Dealing with the aftermath

yeahright

Now that the cancer is gone you healed up from the surgery the family members that came from out of town are packing to go home. Now it is time to deal with the aftermath of what just happen to you. Now what do you do when you really see the scars and missing parts. You know that they said you are cancer free come back for your check up in three months and you cry with happiness and you rejoice with your family and friends but how do you deal with that silent question "what if" it comes back? Right now I feel great and a sence of sadness, worry and every other emotion i dont know how to explain. I sleep alot right now. My body is a little sore but it is getting better. It is the aftermath that I dont know how to deal with. The scars and the fact that I had cancer when did my life take that turn. When did I get cancer such a ugly word. I had cancer, how? I had cancer, what? I am a survior yes I am. I know that but I am still scared about the fact that I had cancer. I'm steal trying to deal with the aftermath. This thing came in my life like a storm took my life and turned everything upside down. Now I am standing in the aftermath. My life stood still in those moments and now I realize as I stood steal everything around me didn't. How do you deal with that.

Toast

I understand
I am having the same feelings and feeling very alone. I had thyroid cancer 8 years ago. That was finally becoming a distant memory and now this.... another cancer diagnosis. I held up like a trooper thru surgery and focused on the healing. My family has always been dysfunctional and non-supportive, but when 5 days after surgery they said crude and disgusting things about my cancer/surgery, I cut them off. I should have done it years ago.
When I got this diagnosis, I told myself to let myself feel whatever emotion surfaced and know that is was transient. I think we are just going thru a normal part of the process....our world will never be the same. I think if we take one moment at a time, keep putting one foot in front of the other, we will get thru the day. While part of us is angry with our bodies for getting sick, I think we need to be kind to them. They don't want to be weak and ill. Even if the world around us doesn't understand and seems cruel, we have each other.
I feel and understand. Shed the tears if you need to, but know that we are survivors - and some days are just hard.
Your cancer sister,
Toast

beckyracn

Toast said:

I understand
I am having the same feelings and feeling very alone. I had thyroid cancer 8 years ago. That was finally becoming a distant memory and now this.... another cancer diagnosis. I held up like a trooper thru surgery and focused on the healing. My family has always been dysfunctional and non-supportive, but when 5 days after surgery they said crude and disgusting things about my cancer/surgery, I cut them off. I should have done it years ago.
When I got this diagnosis, I told myself to let myself feel whatever emotion surfaced and know that is was transient. I think we are just going thru a normal part of the process....our world will never be the same. I think if we take one moment at a time, keep putting one foot in front of the other, we will get thru the day. While part of us is angry with our bodies for getting sick, I think we need to be kind to them. They don't want to be weak and ill. Even if the world around us doesn't understand and seems cruel, we have each other.
I feel and understand. Shed the tears if you need to, but know that we are survivors - and some days are just hard.
Your cancer sister,
Toast

YeahRight,
I agree with
YeahRight,
I agree with Toast...you take one day at a time and keep going forward...one foot in front of the other. Some days are good and some are not so good. I developed a lot of problems after the treatments ended, post radiation/chemo damage, and it's made it very hard to ignore the fact that cancer has changed my life forever. It's acceptance, mind over matter, that this is going to be your new "normal". Learning how to deal with it gracefully is tough.
I was dx with IVA cervical and for a long time I let the thought of it's return steal away moments that should have been devoted elsewhere. Recently, 19 months post-treatment, I found out that the virus that caused my cancer is back. Off for numerous biopsies and the reply from the doc, "We watch and wait." At first I let this attitude get under my skin, but he's right...the only thing we can do is watch and wait. So, I've pushed it to the back of my mind, knowing full well that the week or two prior to my next checkup will send my stress level soaring.
I've also done a lot of soul searching and what will be will be. I've lived a full life...I'm okay with what the future holds. I've directed my attention to making improvements to our home, that in the event my time comes up, my husband will be able to sell our home and make a handsome profit. No one will give me life insurance at this time.
Life goes on...we could become a victim of a fatal car crash each time we get behind the wheel...do we waste our brain space thinking about that? I don't...so, why waste what precious time I do have here stressing myself out about something I have little control over?
It's all too fresh in your mind right now...give yourself time. What your feeling is part of your new "normal".

yeahright

Toast said:

I understand
I am having the same feelings and feeling very alone. I had thyroid cancer 8 years ago. That was finally becoming a distant memory and now this.... another cancer diagnosis. I held up like a trooper thru surgery and focused on the healing. My family has always been dysfunctional and non-supportive, but when 5 days after surgery they said crude and disgusting things about my cancer/surgery, I cut them off. I should have done it years ago.
When I got this diagnosis, I told myself to let myself feel whatever emotion surfaced and know that is was transient. I think we are just going thru a normal part of the process....our world will never be the same. I think if we take one moment at a time, keep putting one foot in front of the other, we will get thru the day. While part of us is angry with our bodies for getting sick, I think we need to be kind to them. They don't want to be weak and ill. Even if the world around us doesn't understand and seems cruel, we have each other.
I feel and understand. Shed the tears if you need to, but know that we are survivors - and some days are just hard.
Your cancer sister,
Toast

Sorry to hear that you been
toast Sorry to hear that you been through a rough time with your family durning your recovery. I guess that I am blessed to have the one that I have.

beckyran Yes it is hard dealing with this but as you said one day at a time. I am find new things to do everyday. I dont go back to work for a couple of weeks so I am doing some of those small things around the house that I wanted to do for awhile.

I guess the crazy thing about this whole cancer thing is I dont fit the stats for vulvar cancer. My doctors was shocked when the path came back. I am 29 years old. I didnt even know about this kind of cancer until I as told I have it. I am mad no one tell us about it and what to look for. Why is it kept a secret?

Toast

yeahright said:

Sorry to hear that you been
toast Sorry to hear that you been through a rough time with your family durning your recovery. I guess that I am blessed to have the one that I have.

beckyran Yes it is hard dealing with this but as you said one day at a time. I am find new things to do everyday. I dont go back to work for a couple of weeks so I am doing some of those small things around the house that I wanted to do for awhile.

I guess the crazy thing about this whole cancer thing is I dont fit the stats for vulvar cancer. My doctors was shocked when the path came back. I am 29 years old. I didnt even know about this kind of cancer until I as told I have it. I am mad no one tell us about it and what to look for. Why is it kept a secret?

I wish I knew.........
How are you doing yeahright?
I don't fit the stats either. I don't smoke. The DNA testing came back no HPV. I never had an abnormal PAP until 7 mos ago. This cancerous spot wasn't even there then. How it went from zero to cancer in 6 short months kinda threw me for a loop. I haven't been sexually active for years (too much information?).........I don't know why it happened to us. It would certainly be easier to reconcile with if we knew.