Waiting For Surgery

hopeful and optimistic

ejn said:

Hopeful
I am 53 and in decent shape but I have recently lost 20lbs and I have no idea why. Although I could stand to lose a few more I am certainly not trying or dieting. I did consider active surviellance but at my age I decided surgery was best for me and the thought of this inside of me and doing nothing about it just did not work for me. I do believe that if I was 10 years older I would have not opted surgery though. Sometimes all of this just gets so overwhelming and confusing and this site has helped me greatly.

Thanks to All,

Ed

There is a very big difference between surgeons who do
robotic surgery............the number of operations previously performed is a large factor.........tell us about your surgeon..............Ira

chitown

ejn said:

Chitown, I read your post and it sounds like all is going well for you. Like you, the wait is driving me crazy. I am 53 and active but I am not on any exercise program at this time. It sounds like your physical condition is contributing greatly to your recovery and if my wife reads any of this I am sure I will be exercising as soon as I get home tonight. Please keep us posted on the recovery.

Ed

Exercise regemen
I focused on only 3 areas needing toning for surgery

1. Pelvic - breast stroke swimming 3-4 time a weeks doing laps for 30 mins
2. Core - crunches, dumbell, machine at gym. 3-4 times a week for 30 - 45 mins
3. Cardio - Uphill mountain hike or climber at gym. 2 - 3 time a week 45-75 mins.

For me the physical part was easy..now during the post surgery contemplation I have found small gaps in mental strength during this past cycle that I am motivated to take care of for any future need. Yoga, meditation..here I come!!

Good luck and best wishes

ejn

1 week to go and I am
1 week to go and I am starting to get nervous. Im not sure if it is nervs or anxiety but I just want to go to sleep right now and wake up in the recovery room with a great path report in my lap when I open my eyes. Of course I know it is not going to happen that way, but it would be nice wouldnt it? I'm going to spend this weekend making sure I have everything ready at home. I have an appointment monday with my GP to get a letter stating I am fit for surgery. Tuesday I will leave work early and start the internal pipe cleaning process and hopefully get some sleep for my 6 am appointment Wednesday with the big machine. Through my reading on this and other forums I have a very good idea of what to expect when I get on the other side. I am very thankful to everyone for all of the information, it has really helped me through this process.

Ed

randy_in_indy

hopeful and optimistic said:

Avodart
What is are some opinions on Avodart for those who are high risk, but have not been diagnosed, like Randy brother and our some of our brothers.

Ira,
You know how you go back and re-read posts here...well I just saw this one about Avodart. What is that? A preventitive prostate cancer drug?

Randy

lewvino

ejn said:

1 week to go and I am
1 week to go and I am starting to get nervous. Im not sure if it is nervs or anxiety but I just want to go to sleep right now and wake up in the recovery room with a great path report in my lap when I open my eyes. Of course I know it is not going to happen that way, but it would be nice wouldnt it? I'm going to spend this weekend making sure I have everything ready at home. I have an appointment monday with my GP to get a letter stating I am fit for surgery. Tuesday I will leave work early and start the internal pipe cleaning process and hopefully get some sleep for my 6 am appointment Wednesday with the big machine. Through my reading on this and other forums I have a very good idea of what to expect when I get on the other side. I am very thankful to everyone for all of the information, it has really helped me through this process.

Ed

Ed,
Good luck on the
Ed,
Good luck on the upcoming surgery. I know the nerves and anxiety can get to you. Take time for your self and family and do something fun together. My surgery was in Nashville so the night before had my last dinner before the clean out drink! My wife and I enjoyed walking around downtown Nashville.

Just think in a few days you will be on the other side 'a cancer survivor!'

Larry

randy_in_indy

ejn said:

1 week to go and I am
1 week to go and I am starting to get nervous. Im not sure if it is nervs or anxiety but I just want to go to sleep right now and wake up in the recovery room with a great path report in my lap when I open my eyes. Of course I know it is not going to happen that way, but it would be nice wouldnt it? I'm going to spend this weekend making sure I have everything ready at home. I have an appointment monday with my GP to get a letter stating I am fit for surgery. Tuesday I will leave work early and start the internal pipe cleaning process and hopefully get some sleep for my 6 am appointment Wednesday with the big machine. Through my reading on this and other forums I have a very good idea of what to expect when I get on the other side. I am very thankful to everyone for all of the information, it has really helped me through this process.

