Did you have a feeling?
meena1
Member Posts: 1,003
Before you were diagnosed with cancer, did you have a feeling that something was wrong, even before you found the lump or had any symptoms. Was there something nagging at you that the sky was about to fall down on you? Did you wake up to a black aura and a feeling of dread? Did you dream of sitting in a doctor office while he told you that they do not know if there is anything they can do for you? Did you google "swollen breast" one morning, and Inflammatory breast cancer came up, and you just knew that was what you had? Did you wake up one morning and feel like you were 10 years old again..you could feel the summer heat as you ran out the door in your bobos to play doubledutch, or sit in a kiddie pool, your childhood running before you like a black and white film? When you were diagnosed, did you think about blueberry pancakes and speghetti and meatballs, your fave foods? Were you like "hey, something is not right" or were you totally in the dark? Did you see the curtain blowing in the breeze and felt a total peace come over you? You see, i had these things happen to me, so i want to know if you had any psycic or gut feelings. As always, my prayers are with you.
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Comments
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Yes....
My family has always joked about me having some type of psychic connection (not that I put much stock in that so I won't get into the "why's"). I was with my family over Christmas and my sister and I got into an argument about health care insurance - my statement was that there is something wrong when someone gets cancer and they have to worry about whether to get treatment or eat. My mammogram was a couple of days later - had many before but and they never really bothered me but I was just anxious, out of sorts, and impatient. That was the beginning. All of my docs felt I had a very low probability of any node involvement but my gut said otherwise and I tried to prepare my daughter. When I went for my PET scan, I was absolutely terrified and then I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said "Fear Not...." That somehow calmed me and I just said it as a mantra the whole time they were doing the test and it came out well.
It looks like you may certainly be more "sensitive" than I am but I do believe that we sometimes "know" or "sense" things we should not logically know...I do not bet on being right when I get these feelings but I am also rarely surprised.
Best wishes, Meena!0 -
Wow, Meena! In a word, the
Wow, Meena! In a word, the answer to all of your questions, for me anyway, is NO! lol
I found a walnut sized lump on my breast while showering, I called my sister in law who was a chemo RN, I called my primary physician that same day~ and from there...bam! bam! bam!
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
No, I never had a feeling orchenheart said:Wow, Meena! In a word, the
Wow, Meena! In a word, the answer to all of your questions, for me anyway, is NO! lol
I found a walnut sized lump on my breast while showering, I called my sister in law who was a chemo RN, I called my primary physician that same day~ and from there...bam! bam! bam!
Hugs,
Chen♥
No, I never had a feeling or felt anything was wrong with me at all. I just had the mammogram and the microcalcifications showed up, alerting the techs that something might be wrong. And, it was unfortunately.
But, I am sure some have a feeling that something is wrong.
Great post Meena!0 -
Meena, I also have to say
Meena, I also have to say "no". I felt my lump after exercising and called my primary care doctor. I really thought that based on my family history of no breast cancer and both my mother and younger sister had fibrocystic breasts that I would be the same. Well, it wasn't the same and my past year is proof of that (lumpectomy, chemo & rads).0 -
As for me
I knew something was wrong. I actually almost delayed my check up for months.
Because I was having a rough year due to a reaction I was having to the A/C at
work. I was on antibiotics for almost 8 months. It was such a bad year for me
I figured nothing good could come out of it.
But in the end I just felt I could not delay this. The lump grew so fast and
became really hard. It no longer moved. I got worried.
And TADA - my horrible year ended with a Bang!
Ayse0 -
Didn't have a clue
Mine was found on a routine mammo, and even after the mammo I had a hard time feeling any lump.
Even when they called me back to ask me to come in for a second look, I was sure it was just due to my dense breast tissue (they had asked for a second look about 6 years before and even did a Fine Needle Biopsy, which turned out to be a cyst). However, once I came back and after the second look they wanted to do an ultrasound and then two core biopsies, I did start to get scared. Even though they never said anything, something about the way they were talking to me just put fear in my heart. I had to call my boss because I was due to be in a meeting and hadn't allowed for all the extra testing, and I could barely get the words out to her and just started crying. They called me 2 days later and said that 1 of the biopsies was benign (fortunately that was the larger of the 2 masses) but the other was malignant. By that time I was sort of expecting it.0 -
Yes, I had a feeling
Yes, I had a feeling something was wrong, even though nothing definitive showed on the mammo. I mean that there was a tenderness in my breast that didn't feel right - not anything psychic. Finally, two years later I was diagnosed at Stage III. So, listen to those feelings. xoxoxo Lynn0 -
Never thought it could be cancerMarcia527 said:Yes
I had some strange thoughts and things happen but didn't associate it with breast cancer till I found it. Also something happened years before when I was just 18 but didn't connect the dots. Maybe it's better that way. Not to know what the future is.
