Kathi, Meena, Bj and Chen are like the captains of the football team

Balentine

June 14, 2010 - 11:27am
Kathi, Meena and Chen are like the captains of the football team
I look up to you guys for guidance and for strength because I am just one month out of chemo and just 6 months past my dx. It is like a see-saw for me right now. Some days I am positive and strong and others I am worried and paranoid. Especially when we see recurrences of our captains. However, you all remain so strong and full of a zest for life that I have to tell myself..I want to get there...certainly not by way of a recurrence but by way of adapting to my circumstances...accepting where I am and getting on with my life...living each day to the fullest. Instead I find myself some days running out to do errands, then running home to take my scarf off...hoping my hair will grow and doing research on everything from diet and chances of recurrence to whether I should follow through and take tamoxifen. Some days it consumes me not knowing what to do, what to eat and not eat and where to go from here with further treatment. I pray and ask God for guidance to tell me what to do and not to do and lead me in His will for my life. I am afraid to take tamoxifen because of the chances of problems with my liver and all the other side effects it can have. Initially they told me it would only increase my chance of not having a recurrence by like 9 or 10 percent. Is all the other risks worth that? I know I have asked this before and you all said YES emphatically but I guess I am scared of the unknown and what else this cancer can take from me. Losing my breast was very difficult. I don't want to lose anything else. I am wondering if diet can benefit more than the tamoxifen. Well I am rambling now. ...sorry. In closing I want all 3 of you to know that you are in my prayers and that I admire your strength and will and I know God looks down on you all and your lives and smiles upon you because you all 'get it'...you have come to a point in your lives of reckless abandon and have discarded the negative baggage and only hold on to the things in life that are really important....love, laughter, humility, selflessness, and living life to the fullest extent as if today is your last. Many of us say we are doing that or are striving to do that and struggling to do that but you 3 are there and have arrived and truly living it. God bless you all and thanks for your inspiration and courage. Love always and many hugs,
Lorrie

bjmom1

How to fight BC Battle
Hi Lorrie,

To keep me going is a song by Yolanda Adams. The battle is not your it the Lord. So what I do is give it to him no matter what you going throught remember the battle is not your it the Lord. He only one who can help you get through. Live life think of positive things and let the negative thought go. We all are fearful, but we have to be happy that we was able to wake up and see another day so enjoy that day. I know it hard not to think negative but don't stay there give that negative thought to Lord. And show him you are happy he gave you another day by doing something positive and believe that he will help you fight this battle. Remember whatever you do to help fight this disease God is with you ever step of the way.

God Bless you Huggs from your BC sister

Barbara

BethInAz

bjmom1 said:

How to fight BC Battle
Hi Lorrie,

To keep me going is a song by Yolanda Adams. The battle is not your it the Lord. So what I do is give it to him no matter what you going throught remember the battle is not your it the Lord. He only one who can help you get through. Live life think of positive things and let the negative thought go. We all are fearful, but we have to be happy that we was able to wake up and see another day so enjoy that day. I know it hard not to think negative but don't stay there give that negative thought to Lord. And show him you are happy he gave you another day by doing something positive and believe that he will help you fight this battle. Remember whatever you do to help fight this disease God is with you ever step of the way.

God Bless you Huggs from your BC sister

Barbara

Beautifully Said
Barbara, Thank you for your witness and testimony. The Lord is the One who gives me strength for each day. Our weak human flesh wants to be deceived into thinking things are fearful and without hope at times but you're right in saying that those negative thoughts need to be told to FLEE in the name of our victorious Jesus. He has so much yet in store for us to do on this earth and we will continue to live for as many days as are appointed for each one of us. And then! We'll be totally healed in heaven - with glorified bodies, to boot! Can you imagine?
Hugs to you, Barbara. Peace to you!
Beth

rjjj

bjmom1 said:

How to fight BC Battle
Hi Lorrie,

To keep me going is a song by Yolanda Adams. The battle is not your it the Lord. So what I do is give it to him no matter what you going throught remember the battle is not your it the Lord. He only one who can help you get through. Live life think of positive things and let the negative thought go. We all are fearful, but we have to be happy that we was able to wake up and see another day so enjoy that day. I know it hard not to think negative but don't stay there give that negative thought to Lord. And show him you are happy he gave you another day by doing something positive and believe that he will help you fight this battle. Remember whatever you do to help fight this disease God is with you ever step of the way.

God Bless you Huggs from your BC sister

Barbara

thank you Barbara
That was a perfect thought for my day and so beautifully written. God bless you.
Jackie