Ed

Ed
Like you I was very greatful for all the help and info I received here prior to my Davinci as it certainly made it much easier taking away some of the unknown. We will all be thinking/praying for you on Wednesday along with the other brothers getting their procedures on 8-11. I have not posted too much lately as I have been very busy with work, family, and building Man Cave#2 at my home...Life is sooooo good with much to look forward to! I hope you have as good a result as mine!

Randy down the road in Indy

chitown

What helped m prepare for surgery
Ed - Visualizing every day prior to surgery, defining what to expect and getting ready for it, plus day of surgery and days/weeks after that got me in better mental state. Understand your anxiety..probably no one around you will understand but it gets better every day you get closer to surgery.

For me the surgery and post surgery experience was better than I expected. The day to day recovery was rapid. Now at 6 weeks I have very little incontinence (coughing, passing gas, while in the airplane causes a small drip, am pain free of any kind, sex is normal at 75% pre surgery erection..with a pill. Got 6 weeks PSA at 0. So the chapter of PCa hopefully is closed.

Wish you all the best and we are all here to make thing positive for you

ejn

chitown said:

What helped m prepare for surgery
Ed - Visualizing every day prior to surgery, defining what to expect and getting ready for it, plus day of surgery and days/weeks after that got me in better mental state. Understand your anxiety..probably no one around you will understand but it gets better every day you get closer to surgery.

For me the surgery and post surgery experience was better than I expected. The day to day recovery was rapid. Now at 6 weeks I have very little incontinence (coughing, passing gas, while in the airplane causes a small drip, am pain free of any kind, sex is normal at 75% pre surgery erection..with a pill. Got 6 weeks PSA at 0. So the chapter of PCa hopefully is closed.

Wish you all the best and we are all here to make thing positive for you

You got that right, nobody
You got that right, nobody around me understands the stress on me. My wife thinks it is all about her and we are in a battle over it right now. I am 6 days from surgery now and most likely on my own with a ride from the hospital and help during recovery. I am not very happy at the moment. Sorry about venting

Ed

lewvino

ejn said:

You got that right, nobody
You got that right, nobody around me understands the stress on me. My wife thinks it is all about her and we are in a battle over it right now. I am 6 days from surgery now and most likely on my own with a ride from the hospital and help during recovery. I am not very happy at the moment. Sorry about venting

Ed

your wife can't help with
your wife can't help with taking you to the hospital? If you need to talk just send an email offline...Would be glad to chat with you on the phone.
larry

chitown

ejn said:

You got that right, nobody
You got that right, nobody around me understands the stress on me. My wife thinks it is all about her and we are in a battle over it right now. I am 6 days from surgery now and most likely on my own with a ride from the hospital and help during recovery. I am not very happy at the moment. Sorry about venting

Ed

Acceptance is the key
Ed - My advise is to let go and lower your expectation. I went thru the same cycle with my wife and found its futile. Your wife is probably fighting her own demons in her own way and consumed in them to give the help you need. You can help her fight her demons so she is better equipped to help you...crazy logic but worked for me! Nobody is in your mind and body but you. My suggestion is to accept the limitations of others. What I did is took control of the planning, defined what needs to be done and told other what to do..my wife, sister, friends and they all did wonderfully supporting the needs.

Post surgery my reflections are really how each of are alone, how fragile is life, and how mind and body are totally separate from each other. Take care and believe me every new day will be a better day!

GolfWi

ejn said:

You got that right, nobody
You got that right, nobody around me understands the stress on me. My wife thinks it is all about her and we are in a battle over it right now. I am 6 days from surgery now and most likely on my own with a ride from the hospital and help during recovery. I am not very happy at the moment. Sorry about venting

Ed

pre-op anxiety
I think all of us have gone through the pre-op anxiety at some level, it's normal. There were days just prior to surgery that I thought I was going to get sick. I had complete confidence in my surgeon (Dr. Catalona/Northwestern)he has done over 5,300 RP's, but I was still nervous. The first few days were rough and the catheter for 11 days sucked, but those days are becoming a distant memory. I am three weeks post-op today and am feeling a lot better than I expected. I needed depends for a couple days after cath out, but have quickly improved to using just 2 small pads a day. I began doing my kegal execises in May when I was diagnosed and continue doing them still, I believe this has really helped with my quick continence recovery. I have a little pain in the groin yet but it's tolerable. I have gone to work for a few hours a couple days this week and am feeling better each day.

