one day at a time

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UNBEARABLE
UNBEARABLE Member Posts: 23
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
my husband and i reunited after 20 yrs of no contact. We were married less than a year later. Our 1 yr anniversary is next week. He is 38 has stage iv lung cancer. he has only one lung left with six spots. Trying to take all of this one day at a time....but the pain is unbearable....

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  • luz del lago
    luz del lago Member Posts: 449
    #2
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    Sending Prayers Your Way
    Continue to return to these discussion boards. The wonderful people here have given strength and hope when I have needed it. I really don't know what the future will be, but today I have my love of my life by my side, and I will rejoice in that. Through these discussion boards I know it's ok to feel mad or tired or scared. And I know that it is crucial that I take care of myself and find little times for me. This makes me strong to stand by my husband's side and help him with this battle. Take care, prayers for you and your husband.
  • kimmygarland
    kimmygarland Member Posts: 312
    #3
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    luz del lago said:

    Sending Prayers Your Way
    Continue to return to these discussion boards. The wonderful people here have given strength and hope when I have needed it. I really don't know what the future will be, but today I have my love of my life by my side, and I will rejoice in that. Through these discussion boards I know it's ok to feel mad or tired or scared. And I know that it is crucial that I take care of myself and find little times for me. This makes me strong to stand by my husband's side and help him with this battle. Take care, prayers for you and your husband.

    Thinking of you
    Sending prayers and good thoughts you and hubby's way.
  • appleyellowgreen
    appleyellowgreen Member Posts: 38 Member
    #4
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    Bearing the unbearable
    Oh, I wish I had a magic wand. My husband (it'll be 5 years in September, but we lived together for 26 years before that) has Stage 3 lung cancer. Has had three surgeries, an ablation, and chemo. His PET scan is September 9. He was fine for three years after his initial diagnosis in 2005, but 2009 had other plans for us.

    I know the pain is unbearable. But make as many good memories as you can. Appreciate his head on the pillow next to yours. I stare at my husband when he's asleep. We have no idea of what the future may hold...it's a waiting game. And I'll repeat, one day at a time.

    Use the discussion board. It helps. Start a journal. Start a scrapbook together. You need the outlet for all this pent up stuff. No doubt you are being "the strong one." The wife usually is. Let it out here. We're here for you.

    Adrienne
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #5
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    Love
    We try to live "One day at a time" We are trying to hold it together. Each day is the beginning and in it We look for the day to never end!
    My husband had t4n1 mo Larynx caner in 2009 and we were happy for 9 nines then we got the news it went to his lungs. So now we live each day the best way we can. We love , laugh and some times cry. BUt hopifully today will be tomorrow and we will start another day.
    So we try to spend the time loving each other.
    My husband and I have 36 years together and two adult children. What we have together is ours no one can take that from us. Who knows what tomorrow will brang. Hopifully it will brang another yesterday.
  • cb girl
    cb girl Member Posts: 56 Member
    #6
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    appleyellowgreen said:

    Bearing the unbearable
    Oh, I wish I had a magic wand. My husband (it'll be 5 years in September, but we lived together for 26 years before that) has Stage 3 lung cancer. Has had three surgeries, an ablation, and chemo. His PET scan is September 9. He was fine for three years after his initial diagnosis in 2005, but 2009 had other plans for us.

    I know the pain is unbearable. But make as many good memories as you can. Appreciate his head on the pillow next to yours. I stare at my husband when he's asleep. We have no idea of what the future may hold...it's a waiting game. And I'll repeat, one day at a time.

    Use the discussion board. It helps. Start a journal. Start a scrapbook together. You need the outlet for all this pent up stuff. No doubt you are being "the strong one." The wife usually is. Let it out here. We're here for you.

    Adrienne

    Almost sound the same
    I have been married now for 4 months, after 17 yrs of being together. My husband has Stage 3 lung cancer and we have just begun our journey, April fools day as a matter of fact. His first round of chemo has shrunk the tumors in both lungs by 30% and no progression has happened. Can finally breathe a little.

    But you are so right the pain is unbearable. It is hard being the strong one. Lately I feel so useless. Don't know what to make him to eat because nothing sounds good, what to talk about-weather, sports and news. Of course being the strong guy he just keeps moving forward and not saying how he feels about it at all. Of course he never has been a wear your heart on sleeves guy so why would I expect it now. Trying not to sweat the small stuff, but yet, that's what seems to get to me the most. I stare at him sleeping also, still can't say I enjoy the sound his snoring, though :-)

    Thanks for the reminder of one day at a time. Some days just seem longer than 24 hours.

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