MyTurnNow VS The Beast - Round 2

MyTurnNow

I have been struggling with exactly how to put my "new" information out here. I definately don't want to scare anyone because we seem to have had more than our fair share of recurrances in the past weeks. Well, here goes.......

Some of you may recall that I posted a short time ago that I was having my "first" mammo after completing all my treatments. I didn't share that I had discovered a lump on the same breast that was previously affected because I was hoping that it wasn't "the beast". I have since had an MRI and just last Tuesday, a needle biopsy. I received the results Thursday and I again have IDC.

As you can imagine, I have been spending the past couple of days getting my head around this. I have only shared my recurrence with family, of course, and a few friends. Now, I am sharing it with my most favorite cyber space friends. And, by the way you all are much more helpful and supportive than many, because you've been there!

The recommended treatment is mastectomy. I have to tell you that when I was dx last year (6/09) with my first bc dx, my first choice was to have a bi-lateral mastectomy. I didn't though, based on my situation and recommendations, I had a lumpectomy. I know that hindsight is 20/20 but there is so much uncertainty and unknown about this beast that who would have known. I'm really not spending any time thinking or second quessing myself but instead am facing forward and ready for Round 2.

I will start meeting with my docs next week and also currently have a PET scan scheduled for Tuesday. So, with the support and encouragement of my bc sisters, I am determined to start the battle again. I've already beat this beast once, this time will be for the same prize.

aisling8

What a load you've been carrying
I'm so sorry to hear your news and sorry, too, that you spent time worrying about how to tell us. I don't pretend to speak for everyone, but I bet most of us will say don't worry about us, save your energy for doing what you gotta go do. We're all here with you.

Go, fight, win!!!!

xo,
Victoria

Aortus

You are amazing, MTN
After everything you've been through, not just in the last year but just now, to worry about how *others* will respond to your news... well, that's just plain amazing. And the fact that you're not second-guessing yourself or the doctors is every bit as impressive.

Yes, it has been a genuinely cr@ppy summer for recurrence. On the other hand, every BC survivor on this board is automatically on a winning streak just by virtue of being here. It's not really all that scary (as you have shown us all right now) to be down by a couple of runs in the early innings, as long as you win the game. Which you will, MTN. I'm still going to pray for you and fret about you, because that's how I roll. But I am not going to worry. Because I know you are definitely going to keep your personal winning streak going.

Batter up!

Jean 0609

Sorry to hear your bad news.
However, it seems that you have the right attitude and that means soooooooo much! Hang in there. We are all here for you. Hugs :>) Jean

survives

Aortus said:

You are amazing, MTN
After everything you've been through, not just in the last year but just now, to worry about how *others* will respond to your news... well, that's just plain amazing. And the fact that you're not second-guessing yourself or the doctors is every bit as impressive.

Yes, it has been a genuinely cr@ppy summer for recurrence. On the other hand, every BC survivor on this board is automatically on a winning streak just by virtue of being here. It's not really all that scary (as you have shown us all right now) to be down by a couple of runs in the early innings, as long as you win the game. Which you will, MTN. I'm still going to pray for you and fret about you, because that's how I roll. But I am not going to worry. Because I know you are definitely going to keep your personal winning streak going.

Batter up!

Oh, goodness!
Well one thing's certain.........you are one strong lady! I'm sorry this has happened, and like has already been stated, don't worry about the fears of others. All here will get over it, and move on to supporting you as needed. Please feel our healing vibrations as we gather around you.

Fists up, kiddo!

Edited for lousy spelling!

KathiM

You will keep striking it down!!!
That beast better watch out!!! It's up for ANOTHER defeat!!!

I'm sending great hugs...

(BTW, as far as the lumpectomy, the best piece of advice a nurse gave to me was "Whatever choice you make at the time, it's the right one...NO second thoughts!!!")

Hugs, Kathi

chenheart

You know where MY heart is,
You know where MY heart is, MyTurn. I completely understand the delay in posting, and wrapping your head around the news. I think it says something so meaningful and loving about the friends we have here on the boards...bar NONE, each of us with a recurrance has hesitated to post because of how it would affect others! We are the most unselfish women anywhere!

I have such a lovely book right next to me on the couch; it is more meaningful and poignant than ever.

I agree with Kathi; the original decision you made was indeed the right one~nothing about this Beast is predictable or respectful. We make our decisons based on many things~ and there is no need to look back and play "what if." It doesn't change the now anyway, does it?

Know that you are loved~ and cared for and supported all of the way!

Here's to ALL of the warrior-survivors!

Hugs,
Chen♥

Miss Murphy

Stay Strong
My thoughts and prayers are going out to you at this time and to all those that are just being dx for the first time and those on this board that are having to fight the fight again. And I know you made the best decision for you at the time last year - just as this time you will as well. No second guessing allowed!

We're all in the fight with you. Hugs, Sally

RE

Hugs~Hugs~Hugs
I agree it has been a rough summer for recurrances and yes it is oh so frustrating to say the least! MTN I know you know, however I still want to say you've got my prayers, hugs and support. Keep us posted on the PET and please don't worry about scaring us, we are hear for you as you said we have been there and we want to be there for you!

♥ RE ♥

Dawne.Hope

Prayers to you
Dear MTN,

I cannot say more than what's been said. But I want you to know that you're in my prayers. And I love what RE said, you've been there for us and we will/want to be there for you.

Please do keep us posted.

Sending love and [[[[[hugs]]]]]]
dh

Double Whammy

It's what we're here for
I'm so sorry you've had a recurrence, but glad you posted. This doggone thing just doesn't react the same way in everyone! It just seems to love to surprise us. I know we're all here for you and will be with you throughout this next battle. Be sure to let us know about what happens next week and in the future.

