Obese Cant find help

Options
SBergeron
SBergeron Member Posts: 5
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Well today I hit rock bottom in being depressed. Went to the Closet at the AMS only to find out Obese people don't have a chance at getting a bra. My sisters wedding is in 2 weeks, I tryed on Tops and dresses. Trying them on I was crying, Felt like a FREAK. Nothing hung the same on me. Cant afford to go buy a bra and prosthsis. My head hurts so bad from crying. I just want to roll into a ball and die. Guess I will just keep being a hermit in my house and not go to the wedding

Comments

  • debbie1162
    debbie1162 Member Posts: 36
    Options
    Go to the wedding!
    Your family loves you and would miss you. I understand. When I went for reconstruction I was told I was to heavy for some of the options. It really hards.
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    Options

    Go to the wedding!
    Your family loves you and would miss you. I understand. When I went for reconstruction I was told I was to heavy for some of the options. It really hards.

    Go to wedding
    I cannot believe there is no solution. Silk Scarf is always an option. I am sure you will get additional advices. Your sister wants you to be there.
    Good luck
  • SBergeron
    SBergeron Member Posts: 5
    Options

    Go to wedding
    I cannot believe there is no solution. Silk Scarf is always an option. I am sure you will get additional advices. Your sister wants you to be there.
    Good luck

    Silk Scarf??
    How would a silk scarf help?
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Options
    Of course you are going to
    Of course you are going to the wedding! Since my dx, I now have hindsight...and I am trying to think of how many weddings, church services, picnics, baby and wedding showers, birthday parties, beach outings, even funerals I ever went to never ever knowing that 1 or 2 of the women there had one boob or no boobs or no bra or an ill-fitting bra, or that their pantsuit top was fashionably draped with a colorful, flowing Silk Scarf which covered the proverbial "multitude of sins"...Perhaps the women wearing gorgeous dangly earrings, red lipstick and fabulous shoes did so to take attention away from the boob ( or lack thereof) they only thought everyone else was seeing.

    Your sister and family will be sad and distracted by not seeing you there at all than by wondering if you are wearing a bra which fits. Put the shoe on the other foot~ what advice would you give someone who posted your question? Stay home or go to the wedding???

    This is the lousy hand we here have been dealt~ don't give the beast any additional undeserved power over your opportunities to celebrate family joys!

    Tell us all about the wedding!!!! Have a WONDERFUL time!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691
    Options
    chenheart said:

    Of course you are going to
    Of course you are going to the wedding! Since my dx, I now have hindsight...and I am trying to think of how many weddings, church services, picnics, baby and wedding showers, birthday parties, beach outings, even funerals I ever went to never ever knowing that 1 or 2 of the women there had one boob or no boobs or no bra or an ill-fitting bra, or that their pantsuit top was fashionably draped with a colorful, flowing Silk Scarf which covered the proverbial "multitude of sins"...Perhaps the women wearing gorgeous dangly earrings, red lipstick and fabulous shoes did so to take attention away from the boob ( or lack thereof) they only thought everyone else was seeing.

    Your sister and family will be sad and distracted by not seeing you there at all than by wondering if you are wearing a bra which fits. Put the shoe on the other foot~ what advice would you give someone who posted your question? Stay home or go to the wedding???

    This is the lousy hand we here have been dealt~ don't give the beast any additional undeserved power over your opportunities to celebrate family joys!

    Tell us all about the wedding!!!! Have a WONDERFUL time!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    You go Chen! I could not
    You go Chen! I could not have said it any better. I agree whole heartedly go the wedding, drap that silk scarf and enjoy yourself, it could do you the world of good.

    I have a single mastectomy with reconstruction and now have two breasts with two different shapes and no bras fit me properly because of it. I still wear a bra though and am very conscious of how I look. And when a friend who has not had breast cancer told me her two breasts are completely different shapes one nipple points up and the other down noticeably so, I could not believe I had never noticed it. Ha! Just goes to show how hard we are on ourselves.

