2nd round of chemo questions

LuvMyMom3

My mom and I were going to go to the beach with my daughter and meet my cousin & her family while they are there, but now that she was just dx'd and will have her 2nd dose of chemo in 2 weeks, I am really not sure what to do. She may be too sick to want me around and I know everyone is different but that it will make her sick. You will all know for the most part what a 2nd round of chemo will do to her..and I am worried that she will need me if I am almost 6 hours away. A mom just needs her daughter!!..my dad is doing a great job and my brothers will be there checking in, I am sure, but I know you ladies understand. I want to be near her, always, She just may not want any company at that time and hair loss may start. She will fight this- just like all of you are doing. I am just unsure of what to do- I have a few days yet to decide before calling the hotel to cancel...can you tell me about your 2nd round? She is getting a port soon, too. We planned this trip so I could take her with us since she has never been there. Life is full of surprises. thanks for listening-
Michele

Lisa13Q

Hello
Hi Luv your Mom,

I live in MN and my Mother lives in NY. My sister took her to chemo and they called me when they needed me. It took awhile to trust that they would call, and they did. Then I hopped a plane. The chemo does have a tendency to have a cumulative effect, but for my mother it wasn't bad until after her surgery. I also found that if I asked her if she wanted me there, she was very honest with me. Sometimes she said no, and other times she said yes. I respected her wishes. So before you cancel reservations, ask her how she feels and/or what she wants......Also, what type of chemo is she getting? Different chemos have different side effects. I have also learned in this process to trust my gut as well. For example, I went down to FL. to help her move back to NY for summer. She told me she didn't need my help...nah nah etc. I thought, "Nope I need to be there"....Thank God I was..She really did need my help. So....I don't know if this is helpful, but basically, trust her to tell you..and then trust your gut to tell you as well!! This is a long and winding road...I will pray for you and your mom tonight.

Hissy_Fitz

Lisa13Q said:

Hello
Hi Luv your Mom,

I live in MN and my Mother lives in NY. My sister took her to chemo and they called me when they needed me. It took awhile to trust that they would call, and they did. Then I hopped a plane. The chemo does have a tendency to have a cumulative effect, but for my mother it wasn't bad until after her surgery. I also found that if I asked her if she wanted me there, she was very honest with me. Sometimes she said no, and other times she said yes. I respected her wishes. So before you cancel reservations, ask her how she feels and/or what she wants......Also, what type of chemo is she getting? Different chemos have different side effects. I have also learned in this process to trust my gut as well. For example, I went down to FL. to help her move back to NY for summer. She told me she didn't need my help...nah nah etc. I thought, "Nope I need to be there"....Thank God I was..She really did need my help. So....I don't know if this is helpful, but basically, trust her to tell you..and then trust your gut to tell you as well!! This is a long and winding road...I will pray for you and your mom tonight.

My second round was much,
My second round was much, much easier than the first one. In fact, all my chemo sessions got progressively easier.

The third day was my worst. My mother-in-law died between my second and third treatments and I was able to fly from TX to WV for the funeral.

As for the falling hair, mine started exactly 14 days after my first treatment. And it came out by the handful. I had my hair cut very short prior to starting treatment, so the "fallout" wasn't so spectacular. I did not lose all my hair until after I had finished the last of my six infusions. Just in time to start the Taxol maintenance. But I have fuzz now! It's growing in VERY slowly.

Carlene

sanam

Hi Luv your Mom
According to
Hi Luv your Mom

According to my experience with my Mom,the toughest round was the first one.After that I can say that in the 5th and 6th session she was weaker due to chemo but she was feeling better.
For my mom losing her hair was not an easy experience to go through and in my country even finding a cotton hat for her was a challange!
I borrowed her my gym bandanas in the begining!Then we went together and she bought a wig that she never used it since then as she said that she looks wierd with it.I asked my friend in US to buy her some nice hats from headcovers.com and send them to me here.
I can not get seperated from her for more than 1 day.She is doing great but I start feeling very nervous and stressful while I am not around her.
If you decide to go my suggestion is to be prepared for hair loss.
Love you and pray for your mom as I do for mine.Love

Tina Brown

Look after yourself as well as your mom
I have been reading your post and the replies. I have a different view. I nursed my mum when she had bowel/liver cancer alongside my dad. It was exhausing both physically and mentally. I loved being with both mum and dad but I used to have "me time" so I could gather myself and continue to be strong for the both of them.

Your mom needs you to be strong for her and to be "normal/happy" (if you know what I mean relatively speaking) so my advise is to have a break and allow other family members to be a carer for your mom for a while. Your mom will be pleased that you are having a nice time and your dad and brothers will welcome the opportunity to care for your mom.

This is just my take on it. Your mom is going to be around for a long time yet and you will have lots of opportunities to be there for her as she goes through her treatments.

Love Tina xx

BonnieR

Follow your heart
Hi Michele, I have a Michele too and she is there as much as possible. But she has a family and needs to care for them also, and also have some fun. You need to care for you and your family also, and the second dose is easier as a person knows what to expect. Plus you are right, if the chemo one sick they prefer to sleep and be alone and she does have your dad there. Please Please don't guilt yourself either .. one does better when life is as close to normal as possible. This is from a mom n grandma that has been doing this for a long time. Hugs ♥ Prayers Bonnie

Barbara53

check the exact dates
My mom did not have a terrible time with number 2, but that is when she lost all her hair! I would check the calendar carefully and plan to be there to take care of your mom starting the 3rd day after infusion and staying until the 8th or 9th day if you can. The chemo symptoms (whatever they are, you never know) will have peaked by then.

