for everyone on the board-pls read

ketziah35

Do not let the recent events on the board diminish your spirit!

Love and blessings!



Ketz

lisa42

I agree
I know and agree!! It is very hard to hear such sad news and, of course, it brings back the hard reality of the thought to us, especially us stage IVers, that we could be next. Well, I guess we could be, BUT we all know that depressed and negative thinking depresses the whole body and diminishes the fight within us to keep kicking and continue living with a positive mood.
Everyone is different- just because several people have died recently does NOT mean that we are going to be next! All the "what ifs" that start creeping into our minds and consciousness have to be kicked out the door. For me personally, I try to stay busy physically and mentally with my husband and kids and friends. Personally, since my faith in Jesus is very real and important to me, I have to daily ask God to take away my doubts and worries. Worrying is a waste of time and energy and makes our bodies fare worse!
As very difficult as it is, we all have to find a way to get rid of the stress and the worries. If that means taking a break from this board for a while, so be it. I've done that a couple of times in the past (never lasted too long though- I'm always drawn back here). My husband wonders why I want to go on a discussion board about cancer and where people are dying. He says he can't understand it at all and he would never "subject himself" to that if it were him. He doesn't mean that in a mean or vindictive way, he just truly can't understand what draws me here or why I would want to talk about cancer or strike up relationships with people that may end up dying (his words). I know that I like to share things more than he does (he had heart problems a few years back and wouldn't even let me tell anyone outside family & got upset when he heard my coworkers all knew about it. Very hard for me to understand his thinking and it was hard to honor his request of not talking about it, because I have an intrinsic need to talk about such things), BUT... everyone is different. Some just can not deal with this sort of thing or take this kind of news without it being completely devastating to them.
I guess I've gotten to the point in my illness and in life where I know that I may end up dying from this, so thinking of that now isn't as hard as it was for me before. It's still very, very hard to lose people that I had a relationship with, but so far as it hitting me between the eyes about my own condition, it just doesn't upset me as much as it once did. I know where I'll be going and I'm not afraid- truly. My fears and worries are related to what my husband and children will do and how they would cope. It would be very difficult, but I've now gotten to the point where I completely trust God that He will not give my family more than they can bear with. I pray that means that I won't die, at least not while my kids are still young and living at home, but even if it does end up me dying before I'd like, then I still trust my God to provide for physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of my husband and kids. He is my life and He will provide- I believe that.
That is how I can cope with the thoughts that pop into my head about my stage IV cancer.

With all that said, I do NOT feel like I am leaving this planet anytime soon. My CEA is going down, and I know there will be options to continue fighting this with even if my current treatment stops working. I will still, of course, accept a complete miracle of healing, but I have been asking for this for the 3 years I've known I've had cancer and God has not chosen to give me a complete miracle- yet anyhow. But He continues to sustain me- I'm still here- alive and definitely kicking!

Take care all of you and take cheer- what happens to another does not define what is or isn't going to happen to you.

Blessings,
Lisa

luv3jay

Okay, well Lisa just
Okay, well Lisa just completely said everything I feel. So I will just say "ditto"!

Sheri

tootsie1

Good advice
Thank you, dear. Much needed at this time!

*hugs*
Gail

Buzzard

tootsie1 said:

Good advice
Thank you, dear. Much needed at this time!

*hugs*
Gail

Ditto........
Thank you ...says it all.......

Jaylo969

Thanks Ketz for the reminder
I will admit that I have been a little overwhelmed at recent events. I was only 4 weeks out of chemo, trying to regain a little strength from the effects of the treatments when my Mother was dx'd with terminal cancer, so advanced that the oncologist only saw her one time and suggested palliative care. No treatment, just pain management. My Dad has been a bedridden invalid for 2 years so I'm doing what I have to do.I come on here when I have a moment and when I see all of these good people suffering it is heartbreaking to me.I must admit that I am becoming a little paranoid. I am due my first scan since surgery August 20th and truthfully I am uneasy.