    Life is meant to be lived and that means spending time with family and friends celebrating all occasions. While we are still alive cancer cannot rob us of that!
  • SBergeron
    SBergeron Member Posts: 5
    Options
    Curious
    You Think if i bought my own bra to a seamstress she would be able to sew on some material to make me a pocket in it? Where I might be able to go back to ACS closet and get the pros for it?
    Or is a Mas bra different?
  • BlownAway60
    BlownAway60 Member Posts: 851
    Options
    SBergeron said:

    Curious
    You Think if i bought my own bra to a seamstress she would be able to sew on some material to make me a pocket in it? Where I might be able to go back to ACS closet and get the pros for it?
    Or is a Mas bra different?

    It's Worth A Try
    I personally had a lumpectomy but you have to be comfortable with youself no matter what surgery you have had. If that means trying something that is a little out of the ordinary, then why not go for it. I am sure anyone who knows your situation would be more than willing to help you in any way that they could. Don't settle. Try everything. I am sure you are a very important part of your family and they would want you there.

    Sending HUGS.

    Donna
  • ms_independent
    ms_independent Member Posts: 214
    Options
    plus size mastectomy bras
    I don't know if this helps but I found a web site that sells plus size mastectomy bras: www.womanwithin.com. (from Hanes/Leggs. One style of the bras goes up to 46 DDD. Hope that helps, El
  • canoegirl
    canoegirl Member Posts: 169
    Options
    Go to the wedding!
    As everyone else said, you should go to the wedding. If you have a bra that fits, someone should be able to add a pocket to it. Or as a last resort, I know someone who just stuffed socks in their bra on the mastectomy side! Good luck. Find a pretty dress, put on some great jewlrey and have a great time!

    Hugs,
    Marcy
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    Options
    Please go to the wedding.
    Please go to the wedding. I, too, am "large" and it has been a hassle for what seems like forever. How about a camisole top with the lightweight inserts? Nordstrom sells them and I know the ACS has them on line. I hope this helps.
  • Skeezie
    Skeezie Member Posts: 586 Member
    Options
    lizzie17 said:

    Please go to the wedding.
    Please go to the wedding. I, too, am "large" and it has been a hassle for what seems like forever. How about a camisole top with the lightweight inserts? Nordstrom sells them and I know the ACS has them on line. I hope this helps.

    Yes, you can put a prothesis in a regular bra!
    Just yesterday I put on one of my "former" bras and stuck my fake boob in it and guess what? It was great! Now I'm going to order the sew in pockets from www.tlcdirect.org and try those out. I would love to be able to wear my old bras. I'm also planning on using that little poof boob they gave me and put fishing sinkers in it to give it a drape to match up to my real boob so I can wear it around the house and not have to wear the silicone one all the time when the weather is hot. So stuff your old bra with some stuffing material, put in some weights to make it "hang", drape a scarf around your chest, if you don't own one, borrow one, and GO TO THE WEDDING!

    Chen said it perfectly, we are too hard on ourselves and we never even know what is going on with others. Don't let the beast cheat you out of a wonderful family evening with your family and sister.

    By the way, I too am overweight. I know just how you feel. And you know what? You would feel this way even if you had both boobs....we ladies (both heavy and thin) beat ourselves up needlessly. If you don't belive me, get out old pictures and look how pretty you look and then remember how awful you thought you were back then. Boy, if I could live that over, I was thin, had great hair and looked wonderful, but I would never have believed that back then. What a waste and we are all guilty of it. You go party and have a good time.

    Oh, by the way, www.tlcdirect.org also sells fake boobs, mastecomy bras, head coverings, wigs, the works. Take a look.

    Let us know how the wedding went.

    Luv, Judy :-)
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    Options
    Skeezie said:

    Yes, you can put a prothesis in a regular bra!
    Just yesterday I put on one of my "former" bras and stuck my fake boob in it and guess what? It was great! Now I'm going to order the sew in pockets from www.tlcdirect.org and try those out. I would love to be able to wear my old bras. I'm also planning on using that little poof boob they gave me and put fishing sinkers in it to give it a drape to match up to my real boob so I can wear it around the house and not have to wear the silicone one all the time when the weather is hot. So stuff your old bra with some stuffing material, put in some weights to make it "hang", drape a scarf around your chest, if you don't own one, borrow one, and GO TO THE WEDDING!

    Chen said it perfectly, we are too hard on ourselves and we never even know what is going on with others. Don't let the beast cheat you out of a wonderful family evening with your family and sister.