I haven't posted many times here but your comment earlier today cought my attention. It would suck to go through this alone and hopefully your wife will come around before surgery. Wheater she is by your side or not I think you have to stay focused on what you need to do to get through this with the best result possible. Do what is best for you right now and worry about the other stuff later if necessary. YOUR life depends on it. I wish you the best and remember it will all soon be a distant memory.

hopeful and optimistic

randy_in_indy said:

Ira,
You know how you go back and re-read posts here...well I just saw this one about Avodart. What is that? A preventitive prostate cancer drug?

Randy

Avodart or Dutasteride
I don't have the study in front of me.........but about a year or two ago there was a study done among men who were not as yet diagnosed with prostate cancer.....they were given this drug, and there was a statistically significant reduction in the development of prostate cancer for those who took the drug.....it was tested on men who had not been diagnosed.

There can be some side effects from the drug among a small percentage of men ......lower libido and sex drive( I think that there are some others, but I don't remember right now}...I read that the drug can be discontinued if this occurs.

The drug is fairly new, so should one take this drug if they have not been diagnosed?...there are various opinions.......the manufacturer does not come out and recommend this, however.....I'm thinking that it's more yes than no for those in a high risk group.

ALSO, what about those men who are on Active Surveillance like me?....I personally spoke to appr. 8 or 9 docs and I have received different answers.....about two of these docs recommend this drugs while the rest do not.......there have been no medical studies done among this group of men. (remember the initial study was done among men who have not been diagnosed)

I have decided to be conservative, and not to do this drug since it is fairly new.......however it is really a $64,000 whether to take or not take the drug.

There is a site Pubmed.com where the results of the study can be found. This will show the results of the study and not be opinionated, as I know this post is.

Ira

YTW

surgery
EJN:

All of us her I'm sure are wishing you the best of luck on your surgery next week. You've done your homework so dont look back. We are lucky to have been diagnosed now instead of 20,10 or even 5 years ago. We have caught "the beast" now and who knows what will be discovered in a few years or even in a few months to improve our outcomes. One thing for certain, by catching it early, we have given ourselves all important time...

lew_in_marietta

ejn said:

You got that right, nobody
You got that right, nobody around me understands the stress on me. My wife thinks it is all about her and we are in a battle over it right now. I am 6 days from surgery now and most likely on my own with a ride from the hospital and help during recovery. I am not very happy at the moment. Sorry about venting

Ed

Ed, chitown is right. It
Ed, chitown is right. It will get better. I'm sure people will surprise you in the days ahead. Good luck with the surgery.

ejn

YTW said:

surgery
EJN:

All of us her I'm sure are wishing you the best of luck on your surgery next week. You've done your homework so dont look back. We are lucky to have been diagnosed now instead of 20,10 or even 5 years ago. We have caught "the beast" now and who knows what will be discovered in a few years or even in a few months to improve our outcomes. One thing for certain, by catching it early, we have given ourselves all important time...

Thanks to everyone for the
Thanks to everyone for the support. I'm sure she will come around before surgery. I am also sure that I am not the easiest person to be around in this situation. I am more of the keep everything to myself type until I know exactly what is going on and how to take care of it. At that point I tend to give orders instead of asking for help. Asking for help is very hard for me but I know it is something that I better get used to because it is beeter to go through this with loved ones rather than alone. I am still in the angry phase and just need to get past this surgery and move on to the next hurrdle.

Ed

lewvino

ejn said:

Thanks to everyone for the
Thanks to everyone for the support. I'm sure she will come around before surgery. I am also sure that I am not the easiest person to be around in this situation. I am more of the keep everything to myself type until I know exactly what is going on and how to take care of it. At that point I tend to give orders instead of asking for help. Asking for help is very hard for me but I know it is something that I better get used to because it is beeter to go through this with loved ones rather than alone. I am still in the angry phase and just need to get past this surgery and move on to the next hurrdle.

Ed

Ed, The 'c' word is scary
Ed, The 'c' word is scary for all involved. I'm sure your wife has fears of what might happen. From your picture it looks like you have a young son also. She most likely is wondering what the future will hold for your family. Hang in there, try and talk to each other openly, ask her about her fears. Yes you are the one with the cancer that will be beaten on Aug. 11th but it affects her and your son also.