Maybe you can go to the beach and be there for your mother, too. My mother lives less than an hour from the beach, but I never saw sand until 6 months into caregiving -- too much to do. Now it's getting covered with crude.

LuvMyMom3

Lisa13Q said:

Hello
Hi Luv your Mom,

I live in MN and my Mother lives in NY. My sister took her to chemo and they called me when they needed me. It took awhile to trust that they would call, and they did. Then I hopped a plane. The chemo does have a tendency to have a cumulative effect, but for my mother it wasn't bad until after her surgery. I also found that if I asked her if she wanted me there, she was very honest with me. Sometimes she said no, and other times she said yes. I respected her wishes. So before you cancel reservations, ask her how she feels and/or what she wants......Also, what type of chemo is she getting? Different chemos have different side effects. I have also learned in this process to trust my gut as well. For example, I went down to FL. to help her move back to NY for summer. She told me she didn't need my help...nah nah etc. I thought, "Nope I need to be there"....Thank God I was..She really did need my help. So....I don't know if this is helpful, but basically, trust her to tell you..and then trust your gut to tell you as well!! This is a long and winding road...I will pray for you and your mom tonight.

thank you Lisa13Q
Hi Lisa-

thanks so much- it is nice to have support here for each other..Mom had one round of Taxol/Carboplatin I believe is the one that bgins with a "c" ...I did not go that day- she went with my dad and he has been waiting on her hand and foot- he's a good man as all of us, worried about her. She is a strong woman and never complains. I appreciate you being here for me too- Lisa... thanks so much and I hope to get to know you better.
Michele xoxoxox

LuvMyMom3

sanam said:

Hi Luv your Mom
According to
Hi Luv your Mom

According to my experience with my Mom,the toughest round was the first one.After that I can say that in the 5th and 6th session she was weaker due to chemo but she was feeling better.
For my mom losing her hair was not an easy experience to go through and in my country even finding a cotton hat for her was a challange!
I borrowed her my gym bandanas in the begining!Then we went together and she bought a wig that she never used it since then as she said that she looks wierd with it.I asked my friend in US to buy her some nice hats from headcovers.com and send them to me here.
I can not get seperated from her for more than 1 day.She is doing great but I start feeling very nervous and stressful while I am not around her.
If you decide to go my suggestion is to be prepared for hair loss.
Love you and pray for your mom as I do for mine.Love

thank you!
Sanam-- thanks so much.. what beautiful ladies you and your mom are. They do have many things to wear here for your head in catalogs, especially, but so far my mom doesn't want to think about it- I don't balme her. It's very nice to meet you...we can support each other here. I wish everyone good health and to beat this disease! Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it! I love seeing mom..she doesn't live far.

LuvMyMom3

Tina Brown said:

Look after yourself as well as your mom
I have been reading your post and the replies. I have a different view. I nursed my mum when she had bowel/liver cancer alongside my dad. It was exhausing both physically and mentally. I loved being with both mum and dad but I used to have "me time" so I could gather myself and continue to be strong for the both of them.

Your mom needs you to be strong for her and to be "normal/happy" (if you know what I mean relatively speaking) so my advise is to have a break and allow other family members to be a carer for your mom for a while. Your mom will be pleased that you are having a nice time and your dad and brothers will welcome the opportunity to care for your mom.

This is just my take on it. Your mom is going to be around for a long time yet and you will have lots of opportunities to be there for her as she goes through her treatments.

Love Tina xx

XOXOXOX Tina-- thank you
XOXOXOX Tina-- thank you sweetie! I appreciate that advice...very much. She was to go with me and I know she wanted to. I just know they said she will have her ups and downs. Thanks for being here. Well wishes sent to you, pretty lady.

LuvMyMom3

BonnieR said:

Follow your heart
Hi Michele, I have a Michele too and she is there as much as possible. But she has a family and needs to care for them also, and also have some fun. You need to care for you and your family also, and the second dose is easier as a person knows what to expect. Plus you are right, if the chemo one sick they prefer to sleep and be alone and she does have your dad there. Please Please don't guilt yourself either .. one does better when life is as close to normal as possible. This is from a mom n grandma that has been doing this for a long time. Hugs ♥ Prayers Bonnie

Thanks Bonnie
Bonnie- I appreciate that reply very much- my mom is a wonderful mom and a grandma too. Never complains. I know what you say is true, I don't have me time at all..it's amazing how your daughter instincts kick in when you have a sick parent, like a mother robin attending to her babies. I didn't get to see her today because she was resting and I didn't want to interrupt. I know this will take a toll and I feel for all of you for standing strong and beating this thing. How dare this disease try to interfere with such wonderful people. Prayers for quick healing and good days.. xoxoxox Michele

LuvMyMom3

Barbara53 said:

check the exact dates
My mom did not have a terrible time with number 2, but that is when she lost all her hair! I would check the calendar carefully and plan to be there to take care of your mom starting the 3rd day after infusion and staying until the 8th or 9th day if you can. The chemo symptoms (whatever they are, you never know) will have peaked by then.

Maybe you can go to the beach and be there for your mother, too. My mother lives less than an hour from the beach, but I never saw sand until 6 months into caregiving -- too much to do. Now it's getting covered with crude.

Thank you ..Barbara- well,
Thank you ..Barbara- well, exact dates after chemo that I have scheduled to go away is FOUR days after her next chemo and this time my older brother is going with our parents. I wish we all would be there. One of us should be back home though when they go and I can be closer to home to care for things at their home until they return later that day. I never knew how long chemo took- 5.5 hrs. HUGS to all you survivors..big hugs.