Whats the deal with moms lately?

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  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #22
    sal314 said:

    Oh Man...
    if it's not one thing, it's your mother! LOL!

    I have a hard to explain, complicated relationship with my mother too. So, I "get" what you're going through.

    Not sure what to say. My first thought and question was have you lost a lot of weight since your diagnosis? Maybe she noticed how thin and beautiful you are and the jealousy seeped out sideways with that numbnut comment?! LOL.

    My second question is that if your mother is anything like mine, bring up your "hurt" feelings won't help, but just give her another opportunity to zap you (unintentionally or not)

    I don't know what to say. From my experience with my own mother over the years, I've just decided to let comments like that go and realize she's just not capable of expressing herself in an authentic way, so stuff comes out sideways. I just try to extend grace to her and let her **** comments go in one ear and out the other. It takes a little work, but over the years, I've FINALLY gotten to the place where my mom just doesn't have the power over me to affect me negatively anymore. ANd if she says something that REALLY ticks me off, I will just tell her how rude she is or how unkind she's being and that usually shuts her up temporarily!! LOL.

    Good luck. I know many mother/daughter relationships are complicated and just down right messed up! Mine included!:)

    Sally

    mommy dearest
    I know how you feel. Sometimes those that should give us the most support end up hurting us.
    My mom once said,"I know you will be glad when this is all over with so you can start looking pretty again." Thats my mom for ya. I smiled and said,"I didn't realize I was ugly, excuse me if I can't look peachy perfect at this time because I am fighting something inside me that is trying to kill me, thank you very much."
  • Chickadee1955
    Chickadee1955 Member Posts: 356 Member
    #23
    ms.sunshine said:

    mommy dearest
    I know how you feel. Sometimes those that should give us the most support end up hurting us.
    My mom once said,"I know you will be glad when this is all over with so you can start looking pretty again." Thats my mom for ya. I smiled and said,"I didn't realize I was ugly, excuse me if I can't look peachy perfect at this time because I am fighting something inside me that is trying to kill me, thank you very much."

    My mom had a gift for saying
    My mom had a gift for saying things in the most insulting way possible and seemed to be oblivious to the hurt she caused. When pointed out to her she never understood why people would get so upset.

    She died two weeks before I found the lump in my breast and I didn't have the chance to tell her I had cancer. Although I am 54 I still wish I could call her to whine every once in awhile and get the 'Mommy Comfort' nobody else can give.

    My sister had BC 4 years ago, so I think God knew Mom just couldn't take seeing her youngest with BC. My Dad & my brother both died the same year my sister was diagnosed with BC, so it would have been so very difficult for her. I give a lot to get insulted by her one more time. :)

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