Stress

Youcandothis

Ok we've all been told to avoid stress, it's bad for cancer patients. So what do you do when stress hunts you down, glares in your eye, and says, "not so fast sweetheart, I ain't done with you"? My husband has been diagnosed with an alzheimers-type ailment that makes him easily frustrated. He takes it out on me. It's the illness not the person doing it, but it's still stressful! We're in the process of getting his medication adjusted, but he's in denial, our kids still think it's a minor thing I shouldn't stress out over, and I'm back on atavan because it's a major thing and the stress is definitely there.
Anybody met and beat this combo? Suggestions? Thanks!

roseann4

Your situation sounds very difficult.
The best suggestion I have is to find a support group. It doesn't matter if the group is for breast cancer or your husband's issue as long as the group is a good one. I would ask your oncologist or his doctor for suggestions. My son has moved back with me because he is on at home kidney dialysis. He and my husband (not his father) butt heads often and I'm in the middle. It can be very stressful. He is on a waiting list for a kidney transplant so we have no idea how long he will need my help. Every other Tues. I go to my cancer support group and I get to vent and can get valuable information. Most important is that I have people who aren't family to discuss my challenges with and get the hugs and encouragement I need to go on. I also use meditation tapes and go for long walks when the stress gets really bad.

Hope this helps.

Roseann

proudtospin

roseann4 said:

Your situation sounds very difficult.
The best suggestion I have is to find a support group. It doesn't matter if the group is for breast cancer or your husband's issue as long as the group is a good one. I would ask your oncologist or his doctor for suggestions. My son has moved back with me because he is on at home kidney dialysis. He and my husband (not his father) butt heads often and I'm in the middle. It can be very stressful. He is on a waiting list for a kidney transplant so we have no idea how long he will need my help. Every other Tues. I go to my cancer support group and I get to vent and can get valuable information. Most important is that I have people who aren't family to discuss my challenges with and get the hugs and encouragement I need to go on. I also use meditation tapes and go for long walks when the stress gets really bad.

Hope this helps.

Roseann

stress
I have a brother with Hodgkins, not doing well and I am 2 years out from diagnosis of DCIS

Brother actually asked me to do a stem cell transplant for him so talk about denial? Makes no sense to me~~my doctor almost went nuts when I told her.

I have made a list of anti-stress things for me to do, try that.
My list includes yoga, excercise, massage, facials, pedicure, manicure, dinner with pals, sewing and all other fun things for me. You have to take it in bits before it gets bad, really.

oh yeah, Spin too

CR1954

Well..........
First of all, I think you must be living my life...and it ain't been easy.

My husband doesn't have the type illness your husband has. However, shortly after finishing rads last year, my husband unexpectedly had to have bypass surgery. Was home from the hospital for a week and then went back in because of a blood clot. He was there just under a month. A one hour each way drive for me....everything left to me at home, to take care of.
Frankly, I just about folded.

My brother then had a heart attack and we almost lost him. Thankfully, he survived, but his life has changed.

Our beloved 15 yr old dog had to be put down, the wheel bearings went on the van, and on and on.

Our 32 year old daughter has developed cardiac issues.

Things were/often are so stressful for me that one of my dear friends on here keeps telling me that God surely must have some special, happy plan for me in the end...

I smile when Drs. or others say that you MUST reduce the amount of stress in your life. If anyone knows how to do that, I would be very interested in hearing about it.

In the meantime, I guess we just need to accept that it is all a part of life. You can try to avoid stress...or reduce it. But in the end, you just keep going on and trying to handle whatever comes your way.

I truly hope that things improve for you and that your husband's condition improves soon.

Hugs,

CR

LadyParvati

CR1954 said:

Well..........
First of all, I think you must be living my life...and it ain't been easy.

My husband doesn't have the type illness your husband has. However, shortly after finishing rads last year, my husband unexpectedly had to have bypass surgery. Was home from the hospital for a week and then went back in because of a blood clot. He was there just under a month. A one hour each way drive for me....everything left to me at home, to take care of.
Frankly, I just about folded.

My brother then had a heart attack and we almost lost him. Thankfully, he survived, but his life has changed.

Our beloved 15 yr old dog had to be put down, the wheel bearings went on the van, and on and on.

Our 32 year old daughter has developed cardiac issues.

Things were/often are so stressful for me that one of my dear friends on here keeps telling me that God surely must have some special, happy plan for me in the end...

I smile when Drs. or others say that you MUST reduce the amount of stress in your life. If anyone knows how to do that, I would be very interested in hearing about it.

In the meantime, I guess we just need to accept that it is all a part of life. You can try to avoid stress...or reduce it. But in the end, you just keep going on and trying to handle whatever comes your way.

I truly hope that things improve for you and that your husband's condition improves soon.

Hugs,

CR

They can be so dumb, sometimes!
"You need to reduce the amount of stress in your life!"

"How would you suggest I do that, doctor? Get rid of my husband? Or my son? or ????"

"uhhhhhh . . . "

Sheeeeesh!!!

HUGS to ALL of you!


Sandy

GrandmaJ

I think as we get older,
I think as we get older, stress is a major part of our lives. My husband has diabetes and I have my 86 year-old mother to try to care for, and as time goes on, she gets more and more forgetful. Yesterday she "lost" her Coumadin .....we found it in the cookie jar...

I am getting rid of one source of stress in that I am retiring from my full time job in July. It would be wonderful to only have breast cancer to worry about, but unfortunately women and mothers seem to bear the brunt of all the stress and worry. I agree that medications help, but it doesn't make it all go away. One thing I do for myself is go away with a group of my girlfriends, twice a year, to Vegas. Just relax and shop and try to forget all the stress we deal with daily.

Judy