I was one who was very mis-informed about cancer. I had always thought...if it doesn't run in your family then you probably don't need to worry about it. My husband actually felt the lump about 5 months before I finally went to get it checked. I kept telling him that I get cysts all the time...I had one cut out of my leg and one from my chest and I still have one in my wrist but they always came back benign. I did not realize that having one in your breast was totally different. I thought it was a fibroid and I kept saying...it will go away....well after 5 months when it did not I had a mammogram but it was more on the side of my breast so the mammogram did not even pick it up. So after the mammogram I showed them the lump....they felt it and did an ultrasound and said...yes...it looks like something we need to biopsy...the next week they did...they said I would know the results in 3-4 days...i forgot about it for the next few days...thinking nothing of it...the 3rd day I remembered and said...well let me call and get this over with and hear them say it is ok...well the nurse came back to the phone and said...yes...they did find cancer. This was 4:30 in the afternoon and that is all I knew. My husband broke down and we endured an agonizing time until we were able to hear from the doctor several days later. However, I do recall riding to work in the mornings some days talking to God and saying, God you have blessed me beyond measure in my life but I just felt something was about to hit the fan because my life has been too good to be true and go so well for this long. I did feel something was about to go down but did not know what it was God was preparing me for. I am thankful that my time is in HIS hands and that He directs and unfolds what happens in my life. I may get in my worry mode some days...probably more days than I should...but in the end we HAVE to drop our hands to our sides and rest in HIM. We can do what we can and be proactive but in the end, He decides our fate because He made us and we are not our own...we belong to Him. Trust HIM.
Lorrie0 -
In a nutshell. yeah I did.
In a nutshell. yeah I did. I knew since a child that one day I would have breast cancer (no-one in our family has ever had it). I 'thought' it would be when I was in my sixties not forties. So the diagnosis was no surprise at all. I knew for two years something was wrong in my body and went repeatedly to the doctor but they found nothing. Everyone, family and friends down played my complaints about something just not being right in my body, atributed it to anxiety and other psychological factors. I felt my body just battling despite.
I also knew how I was about stage 3 before I got that diagnosis, I also intuitively felt I need to go the western medical route for treatment ( I grew up on Chinese Medicine) and even through I am not done with chemo I feel I no longer have breast cancer in my body. I also feel that I need to complete all treatment.
All through this cancer, I have listened to my body and eaten according to what feels right or what I am drawn to. I have been vegetarian most of my life and throughout chemo have been eating meat several times a week and something feels 'right' about this.
I also knew that this is something I needed to go through and it has taught me so much.0 -
Not me - Life was perfect
I had not a clue - I had no problems, my life was great - I was in perfect health, I just turned 50 - felt better than I've ever felt in my life. My husband and i were participating in 5K - I went to the gym regularly - I had just found out my daughter was pregnant with our first grandchild. I was praising the Lord all over the place for a such a wonderful life. I had no problems. I even told my co-worker that this is gonna be the best year ever. - Then BAm !!!!!! It hit me like a ton of bricks. As close as my family was and didn't think we could get any closer, my breast cancer has brought us even closer. I have this different Love for my husband that I never had before. And he for me. But I promised God I wouldn't play the pitty game or blame Him. I promised to Praise Him through it all. That doesn't mean I don't have my days, oh I do and I have cried and so has my family. But I have a peace that God is in control and I will be ok. Yes, sometimes I get scared - heck, I'm only human but I will keep my eyes on Him. Satan wanted to ruin my wonderful life and rob me of my joy of being a grandmother but I won't let him. God wins !!!!
thank you for letting me share..
Kelly0 -
Well, Mariam..your postmariam_11_09 said:In a nutshell. yeah I did.
In a nutshell. yeah I did. I knew since a child that one day I would have breast cancer (no-one in our family has ever had it). I 'thought' it would be when I was in my sixties not forties. So the diagnosis was no surprise at all. I knew for two years something was wrong in my body and went repeatedly to the doctor but they found nothing. Everyone, family and friends down played my complaints about something just not being right in my body, atributed it to anxiety and other psychological factors. I felt my body just battling despite.
I also knew how I was about stage 3 before I got that diagnosis, I also intuitively felt I need to go the western medical route for treatment ( I grew up on Chinese Medicine) and even through I am not done with chemo I feel I no longer have breast cancer in my body. I also feel that I need to complete all treatment.
