Simulation done today

Mariannemm

Just got home from my simulation! Got my tattoo's, marked up and pictures too! I have never had a tattoo and now I know I won't ever get one. Just those 3 marks are killing me. I was so emotional after the appointment. When I have pain now it just puts me through the roof with my emotions. I am soooo tired of being poked and hurting. The other issue is on am on Tamoxifen too, that doesn't help my emotions. Just left the onc a message that I need something to calm my emotions and help with the pain in my hips and knees. I left in 30 minutes for an ultra-sound on my uterus. I had my annual exam last week and she didn't like the way my uterus felt. She said it is extra large. I would love it if they said let's just take it all out. I am 45 and done using it so it would be fine with me. Please the worry of cancer showing up there worries me. I start my radiation on Sunday. I know it won't be a big deal after going through 6 months of chemo, but it is something new and these days I can't seem to keep my emotions together anymore. I used to be so strong and now I am weepy all the time. ugh! I am sure my family is getting tired of me! Thanks for listening, Marianne

canoegirl

Hang in there!
Hang in there Marianne! I'm about where you are. Had my simulation a couple of weeks ago (took last week off to leave town) and I will never have a tattoo! I had my setup today and start Rads tomorrow. When I was on Taxol I was an emotional basket case, but I took sleeping pills for a few days, got some sleep, and I'm better now. Still cry easier than usual, but I'm not openly sobbing like I was. I'm supposed to start on Tamoxifen as soon as I get cleared by the GYN. Having a pelvic ultrasound tomorrow to follow up on a cyst. I'm sure it was nothing, but not looking forward to the US. I see the GYN next week. I'm so tired of trips to the Dr. Seems like they never end! Met a woman today at Rads that had a bottle (the size of a baby bottle) attached to her to give her constant chemo. At least we don't have to walk around with that! She said it wasn't bad, but I know it would drive me nuts!

Good luck with Rads,
Hugs,
Marcy

MNLynn

sending hugs . . .
You have so much going on - please know that I am thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers. Sometimes it just doesn't seem like there is a break at all when we can catch up on some sanity - and maybe even then it wouldn't be possible. Seems like such a whirlwind once we're diagnosed. I hope that knowing we're here for you will give you some reassurance and help you catch your breath. I think most of us have been on that emotional roller coaster - I know I feel like I'm going through the crying thing again - so just know that you are not alone.

I finished rads in May . . . had 27 treatments . . . I had wonderful nurses working with me. My skin did get burned some, but I kept Aquaphor or Aloe Vera on it and did ok (did use some prescription pain meds toward the end of treatments). Amazingly, my skin healed faster than I would have imagined once I was done.

Hope you will do ok with the rads . . . it is hard with one thing after another coming at you. But I think it helps to talk about it - like you've done - and remember that so many are with you in spirit.

♥ Lynn ♥

sea60

I'm with you in Spirit
Marianne, I sooo hear you about hating to be poked and prodded. I mentioned it here before, I used to liken myself to the story book I used to read to the kids about the Ginger Bread boy. He would leap up and run and run yelling "Catch me if you can!" Girl, I don't know how many times I wanted to bust outta that examining room and just run away. I would tell my sister when I had that "Ginger Bread Boy" feeling and that would make us laugh...for the moment.

I try to use those visuals to make myself laugh. When I had recontructive surgery and had drains and sutures everywhere, I remember being sprawled on the bed with all the cotton, gauze, bandages and everything else laid out that I thought...Wow, this must be how it feels to be a fillet fish!

Then my latest surgery last year was a complete hysterectomy because the Tamoxifen was thickening the lining of my uterus so, fed up I told the doc take everything out but the kitchen sink...I want to be hollowed out like a pumpkin! So I told him he could put a candle in there after he carved me out...it may be silly but a little humor helps.

My prayers are with you for strength and comfort and I'm giving you a big cyber hug!

God Bless,
Sylvia

VickiSam

sea60 said:

I'm with you in Spirit
Marianne, I sooo hear you about hating to be poked and prodded. I mentioned it here before, I used to liken myself to the story book I used to read to the kids about the Ginger Bread boy. He would leap up and run and run yelling "Catch me if you can!" Girl, I don't know how many times I wanted to bust outta that examining room and just run away. I would tell my sister when I had that "Ginger Bread Boy" feeling and that would make us laugh...for the moment.

I try to use those visuals to make myself laugh. When I had recontructive surgery and had drains and sutures everywhere, I remember being sprawled on the bed with all the cotton, gauze, bandages and everything else laid out that I thought...Wow, this must be how it feels to be a fillet fish!

Then my latest surgery last year was a complete hysterectomy because the Tamoxifen was thickening the lining of my uterus so, fed up I told the doc take everything out but the kitchen sink...I want to be hollowed out like a pumpkin! So I told him he could put a candle in there after he carved me out...it may be silly but a little humor helps.

My prayers are with you for strength and comfort and I'm giving you a big cyber hug!

God Bless,
Sylvia

This is a very emotional time for you ..
please take it 1 day at a time .. and you will get thru Rad's.


Good Luck ..

Vicki Sam

Mariannemm

Thank you!
You all always give me strenght and make me laugh! I really don't know how I could get through all of this without talking to you ladies! No results back yet on all the tests yesterday, should know something on Wednesday. Marianne

carkris

Mariannemm said:

Thank you!
You all always give me strenght and make me laugh! I really don't know how I could get through all of this without talking to you ladies! No results back yet on all the tests yesterday, should know something on Wednesday. Marianne

Before my mastectomy on the
Before my mastectomy on the right side I was having biopsies. I woke up during and told the surgeon "why dont you just put a zipper in it?" I hate going to cdocs, tests etc... sometimes I want to run away but I still have to take my body with me. rads was fine for me, I used aquaphor ahead of time. I got red toward the end but didnt even peel and I have light skin. I didnt like the tattoo as there is a dot in the middle of my chest, if I had known that i would have told them to do something else. good luck, there are lots of things to help you.