New to this, Mom just Diagnosed stage 3b lung cancer

Tess923
Tess923 Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
I guess i'm still numb. My youthful 70 year old mother has cancer. She appears to be fine right now except for the blood she coughs up daily. I know this will not always be the case. We just got her diagnosis yesterday so we have alot more tests to go thru before we can start any kind of treatment. Surgery is not an option at this point. I am more than willing to become her caregiver, after all, she's my mom! But for the last year I have already been caregiver to my exhusband who suffered a massive Traumatic Brain Injury. Now I have Mom depending on me! I'm feeling just a little overwhelmed because I know the level of care she will need is demanding as well, probably moreso. But such is my lot in life. One day it may be me needing good supportive care and I want to set a good example for my children, show them how family takes care of each other. But I'm an only child and Mom's only living relative except for a sister who has been distant since their Mother's funeral. Not a large family support group. And to top it all off, my 5 ft long iguana that has been my roommate for three years passed away last night. I know it seems trivial, but that was the last straw and I broke down and cried as I dug the grave for her in my garden. I know the good Lord doesn't give you more than you can handle, I just really wish He didn't have so much confidence in me!

Comments

  • nancyann3
    nancyann3 Member Posts: 173 Member
    #2
    I'm so sorry
    I am very sorry for what's going on with your mom. Caregiving is very exhausting. I have the same feelings as you somedays. Like, I was put here to take care of others. I wish you the best of luck. Take one day at a time.

    Nancy
  • Tess923
    Tess923 Member Posts: 4
    #3
    nancyann3 said:

    I'm so sorry
    I am very sorry for what's going on with your mom. Caregiving is very exhausting. I have the same feelings as you somedays. Like, I was put here to take care of others. I wish you the best of luck. Take one day at a time.

    Nancy

    thank you
    Thanks for your words of encouragement. It does seem as tho I am the Constant Caregiver. I always knew I would be responsible for any senior care Mom may need in her later years, that was a promise I made to my Dad near the end of his life. And I am an only child so if not me, who else is there? The last year I've spent as caregiver for my Brain Injury patient has proven to myself that I am much stronger and capable that I ever thought possible. But this is CANCER! There will be a point when I can't make her better, I can just make her comfortable and that scares me to death! Braim Injury does not usually require hospice, just alot of neurology and psychiatrists and cognitive therapy, all with a treatment goals aimed towards recovery. Unless some miracle happens, (which I do believe happens everyday) there is no goal for recovery for my mom. And now I have two patients depending on me to keep all my **** together! I can already tell this website is going to be a Godsend for me ...a venue to vent and get all my fears and frustrations out in the open. Thanks so much to all the supportive poeple out there in my situation!
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #4
    Welcome
    Hi, Tess
    Welcome to this board. I am sorry that you have a reason to come. The first few days after a loved one is dx with cancer is numbing. I felt more lost than I can ever explain to anyone who hasn't been there. You sound like a very loving and strong daughter. Please remember to take care of yourself, too. Don't hesitate to get help. You have a great deal on your plate. Also, remember that treatment is improving daily. In the meantime, take advantage of the time you have together. Come and vent whenever you need to do so. Take care, Fay
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #5
    grandmafay said:

    Welcome
    Hi, Tess
    Welcome to this board. I am sorry that you have a reason to come. The first few days after a loved one is dx with cancer is numbing. I felt more lost than I can ever explain to anyone who hasn't been there. You sound like a very loving and strong daughter. Please remember to take care of yourself, too. Don't hesitate to get help. You have a great deal on your plate. Also, remember that treatment is improving daily. In the meantime, take advantage of the time you have together. Come and vent whenever you need to do so. Take care, Fay

    Welcome Tess
    Hi Tess,
    Welcome to our loving family of caregivers. Yes, you will be in shock, denial, and numb amongst many other feelings right after the dx. You are a strong, loving, and caring daughter. You will be fine. Do ask for help whenever you need it. Reach out to friends, neighbors, church family. Take this one hour at a time, not one day at a time. I was a caregiver for my dad who passed away this March. He had ec with mets to the liver. I come to these discussion boards daily, to help others because I have been here and I have done it. Take a deep breath, say prayers daily, and prepare yourself for the roller coaster ride of your life. Come back soon.
    Tina
  • elvyra00
    elvyra00 Member Posts: 8
    #6
    Tina Blondek said:

    Welcome Tess
    Hi Tess,
    Welcome to our loving family of caregivers. Yes, you will be in shock, denial, and numb amongst many other feelings right after the dx. You are a strong, loving, and caring daughter. You will be fine. Do ask for help whenever you need it. Reach out to friends, neighbors, church family. Take this one hour at a time, not one day at a time. I was a caregiver for my dad who passed away this March. He had ec with mets to the liver. I come to these discussion boards daily, to help others because I have been here and I have done it. Take a deep breath, say prayers daily, and prepare yourself for the roller coaster ride of your life. Come back soon.
    Tina

    I feel your pain Tess
    I am a caregiver for my mom of 82.She has GBM IV and has totally lost speech since right before her surgery. she was diagnosed in april 2010. Fortunately I have two sisters who help with care . I really feel for you having to deal with it own your own.I am glad yo have found this site. It has helped me alot and the chat is really great too if you find the time.MY mom was a very young 82 and never been seriously ill at all...welcome
  • Tess923
    Tess923 Member Posts: 4
    #7
    elvyra00 said:

    I feel your pain Tess
    I am a caregiver for my mom of 82.She has GBM IV and has totally lost speech since right before her surgery. she was diagnosed in april 2010. Fortunately I have two sisters who help with care . I really feel for you having to deal with it own your own.I am glad yo have found this site. It has helped me alot and the chat is really great too if you find the time.MY mom was a very young 82 and never been seriously ill at all...welcome

    Thank You
    Thank you everyone for making me feel so welcome. It does help to know I am not alone. I will be using this website alot I'm sure.

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