Thanks for the reminder that cancer cannot, shall not, touch my spirit.

-Pat

chicoturner

Some days are just harder
Some days are just harder then others. Lisa, thank you for sharing your faith with us. I too feel each day has a purpose. that being said doesn't mean that I don't get scared, I do.
But none of us know what tomorrow brings, so we do our best to work hard and enjoy the gifts we have. When we start making a list of things we are thankful for it helps. I look at my grand baby and my expected one to know that I have a real reason to fight. If you don't think you have a real reason, look around, there are so many people that can benefit from your goodness. Don't give up! Love, Jean

Sonia32

lisa42 said:

I agree
I know and agree!! It is very hard to hear such sad news and, of course, it brings back the hard reality of the thought to us, especially us stage IVers, that we could be next. Well, I guess we could be, BUT we all know that depressed and negative thinking depresses the whole body and diminishes the fight within us to keep kicking and continue living with a positive mood.
Everyone is different- just because several people have died recently does NOT mean that we are going to be next! All the "what ifs" that start creeping into our minds and consciousness have to be kicked out the door. For me personally, I try to stay busy physically and mentally with my husband and kids and friends. Personally, since my faith in Jesus is very real and important to me, I have to daily ask God to take away my doubts and worries. Worrying is a waste of time and energy and makes our bodies fare worse!
As very difficult as it is, we all have to find a way to get rid of the stress and the worries. If that means taking a break from this board for a while, so be it. I've done that a couple of times in the past (never lasted too long though- I'm always drawn back here). My husband wonders why I want to go on a discussion board about cancer and where people are dying. He says he can't understand it at all and he would never "subject himself" to that if it were him. He doesn't mean that in a mean or vindictive way, he just truly can't understand what draws me here or why I would want to talk about cancer or strike up relationships with people that may end up dying (his words). I know that I like to share things more than he does (he had heart problems a few years back and wouldn't even let me tell anyone outside family & got upset when he heard my coworkers all knew about it. Very hard for me to understand his thinking and it was hard to honor his request of not talking about it, because I have an intrinsic need to talk about such things), BUT... everyone is different. Some just can not deal with this sort of thing or take this kind of news without it being completely devastating to them.
I guess I've gotten to the point in my illness and in life where I know that I may end up dying from this, so thinking of that now isn't as hard as it was for me before. It's still very, very hard to lose people that I had a relationship with, but so far as it hitting me between the eyes about my own condition, it just doesn't upset me as much as it once did. I know where I'll be going and I'm not afraid- truly. My fears and worries are related to what my husband and children will do and how they would cope. It would be very difficult, but I've now gotten to the point where I completely trust God that He will not give my family more than they can bear with. I pray that means that I won't die, at least not while my kids are still young and living at home, but even if it does end up me dying before I'd like, then I still trust my God to provide for physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of my husband and kids. He is my life and He will provide- I believe that.
That is how I can cope with the thoughts that pop into my head about my stage IV cancer.

With all that said, I do NOT feel like I am leaving this planet anytime soon. My CEA is going down, and I know there will be options to continue fighting this with even if my current treatment stops working. I will still, of course, accept a complete miracle of healing, but I have been asking for this for the 3 years I've known I've had cancer and God has not chosen to give me a complete miracle- yet anyhow. But He continues to sustain me- I'm still here- alive and definitely kicking!

Take care all of you and take cheer- what happens to another does not define what is or isn't going to happen to you.

