does it ever end?

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kickin the big C
kickin the big C Member Posts: 18
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
bc diagnosis 2 years ago. routine mammo. three tumors, 2 cancerous. so i had a mast., and they removed a string of lymph nodes, and i had chemo and radiation which threw me into premature menopause. the expander was soooo painful as they filled it i forgot about the mastectomy pain. that filling somehow triggered lymphedema which i spent six mths in pt working on. my skin was so burned from radiation that when they put the implant in, i could/can actually see the seam thru my skin. uggh. then, lets do and endoscopy and a colonoscopy and see if all is ok since you are so nauseous. all not ok. they removed polops AND told me chemo had eroded away the stomach lining. so now the wall of my stomach has been replaced with the wall of my intestine. say what? that is not comfortable.
i have no appetite, which helps since i gained 21 pounds from chemo. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! i have six lose teeth from chemo/radiation. the dentist had to build me a plate to anchor them so they don't fall out.
enough already!!!!!!!!! does it ever end?

Comments

  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
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    Wow, you have sure been
    Wow, you have sure been through the wringer. I'm so sorry and really don't know what to say. Please know that we are here and will help support you in anyway that we can. What is in the future for improving your daily living? I hope there is a plan in place. Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing. Sending a cyber (((hug))) your way. Take care.
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
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    I am so sorry to hear of all
    I am so sorry to hear of all the painful side effects you have had to endure. I agree that having a plan to deal with everything as best you can may help you feel more in control of your health. Please make sure your doctors take you seriously and let them know that you need these ailments relieved as soon as possible. I've found that doctors tend to dismiss the side effects of our treatments a little too readily sometimes. I wish you luck and good health. One thing you can be very proud of is that, as your screen name says, you DID kick the big C. Hugs.

    Mimi
  • marilyndbk
    marilyndbk Member Posts: 238 Member
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    Just want you to know I am
    Just want you to know I am thinking of you and hope things go better today. We are stronger than we think. One day--one minute at a time. Take care. Marilyn
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
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    MyTurnNow said:

    Wow, you have sure been
    Wow, you have sure been through the wringer. I'm so sorry and really don't know what to say. Please know that we are here and will help support you in anyway that we can. What is in the future for improving your daily living? I hope there is a plan in place. Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing. Sending a cyber (((hug))) your way. Take care.

    You kicked the big C and for
    You kicked the big C and for that, you should be very proud, as we are of you. Having bc is so hard, so very hard, and, noone understands it unless they have actually been thru it. That is why this board is so great, we get it. Know that we all are praying for you and will be here when you need us.

    Big hugs, Angie
  • Sharon40
    Sharon40 Member Posts: 93
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    OMG!
    OMG . . . I had to read your story to my husband! Enough already is right! You have done your part!! I hope from here on, everything is smooth sailing!! You deserve it!!
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
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    Just want you to know I am
    Just want you to know I am thinking of you and hope things go better today. We are stronger than we think. One day--one minute at a time. Take care. Marilyn

    I am also keeping you in my
    I am also keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
  • myteddybearnana
    myteddybearnana Member Posts: 1
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    in the same boat
    i like you wonder if it will ever end bc-8/08 chemo and radiation and pt
    then fibromyalgia, austioauthritus, diabites, remartardauthritus, depression, ansity, and on and on and on... now colon cancer.........the only good thing to be thankful for is that with both they were cought early...had the mast in 8/08 and acending colon recetion 3/10...... it has gotten to where i am almost afraid to go to the dr........ not sure what they will find next.........ill be praying for you as i am sure you will for me just so you know you are not in this alone.........nana
  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
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    in the same boat
    i like you wonder if it will ever end bc-8/08 chemo and radiation and pt
    then fibromyalgia, austioauthritus, diabites, remartardauthritus, depression, ansity, and on and on and on... now colon cancer.........the only good thing to be thankful for is that with both they were cought early...had the mast in 8/08 and acending colon recetion 3/10...... it has gotten to where i am almost afraid to go to the dr........ not sure what they will find next.........ill be praying for you as i am sure you will for me just so you know you are not in this alone.........nana

    sorry
    Just wanted to say I'm sorry so very much has gone awry for you. I'm hoping things can get fixed and stay that way.