My wife and I had some tension before my surgery but when I was able to set down and express my fears to her it helped us both.

My offer is still open if you want to chat. i've sent you my home, work emails and also home and cell numbers.

Larry

ejn

lewvino said:

Ed, The 'c' word is scary
Ed, The 'c' word is scary for all involved. I'm sure your wife has fears of what might happen. From your picture it looks like you have a young son also. She most likely is wondering what the future will hold for your family. Hang in there, try and talk to each other openly, ask her about her fears. Yes you are the one with the cancer that will be beaten on Aug. 11th but it affects her and your son also.

My wife and I had some tension before my surgery but when I was able to set down and express my fears to her it helped us both.

My offer is still open if you want to chat. i've sent you my home, work emails and also home and cell numbers.

Larry

Larry, Sorry I missed your
Larry, Sorry I missed your call last night. I did send you an email this morning. The boy in the pic is my step son, I have 2 boys that are in their late 20's and have talked at length with them. I do have fears and I think you are right about sitting down and expressing them to her. I worry about making her affraid so I tend to keep things to myself. I guess it will be her choice how she reacts and I need to give her that chance. I will take some time this weekend and have a discussion with her, and I think it might be the answer. Her biggest problem is that I dont let her take control of this, but I need to let her know that for my own good I need to be the one in control. Thanks for your help.

Ed

Skid Row Tom

ejn said:

Larry, Sorry I missed your
Larry, Sorry I missed your call last night. I did send you an email this morning. The boy in the pic is my step son, I have 2 boys that are in their late 20's and have talked at length with them. I do have fears and I think you are right about sitting down and expressing them to her. I worry about making her affraid so I tend to keep things to myself. I guess it will be her choice how she reacts and I need to give her that chance. I will take some time this weekend and have a discussion with her, and I think it might be the answer. Her biggest problem is that I dont let her take control of this, but I need to let her know that for my own good I need to be the one in control. Thanks for your help.

Ed

Good luck ejn!
You're on the right track. I'm FIERCELY independent and keep almost everything to myself. One of the best decisions I made through this whole ordeal was to open up. I shared most everything with my co-workers to eliminate "whispering" and "wondering what to say", handled things with humor, and basically included my wife in every step of the process including what to ask the doctor, doing research into the best options, choosing a treatment, discussing my own death, family finances, helping me during rehab, and unfortunately, included her with my loooong ordeal of dealing with incontinence and ED. She has been my most valuable asset. Again I say, YOU don't have cancer. You BOTH have cancer. Last night, she said the best thing I did was allow her to help.

Trew

ejn said:

Larry, Sorry I missed your
Larry, Sorry I missed your call last night. I did send you an email this morning. The boy in the pic is my step son, I have 2 boys that are in their late 20's and have talked at length with them. I do have fears and I think you are right about sitting down and expressing them to her. I worry about making her affraid so I tend to keep things to myself. I guess it will be her choice how she reacts and I need to give her that chance. I will take some time this weekend and have a discussion with her, and I think it might be the answer. Her biggest problem is that I dont let her take control of this, but I need to let her know that for my own good I need to be the one in control. Thanks for your help.

Ed

Have you discussed treatment
Have you discussed treatment options with your wife? My wife seemed to favor surgery. I do know that consequences of treatment are a shared experience. I sure wish we could see down the road a few years and see what the outcome would be before we decide. Not possible so we do the best we can.

My wife has been hit hard by her share of stuff too. I have been on the other side looking at her and wondering if she would survive. Now she is supporting me. I love marriage!

griff 1

ejn said:

1 week to go and I am
1 week to go and I am starting to get nervous. Im not sure if it is nervs or anxiety but I just want to go to sleep right now and wake up in the recovery room with a great path report in my lap when I open my eyes. Of course I know it is not going to happen that way, but it would be nice wouldnt it? I'm going to spend this weekend making sure I have everything ready at home. I have an appointment monday with my GP to get a letter stating I am fit for surgery. Tuesday I will leave work early and start the internal pipe cleaning process and hopefully get some sleep for my 6 am appointment Wednesday with the big machine. Through my reading on this and other forums I have a very good idea of what to expect when I get on the other side. I am very thankful to everyone for all of the information, it has really helped me through this process.

Ed

surgery
let us know how it went ed. goodluck griff