Today I made good on a promise

closs86

halsons said:

smaller bed
Ok Faye I get it now. You are right looking at that side of the bed not being used is kind of a reminder of not having your husband around. I do look at it each morning and feel the same way. I just love my waterbed and have had it the whole time I have been with Sonny over 25 years. I am going to keep the radio on during the day and hopefully it will help. You have a great Mothers Day tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! See ya Haley

pictures
Hi Haley
The pictures seem to help me, I have them all over my bedroom, my grandaughter made collages for the funeral, and they are in my bedroom now, I have a very recent picture of him right next to my bed with his ashes and i look at him every night and talk to him. I have started a journal, only a couple of days, but it seems to be good, I am writing so fast I can't keep up with myself, Maybe one of you can try something like that, it could help you get your feelings out. I had a dream of him last night and woke up pretty upset, because I dreamt that I was hugging him in our bed and when I woke up reality set in. so I had a pretty bad day after that.
As for the antidepressents, if you think you need them you take them, I am taking them and I know they are helping me, or I would never have gotten this far, for sure.
Well good night
God Bless
Karen

halsons

closs86 said:

pictures
Hi Haley
The pictures seem to help me, I have them all over my bedroom, my grandaughter made collages for the funeral, and they are in my bedroom now, I have a very recent picture of him right next to my bed with his ashes and i look at him every night and talk to him. I have started a journal, only a couple of days, but it seems to be good, I am writing so fast I can't keep up with myself, Maybe one of you can try something like that, it could help you get your feelings out. I had a dream of him last night and woke up pretty upset, because I dreamt that I was hugging him in our bed and when I woke up reality set in. so I had a pretty bad day after that.
As for the antidepressents, if you think you need them you take them, I am taking them and I know they are helping me, or I would never have gotten this far, for sure.
Well good night
God Bless
Karen

pictures
Karen, like you the pictures are very soothing for me and I enjoy looking at them all the time. I am going to talk with my daughter and if she wants I will put some of my husband in my room with the tons of others I have and hopefully she will feel better. I did go to my first grief support group and the first discussion they were talking about is people loosing their spouse. Man did that hit home. I did get a lot out of it which totally surprised me. I think I will be attending this for a while. The lady that ran it also gave me a cd for my daughter which was a grief tape for kids. I am going to sit with her and play it tomorrow. I hope it will help her. So please try another support group until you find one that you feel that you like. Also with the anti depressants. I have an appointment this friday so hopefully I will start feeling better. Yesterday was horrible. It has got to get better or should I say like grandmafaye says easier. I hope you don't have anymore of the dreams. They can really take it out of you. The journal is a great idea. I think I will start it and see if my kids will start one too. Thanks for the ideas. Take care. Haley

Tina Blondek

halsons said:

pictures
Karen, like you the pictures are very soothing for me and I enjoy looking at them all the time. I am going to talk with my daughter and if she wants I will put some of my husband in my room with the tons of others I have and hopefully she will feel better. I did go to my first grief support group and the first discussion they were talking about is people loosing their spouse. Man did that hit home. I did get a lot out of it which totally surprised me. I think I will be attending this for a while. The lady that ran it also gave me a cd for my daughter which was a grief tape for kids. I am going to sit with her and play it tomorrow. I hope it will help her. So please try another support group until you find one that you feel that you like. Also with the anti depressants. I have an appointment this friday so hopefully I will start feeling better. Yesterday was horrible. It has got to get better or should I say like grandmafaye says easier. I hope you don't have anymore of the dreams. They can really take it out of you. The journal is a great idea. I think I will start it and see if my kids will start one too. Thanks for the ideas. Take care. Haley