Blessings,
Lisa

Hugs
I agree well said

Unknown

chicoturner said:

Some days are just harder
Some days are just harder then others. Lisa, thank you for sharing your faith with us. I too feel each day has a purpose. that being said doesn't mean that I don't get scared, I do.
But none of us know what tomorrow brings, so we do our best to work hard and enjoy the gifts we have. When we start making a list of things we are thankful for it helps. I look at my grand baby and my expected one to know that I have a real reason to fight. If you don't think you have a real reason, look around, there are so many people that can benefit from your goodness. Don't give up! Love, Jean

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

abmb

From a caretakers point
I am just a caretaker and I read most of the posts daily if not more. Life in general will bring everyone sadness, so when we see it posted on the board, I am sure it gets depressing from everyone fighting this disease, but think past the sadness, on this board you have SOooooooo much support and love. Take care and God bless. Margaret

shmurciakova

we are all different
Hi guys,
I am not much of a poster here anymore, primarily a lurker. I was diagnosed in 2002 and am a Stage IV survivor. I have been NED over 5 years now. I know there are a handful of others out there that have been lucky, as I have been! Of course over these last 8+ years I have known many people who are no longer with us. There have been many times that I have asked myself why I still look at these forums. Indeed, I thought that to myself just before I logged on, but the thing is maybe I come on here to remind people from time to time that there is hope. Just because something happened to someone else does not mean that it will happen to you. Even if two cases seem very similar (and that rarely happens it seems), the outcome can be completely different. I have seen this. You always have the choice not to read certain posts, or posts by certain individuals who get you down. Just remember, their story is not your story!
I hope that helped a little. It is just my experience in dealing with this subject.
Take care and good luck to each of you!
-Susan H.

karguy

Thank you
Thanks for your reminder,I just needed to be reminded why I must keep fighting.

sasjourney

shmurciakova said:

we are all different
Hi guys,
I am not much of a poster here anymore, primarily a lurker. I was diagnosed in 2002 and am a Stage IV survivor. I have been NED over 5 years now. I know there are a handful of others out there that have been lucky, as I have been! Of course over these last 8+ years I have known many people who are no longer with us. There have been many times that I have asked myself why I still look at these forums. Indeed, I thought that to myself just before I logged on, but the thing is maybe I come on here to remind people from time to time that there is hope. Just because something happened to someone else does not mean that it will happen to you. Even if two cases seem very similar (and that rarely happens it seems), the outcome can be completely different. I have seen this. You always have the choice not to read certain posts, or posts by certain individuals who get you down. Just remember, their story is not your story!
I hope that helped a little. It is just my experience in dealing with this subject.
Take care and good luck to each of you!
-Susan H.

Thanks Susan!
Thank you so much for posting Susan. It is so great to hear from people that have survived and are living cancer free now. I know there are many more happy stories of people that have responded well to treatment. There are new advances being made everyday and I know that someday there will be a cure. In the meantime, we all have to believe that we can overcome it and be a survivor. We have so much to live for.

Keep on enjoying your beautiful life!

-Sara

ketziah35

Good discussion
One of my grandmas died of lung cancer the other of ovarian. My dad had his bladder removed due to bladder cancer. My mom has colon cancer. My great aunt died of lung cancer and my uncle has prostrate cancer. I may get cancer or I may not, but God doesn't give you life not to experience life. Worry takes th energy away from what God wants you to do, which is to live every second to the fullest. I was watching something one day and the premise was to prepare for stumbles in the road, but have faith that you will overcome them.

It is ok to take a sabbatical from relationships and things sometimes. Some may need a break from the board to regroup in the midst of intense overload. John the Baptist went alone in the woods to meditate and soldiers get leave from active duty. We are no different.

Take care of yourselves physically and mentally.

Love and blessings!

Ketz

Annabelle41415

Very Saddening News
This month has been especially hard for me with all the deaths and recurrences. Feeling so vulnerable and scared. Just wishing this cancer never was. Hoping that all goes well with everyone. But you are right, we have a lot of new technology and new trials to be had. That is how a lot of cancer survivors live, by someone giving their life up for a new trial. We have to have hope. Relay for Life is always a great source of comfort.

