Chenheart, Meena1 and bjmom1….I am heartbroken for all of you

SIROD

Kat11 said:

Sirod
I read you profile, I Think you have a lot to offer the women/men on this site. You know it's like been there done that. I for one am not afraid to read what others are going through. I believe if my journey takes me in your direction I will learn from you. I have a family member who is going to die from pancreatic cancer at any time now. I have cancer. You would think I could be of some comfort to her, nope I am not. I am however using the good old words why me. In other words why her and not me. What do I do, What do I say, How do I deal with this. I have metastasis cancer ( 2 nodes pos at surgery )so I have the fear of the future. Please don't think this site is not the place for you or anyone else. We can learn from you if your willing to teach. Hugs
Kathy

To Kat11
Dear Kathy,

One book that is a great read is "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. He had pancreatic cancer and there is good advice throughout the book about dealing with stage IV cancer. Pancreatic cancer is right up there with primary lung, liver, brain tumors as they are often more lethal from the start than other cancers.

What I say to someone with stage IV cancer is what I would want someone to say to me. I try not to give platitudes, or minimize the seriousness of their situation. Acknowledge your understanding of where they are in the journey.

Your cancer has not metastasize if you are referring to lymph nodes under the armpit. Metastatic cancer is when a breast cancer cell goes to an other organ such as lungs, liver, bone, brain, the usual spots. It can go else where such as ovaries, eyes, stomach or any other organ in the body. Lungs or other organ usually throw out invaders like a breast cancer cell. Some unknown reason the organ suddenly allows another type of cell to make a home in that organ, then the cell makes copies of itself until in due time it kicks out the regular organ cells functions.

Lots of women I knew over the years had lymph node involvement. Many never became stage IV. I hope you go on to live a long life free of cancer.

Best,

Sirod

HeartofSoul

SIROD said:

Not Understanding
Dear Cat,

You don't beat the beast (breast cancer cells metastasize to other organs), you learn to live with it daily.

It is different than the original diagnose when the medical establishments throws everything at you in a hurry, hurry, hurry mode. It is different than local or regional recurrences, as again they do throw everything at it.

Metastasis cancer, it doesn't matter if it's caught early a few lesions on a bone or multiple lesions on visceral organs, the end results will be the same. That is for 2010. Due to so many women being active in funding breast cancer, we have so many more option today and there is always hope for something new on the horizon.

I felt myself at diagnose, hopeless until I began reading the forums that dealt with women with metastasis cancer. There I found that there could be a longer life for me and I stop reading the stats (they are outdated). Stage IV is living with the disease. One learns that stable is a wonderful word.

Most of all you learn to respect "the beast" as many refer to malignant cells. You learn to use everything in the arsenal to live with Metastasis.

Sirod

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HeartofSoul

SIROD said:

Not Understanding
Dear Cat,

You don't beat the beast (breast cancer cells metastasize to other organs), you learn to live with it daily.

It is different than the original diagnose when the medical establishments throws everything at you in a hurry, hurry, hurry mode. It is different than local or regional recurrences, as again they do throw everything at it.

Metastasis cancer, it doesn't matter if it's caught early a few lesions on a bone or multiple lesions on visceral organs, the end results will be the same. That is for 2010. Due to so many women being active in funding breast cancer, we have so many more option today and there is always hope for something new on the horizon.

I felt myself at diagnose, hopeless until I began reading the forums that dealt with women with metastasis cancer. There I found that there could be a longer life for me and I stop reading the stats (they are outdated). Stage IV is living with the disease. One learns that stable is a wonderful word.

Most of all you learn to respect "the beast" as many refer to malignant cells. You learn to use everything in the arsenal to live with Metastasis.

Sirod

test

test

HeartofSoul

SIROD said:

Not Understanding
Dear Cat,

You don't beat the beast (breast cancer cells metastasize to other organs), you learn to live with it daily.

