Last day of Radiation wasn't what I expected.

Punkindo
Punkindo Member Posts: 113
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Yesterday I was soo excited to be going to my last day of radiation. I was so happy and proud of myself. The center was so amazing. They gave me a certificate and clapped for me. I also had a gift for them becuase I wanted to show my appreciation. Then I left to go home. I wanted to do something specail with my family to celebrate this milestone. I thought it would be nice to eat out. My daughter was willing to go if she got to pick out the restuarant. My husband never called me back and didn't come home till late. It was such a let down for my immediate family to not want to celebrate with me. I ended up picking up my son from daycare and taking him to Chick Fil A-his favorite- and sitting at a booth crying while he played in the play room. I went from being so happy to be finished with radiation to being sad and depressed because it seemed so important to me, but not so to them. I really felt like I needed to celebrate, but no one else did. Has this happened to anyone else???? How do you deal???

Comments

  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #2
    Oh, let us celebrate with you!
    Cheers to you and congratulations on your brave journey. It is certainly something wonderful to celebrate. I have 6 more rads to go, so I'll be where you are soon.

    I hope you can get everyone together this weekend, explain what this milestone means to you and have a great celebration.

    Hip, hip Hooray for you!!

    Hugs, Renee
  • cavediver
    cavediver Member Posts: 607
    #3
    sorry
    so sorry that your plans were not fulfilled as you wanted. I have not reached that celebration wanted....but know the disappointment of family not seeming to understand or 'be on the same page' for you. I try not to expect too much....their lives are full and normal....we are the ones on the bumpy road of this battle and want to clebrate our milestones. I am sure when the realized the importance to you they felt terrible for not coming through. I think we have to just give them lots of warning.... tell them what is important and how important it is to us.........and even then, not to expect too much and be happy rather than disappointed. Hang in there...I am sure you are loved and will celebrate with your family soon! BTW, a big hug and congrats on your accomplishment! Journey completed........
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #4
    Joyous Day
    Don't allow no one to rob you of your joyous day, your great achievement. Wed. was my final treatment 10 long months . My 8yo son went with me to watch and take pics of me ringing the bell, he gave me a big hug, that meant more to me than anything anyone else could have done or said, then he went to nanas to spend the night. I just wanted to spend time with God, and I did. We will all celebrate this weekend.

    Celebrate this weekend. I know your family is happy that it's over, but they can not possibly feel the way you feel. Only someone who has been there knows.
  • jo jo
    jo jo Member Posts: 1,175 Member
    #5
    Sometimes our other halfs
    Sometimes our other halfs and our children take us for granted. They are so use to us making sure all their needs are met but sometimes they forget about our needs. Its not that they dont love us or dont care. Maybe it has alot to do with them just not understanding as well and maybe you should express to them that this is a big deal to you.
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #6
    jo jo said:

    Sometimes our other halfs
    Sometimes our other halfs and our children take us for granted. They are so use to us making sure all their needs are met but sometimes they forget about our needs. Its not that they dont love us or dont care. Maybe it has alot to do with them just not understanding as well and maybe you should express to them that this is a big deal to you.

    I am so sorry .. this happened to you on your graduation day
    At times our loved one, and children have no idea what we are going thru .. Yes, they know the words - Breast Cancer. Yes they know there are treatments, chemo or rads associated with your diagnosis - but truly do not know everything your body, mind and spirit are have been thru.

    Reschedule your celebration, and make plans for this week-end. When everyone is there and relaxed, perhaps you can then explan what a big deal rad graduation is for you and your fight with breast cancer.

    Strength and Courage:


    Vicki Sam
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #7
    I'm sorry
    I think husbands and kids get so use to wife and mother taking care of everything that they just don't think..Maybe they don't understand..Can you sit sown with your hubby and have a talk and let him know how you feel? It would make you feel better. And make a date for celebration!
  • KayNYC
    KayNYC Member Posts: 495 Member
    #8
    congratulations on your rad grad
    I am so happy for you that you completed this big step in your treatment journey. I am sorry that your family didn't "get" how important that day was for you. I hope you have rescheduled your celebration with them or with friends after letting them know how disappointed and let down you felt.
    I was grateful to have my husband share my celebration. We planned a little get away and went to Atlantic City for the day. Several friends and coworkers called me that day to offer their good wishes. Our two adult chldren (one lives out of state) did not understand the significance of that day for me. They were just relieved that it was over and "things were back to normal again" They are both loving and kind individuals so I was somewhat disappointed as well,that they were absent from our celebration plans. I was able to discuss it with them afterward and have come to accept that they are involved in their own busy lives and sometimes, things are just that way.
    I've come to believe that life is too short to hold a grudge or to damage my relationship with them by holding on to bad feelings.My daughter and I have gotten together for lunch on several occasions since that day in June. Recently, she invited me to spend three days with her at a beach-side cottage she has rented for early September.
    I am thankful that I did not let my disappointment put a tear in our relationship.
    Hugs, K
  • patti anne
    patti anne Member Posts: 101
    #9
    KayNYC said:

