Thank you

ssfbeagle
ssfbeagle Member Posts: 50
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Thank you all for your concern during these last few days of my Mom's battle with uterine cancer. I know this is not the time to think of me but I can't help but feel guilty that we argued before she went into the hospital. I kept insisting she be more active and she kept resisting. I thought she was stronger than she actually was. We had never argued before and now I feel so bad.
I am off to the hospital now to spend the night with her. I don't want her to be alone. This feeling of guilt is something I have to live with. I love her so much and don't know how to go on. I have a wonderful husband who is right beside me.
Thank you for letting me vent.

Comments

  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #2
    You Are Doing Everything Right
    Hi Beagle,
    Your post reminds me of my dad's last day. It is so similar. Mom was arguing with him to go to UVA to see the dr. She wanted the drs to see how bad dad had become. Dad kept telling us no, I can not go, I am too weak, my time has come to stop this. Mom insisted that he go. She was yelling at him all morning. As soon as I got there, I calmed him down, told him I will not take him to the hospital. I told mom to apologize for her actions. She said I will not! That evening, dad passed away. Mom regrets this to this day. She is so guilty that she was fighting with him and did not say she was sorry. Your mom is still here, while you still can, tell her you are sorry. Tell her all of your thoughts and feelings. Tell her you love her. I will be thinking of you and mom. Keep in touch. It is wonderful to hear that your husband is so supportive. Hooray for him!
    Tina
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #3
    Guilt
    I know I have written this before, but guilt is a wasted emotion. Please tell your Mom you are sorry and then forgive yourself. Don't let guilt pull you down. You were doing what you thought was best at the time. That's all any of us can do. Fay
  • AKAngel
    AKAngel Member Posts: 74 Member
    #4
    grandmafay said:

    Guilt
    I know I have written this before, but guilt is a wasted emotion. Please tell your Mom you are sorry and then forgive yourself. Don't let guilt pull you down. You were doing what you thought was best at the time. That's all any of us can do. Fay

    I know..
    It's hard when your mom gives you a sense of guilt (or any other emotion)...but one thing I've learned, although don't always have the ability to practice, is that no one can make you feel any emotion you don't allow yourself to. That being said, just focus on the fact that you are there for her, you do love her, and make sure she hears it until the very end. You will never be wrong in the regard that you were there when she needed you, and you'll look back on this time with few regrets. Prayers for your continued strength.

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