I don't know

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Hi all and newbies,

Not a good day though I have finally got the MRI's done. Don't see Oncologist till May 20 so requested reports of testing and will send to my mother the nurse with our good friend the doctor to read.
I am so glad that I have been feeling good enough to work where just a few a weeks ago I was beginning to wonder if I was just going to be sick and tired once again. I had to listen to some big mouth technician go on and on to her co worker about people jumping the que on the waiting lists. I knew it was for my benefit though she didn't have the balls to come tell it to my face, one just can tell these things.
Today the worst day ever tired already of being poked and proded why anyone would think this is something I truly want to do. I just have this gut thing where it is telling me something isn't right and terribly wrong.
I don't know why so low when I know that the last time I heard what I wanted to hear and it turned out very badly for me. I know of a woman who is at least 80 and she is having her fourth treatments for cancer but none have been the same. All my oncologist goes on and on about is why I think I have breast cancer. I don't but it doesn't stop me from wondering if these new lumps COULD BE some other aggressive form of cancer. I have been working my **** off even though suffer many pains in these old bones so not a ****. All I know is I feel very much like I did all those years ago and only took sick months till I was deathly ill. I won't sit idley back this time and let the medical world stear my outcome.
Negativity. I am tired of people thinking that reality somehow does without negativity. As much as one there is the other and no getting around that...
Thanks Goodness for a place to lay these thoughts, or I would go crazy whirling them around and around.
Thanks.
Tara