    Wishing you much better days soon soon soon.

    Victoria
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398
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    Wow
    I am sorry you all have to go through this. In my case it took 4 years before anyone would listen to me and actually look for the reasons for my agony and pain. Pain also causes depression not the other way around.
    I am here to say knowledge helps allot and controlling the problems and pain is a big deal. The best thing I ever did was get off the Methadone and medications because they too came with their own side effects and mostly nausea. Working hard and working out and getting into better shape than I have been in my life though an athlete always. I got out of the manufacturing and into construction working harder than I ever have worked. I fell off my stilts at christmas and hit the ground hard and didn't break anything or really hurt myself so I know I am in really good shape at 50 this year.
    After being on medication for 5 years I tossed it all and have very few bad days but still have them. Life isn't perfect but nothing is and honestly we get out as much as we put in and physical activity is the best thing for most of those conditions I have found.

    Good luck to you,
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
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    Ever end??
    Awww, you have been through the wringer, dealing with this. My heart goes out to you...

    You are expressing exactly what I feel and have been asking all of my Drs!!

    During chemo, I lost my voice for 2 months because the chemo destroyed cells on my vocal cords. While some were happy that I could not talk, it made life difficult, especially when the phone rang!

    Then, finished chemo & rads, although still getting Herceptin and I developed hyperactive thyroid...the Drs. attribute it to chemo. Swell. Except that the hair that was so painstakingly slow to grow in after chemo...is now all falling out again. Yep, talk about crying real tears.

    I have also developed what they are calling "chemo-induced" arthritis. My joints are very painful and I am waiting for my appt. with a good rheumatologist to see if he can offer some relief.

    And finally, I was fitted for my compression sleeve last week, for my lymphedema.... Even though I was so careful, I developed that too.

    Geez, I THOUGHT that I would get through treatment for cancer and get on with my life! I never dreamed that I would be dealing with all of these other things as a result of treatment.
    I know that you must feel the same way...

    Hang in there and sending big hugs your way,

    CR
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
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    CR1954 said:

    Ever end??
    Awww, you have been through the wringer, dealing with this. My heart goes out to you...

    You are expressing exactly what I feel and have been asking all of my Drs!!

    During chemo, I lost my voice for 2 months because the chemo destroyed cells on my vocal cords. While some were happy that I could not talk, it made life difficult, especially when the phone rang!

    Then, finished chemo & rads, although still getting Herceptin and I developed hyperactive thyroid...the Drs. attribute it to chemo. Swell. Except that the hair that was so painstakingly slow to grow in after chemo...is now all falling out again. Yep, talk about crying real tears.

    I have also developed what they are calling "chemo-induced" arthritis. My joints are very painful and I am waiting for my appt. with a good rheumatologist to see if he can offer some relief.

    And finally, I was fitted for my compression sleeve last week, for my lymphedema.... Even though I was so careful, I developed that too.

    Geez, I THOUGHT that I would get through treatment for cancer and get on with my life! I never dreamed that I would be dealing with all of these other things as a result of treatment.
    I know that you must feel the same way...

    Hang in there and sending big hugs your way,

    CR

    CR
    Why is your hair falling out again ???? Is this because of herceptin ??? My eyelashes came in great and over the last few weeks are now thin and short. By the way welcome back
  • Flakey_Flake
    Flakey_Flake Member Posts: 130
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    OMG!!!!
    You are really getting more than your share of misery! I don't blame you one bit for wondering where it will all end! But sometimes you need to look at your accomplishments. You have walked the long mile. You have come through with the spirit to say "Hey what the ****!" You are still a fighter! How did chemo ever erode your stomache lining?! I have never heard of that. Not like I am any expert on enything, but still, why weren't the Dr's noticing something bad was going on? Phew! That sounds so painful, and it has to make it extremely difficult to eat. Polyps are pretty common, so I wouldn't worry too much on that, but would wonder if the stomach didn't cause the polyps. Kickin' - I don't know how you take it. I will be praying for you, and every time I think of what has happened to you I will also get down on my knees and thank the good Lord for my blessings! Stay strong sister!
    Sharon
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
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    OMG!!!!
    You are really getting more than your share of misery! I don't blame you one bit for wondering where it will all end! But sometimes you need to look at your accomplishments. You have walked the long mile. You have come through with the spirit to say "Hey what the ****!" You are still a fighter! How did chemo ever erode your stomache lining?! I have never heard of that. Not like I am any expert on enything, but still, why weren't the Dr's noticing something bad was going on? Phew! That sounds so painful, and it has to make it extremely difficult to eat. Polyps are pretty common, so I wouldn't worry too much on that, but would wonder if the stomach didn't cause the polyps. Kickin' - I don't know how you take it. I will be praying for you, and every time I think of what has happened to you I will also get down on my knees and thank the good Lord for my blessings! Stay strong sister!
    Sharon

