my 9 year old just asked.............

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pinkflutterby
pinkflutterby Member Posts: 615 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Carlie: Mom why are you so tired all the time
Me: the medicine the doctors give me make me tired
Carlie: Do you think for one day the doctor can give you medicine to let you be strong enough to take me to the park and play like we used to all the time.
Me: I wish!

then of course I have been crying ever since!!!!!

what do I say? what do I do?

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  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
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    I have a Carly myself she is
    I have a Carly myself she is almost 20. Just say I hope so!!! hugs to you , I know it hasnt been easy. Its hard when you have kids, thats always what makes me cry!! But it also helps us fight!!!!
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
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    I guess I would have said
    I guess I would have said something like " The medicine is makiing me feel bad now but it's sort of like little 'super heros' running in my body killing the things that are nasty."

    You will be able to go to the park again - Chemo will be over and you will come back to being able to do what is important - going to the park - but you may have to not worry nabout doing other things that aren't really important at all.

    Susan
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
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    You handled it just fine
    I have an 8 soon to be 9 year old son. I know it is hard you feel like you are missing out on her life. I missed a few of his baseball games this season, and that was so hard, but I was so out of it due to chemo. When I did go to his games they were so special to me, made me appreciate it more. It won't always be this way, cherish the time with your little one no matter what the two of you do. I know when I felt bad J and I would play Monopoly or other board games and we had a blast.
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
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    carkris said:

    I have a Carly myself she is
    I have a Carly myself she is almost 20. Just say I hope so!!! hugs to you , I know it hasnt been easy. Its hard when you have kids, thats always what makes me cry!! But it also helps us fight!!!!

    Cancer is so hard on us and
    Cancer is so hard on us and our kids just don't understand everything involved, especially when they are so young as your daughter. I think what you said was just fine.

    Sending you a big hug!
  • SamuraiMom
    SamuraiMom Member Posts: 295
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    Love Our Babies
    Hi Pinkflutterby,

    I have two daughters myself, 6 and 9.

    Tell her absolutely yes! The park is part of the plan but you need to enjoy her special talents and love in another way right now.

    Ask her if she could be your best pillow in the mean time for movies and cuddle time.

    Have her read to you and let her know it's an important job as her Mommy to make sure she is learning and growing even though Mommy is physically hurting right now.

    This keeps you in the driver's seat and not the "poor Mommy".

    9 year olds make great peanut butter and jelly sandwiches too! You know how they love doing things that YOU normally do! :)

    My girls turned into my mini-nurses and enjoyed helping me.

    They dressed up, did more "shows" for me and became part of the healing process.

    They'd play spa and give me facials and wash my feet.

    We've had some good laughs during these alternative play times together.

    Fold them into your world with a positive twist.

    Those memories will shape and mold who they are as adults. But I know I don't need to tell YOU that. :)

    This was just my personal experience.

    I hope it helps spawn some ideas for the sweet girl in your life.

    xxoo,
    SamuraiMom
    www.mymastectomyonline.com
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
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    Rague said:

    I guess I would have said
    I guess I would have said something like " The medicine is makiing me feel bad now but it's sort of like little 'super heros' running in my body killing the things that are nasty."

    You will be able to go to the park again - Chemo will be over and you will come back to being able to do what is important - going to the park - but you may have to not worry nabout doing other things that aren't really important at all.

    Susan

    I like what Rague said, tell
    I like what Rague said, tell her the medicine is like a super hero, killing all of the bad stuff in you. Usually just keeping it simple works for kids.

    Best of luck to you Libby!

    Leeza
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
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    Love Our Babies
    Hi Pinkflutterby,

    I have two daughters myself, 6 and 9.

    Tell her absolutely yes! The park is part of the plan but you need to enjoy her special talents and love in another way right now.

    Ask her if she could be your best pillow in the mean time for movies and cuddle time.

    Have her read to you and let her know it's an important job as her Mommy to make sure she is learning and growing even though Mommy is physically hurting right now.

    This keeps you in the driver's seat and not the "poor Mommy".

    9 year olds make great peanut butter and jelly sandwiches too! You know how they love doing things that YOU normally do! :)

    My girls turned into my mini-nurses and enjoyed helping me.

    They dressed up, did more "shows" for me and became part of the healing process.

    They'd play spa and give me facials and wash my feet.

    We've had some good laughs during these alternative play times together.

    Fold them into your world with a positive twist.

    Those memories will shape and mold who they are as adults. But I know I don't need to tell YOU that. :)

    This was just my personal experience.

