It has been one heartbreaking year :'(

allison731

A year ago today, my beloved mother passed away. I am only 17, was 16 then. She was the only one to comfort me at hard times, so now I am lost without her. Besides Mother's Day, today has been one of the realest and hardest days I have yet to live without her. & I think I have finally realized I have been in shock and denial for a very very long time, and am just now mourning the loss of my mother. I graduated from high school and went to Prom, and experienced everything this past year without her. My first heartbreak was when she passed and it has yet to heal. There will always be the empitness inside of me. Although I have peace with knowing she is no longer hurting or suffering, I miss her and it hurts. I just can't believe my mommy is gone, and she will not be able to see me graduate, walk me down the isle, be a grandma and meet her grandkids all because God took her too soon.

zinniemay

Mother's love
I can not mend your broken heart, but as a mother I can tell you that I would not want this for my children. I would want you to live life, love and be happy. I would want you to take me with you in your heart. Remember the things I taught you, the things I did that you thought were silly or dumb, and laugh (So if I can hear you) . I would want you to always remember you are the best part of me. When you do have a child teach them and tell them that is how your grandmother taugh me to do it. The best you can do is take what you learned and share it. I would want to be remembered for the joy I gave not the saddiness I cause.
I am so sorry about your mom. I lost both parents to cancer. Not a day goes by that I do not think of them , but I know that they loved me and cared. I know I have to teach my children about them and the things they did. My dad was so funny he would say the funniest things. He could make anyone laugh. My mom she could cook and I have still not mastered her southern Fried Chicken, But I can make many dishes she taught me and I have taught my children.
What I will leave to my children is happy times and good times. So they can pass it on.

GregStahl

I lost my mom
07/30/1980 when I was 15 (I know...old fart here). I still think about her especially now that my wife has the same cancer she died of. I still have so many things to say to her. Our relationship was strained at best....she wanted a girl and never let me forget that I was not her first choice.

Your mom didnt miss out on prom or your graduation...she was there with you. She will be there with you when you walk down the isle, during your pregnancy and when you have a beautiful baby. She will be there during the good times and bad, you will hear her advice and feel her love and embrace. She will guiding you, help you, and occasionally when you need it, smacking you up side the head when you make those dumb little mistakes.

She is in your heart, and always will be.

Hope this wasnt to forward or personal.
Greg

allison731

zinniemay said:

Mother's love
I can not mend your broken heart, but as a mother I can tell you that I would not want this for my children. I would want you to live life, love and be happy. I would want you to take me with you in your heart. Remember the things I taught you, the things I did that you thought were silly or dumb, and laugh (So if I can hear you) . I would want you to always remember you are the best part of me. When you do have a child teach them and tell them that is how your grandmother taugh me to do it. The best you can do is take what you learned and share it. I would want to be remembered for the joy I gave not the saddiness I cause.
I am so sorry about your mom. I lost both parents to cancer. Not a day goes by that I do not think of them , but I know that they loved me and cared. I know I have to teach my children about them and the things they did. My dad was so funny he would say the funniest things. He could make anyone laugh. My mom she could cook and I have still not mastered her southern Fried Chicken, But I can make many dishes she taught me and I have taught my children.
What I will leave to my children is happy times and good times. So they can pass it on.

Sounds like Mom
Thank you so very much, I know if she was still here she would have said the same things to me. Some days are just as awful as the first, but as each day passes it's getting less sad. But I think I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't get better or easier, you just find a way to deal with it which makes the pain bearable. I can't imagine having a child without my mom, but I guess I will just have to act as grandma too and show my kids what she taught me. I'm so sorry about your parents. May they rest in peace & I pray that you have found a way to deal and live for them through your children. Thank you again for your kind words and reminders of how much Mom's really do care and love for their kids.

allison731

GregStahl said:

I lost my mom
07/30/1980 when I was 15 (I know...old fart here). I still think about her especially now that my wife has the same cancer she died of. I still have so many things to say to her. Our relationship was strained at best....she wanted a girl and never let me forget that I was not her first choice.

Your mom didnt miss out on prom or your graduation...she was there with you. She will be there with you when you walk down the isle, during your pregnancy and when you have a beautiful baby. She will be there during the good times and bad, you will hear her advice and feel her love and embrace. She will guiding you, help you, and occasionally when you need it, smacking you up side the head when you make those dumb little mistakes.

She is in your heart, and always will be.

Hope this wasnt to forward or personal.
Greg

So sorry
I am so sorry to hear what your mom told you and how your relationship happened to be. I'm sure she loved you with all her heart because any mother only wishes the best for their children, including you. If you still have so many things to say to her, speak. She can hear you, wherever you are. She always has an open ear & she will always be listening to every word. For me, I thank you for reminding me she will always be there within my heart, and that's where I can always find her. Just can't believe I lost someone who still has so much to teach me about life & now I am figuring it out alone, only with her guiding me from above. I will be praying you can fix your relationship with your mom, she loves you and always will.

onhold

parents
Your mom will always be there with you, but I know how it feels to want her there in person to share the experience with. I was older when my dad died of cancer, yet I still felt like a kid without daddy. I will likely loose my husband to cancer before too long. The loss of my dad did get easier to deal with, I just had to learn let go. I am trying to let go of my current anxiety about my husband.

I did find that I met folks who reminded me of my dad, and in fact became good friends with some of them. I like to think of it as substitutes for the ones you miss. My kids grew up knowing an elderly couple who filled in as grandparents. I think life will fill in for you with experiences which will help enrich your existence in some way, whether big or small. It is not the same, I know, but you will be able to appreciate it when you realize it.

And please enjoy your milestones for what they are. I too have to realize I will never see my husband age, and my someday grandkids will not know their grandfather. But we are rich with family and good friends, and they will know him from the stories that will be told.

Your mom knows you, loves you, and is following along in your life, believe it. You can be strong and get to the easier times.