Really Blue Today

BlownAway60

Don't know what is wrong with me today. Kinda feeling depressed and don't know why.

Saw my onc today and she is recommending a surgeon and a radiological onc for me. She says she wants more lymph nodes. My first onc only had the sentinel node removed and it had cancer in it. He should have requested more be taken but he didn't. My new onc had already discussed the second surgery with us, so I was prepared. Can't start rads until after I am healed from the surgery. She also started me on Femara. Has anyone had issues with this med?

I read most of the posts here and some of them or soooooo sad. That might be part of my problem. Just don't know what to say and how my one little self could make a difference for them. It huts me that I cannot fix everybodies problems. I admire ChenHeart so much she seems to always know just what to say and how to say it.

I just take one day at a time and do the best that I can.

I decided I am going to retire on Sep 1st of this year. I have worked for the government for 37 years and it is getting really hard to go in to work everday at 0700 am. My boss is a b/c survivor and has been really good to me since I found out I had cancer last July but I am just plain tired of working. Since I work for the government you know I am going to get a good retirement. Our house is paid for and we only have one bill left to pay off. Last payment on that is in Aug, so I am done Sep 1. My husband and I plan on doing some traveling. See more of this beautiful country that we live in. We went to Yellowstone last year and the year before we took the train around the northern part of the U.S and then back through the middle. Like to froze my A__ off on the top of Pikes Peak.

Well guess I am done venting. Thanks for listening. I quess I am just having one of those days. I guess we all get them now and then. You ALL are a really great support team.

Thanks for helping me.

Donna

carkris

Of course you are going to
Of course you are going to have blue days. the diagnosis and the rough ride you have had. You have been a great source of support and thats all you can do. I wish I too had the power to fix it all, but I keep everyone in my prayers. I did have the other nodes checked as well as my sentinel node was positive its standard. not to bad a procedure but it would be nice to be done with procedures. Your plans for the future sound awesome, and you guys have left your self in good shape for that. Keep focusing on that. hugs tomorrow will be a better day.

RE

It's okay to vent!
Hello Donna,

Sounds like you are having a down in the dumps kind of a day and that is okay. I am 3 years out of my last dx and I get them occasionally so I can tell you they pass and the light shines again and we move on you will too. You actually have a plan and a future of traveling that you can look forward to, use it as your goal to succeed and to banish the nasty cancer. I always say don't let cancel steal your joy, its gonna get bits of it now and then but that is all it is allowed.

Wishing you sunshine to lighten your soul,

RE

Youcandothis

carkris said:

Of course you are going to
Of course you are going to have blue days. the diagnosis and the rough ride you have had. You have been a great source of support and thats all you can do. I wish I too had the power to fix it all, but I keep everyone in my prayers. I did have the other nodes checked as well as my sentinel node was positive its standard. not to bad a procedure but it would be nice to be done with procedures. Your plans for the future sound awesome, and you guys have left your self in good shape for that. Keep focusing on that. hugs tomorrow will be a better day.

Always another procedure!
So frustrating! You've got great things going for the future, good luck and you will get past this too.
I sometimes stop reading posts because some of the stories are so difficult. Then I remember some posts have lifted me through a hard time and hope I might do the same for another. So we all stand on each others' shoulders.

Youcandothis

carkris said:

Of course you are going to
Of course you are going to have blue days. the diagnosis and the rough ride you have had. You have been a great source of support and thats all you can do. I wish I too had the power to fix it all, but I keep everyone in my prayers. I did have the other nodes checked as well as my sentinel node was positive its standard. not to bad a procedure but it would be nice to be done with procedures. Your plans for the future sound awesome, and you guys have left your self in good shape for that. Keep focusing on that. hugs tomorrow will be a better day.

Prayers
To all who were attracted to this post because they're feeling blue!

chenheart

Oh sweet Donna! I hope you
Oh sweet Donna! I hope you forgive me for pointing this out, but your first sentence was saying you don't know why you are down and blue, and then you went on to tell us about oncologists and radiation, and surgeons and cancer, etc etc. Of course you are down and blue! No matter how well we are treated, no matter how supportive our family is, or our co-workers, or how much empathy and fellow-feeling we get from the sisters here on the boards, bottom line, mortality has tapped us on the shoulder and it is nothing to cheer about! For every 10 days we are up and positive and chipper, that one day which pulls us up by the short hairs and reminds us why we even know one another is enough to send us into a downward spiral. We oftentimes suffer from "situational depression", and heaven knows this situation is indeed depressing! If this feeling gets overwhelming, please don't hesitiate to tell your doctor about that...he can prescribe you something to take the edge off until your feet are on solid ground again.

Bless your heart for retiring! It sounds absolutely perfect! A government pension, a house paid off, and a husband to travel with...YEAH!!!! Now that is the exact prescription for getting you out of the doldrums! Isn't it wonderful to have something to look forward to? It makes the fight against the Beast all the more worthwhile.And knowing that you are planning for that adventurous Life After Cancer encourages the sad ones more than you can know...it gives them a hope for a future as well, and helps them to make their own plans. And what could be better than that???


Hugs and all good things to you,
Chen♥

chenheart

Oh sweet Donna!
Sorry...double post

aztec45

I Am So Sorry
I am so sorry to hear that you are blue. That happens to me on occasion too. Right now I am a little blue because I am in MN away from my family and furry friends. I am also a little blue right now because I continue to have to fight some of my male coworkers. They can't do the job; if they can do the job, they won't get off their ash to do it; and, yet, they question me and second guess me and I am the one doing the job. It passes me off to no end.

But back to you. I think taking time for yourself and traveling to see the nation is an awesome idea. You need to enjoy each day and savior it. You can still vent and email us from Yellowstone.

Take care.

P