Kim

AnneCan

lisa42 said:

I agree
I know and agree!! It is very hard to hear such sad news and, of course, it brings back the hard reality of the thought to us, especially us stage IVers, that we could be next. Well, I guess we could be, BUT we all know that depressed and negative thinking depresses the whole body and diminishes the fight within us to keep kicking and continue living with a positive mood.
Everyone is different- just because several people have died recently does NOT mean that we are going to be next! All the "what ifs" that start creeping into our minds and consciousness have to be kicked out the door. For me personally, I try to stay busy physically and mentally with my husband and kids and friends. Personally, since my faith in Jesus is very real and important to me, I have to daily ask God to take away my doubts and worries. Worrying is a waste of time and energy and makes our bodies fare worse!
As very difficult as it is, we all have to find a way to get rid of the stress and the worries. If that means taking a break from this board for a while, so be it. I've done that a couple of times in the past (never lasted too long though- I'm always drawn back here). My husband wonders why I want to go on a discussion board about cancer and where people are dying. He says he can't understand it at all and he would never "subject himself" to that if it were him. He doesn't mean that in a mean or vindictive way, he just truly can't understand what draws me here or why I would want to talk about cancer or strike up relationships with people that may end up dying (his words). I know that I like to share things more than he does (he had heart problems a few years back and wouldn't even let me tell anyone outside family & got upset when he heard my coworkers all knew about it. Very hard for me to understand his thinking and it was hard to honor his request of not talking about it, because I have an intrinsic need to talk about such things), BUT... everyone is different. Some just can not deal with this sort of thing or take this kind of news without it being completely devastating to them.
I guess I've gotten to the point in my illness and in life where I know that I may end up dying from this, so thinking of that now isn't as hard as it was for me before. It's still very, very hard to lose people that I had a relationship with, but so far as it hitting me between the eyes about my own condition, it just doesn't upset me as much as it once did. I know where I'll be going and I'm not afraid- truly. My fears and worries are related to what my husband and children will do and how they would cope. It would be very difficult, but I've now gotten to the point where I completely trust God that He will not give my family more than they can bear with. I pray that means that I won't die, at least not while my kids are still young and living at home, but even if it does end up me dying before I'd like, then I still trust my God to provide for physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of my husband and kids. He is my life and He will provide- I believe that.
That is how I can cope with the thoughts that pop into my head about my stage IV cancer.

With all that said, I do NOT feel like I am leaving this planet anytime soon. My CEA is going down, and I know there will be options to continue fighting this with even if my current treatment stops working. I will still, of course, accept a complete miracle of healing, but I have been asking for this for the 3 years I've known I've had cancer and God has not chosen to give me a complete miracle- yet anyhow. But He continues to sustain me- I'm still here- alive and definitely kicking!

Take care all of you and take cheer- what happens to another does not define what is or isn't going to happen to you.

Blessings,
Lisa

Lisa
Lisa, Sonia is right, this is very well said. I am always impressed by your attitude + it will take you far in this journey. None of us knows what will happen in our own personal journey + I think we have to keep believing we will "win". I am so excited that your CEA is going down + you have to take a lot of the credit for that as you researched treatment possibilities. I want to wish you continued success. Your husband may want to deal with things differently than you; we all have different coping skills. I am with you; I find the support on this board fantastic + I am also always drawn to it.

greybeard64

lisa42 said:

