I just lost a friend

delnative

A good friend and former colleague of mine just lost her five-year battle with ovarian cancer. Tammy Brittingham was a damned good journalist and a fine person, but I had lost contact with her until I learned she had cancer.
I too am a cancer warrior: Two years ago I was diagnosed with Stage III squamous cell carcinoma of the right tonsil, metastasized to one lymph node. We reconnected, shared war stories, and she told me how she'd established a foundation to help poor women in our area (which is largely rural) pay for the simple but essential things needed during cancer treatment: day care, a ride to chemo appointments, etc. She said she wanted to help them through "what can be a dark and lonely place."
I came across something she had written on an ovarian cancer forum a couple of years ago, and I wanted to share it with you who are battling the beast and might appreciate it more than the folks on the head & neck cancer forum, where I hang out. But as a cancer warrior it speaks to me, too.
She wrote:
"Now, nearly a year later I can honestly say that cancer has made me a different and I believe better person. I still like to have the last word. I'm still obsessive-compulsive about having a clean house and an organized desk. I still want my own way (because its the best way!) But I notice how brightly the sun shines, how beautiful rain clouds are, how incredibly blue the sky is even when it isn't, how the wind sounds and how the sun feels on my skin. Every hug from my beautiful son (who moved back east from New Mexico after my diagnosis) brings tears to my eyes and joy wells in my heart. And when my husband smiles at me, tells me I'm beautiful (even though I'm a recovering baldy), and says he'll love me forever, I know that I will never die."

--Jim in Delaware

cancer survivor x 4

So True
Thank-You Mr. Jim and I am very sorry about your friend. I agree with the thing about the sun, wind, clouds, etc. I think having cancer heightens the senses. I am currently NED for 14 monthes and notice all of these things more. I am happy to be able to see these things and feel these things. I have 3 sons and my heart sometimes does not seem big enough to hold all of the love. Good luck and thank-you, Paula

Tina Brown

Thank you for posting.
Thank you for posting. Your friends comments are so moving yet so true. I look at life very differently now. I find comfort in animals, my friends pets (I never had any time for pets before) and have become much more socialable than before. Having cancer makes you grab hold onto life 3which sometimes involves doing things differently.

Its strange how selfless one becomes when faced with ones own mortality.

Tina xx

msfanciful

Hello Jim,
I haven't been
Hello Jim,

I haven't been posting as often (I've been trying to do the very thing your friend wrote about...absorbing everything about life).

First I am sad for your loss; yet it was such a wonderful treat for me look up and view this very lovely yet true writing. I couldn't have put it better myself.

It's something to come to the very edge (so close) to your mortality, yet when you overcome it, for me it's like a second chance to truly appreciate, voice everything about life now; because only afterwards you do realize life IS fleeting, nor is it promised...so everyday I use to absorb life its' beauty and its' ugliness.

Thank you for posting and reminding me to take time out to smell the roses.


Sharon

groundeffect

A friend, indeed
Dear Jim,

Thank you for taking the effort to post these words. It is hard to lose a friend; I have lost a number to OVCA since joining our local support group eight years ago. I think you find comfort in the same things I do from knowing those women. They enriched my life and gave me comfort and taught me many things.

May you have a long and healthy life!

Sue