It is different than the original diagnose when the medical establishments throws everything at you in a hurry, hurry, hurry mode. It is different than local or regional recurrences, as again they do throw everything at it.

Metastasis cancer, it doesn't matter if it's caught early a few lesions on a bone or multiple lesions on visceral organs, the end results will be the same. That is for 2010. Due to so many women being active in funding breast cancer, we have so many more option today and there is always hope for something new on the horizon.

I felt myself at diagnose, hopeless until I began reading the forums that dealt with women with metastasis cancer. There I found that there could be a longer life for me and I stop reading the stats (they are outdated). Stage IV is living with the disease. One learns that stable is a wonderful word.

Most of all you learn to respect "the beast" as many refer to malignant cells. You learn to use everything in the arsenal to live with Metastasis.

Sirod

Not Understanding
Sirod made the commnent in your post above that said

"Metastasis cancer, it doesn't matter if it's caught early a few lesions on a bone or multiple lesions on visceral organs, the end results will be the same."

We know as cancer survivors and learning about cancer that it often makes all the difference in the world when cancer can be diagnosed early vs once its metastasized. The treatments, prognoses, outcomes, and recurrence rates all are affected by the stage and also by the grade. This applies for not only breast cancer but almost all types.

sea60

All of you sound like amazing women
I can certainly read through these postings and "feel" such care and concern for these women. Know that although many of us have never physically met, we have met through "words". I wish no one ever had to go through it again. My deepest prayers are with you.

You are loved and cared for.

GreeneyedGirl

Moopy23 said:

Like a Diamond
I'm glad you posted this, Cat. It rings true to our experiences, and it is inspiring.

Praying for my pink sisters~
what a jolt. I have been away for over a week, and to see this news makes my heart heavy. I too am a second time around survivor, it blasts you for a moment, but we put on our pink boxing gloves and resume the fighting stance~
We overcome cancer everytime we smell the fresh air, feel the warm sun on our faces, and laugh with our loved ones, everytime we make it thru a procedure, or a test. It should never rob us of our spirit.
With love,
Melanie

Christmas Girl

SIROD said:

Not Understanding
Dear Cat,

You don't beat the beast (breast cancer cells metastasize to other organs), you learn to live with it daily.

It is different than the original diagnose when the medical establishments throws everything at you in a hurry, hurry, hurry mode. It is different than local or regional recurrences, as again they do throw everything at it.

Metastasis cancer, it doesn't matter if it's caught early a few lesions on a bone or multiple lesions on visceral organs, the end results will be the same. That is for 2010. Due to so many women being active in funding breast cancer, we have so many more option today and there is always hope for something new on the horizon.

I felt myself at diagnose, hopeless until I began reading the forums that dealt with women with metastasis cancer. There I found that there could be a longer life for me and I stop reading the stats (they are outdated). Stage IV is living with the disease. One learns that stable is a wonderful word.

Most of all you learn to respect "the beast" as many refer to malignant cells. You learn to use everything in the arsenal to live with Metastasis.

Sirod

Not Understanding?
To clarify: Cat did not write "beat" the beast. We here are all very much aware that the very best we can possibly HOPE for is Remission, NED/No Evidence of Disease, Stable (as you wrote), etc. ... This is the nature of Breast Cancer, as it is for many other types of cancer.

We know.

Several members have dealt with more than one instance of breast cancer. Including mets. Others multiple types of cancer - KathiM being one of them. Within the year+ I've been here - two have perished. We are not unrealistic.

Cat wrote "battle"... Often, here on the BC Board, we use the phrase: "battle the beast back into submission" - or similar words to that effect. "Submission" certainly does not imply that cancer is gone forever & ever, never to possibly rear its ugly head again.

Yes, HOPE is absolutely necessary for survival. No less so than the air we breathe, water we drink, food we eat. HOPE keeps us going - enduring horrific surgeries, tests and treatments. Without HOPE - why bother with any of it?

Again, we are all here to support and encourage each other.