    I hope it helps spawn some ideas for the sweet girl in your life.

    xxoo,
    SamuraiMom
    www.mymastectomyonline.com

    SamuraiMom and Pinkfutteryfly ..... No mater what age our
    children are .. Cancer is hard and difficult on our family unit. Great suggesstions by SamuraiMom.


    May I suggest .. a picnic in the family room .. gather some leaves, branches anything objects available, pull out a picnic blanket, place on the floor ... peanut butter and jelly sandwiches .. juice etc .. have your -- park visit at home -))) -- each of you can take turns and making up stories of what you see at the park, animinals, children, families .. etc .. take pictures to capture all the memories -- even if you're still in your home.

    You can spend time doing something fun with your children, while conserving your energy.


    VickiSam
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
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    touching
    Oh the innocence of a 9 year old, how touching. It speaks volumes to how much she loves and values her Mommy. I know it is hard but know that you are enduring this so there can be a ton more visits to the park in the future and many other special "Mommy moments". BIG GIANT HUGS coming your way so brace yourself! :-D

    RE
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
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    RE said:

    touching
    Oh the innocence of a 9 year old, how touching. It speaks volumes to how much she loves and values her Mommy. I know it is hard but know that you are enduring this so there can be a ton more visits to the park in the future and many other special "Mommy moments". BIG GIANT HUGS coming your way so brace yourself! :-D

    RE

    Little children are amazing
    Little children are amazing and find it hard to grasp what is going on with their Moms during all of this. I think what you said was perfect!

    Hugs, Diane
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
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    The hardest part for me so
    The hardest part for me so far (which isn't far as I was just diagnosed this Wednesday), was having to tell my 9 year old daughter, Camryn. As mothers we never want to see our children hurting, and I dreaded having to tell her. I know now to never doubt this one, because she's quite the spitfire just like her momma! She took it quite well, wrote down a list of questions for my surgeon that she had, and has been researching breast cancer online.
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
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    jnl said:

    I like what Rague said, tell
    I like what Rague said, tell her the medicine is like a super hero, killing all of the bad stuff in you. Usually just keeping it simple works for kids.

    Best of luck to you Libby!

    Leeza

    Great to see you Libby on
    Great to see you Libby on here again. Worried about you since you hadn't been here for so long.


    Still praying for you as always!


    Sue :)
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
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    VickiSam said:

    SamuraiMom and Pinkfutteryfly ..... No mater what age our
    children are .. Cancer is hard and difficult on our family unit. Great suggesstions by SamuraiMom.


    May I suggest .. a picnic in the family room .. gather some leaves, branches anything objects available, pull out a picnic blanket, place on the floor ... peanut butter and jelly sandwiches .. juice etc .. have your -- park visit at home -))) -- each of you can take turns and making up stories of what you see at the park, animinals, children, families .. etc .. take pictures to capture all the memories -- even if you're still in your home.

    You can spend time doing something fun with your children, while conserving your energy.


    VickiSam

    That is a great idea
    That is a great idea VickiSam! Cancer and the treatments are just too much for little kids to understand. All they know is that they want their Mommy well and happy.


    Good luck to you Libby!
  • Balentine
    Balentine Member Posts: 393
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    The hardest part for me so
    The hardest part for me so far (which isn't far as I was just diagnosed this Wednesday), was having to tell my 9 year old daughter, Camryn. As mothers we never want to see our children hurting, and I dreaded having to tell her. I know now to never doubt this one, because she's quite the spitfire just like her momma! She took it quite well, wrote down a list of questions for my surgeon that she had, and has been researching breast cancer online.

    out of the mouths of babes comes praise
    You will be surprised how much your children will be such a strength and encouragement to you during this time. They say the most profound things. Things that will make you think...make you laugh....and give you the courage to fight. They will probably be your biggest inspiration and give you the drive to stay positive through this. Also as hard as it is to tell them and know that it may be hard for them at times to deal with, this situation will eventually cause them to mature with a humility and compassion toward life and others like nothing else can. So please know that God has a reason for everything He allows and adversity teaches us things that prosperity can never teach us. Humility is the door through which we see God for who He really is and causes us to realize our dependence on Him is crucial for our survival in this life and life eternal.
    God bless you and your family.
    Lorrie
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
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    pinkflutterby
    Im new here, but I had to reply to your post frm June 13, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in Sept of 09, my youngest daughter was 9 at the time, my oldest 16. For my youngest I recruited her school for help. Her teacher was so amazing with it all last year, plus the school counselor met with her once a wk to talk about her feelings or anything else bothering her. I did help a lot. Soon she was her normal self, you know, like fighting with her big sister, hating to do homework. She no longer saw me as being sick, she was behaving like a normal 9-10 yr old.