Suzanne

GayleMc

Double Whammy said:

It's what we're here for
I'm so sorry you've had a recurrence, but glad you posted. This doggone thing just doesn't react the same way in everyone! It just seems to love to surprise us. I know we're all here for you and will be with you throughout this next battle. Be sure to let us know about what happens next week and in the future.

Suzanne

I am, so sorry about your
I am, so sorry about your news. I feel for all of you who are going through this again. DO NOT worry about scaring us as we all know it can happen to any of us at any time. I look to you brave gals for the strength and grace you show in this fight so I can gain from it if I find myself in the same situation. Bless all of you.

camsgram

I am so very sorry you have
I am so very sorry you have to battle again but as everyone else said, you can do this and we are all here for you day or night (i'm your night gal!)I will be praying for a quick recovery for you and a shorter journey. Stay strong pink sister. Kathie

Balentine

camsgram said:

I am so very sorry you have
I am so very sorry you have to battle again but as everyone else said, you can do this and we are all here for you day or night (i'm your night gal!)I will be praying for a quick recovery for you and a shorter journey. Stay strong pink sister. Kathie

Sending prayers your way MyTurn
It is hard to continue to hear of so many recurrences. One thing is starting to show some commonality...many of the recurrences I am seeing are in those who have had lumpectomies instead of mastectomies. Why do the doctors tell us then that the odds are the same for both to get recurrences? It also seems common that IDC survivors are more likely to get recurrences since the cancer is invasive and alot of the cancer cells have escaped beyond the duct to the breast tissue. HOwever, they told me that the cancer would go to the lymph nodes first and if all of your lymph nodes were clear then it should be just contained in the breast tissue. Well.....who really knows the truth? Only God Himself it seems.

I will be praying for you as you begin another battle. Please stay strong in the Lord and know He is with you through this to guide you and give you His peace, strength and comfort.Many hugs and prayers.
Lorrie

cindycflynn

I'm right here with you
my sweet ornament sister.

I don't think you can scare any of us any more than we already are. We all know that the beast is a sneaky little devil and we all strive to balance our lives between being ever-vigilant and "normalcy" in whatever form that comes to be for us.

You know we have your back and you can always find support here. As others have said, don't second guess yourself. You made the best decision for you at the time. If we knew what was ahead for us we might make different choices, but life doesn't give us that luxury.

My heart goes out to you now as your gird yourself once again to go into the fray just when you were hoping to keep dancing with NED (he is a bit fickle sometimes, isn't he?)

((((HUGE HUGS))))
Cindy

aysemari

There's no rhyme or reason
why someone just has a lumpectomy and is good for life
and another person had the whole she bang and is faced
with the beast again. Till we learn more about this disease
it is like shooting in the dark.

Don't feel bad for the decision you made, I can almost
guarantee you that 90 % of doctors would stand by your
decision.

This time around you will be even stronger knowing
what to expect and you will take charge of your treatment.
Follow your gut and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I love reading your input, you seem like such a lively person.
Just wish you didn't have go through this again.

I can't describe to you and all my other pink sisters what a big
part of my treatment you have been. This site was the best thing
that happened to me since cancer. And I hope that you will continue
to make us part of your treatment.

I will look for your updates and hold your hand through it all
if you let me, I promise.

Ayse

TraciInLA

aysemari said:

There's no rhyme or reason
why someone just has a lumpectomy and is good for life
and another person had the whole she bang and is faced
with the beast again. Till we learn more about this disease
it is like shooting in the dark.

Don't feel bad for the decision you made, I can almost
guarantee you that 90 % of doctors would stand by your
decision.

This time around you will be even stronger knowing
what to expect and you will take charge of your treatment.
Follow your gut and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I love reading your input, you seem like such a lively person.
Just wish you didn't have go through this again.

I can't describe to you and all my other pink sisters what a big
part of my treatment you have been. This site was the best thing
that happened to me since cancer. And I hope that you will continue
to make us part of your treatment.

I will look for your updates and hold your hand through it all
if you let me, I promise.

Ayse

You know I'm right here next to you with the others
MyTurn, I'm glad you decided to let us share this fight with you -- that's what we're all here to do for each other. Please keep us posted on how things are going and -- most importantly -- what we can do to make things any easier.

Traci

Tux

MTN, so sorry to hear your
MTN, so sorry to hear your news. My thoughts & prayers are with you. Let us know how everything goes... Hugs..

lynn1950

Please feel that it is
Please feel that it is always OK to post. You are such a caring person and you already have given so much. Now we are here to support you and give you strength during Round 2. xoxoxo Lynn

meena1

lynn1950 said:

Please feel that it is
Please feel that it is always OK to post. You are such a caring person and you already have given so much. Now we are here to support you and give you strength during Round 2. xoxoxo Lynn

Oh, my. I just do not know
Oh, my. I just do not know what to say. As you know, I have also had a reoccurence also. I know what a shock this is to you and your family. This just reaffirms that we still need to keep up with follow up care and listen to our bodies. I am back in chemo, it stinks but I am still doing what I did before. This time it is not as scary to me, i know what to expect. Well, I guess we can go through this together, right now i am dealing with losing my hair again! It is so stinking hot and I have to wear a wig or hat. Please take care

Scotch Freckles

Yellow Roses To You
Breath in the fragrence of the Roses and relax as best as you can. As we all learned early, it was totally out of our control, EXCEPT our tenacity to know there is NO TIME for this c_ _ _. Take that beast by the tail and toss it straight to H_ _ _....