I agree
I know and agree!! It is very hard to hear such sad news and, of course, it brings back the hard reality of the thought to us, especially us stage IVers, that we could be next. Well, I guess we could be, BUT we all know that depressed and negative thinking depresses the whole body and diminishes the fight within us to keep kicking and continue living with a positive mood.
Everyone is different- just because several people have died recently does NOT mean that we are going to be next! All the "what ifs" that start creeping into our minds and consciousness have to be kicked out the door. For me personally, I try to stay busy physically and mentally with my husband and kids and friends. Personally, since my faith in Jesus is very real and important to me, I have to daily ask God to take away my doubts and worries. Worrying is a waste of time and energy and makes our bodies fare worse!
As very difficult as it is, we all have to find a way to get rid of the stress and the worries. If that means taking a break from this board for a while, so be it. I've done that a couple of times in the past (never lasted too long though- I'm always drawn back here). My husband wonders why I want to go on a discussion board about cancer and where people are dying. He says he can't understand it at all and he would never "subject himself" to that if it were him. He doesn't mean that in a mean or vindictive way, he just truly can't understand what draws me here or why I would want to talk about cancer or strike up relationships with people that may end up dying (his words). I know that I like to share things more than he does (he had heart problems a few years back and wouldn't even let me tell anyone outside family & got upset when he heard my coworkers all knew about it. Very hard for me to understand his thinking and it was hard to honor his request of not talking about it, because I have an intrinsic need to talk about such things), BUT... everyone is different. Some just can not deal with this sort of thing or take this kind of news without it being completely devastating to them.
I guess I've gotten to the point in my illness and in life where I know that I may end up dying from this, so thinking of that now isn't as hard as it was for me before. It's still very, very hard to lose people that I had a relationship with, but so far as it hitting me between the eyes about my own condition, it just doesn't upset me as much as it once did. I know where I'll be going and I'm not afraid- truly. My fears and worries are related to what my husband and children will do and how they would cope. It would be very difficult, but I've now gotten to the point where I completely trust God that He will not give my family more than they can bear with. I pray that means that I won't die, at least not while my kids are still young and living at home, but even if it does end up me dying before I'd like, then I still trust my God to provide for physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of my husband and kids. He is my life and He will provide- I believe that.
That is how I can cope with the thoughts that pop into my head about my stage IV cancer.

With all that said, I do NOT feel like I am leaving this planet anytime soon. My CEA is going down, and I know there will be options to continue fighting this with even if my current treatment stops working. I will still, of course, accept a complete miracle of healing, but I have been asking for this for the 3 years I've known I've had cancer and God has not chosen to give me a complete miracle- yet anyhow. But He continues to sustain me- I'm still here- alive and definitely kicking!

Take care all of you and take cheer- what happens to another does not define what is or isn't going to happen to you.

Blessings,
Lisa

very nice
You hit it on the head!
I, like you, no longer worry about me as far as how long I have upon this earth. I am quite comfortable with where I am and as John Denver said. "my life is worth living, I dont need to see the end."
What hits me the hardest emotionaly is those who are left behind, the wives, husbands, sisters, brothers children..... I know this may be considered "old school" thinking, and I dont mean to imply that without me around my wife and kids would cease to function, but I was raised and believe that a man takes care of his family. It is a responsiblilty that my father taught me both in words and in actions. this responsiblity is not limited to financial or physical care but emotional as well. It is this feeling of letting them down, or "failing" in my duties that I struggle with at times. I read the posts of others passing and while I will miss them and I hurt for the lose, I know they are fine and I do not mourn for them. What I struggle to deal with is seeing the hurt and loss of that persons family and friends left behind. I transpose my own loved ones into that equation and while I should know it is not my fault, I cant help but feel responsible for the pain they would feel. This is not something I dwell on, it's just during those times when my defenses are down a bit or I am feeling low.

"Death often weighs heavier on us by its weight on others, and pains us by their pain almost as much as by our own, and sometimes more" Montaigne


Thanks Lisa, for putting things back in perspective, I needed that!

hope this finds ya smilin, and thanks again Lisa.
chris

Paula G.

lisa42 said:

I agree
I know and agree!! It is very hard to hear such sad news and, of course, it brings back the hard reality of the thought to us, especially us stage IVers, that we could be next. Well, I guess we could be, BUT we all know that depressed and negative thinking depresses the whole body and diminishes the fight within us to keep kicking and continue living with a positive mood.
Everyone is different- just because several people have died recently does NOT mean that we are going to be next! All the "what ifs" that start creeping into our minds and consciousness have to be kicked out the door. For me personally, I try to stay busy physically and mentally with my husband and kids and friends. Personally, since my faith in Jesus is very real and important to me, I have to daily ask God to take away my doubts and worries. Worrying is a waste of time and energy and makes our bodies fare worse!
As very difficult as it is, we all have to find a way to get rid of the stress and the worries. If that means taking a break from this board for a while, so be it. I've done that a couple of times in the past (never lasted too long though- I'm always drawn back here). My husband wonders why I want to go on a discussion board about cancer and where people are dying. He says he can't understand it at all and he would never "subject himself" to that if it were him. He doesn't mean that in a mean or vindictive way, he just truly can't understand what draws me here or why I would want to talk about cancer or strike up relationships with people that may end up dying (his words). I know that I like to share things more than he does (he had heart problems a few years back and wouldn't even let me tell anyone outside family & got upset when he heard my coworkers all knew about it. Very hard for me to understand his thinking and it was hard to honor his request of not talking about it, because I have an intrinsic need to talk about such things), BUT... everyone is different. Some just can not deal with this sort of thing or take this kind of news without it being completely devastating to them.
I guess I've gotten to the point in my illness and in life where I know that I may end up dying from this, so thinking of that now isn't as hard as it was for me before. It's still very, very hard to lose people that I had a relationship with, but so far as it hitting me between the eyes about my own condition, it just doesn't upset me as much as it once did. I know where I'll be going and I'm not afraid- truly. My fears and worries are related to what my husband and children will do and how they would cope. It would be very difficult, but I've now gotten to the point where I completely trust God that He will not give my family more than they can bear with. I pray that means that I won't die, at least not while my kids are still young and living at home, but even if it does end up me dying before I'd like, then I still trust my God to provide for physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of my husband and kids. He is my life and He will provide- I believe that.
That is how I can cope with the thoughts that pop into my head about my stage IV cancer.

With all that said, I do NOT feel like I am leaving this planet anytime soon. My CEA is going down, and I know there will be options to continue fighting this with even if my current treatment stops working. I will still, of course, accept a complete miracle of healing, but I have been asking for this for the 3 years I've known I've had cancer and God has not chosen to give me a complete miracle- yet anyhow. But He continues to sustain me- I'm still here- alive and definitely kicking!

Take care all of you and take cheer- what happens to another does not define what is or isn't going to happen to you.

Blessings,
Lisa

Well put,Lisa. Thanks.

Well put,Lisa. Thanks.

LOUSWIFT

greybeard64 said:

very nice
You hit it on the head!
I, like you, no longer worry about me as far as how long I have upon this earth. I am quite comfortable with where I am and as John Denver said. "my life is worth living, I dont need to see the end."
What hits me the hardest emotionaly is those who are left behind, the wives, husbands, sisters, brothers children..... I know this may be considered "old school" thinking, and I dont mean to imply that without me around my wife and kids would cease to function, but I was raised and believe that a man takes care of his family. It is a responsiblilty that my father taught me both in words and in actions. this responsiblity is not limited to financial or physical care but emotional as well. It is this feeling of letting them down, or "failing" in my duties that I struggle with at times. I read the posts of others passing and while I will miss them and I hurt for the lose, I know they are fine and I do not mourn for them. What I struggle to deal with is seeing the hurt and loss of that persons family and friends left behind. I transpose my own loved ones into that equation and while I should know it is not my fault, I cant help but feel responsible for the pain they would feel. This is not something I dwell on, it's just during those times when my defenses are down a bit or I am feeling low.

"Death often weighs heavier on us by its weight on others, and pains us by their pain almost as much as by our own, and sometimes more" Montaigne


Thanks Lisa, for putting things back in perspective, I needed that!

hope this finds ya smilin, and thanks again Lisa.
chris

You are well read and what you say here is exactly how I feel being a husband, Dad, and grandpa. I can take the pain I just can't prevent it from hurting the ones I love.