My wife and her Greek Chicken Recipe.....True Story...well most of it.......

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Buzzard
Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Well, it all started when she tells me she needs to lose weight....ok, I agreed, and well automatically I am an **** for saying something like that...can't win, oh well, so she decides shes gonna start eating better and be more selective about what she cooks...so she gets into the kitchen and off she goes, get me this and hand me that and whatever she is concocting is actually looking pretty tasty...Its a whole chicken in a broiling pan that has spices over it and lemon slices shoved up under its skin for some reason...its innards are stuffed with rice pilaf (sp) and the whole thing goes into the oven for X amount of time..Theres where the problem starts..She serves it and tells me to cut it so as to distribute it to each of the children to eat and when I cut into the leg it starts to bleed..automatic gasps from the kids..and her...she tells me that she is going to stick it in the microwave and cook it for 10 minutes to get it done....all it does is coagulate the blood that is still trying to run out of it...The 2nd time she tries to nuke it I tell the 16 year old to take it to the fence and throw it over and make sure the dog does not get it...Shes kinda upset at this point but I try and tell her that it will be fine, we'll just fill up on tea...LOL...Well, the next morning when I leave for work I notice that there is a coyote sitting by the chicken that we threw over the fence and he wasn't eating the chicken but he was licking his butt...I get to work and call the wife and tell her that I saw a coyote by the driveway and she asked why would he be sitting there ? I told her that all I could figure was that when he got a bite of the Greek Chicken that it tasted so bad he had to lick his **** for an hour just to get the taste out of his mouth..........she ain't spoke to me going on 2 days now...

.............ain't love grand.......

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  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Couldn't be
    This has to be a made up story! I can't believe you'd be so harsh to your wife!

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
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    tootsie1 said:

    Couldn't be
    This has to be a made up story! I can't believe you'd be so harsh to your wife!

    *hugs*
    Gail

    well the coyote was kinda made up......
    it was actually the neighbors dog....and he passed away 2 days later.....most likely food poisoning.....
  • khl8
    khl8 Member Posts: 807
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    Buzzard said:

    well the coyote was kinda made up......
    it was actually the neighbors dog....and he passed away 2 days later.....most likely food poisoning.....

    And how's the black eye?????
    And how's the black eye????? LOL
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
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    khl8 said:

    And how's the black eye?????
    And how's the black eye????? LOL

    Buzz, I laughed so hard!
    Buzz, I laughed so hard! That was a wonderful laugh!!! I shared it with my husband and he said that is the funniest thing he has heard in a long time. Thanks for brightening our day!!!

    Lizzy
  • Unknown
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    Buzz, I laughed so hard!
    Buzz, I laughed so hard! That was a wonderful laugh!!! I shared it with my husband and he said that is the funniest thing he has heard in a long time. Thanks for brightening our day!!!

    Lizzy

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
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    Buzz,
    I had you pegged as

    Buzz,

    I had you pegged as such a smart man.... I think there is a law/rule or a guideline, at least here in Canada, that a MAN must NEVER tell a woman that she needs to lose weight, even if he is only agreeing with what the woman has said. Consequences are deep, as you have found out.

    Anyway, your story is seriously funny,; I think you should write + tell stories for a living.
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
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    AnneCan said:

    Buzz,
    I had you pegged as

    Buzz,

    I had you pegged as such a smart man.... I think there is a law/rule or a guideline, at least here in Canada, that a MAN must NEVER tell a woman that she needs to lose weight, even if he is only agreeing with what the woman has said. Consequences are deep, as you have found out.

    Anyway, your story is seriously funny,; I think you should write + tell stories for a living.

    laughing so hard.....
    Buzzard!

    I make that chicken and it's really good, just add some Rosemary with the lemon! I don't put rice in it, but it's an idea! lol

    When a whole chicken is not done, open it from the back, spread it, and broil it for about 5 minutes butt side up.
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
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    haha
    Pretty funny- now... IS it a true story??!! What part??!!

    You go and be nice to your wife, now! :)

    Lisa
  • pluckey
    pluckey Member Posts: 484 Member
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    OMG...LOL
    I just spewed my drink alll over...your are freaking hilarious!!!!!

    Peggy
  • Happyhar
    Happyhar Member Posts: 49
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    She messed up with the rice
    She really messed up with the rice. My ex, one time did this exact recipe only it called for a handfull of unpoped popcorn stuffed into the cavity and the oven turned to 500 deg for 15 min. It was the hit of the season, every little speck of it.
  • Paula G.
    Paula G. Member Posts: 596
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    Great story !! Thanks for
    Great story !! Thanks for the laugh
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
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    you owe me a laptop
    cuz I spewed tea all over it.

    You've gotta be nice to the wife. If she ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!!

    Go make up, now. :)
  • Kerry S
    Kerry S Member Posts: 606 Member
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    What is it with woman and chicken?
    Buzz,
    What is it with woman and chicken? Woman don’t want to make man food like chicken and dumplings or the standard man food, fried chicken. They just want to mess with it in some screwy way. Men want gravy not lemonade on their food.

    We have a “feeding rock” behind the house. I have watched raccoons walk away from some of Susie’s food scraps with a look of what the hell was that on their little faces.

    Kerry
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
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    Kerry S said:

    What is it with woman and chicken?
    Buzz,
    What is it with woman and chicken? Woman don’t want to make man food like chicken and dumplings or the standard man food, fried chicken. They just want to mess with it in some screwy way. Men want gravy not lemonade on their food.

    We have a “feeding rock” behind the house. I have watched raccoons walk away from some of Susie’s food scraps with a look of what the hell was that on their little faces.

    Kerry

    Awww
    I Can't believe you did that to your poor wife Buzzy! She ought to slap you upside the head! I know I would have! LOL!

    That story gave me such a much needed laugh, I really love ya bro, keep 'em coming! even though you're an old grump, your spirit will always be as sweet as honey, we know what a teddy bear you really are :)

    Hugsssss my brother,

    ~Sis
  • Aud
    Aud Member Posts: 479 Member
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    Buzzard said:

    well the coyote was kinda made up......
    it was actually the neighbors dog....and he passed away 2 days later.....most likely food poisoning.....

    HILARIOUS!
    Clift, ya got me rollin'
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
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    Shayenne said:

    Awww
    I Can't believe you did that to your poor wife Buzzy! She ought to slap you upside the head! I know I would have! LOL!

    That story gave me such a much needed laugh, I really love ya bro, keep 'em coming! even though you're an old grump, your spirit will always be as sweet as honey, we know what a teddy bear you really are :)

    Hugsssss my brother,

    ~Sis

    I checked the mail this morning.........
    ........it was a sympathy card from the coyote. :) ........ya'll have a great weekend..Love to all of ya,Buzz
  • ktlcs
    ktlcs Member Posts: 358
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    Buzzard said:

    I checked the mail this morning.........
    ........it was a sympathy card from the coyote. :) ........ya'll have a great weekend..Love to all of ya,Buzz

    LMAO
    This was a GREAT story..but the question is...are you still sleeping on the couch?
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
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    Buzz
    Haven't you guys learned, questions like "do I need to lose weight" or "does this outfit make me look fat" are questions that should be answered with "no, you look just perfect to me".

    Oh, let us know when the black and blue marks on you are gone and you are let back in the marital bed........

    Thanks for the laugh

    Tina