    congratulations on your rad grad
    I am so happy for you that you completed this big step in your treatment journey. I am sorry that your family didn't "get" how important that day was for you. I hope you have rescheduled your celebration with them or with friends after letting them know how disappointed and let down you felt.
    I was grateful to have my husband share my celebration. We planned a little get away and went to Atlantic City for the day. Several friends and coworkers called me that day to offer their good wishes. Our two adult chldren (one lives out of state) did not understand the significance of that day for me. They were just relieved that it was over and "things were back to normal again" They are both loving and kind individuals so I was somewhat disappointed as well,that they were absent from our celebration plans. I was able to discuss it with them afterward and have come to accept that they are involved in their own busy lives and sometimes, things are just that way.
    I've come to believe that life is too short to hold a grudge or to damage my relationship with them by holding on to bad feelings.My daughter and I have gotten together for lunch on several occasions since that day in June. Recently, she invited me to spend three days with her at a beach-side cottage she has rented for early September.
    I am thankful that I did not let my disappointment put a tear in our relationship.
    Hugs, K

    Congratulations on being
    Congratulations on being finished with radiation!!
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #10
    I can guarantee if they walked in YOUR shoes
    they would have wanted to celebrate such a victory as this. Too bad many don't live by the golden rule: "Treat others as you would want to be treated".

    I ditto what was mentioned, so many times people are taken for granted. Most times "Moms" are the ones since they do so much.

    And in some cases, family or friends don't acknowledge these things because they just want to get back to normal and want to forget that cancer had rocked their world.

    Either way, these celebration for us ARE important because we know what it means to have been on the battle field. I'm sorry this monumental day was not celebrated. Maybe at the right time, you can communicate that to them.

    We are so happy for you! We celebrate with you! Everyone here always will.

    Sending you a celebration hug & blessings,

    Sylvia
  • GrandmaJ
    GrandmaJ Member Posts: 209
    #11
    sea60 said:

    I can guarantee if they walked in YOUR shoes
    they would have wanted to celebrate such a victory as this. Too bad many don't live by the golden rule: "Treat others as you would want to be treated".

    I ditto what was mentioned, so many times people are taken for granted. Most times "Moms" are the ones since they do so much.

    And in some cases, family or friends don't acknowledge these things because they just want to get back to normal and want to forget that cancer had rocked their world.

    Either way, these celebration for us ARE important because we know what it means to have been on the battle field. I'm sorry this monumental day was not celebrated. Maybe at the right time, you can communicate that to them.

    We are so happy for you! We celebrate with you! Everyone here always will.

    Sending you a celebration hug & blessings,

    Sylvia

    Rads celebration
    Congratulations on finishing radiation. That is a big step on your way to wellness. I think most family members think radiation is easy......I mean my husband thought it was like having a chest x-ray.... little do they know. I don't think most people really understand what all we go through and unfortunately, most of them just don't want to know.

    But all of us here know what an accomplishment finishing radiation is...so celebrate. Go out and by yourself something new to wear, or stop and get an ice cream sundae....

    YEAH, you are done with rads...


    Judy
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #12
    smalldoggroomer said:

    I'm sorry
    I think husbands and kids get so use to wife and mother taking care of everything that they just don't think..Maybe they don't understand..Can you sit sown with your hubby and have a talk and let him know how you feel? It would make you feel better. And make a date for celebration!

    Congrats to you on being
    Congrats to you on being done with rads! That is so great!


    Hugs, Megan
  • terri805
    terri805 Member Posts: 122
    #13
    I know how you feel
    The same thing happened to me Punkindo. When I completed my radiation treatments it was no big deal to anyone but me. Even the radiation staff acted like an everyday thing which I guess for them it is. I felt disappointed that no one shared my excitement. My family never said anything except "oh thats good" when I told then I'm finished. It truely was a let down. I have 17 yr old twins and a 21 yr and a husband and they really haven't been very supportive throughout. They think that as long as I am walking talking and breathing that I am just fine. It would be nice for them to show they care.
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #14
    ms.sunshine said:

    Joyous Day
    Don't allow no one to rob you of your joyous day, your great achievement. Wed. was my final treatment 10 long months . My 8yo son went with me to watch and take pics of me ringing the bell, he gave me a big hug, that meant more to me than anything anyone else could have done or said, then he went to nanas to spend the night. I just wanted to spend time with God, and I did. We will all celebrate this weekend.

    Celebrate this weekend. I know your family is happy that it's over, but they can not possibly feel the way you feel. Only someone who has been there knows.

    We will celebrate with you!
    We will celebrate with you! Big congratulations!
  • lanie940
    lanie940 Member Posts: 490 Member
    #15
    Oh I remember my last day of
    Oh I remember my last day of Rads(last December)Thursday before the Weekend before Christmas. I had been having weird feelings around my lips and nose(numb/tingling)feeling. I mentioned it to the nurse, she didn't have much to say. Anyway, I kepted getting worse, till the weekend I felt terible, ended up in the hosp for 4 days with electolyte imballance!
  • Punkindo
    Punkindo Member Posts: 113
    #16
    Me again
    I wanted to check back in. I have ALMOST :) let go being upset with my family for not wanting to celebrate my milestone. I guess most of you are right, they just dont get it. But I know who does. Other survivors. I have joined a breast cancer survivor group in my town. I went to my first meeting last night. I left feeling so good- and like someone actually understood me again. YEA!!!

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