All through this cancer, I have listened to my body and eaten according to what feels right or what I am drawn to. I have been vegetarian most of my life and throughout chemo have been eating meat several times a week and something feels 'right' about this.
I also knew that this is something I needed to go through and it has taught me so much.
Well, Mariam..your post makes me at least feel not so crazy. Sometimes, it is just a feeling.0 -
Yes and no
BTW Meena, that was lovely. Since my teenage years, I have always thought my breasts were among my best physical features. In my twenties, I started getting this intermittant weird feeling. I would look at myself getting dressed in the mirror and think, "you're not going to get to keep them." I always had a feeling I would get breast cancer.
However, when I actually felt the large lump that grew up overnight, I was certain it WASN'T cancer. So much so that I went smiling and laughing to my mammo and biopsy. All the doctors were stunned at how cheerful I was. Well, I was wrong.
Mimi0 -
Yes I did
For a few years I knew that something wasn't right with me and several visits to the doctor and several tests later....nothing was wrong.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought breast cancer. Cancer I did think of but figured lung because a lot of family members have lung issues. Hadn't had a mammo in five years ( to the shagrin of my doctor) who finally gave me an ultimatum and she saved my life.0 -
Nope, not at all...
To answer your question... No, I didn't think anything was wrong with me. Cancer doesn't run in my family and I was young, exercised, and took care of myself. I was stunned when the oncologist gave us the results.
I have to tell you this... my marriage, sex life, and outlook at life has changed. My husband and I have a better, healthier marriage. Incredible as it sounds. I love my daughter immensely and want to see her grow up to be a fine young woman and mother. And... as a fellow Sister in Pink once shared... I now have a lower tolerance for Bull@#$&!
I don't look back. The past is history. I march forward and live one day at a time. I have an appreciation for life in all its fullness. I have met some amazing people along my journey and count myself blessed.
My best to you on your journey.
BL0 -
I could not even imagineppurdin said:Feeling.
Its the first time in my life I did not feel like something was wrong being Cancer.The Dr. had told me she was sure it was fine.So then I blocked it out and thought I was fine.It was the shock of my life.I usually have a feeling about things.
I had flu-like symptoms and stomach problems during that winter, but could not put pieces together. My diagnosis have been shocking to me.
However two months prior, I had several weird dreams. In my dream or nightmares I saw my deceased relatives and was going to make a visit or trip together. I saw my father who died 10 years ago. In my dream My father, my son and I were going to go to the Zoo. My son was so slow, played with his toys, and could not get dressed. My father left without us. What a strange dream I sought. Another time in my dream, I saw my grandparent, it was the similar story. They were waiting for my family to go together on a bus tour. My son was slow and my grandparents and tour bus left without us.0 -
the first time no. theLighthouse_7 said:Yes I did
For a few years I knew that something wasn't right with me and several visits to the doctor and several tests later....nothing was wrong.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought breast cancer. Cancer I did think of but figured lung because a lot of family members have lung issues. Hadn't had a mammo in five years ( to the shagrin of my doctor) who finally gave me an ultimatum and she saved my life.
the first time no. the second primary. I wonder. I was actively looking for a propholactic mastectomy and it kept nagging at me. docs said no hurry so I thought I would do it in the fall (last fall) in the spring (prior)felt a lump, which did not show up on mammo.but I fwlt very disturbed about it. so a part of me wonders if my subconcious was telling me something.0 -
Symptoms before diagnosisNew Flower said:I could not even imagine
I had flu-like symptoms and stomach problems during that winter, but could not put pieces together. My diagnosis have been shocking to me.
However two months prior, I had several weird dreams. In my dream or nightmares I saw my deceased relatives and was going to make a visit or trip together. I saw my father who died 10 years ago. In my dream My father, my son and I were going to go to the Zoo. My son was so slow, played with his toys, and could not get dressed. My father left without us. What a strange dream I sought. Another time in my dream, I saw my grandparent, it was the similar story. They were waiting for my family to go together on a bus tour. My son was slow and my grandparents and tour bus left without us.
You know, now that you mention it NF, I had strange symptoms right before diagnosis, too. I was really fatigued and therefore thought I might be depressed so I asked my doctor for anti-depressants. I also had a week-long bout where I would throw up every single night. It was really weird. And also, this is going to be TMI, but my libido went crazy a month before diagnosis. I mean I was feeling out of control. LOL. Now I'm embarrassed. However, I do think these things were physical signs of what was to come.
Mimi0
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