Cancer plus Dementia

AmeliaW

This is my first post. I have read a lot of yours, though. My husband was diagnosed with stage iv lung cancer in November 2008. It was already in his brain and both lungs. He had whole brain radiation and 8 sessions of chemo. In July of 2009 he was hospitalized with pneumonia and renal failure. He was in the hospital for 3 weeks and during that time he had some kind of episode that left him with dementia. No one knows what caused it. It could be damage from the radiation or the cancer spreading or some kind of stroke.
But this is the crazy part. He was released to hospice care on July 27, 2009 and given weeks to live. When he came home he could not stand or walk or even feed himself. We had to use a lifting device.
But over the past eight months to everyone's surprise he has gotten incredibly stronger physically and can now even do a couple of stairs. He does not cough or wheeze or show any signs of cancer. But he has serious memory impairment. He does not even realize that he is sick. He is living far back in the past. I won't go into details, but it's a serious case of dementia. He can't be left alone because of obvious reasons. All the doctors say there is nothing they can do for him, just keep him comfortable. He has a lot of agitation and restlessness which we control with medication. It is really heartbreaking because he has been given extra time but he can't appreciate it.
I don't know whether to insist on more tests, because I know he can't get through an MRI with all of his agitation, and they tell me there is no treatment anyway so it would be just for curiousity.
He is only 62 years old. Has anyone experienced anything like this? I am having a very hard time with it.
Amelia

grandmafay

No words of wisdom
I can't offer you any words of wisdom, but I wanted you to know that I had read your post. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this very difficult situation. I can only imagine what you are going through. Please take.care of yourself and know that you are not alone. There are some wonderful people on these boards. Post when you need to talk or vent. Fay

AmeliaW

grandmafay said:

No words of wisdom
I can't offer you any words of wisdom, but I wanted you to know that I had read your post. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this very difficult situation. I can only imagine what you are going through. Please take.care of yourself and know that you are not alone. There are some wonderful people on these boards. Post when you need to talk or vent. Fay

Thank you
Thanks Fay,
You are a very kind lady. Always concerned about everyone who reaches out for help. I guess there's not much help for me, we are a very unusual case. We'll just keep plugging along. Is that your puppy in the picture?
Amelia

grandmafay

AmeliaW said:

Thank you
Thanks Fay,
You are a very kind lady. Always concerned about everyone who reaches out for help. I guess there's not much help for me, we are a very unusual case. We'll just keep plugging along. Is that your puppy in the picture?
Amelia

Moose
Yes, that is Moose. He will be 2 years old in May. He is really good company. I second guessed myself after I bought him. He was a birthday present for my husband who loved labs. Now I know I did the right thing. We lost our 14 yr old Bassett hound the week before my husband passed away. I am so gratefull to have Moose. I also have a big orange cat who is really in charge around here or at least he thinks he is.

I don't know if I have mentioned before that my mother has been diagnosed with dementia. I know how hard that is for my sister and me. As I have said before, I can only imagine what it is like with a spouse. A friend at church whose wife has dementia says he misses sharing and having conversations with his wife. I know that those are the things I miss most. You too are going through a form of grief. Even if your husband is still physically there, the husband you married is gone. As I said before, I can only imagine how hard that is. Fay

Maggie91

Cancer plus Schizophrenia
My 50 year-old brother just got diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. He has had schizophrenia since he was 13 years old. So your situation is very different from mine in some ways, but there is the similarity of having a close relative with both cancer and a mental disability. It is a very challenging situation. I just posted to tell you, you're not alone. I don't have any answers, though.

My brother was only diagnosed a little over two weeks ago. We don't expect him to live more than a few more weeks -- maybe as much as a couple of months, if he does well. We just don't want him to suffer. If he is going to suffer a lot, we want it to go fast. He is transferring from the hospital to a nursing home this week, and we don't expect him to get discharged from the nursing home except maybe to go to inpatient hospice at the very end.

This is my first post on any kind of cancer forum. I think I am going to like this forum, because from what I have seen so far, people here seem pretty real.

AmeliaW

Maggie91 said:

Cancer plus Schizophrenia
My 50 year-old brother just got diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. He has had schizophrenia since he was 13 years old. So your situation is very different from mine in some ways, but there is the similarity of having a close relative with both cancer and a mental disability. It is a very challenging situation. I just posted to tell you, you're not alone. I don't have any answers, though.

My brother was only diagnosed a little over two weeks ago. We don't expect him to live more than a few more weeks -- maybe as much as a couple of months, if he does well. We just don't want him to suffer. If he is going to suffer a lot, we want it to go fast. He is transferring from the hospital to a nursing home this week, and we don't expect him to get discharged from the nursing home except maybe to go to inpatient hospice at the very end.

This is my first post on any kind of cancer forum. I think I am going to like this forum, because from what I have seen so far, people here seem pretty real.

Thanks Maggie, I hope things
Thanks Maggie, I hope things don't get too tough for you.
Amelia

Maggie91

AmeliaW said:

Thanks Maggie, I hope things
Thanks Maggie, I hope things don't get too tough for you.
Amelia

Thanks, same to you, Amelia.

Thanks, same to you, Amelia.