Just lost my mom today

AKAngel

She had been quickly fading away the past couple of months, and then even faster in the past few weeks. We got her back on hospice just on the 6th, and by the 9th they told us that she only had 4-5 days left. We got in contact with all the family and put them on notice that very day and settled in to wait out the term. We, my dad and I, spent time praying with her, and letting her know it was okay to go on to the other side, that many of our family members, including both sets of my grandparents, her brother and sister-in-law, were already waiting to take her in their arms and help her into Heaven's graces. She got to see all the grandkids that she could, and while she was still cognitive enough to do so. Our hospice nurse at the end was a wonderful lady and gave my dad and I all the time we needed to talk and get used to Mom's parting. She was struggling to get good breaths there at the end, so my dad and I were relieved that she is no longer suffering on this Earth. But we do believe she died peacefully none the less, though the little stinker waited until I was in my room for a half hour before she left us, but my dad was right beside her. My sister had come over yesterday and helped me to decide on the outfit she'd be wearing for her cremation, so that was a big help. While Dad made phone calls to the family, I washed and dressed my mom as best I could until the hospice nurse came to help me finish. I had looked at urns at the funeral home on Friday, and told my dad I thought that not only were they expensive (which may sound tacky to say, but we live on a limited income) but they were all very generic. So I had his blessing to go look at the local pottery places and see if I could find something more unique and special for Mom. I picked out a vase, got a lid, and created a design: a yellow rose since that was her favorite flower and a shamrock made out of the cancer ribbon for liver cancer, which I did in a sort of Celtic knotwork because of Mom's Irish heritage, with a cross and 'in loving memory of...'. It'll be painted ocean blue, for Mom's love of the ocean. We will have a memorial service on the weekend so that anyone who wants to can fly in to pay their respects.
To quote Forrest Gump..."And that's all I have to say about that."

whichwitch

So sorry to hear this. You
So sorry to hear this. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers today. My sister is on hospice and now on oxygen 24/7. So I know what it has been for you. Sending lots of cyber hugs your way.

Barbara53

thinking of you, a lot
I'm sorry to hear of your loss, but it was your mother's gain after all. Like you, I am sure she is in a better place now, no suffering or trouble. I'm startled, too, to see how fast things can change. My mother is still hanging in, but getting weirder by the day. The next few weeks will be interesting.

After seeing some of your recent posts I've been thinking of you, a lot. Isn't it strange how much there is to learn in this process? At this point I'm more amazed than sad. Wishing you a good grief. There really is such a thing.

AKAngel

Barbara53 said:

thinking of you, a lot
I'm sorry to hear of your loss, but it was your mother's gain after all. Like you, I am sure she is in a better place now, no suffering or trouble. I'm startled, too, to see how fast things can change. My mother is still hanging in, but getting weirder by the day. The next few weeks will be interesting.

After seeing some of your recent posts I've been thinking of you, a lot. Isn't it strange how much there is to learn in this process? At this point I'm more amazed than sad. Wishing you a good grief. There really is such a thing.

Sigh....
It is a miracle in itself, much like birth, where there are always surprises and things to make you laugh and cry, and reflect on the mysteries of life. My prayers go out to you, Barbara, it's going to be a wild ride. And yes, there is such a thing as 'good grief'....I know this because Charlie Brown says it all the time.....
((((hugs))))

AKAngel

whichwitch said:

So sorry to hear this. You
So sorry to hear this. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers today. My sister is on hospice and now on oxygen 24/7. So I know what it has been for you. Sending lots of cyber hugs your way.

The great connection
Death and suffering....we all reach out to each other here and pray and help. I hope for your sister to have peace, and for you to have it, knowing she has achieved it. Thanks for the hugs....right back at 'cha.
((((hugs))))

grandmafay

Sorry
I am very sorry for your loss. You can find some peace in knowing that you did your best for her. Fay

Tina Blondek

AKAngel said:

Sigh....
It is a miracle in itself, much like birth, where there are always surprises and things to make you laugh and cry, and reflect on the mysteries of life. My prayers go out to you, Barbara, it's going to be a wild ride. And yes, there is such a thing as 'good grief'....I know this because Charlie Brown says it all the time.....
((((hugs))))

My Deepest Sympathies
Hello my dear friend Angel
God bless you and your dad and family at this most difficult time. I have been wondering where you have been. I am so glad that your mom went peacefully and was able to have family around her. It is so important when you get to this stage of the journey to let the person know it is ok to leave. It is great that you and dad gave her your blessing. Glad you sister was there to help you as well. Now your mom and my dad are in the kingdom of God. Living there for eternity, with no pain, no suffering, no sickness. I can not wait until we see them again! Stay in touch. Hugs to you and dad, you did a wonderful job taking care of her in her time of need.
Tina

AKAngel

grandmafay said:

Sorry
I am very sorry for your loss. You can find some peace in knowing that you did your best for her. Fay

Thank you
It still feels odd knowing Mom's not around anymore....It comes back to reality at the weirdest times.

grandmafay

AKAngel said:

Thank you
It still feels odd knowing Mom's not around anymore....It comes back to reality at the weirdest times.

Reality can be a bummer. This is still new to you. Time will make it easier if not better. Grief does seem to hit us at the oddest times. It is often the little things that seem to set it off or even nothing at all. I know telling you that this is all normal doesn't really help, but it is. Take care, Fay

AnnaLeigh

Sorry for your loss
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear mother. Sometimes it can take a long while for the shock to wear off and the pain of losing them to run its natural course.

You seem to be able to look at every side of this situation including a little humor about her last days. This, and the necessary rituals of finding just the right urn to honor her with, will be very important in your healing.

It sounds like you have a wonderful family and they are all bonding together in their grief for comfort.

Wishing all of you many days of comfort and peace.

AnnaLeigh

Luv2lunch

Angel,
I'm very sorry for
Angel,
I'm very sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family.
Linda