    You have been thru so much.
    You have been thru so much. I was concerned with the effects the chemo would have on my organs. My doc told me if I didn't have the chemo there wouldn't be no organs to be concerned about, so what choice did I have. I'm sure it was the same with you. The best to you. Stay strong.
  • blabrn1
    blabrn1 Member Posts: 10
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    after cancer treatment
    You are in my prayers. My neurologist says that I"m in a "sizeable minority" with my late term side effects. I'm two years cancer free, but I have other side effects that I live with and other things that I'm sure are side effects that the doctor blows off. Like my asthma has become much worse and I get so tired and winded. I've gained about 40 lbs, and I just have no energy. I got a nebulizer and see ya in year. This is not right. I told my husband tonight, that I feel like maybe it was wrong to try so hard to live. I'm still not back to work. I did get SSI disability, but it is only about 1/3 of what I was making when I was working. I'd rather get things under control and be back to work.
    I think that one day at a time is it. I take my husband with me now to as many appts as I can. I feel like the doctors listen better to his questions. I don't care about that..I'm too tired to reconstruct social norms. I'm just glad to have them listen. There is a long way to go in survivorship treatment and planning.
    So, I do whatever I need to do for now in this life to live. And I have also begun my will and other things, so that I know that my loved ones will be cared for if I reach a point where I feel like it is enough. For me...that is part of my survivorship living.
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
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    blabrn1 said:

    after cancer treatment
    You are in my prayers. My neurologist says that I"m in a "sizeable minority" with my late term side effects. I'm two years cancer free, but I have other side effects that I live with and other things that I'm sure are side effects that the doctor blows off. Like my asthma has become much worse and I get so tired and winded. I've gained about 40 lbs, and I just have no energy. I got a nebulizer and see ya in year. This is not right. I told my husband tonight, that I feel like maybe it was wrong to try so hard to live. I'm still not back to work. I did get SSI disability, but it is only about 1/3 of what I was making when I was working. I'd rather get things under control and be back to work.
    I think that one day at a time is it. I take my husband with me now to as many appts as I can. I feel like the doctors listen better to his questions. I don't care about that..I'm too tired to reconstruct social norms. I'm just glad to have them listen. There is a long way to go in survivorship treatment and planning.
    So, I do whatever I need to do for now in this life to live. And I have also begun my will and other things, so that I know that my loved ones will be cared for if I reach a point where I feel like it is enough. For me...that is part of my survivorship living.

    Wishing you feel better
    My heart goes out to all of my sisters who have been experiencing side effects of cancer treatment, who have been told that they are unique, unusual cases, and special that they have done with treatment and should move on and stop complaining.
    Hugs to all,
    New Flower
  • Fabu
    Fabu Member Posts: 29
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    I am so sorry
    that that you are going through all this. I learn something new on this board everyday. My goodness, you have def been through the ringer!! You are in my prayers and thoughts. As are all my sisters fighting this beast. No one does understand especially those who live under our own roof, do they?? Blessings to you all!!

    Countdown to start of chemo . . 5 days :(
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
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    You certainly have been
    You certainly have been through hell. Does it ever end? Hang in there, you are strong and you will eventually get to the light at the end of the tunnel. You will get through all the crap. Try and stay as positive as you can and be good to yourself. Keep up your strength. I'll be thinking of you.