Here I am again

24242

Hello all,
It has been 14 years since I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and now find myself feeling and doing much the same as I did all those years ago. Another fast growing lump that has gotten to 9 x 9 x 3 cm in just a month. Ultra sound inconclusive so heading back to cancer clinic so diagnosis will happen quicker than it did way back then.

I am wondering if any Breast Cancer survivors out there who have a sarcoma on leg or arm of the same side they were treated for breast cancer and also if an acccident or fall might of stirred things up again.

Life is an amazing journey and I am in for the ride. Life is just too short to spend our lives in worry and fear and wonder if I might have wanted to worry a little more than have all these years of survival. I can't help but think I have ignored signs and that is why I am here with this damn lump in my tricep and bicep.

It pisses me off as always the way doctors still think they are tumor readers and can still say with certainty they believe it is a fat cyst without looking at it or touching it for that matter. Oh yes and the many questions about the depression and possibility of suicide because I have found another lump. My anxiety comes from doctors saying stupid things and not taking my past history serious enough. Not much has changed from the first go around I had.

I have to say I couldn't come back to a better place than here during my time of uncertainty. Thanks

Tara

cruf

So Sorry!
Tara! I'm so sorry you are going thru another scare! I know it's easier said than done but try to relax(at least not panic) until you have all the facts and you know what you are dealing with! I'm so glad you returned here for support! I never left! Although I don't say much, I still return daily to read and see what is going on. The pink sisters here are all wonderful and will support you thru your whole ordeal! Please try to relax! I'm here if you need to chat! HUGS!!! Cathy

MyTurnNow

Tara, I'm sorry you had to
Tara, I'm sorry you had to come back here but so happy that you knew this site existed. It has been a godsend at times and the members are incredible. I don't have any experience regarding sarcomas but wanted to acknowledge your post. As you know, you have come to the right place. Please continue to post and let us know your outcome. Take care.

DianeBC

cruf said:

So Sorry!
Tara! I'm so sorry you are going thru another scare! I know it's easier said than done but try to relax(at least not panic) until you have all the facts and you know what you are dealing with! I'm so glad you returned here for support! I never left! Although I don't say much, I still return daily to read and see what is going on. The pink sisters here are all wonderful and will support you thru your whole ordeal! Please try to relax! I'm here if you need to chat! HUGS!!! Cathy

I am so sorry Tara. Sending
I am so sorry Tara. Sending you prayers and hugs!

ppurdin

I am sorry.
My Prayers are with you.keep us posted. Pat.

jbug

Tara
So sorry that you're back...but your right, this is a great place to find love and support and women who can relate. I don't have any experience w/sarcoma, but wanted to send you some cyber (((hugs))) and positive thoughts you way! Will be praying that it IS a fat cyst!

God Bless...
Julie

orangegirl

worst dejavu
Tara,
I just passed 14 years and was edging up on 15 when I had the worst dejavu ever. I had a call back on my annual mam and sure enough, there's a new mass. I am right where you are - the anxiety and depression are fueled by the doctors and techs saying the stupidest things. Can no one read a chart? Can't they see I've already done this once and have a little more compassion and for pete's sake, stop talking down to me. Even if this mass is benign, the emotional toll is considerable. I have severe lymphedema in my left arm (same side as original lump) and I took a serious tumble a few months ago. I'm not sure if any of this is related - I had been in a car accident 15 years ago and the area of my breast compressed by the seat belt is the precise spot where my first tumor was located. Of course, none of my oncology team thought that was in the slightest bit significant. 6 months ago I had a mystery infection in my lyphedemic arm that has left me with limited mobility in my elbow which is what led to a fall down a flight of stairs 2 months ago. Now I have a new mass that shows up on the same side.
I have tried not to worry - the worry isn't going to make anything better. But I know what you mean - I could I have done better, been more careful, and maybe I missed something. The uncertainty is the worst part right now and I would give anything for a burst forward in time so I could know. If I have to do this again, then I'll do it but I'd like to know so I can prepare.

Tara, I wish you the very best and know that you can reach out your hand and find mine any time.
E

aztec45

You and Orange Girl
Although it may be hard to see, I am holding both of your hands and I will pray that things go well for the two of you. I will pray for both of you tonight.

P

chenheart

Hey 24! I would like to say
Hey 24! I would like to say "nice to see you" here on the boards, but that doesn't sound quite right, does it? You and I have known each other (it seems like forever) from chat~ I am sorry you have had to find your way to the BC boards.

I am not in your circumstance, for today anyway~ but of course I want to envelope you with support and hugs, and wish you all positive rsults. Which of course means all negative results! And why we are treated as numbers and cattle is beyond me...we are women and family members and moms and wives and partners fighting for our very lives! Treat us with dignity, dammit! We deserve and have earned it!

Keep us posted 24~ you are in strong, good company!

Hugs,
Chen♥

Ritzy

MyTurnNow said:

Tara, I'm sorry you had to
Tara, I'm sorry you had to come back here but so happy that you knew this site existed. It has been a godsend at times and the members are incredible. I don't have any experience regarding sarcomas but wanted to acknowledge your post. As you know, you have come to the right place. Please continue to post and let us know your outcome. Take care.