Journals
Hi Haley and Karen,
Thanks for your posts, I have been following your progress. I am sure you know me, I am here, caregivers, and esophageal boards. I lost my dad on March 9th. I wanted to touch on two things. First the idea of the journal is wonderful. We started one as a family when dad was dx. Me, mom, and dad would write in it every to every other day. It was fun. We would all look forward to looking at it the next day. It also helped my mom and dad become more closer to eachother. It helped them communicate better. Most people have trouble saying things, but find it easier to write them. Now that dad has passed, mom and I continue to write in it. It is helping with the grieving process. Mom and I also like to look back in the journal to see all of the feelings we went through. It is sad at times, but at other times we smile and are happy at the fond memories. As far as anti depressants, I am all for them. There are also anti anxiety meds. I am taking a combination med called effexor. It is for depression and anxiety. It does take time for the med to take effect, usually 2 weeks. Do not be ashamed of having to take a med. I also can relate to grandma fay. I have a chocolate lab. He is a huge, brown, lovable, 90 lb mess! We love him with all of our hearts. He is great to sleep with too! His name is...so original....Chocolate. Amongst many other nicknames!! Peace to all. Keep in touch, I look forward to hearing from all of you.
Tina

closs86

Tina Blondek said:

Journals
Hi Haley and Karen,
Thanks for your posts, I have been following your progress. I am sure you know me, I am here, caregivers, and esophageal boards. I lost my dad on March 9th. I wanted to touch on two things. First the idea of the journal is wonderful. We started one as a family when dad was dx. Me, mom, and dad would write in it every to every other day. It was fun. We would all look forward to looking at it the next day. It also helped my mom and dad become more closer to eachother. It helped them communicate better. Most people have trouble saying things, but find it easier to write them. Now that dad has passed, mom and I continue to write in it. It is helping with the grieving process. Mom and I also like to look back in the journal to see all of the feelings we went through. It is sad at times, but at other times we smile and are happy at the fond memories. As far as anti depressants, I am all for them. There are also anti anxiety meds. I am taking a combination med called effexor. It is for depression and anxiety. It does take time for the med to take effect, usually 2 weeks. Do not be ashamed of having to take a med. I also can relate to grandma fay. I have a chocolate lab. He is a huge, brown, lovable, 90 lb mess! We love him with all of our hearts. He is great to sleep with too! His name is...so original....Chocolate. Amongst many other nicknames!! Peace to all. Keep in touch, I look forward to hearing from all of you.
Tina

So sorry
Hi Tina
So sorry about your dad, I know how your mom feels, at least she has you home with her. It is so lonely at home, my sons are married an have children, jobs, and their own grief to deal with, although they are with me at least twice a week, I don't want to put any more stress on them, they have been through this whole horrible thing with me and have all the bad memories that we went through with their dad. I have gone back to work, trying to keep my self moving, so I don't just stay in bed. I really have to push myself, but I am trying to very very hard.
Well I also am going a little crazy in the garden, I guess we are letting out some frustration or something.
(((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))
Karen

Tina Blondek

closs86 said:

So sorry
Hi Tina
So sorry about your dad, I know how your mom feels, at least she has you home with her. It is so lonely at home, my sons are married an have children, jobs, and their own grief to deal with, although they are with me at least twice a week, I don't want to put any more stress on them, they have been through this whole horrible thing with me and have all the bad memories that we went through with their dad. I have gone back to work, trying to keep my self moving, so I don't just stay in bed. I really have to push myself, but I am trying to very very hard.
Well I also am going a little crazy in the garden, I guess we are letting out some frustration or something.
(((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))
Karen

Thanks Karen
Hi Karen Thank you for your condolences. I am not at home with my mom. I am married with a 10 yr old daughter. We live 20 mins from mom. I talk to her at least 3x a day, and see her a couple times a week.
Glad you went back to work, mom did too. It is very helpful. Gald you have a garden. Mom has a beautiful huge flower garden that keeps here quite busy. Yes we do have to push ourselves most of the days, but we have to. Our lives will not continue if we don't. Keep in touch. Hugs to you also.
Tina

anthonya

Wonderful post
This is so good to read.

And I have experienced, since my mother's recent passing, strength that I wondered how I'd obtain. Magically, it somehow is there when you need it :-)