The Cancer Survivors Network (CSN) is a peer support community for cancer patients, survivors, caregivers, families, and friends! CSN is a safe place to connect with others who share your interests and experiences.

Thank you for being a part of the Cancer Survivor Network community. Survivors and caregivers like you have played a unique role in fostering an online environment that encourages connection among those needing support, community, and education. On May 28, the Network will be discontinued. More details are available here . If you have any questions, contact CSNSupportTeam@cancer.org. Thanks again for the support you’ve provided each other over the years. We remain committed to supporting you in other ways throughout your cancer journey.

spouse insensitity to your emotional needs

jncscouts@gmail.com
jncscouts@gmail.com CSN Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Kidney Cancer #1
I have tried to get my wife to understand the emotional war I'm fighting. She doesn't understand how a simple hug, kiss can mean so much. I'm in a weight spiral where I can't retain weight. It's a dangerous situation. Yet I can't get love and affection at this grave time in my cancer. Depression is a nasty thing and robs you of the desire to do things. Living in dread of my next CT Scan and not having simple emotional support is a silent death.
Like Care

Comments

  • opito bay
    opito bay CSN Member Posts: 8
    #2
    Sympathy
    I feel for you very much,I can imagine to a certain extent what you are going through. I believe we all go through an emotional upheaval when we have a life threatening issue and a vital organ removed, a very lonely experience. My family all live in a different country to me, they moved 5-10 years ago. I was divorced 3 years ago and the in December last year I was Diagnosed then after a not so good Xmas I had my right Kidney removed early January. I thought I was doing okay until I had a bad anxiety attack. Everything caught up on me and I actually was not doing so well as I thought. I am 59 years old with Children and grandchildren and this has helped a lot. I now have a very good lady in my life, she is very attentive and we visit a natural health and life counsellor together, this is very good for us both. Possibly some counselling with your wife might help,she is possibly scared as well!
    Hope this helps
    Like Care
  • pattymel
    pattymel CSN Member Posts: 18
    #3
    My husband has stage 4
    My husband has stage 4 cancer, started with kidney and adrenal removal, with spread to abdominal wall and lungs. This was in November. I have been in your wife's position. I realized last week that I had been distancing myself emotionally and physically from my husband for the fear that if I keep loving him so much, if he should die it will be harder to bear. We too wait in constant fear of his next scans, but I have re-committed myself to loving him with all I have in me because should he die tomorrow I don't want to have the regret of having not loved the heck out of him when he needed it most. You might want to share this with your wife. I imagine she shares some of my own fears.
    Like Care

Discussion Boards