I am sending you prayers and
I am sending you prayers and strength Tara, to help you thru this time. I am so very sorry that you are here again.

Sue

24242

chenheart said:

Hey 24! I would like to say
Hey 24! I would like to say "nice to see you" here on the boards, but that doesn't sound quite right, does it? You and I have known each other (it seems like forever) from chat~ I am sorry you have had to find your way to the BC boards.

I am not in your circumstance, for today anyway~ but of course I want to envelope you with support and hugs, and wish you all positive rsults. Which of course means all negative results! And why we are treated as numbers and cattle is beyond me...we are women and family members and moms and wives and partners fighting for our very lives! Treat us with dignity, dammit! We deserve and have earned it!

Keep us posted 24~ you are in strong, good company!

Hugs,
Chen♥

Hello my friend chenh
Thanks to you all for posting. I too have stayed connected but not as much as my life became very busy living. I am strong, well built and not that sick so hopefully whatever this is it will be delt with quicker and standing up for my soul was something I didn't do before. Last time I knew in my soul something terrible was wrong and I wished I would have pushed things but instead I believed it was a fibrous cyst and that doctor didn't touch it or even look at it my history wasn't important back then for him because I couldn't get from my father's side. I move one province over and the whole world only cares about my history and the smoking I have done as well as the drinking. Didn't help myself there since smoked from a very young age as well as drank two things that affect the estrogen of women.
Something very interesting has come out of my visit with my old oncologist someone who phoned me back in one day and the next day I was having a consult. I still can't believe this one and may not get it all right but this is most of it.
Because I had a very aggressive form of cancer and I was 36 at the time not 35 they were not interested if there was a genetic component to my cancer. But since they have done a study and followed patients from 1997 to 2007 (which I was probably apart of)they have found survival rates much lower than they thought, as well as during this same time they were able to break the code of the tumor. They have found that if your tumor had a HER triple negative something they can find out today, and have the genetic marker as well, our children have a one in two chance of getting breast cancer. I was HER negative and had that aggressive form of cancer. So now 14 years later I meet that criteria for genetic testing. Oh by the way this affects less than 5% of this group.

You know my whole life I have been well aware of my chances for getting breast cancer and today where I live in British Columbia Canada a females chance of getting breast cancer is on in nine. Oh and breast cancer makes up 29% of all women's cancers here. My grandmother had breast cancer and died from bone cancer in less than 10 years. My GP got rid of all the cancer info from my file believing I was just too young to have a file that big, lololol. This GP was not involved in my fight for life so I guess there is no urgency. My oncologist said that there is something to be said for that gut feeling something I should of listen to before.
So now I will go through the genetic round and that won't be for months. Another study. I will be tested to see at least if my family is affected by genetics for the sake of our kids. At least I have always told my son that he too has the same risks as me and he should stop doing the things that rase the risk factors, we didn't know as much back then about smoking and drinking. Back then in Alberta that doctor told me that smoking had nothing to do with breast cancer and that was totally false, then he didn't even ask about my father's mother or even if I smoked and I called him on that. My brother, I think was shoked to hear it affects him and his kid who are both male.

Well I think sharing such information though not totally scientific at least get the conversations going. One other thing in my province in Canada we have a 28% better success rate for all cancers compared to the rest of our Country. And the prices we pay for cancer treatment varies from province to province but today our budgets are more important than the people who pay these politicians wages. Rich are forgetting who truly make the money for them and that is the people who work for them. I have to wonder what our universal health care is doing for us as it gets less and less as workers have to bargon this away, just to keep their jobs. In our country middle incomers payed for everyone and now that our jobs are lost who is going to pay. WE have written into our books that everyone, no matter where you live are entitled to the same care. Don't see that happening at all and it gets worse with our declining health system. Thank God I had the sense to move 14 years ago to be with my partner for life and I have not missed the miracle that happened in our lives.

Intersting don't you think??

Thanks for you

Megan M

aztec45 said:

You and Orange Girl
Although it may be hard to see, I am holding both of your hands and I will pray that things go well for the two of you. I will pray for both of you tonight.

P

Sending you prayers and
Sending you prayers and strength!


Hugs, Megan

laurissa

Hi Tara
I hope things go well for you. I was also misdiagnosed in the beginning, the boil in my armpit didn't feel like anything bad, she said.

24242

laurissa said:

Hi Tara
I hope things go well for you. I was also misdiagnosed in the beginning, the boil in my armpit didn't feel like anything bad, she said.

Sometimes...
I think sometimes Laurissa we hear what we want to hear and on our way we go, that is what I did 14 years ago. Why would we want to believe we are really ill, or sick. I have had a few diggins for veins now and I can't believe anyone of us wants to go through any part of it again. I would rather not but I know our soul speaks and more often than not we ignore it being able to find reasons for the way we feel.
I just think that we cannot ignore the risks we now have for other cancers and the earlier the better if something was to be there.
I am realist and always have been and know that LIFE is truly one of our greatest wonders.

Be good to yourself
Tara