    By the way, I too am overweight. I know just how you feel. And you know what? You would feel this way even if you had both boobs....we ladies (both heavy and thin) beat ourselves up needlessly. If you don't belive me, get out old pictures and look how pretty you look and then remember how awful you thought you were back then. Boy, if I could live that over, I was thin, had great hair and looked wonderful, but I would never have believed that back then. What a waste and we are all guilty of it. You go party and have a good time.

    Oh, by the way, www.tlcdirect.org also sells fake boobs, mastecomy bras, head coverings, wigs, the works. Take a look.

    Let us know how the wedding went.

    Luv, Judy :-)

    Ok so I had a mastectomy a
    Ok so I had a mastectomy a year ago, I never got a prosthesis cause I didn't want to pay for it. I read somewhere about filling a sock with rice to make your own...and guess what? It works great...and I never had a bra with pockets...I just stuck the sock in the bra cup and it was fine....and I am a big girl! My reconstructive Onc. just put in my implant and he had to use the biggest size.So if I'm feeling a little lopsided I just throw a jacket over whatever I'm wearing. Look for an outfit with a jacket, or go with the large silk scarf with a pretty pin to hold it in place like the pashmina's everyone was wearing a couple of years ago. You're the only one who is going to be thinking about how your breasts look...so relax and have fun...
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    Options
    Stuff it!
    Take one of your old bras and stuff it! I don't know many of us gals who didn't do that as teeny-boppers. I'm doing that right now whenever I go out of the house due to the radiation burns I have. Wear loose clothes, a poncho maybe, things that are loose and not 'body defining'.

    Go to your sister's wedding and have a good time! IF any fool should have a "?" - then it's THEIR prob - NOT YOURS!

    Thoughts and prayers!

    Susan
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    Options
    dyaneb123 said:

    Ok so I had a mastectomy a
    Ok so I had a mastectomy a year ago, I never got a prosthesis cause I didn't want to pay for it. I read somewhere about filling a sock with rice to make your own...and guess what? It works great...and I never had a bra with pockets...I just stuck the sock in the bra cup and it was fine....and I am a big girl! My reconstructive Onc. just put in my implant and he had to use the biggest size.So if I'm feeling a little lopsided I just throw a jacket over whatever I'm wearing. Look for an outfit with a jacket, or go with the large silk scarf with a pretty pin to hold it in place like the pashmina's everyone was wearing a couple of years ago. You're the only one who is going to be thinking about how your breasts look...so relax and have fun...

    Bra extension
    Hi again, even i am size 4 cup B, I was not able to find a good fitted bra after my surgery (radical mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I never had a mastectomy bra, yes they are expensive. I bough "bra extensions" at Sears which cost $3.50 which increase the length . Sometimes I used two one after another (as chain) when my body was swollen. Try to be creative and feel confident. You can also put flower on your affected side as well.
    Let us know how have you done and post a picture.
    New Flower
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    Options
    Stuff, stuff, stuff
    Worked for me as a teenager and like they say, everything old is new again! I'm stuffing again to even up and have used silicone boobs (both on the one side) for the weight. Dried beans or rice in a sock or knee hi does the trick, too. Scarves, flowers or whatever, be creative.

    GO TO THE WEDDING, you will never regret it.

    Hugs,

    Sue
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
    Options
    sbmly53 said:

    Stuff, stuff, stuff
    Worked for me as a teenager and like they say, everything old is new again! I'm stuffing again to even up and have used silicone boobs (both on the one side) for the weight. Dried beans or rice in a sock or knee hi does the trick, too. Scarves, flowers or whatever, be creative.

    GO TO THE WEDDING, you will never regret it.

    Hugs,

    Sue

    I'm so glad this came up as
    I'm so glad this came up as I'm facing my single masectomy in April and already was wondering what I'd do afterwards since Im not having reconstruction. I didn't know if I'd be able to get both sides to look anything alike after surgery. You gals have gave me some really good ideas and now I feel more confident that I can come up with something suitable. I would like to still be able to use my old bras until I can figure out what else I want to do and I sure didn't want to look lopsided. So thanks, gals, you're all so creative.
    I sure wouldn't want to miss that wedding, and neither do you. Go, and enjoy the occasion, and post pics so we can see how beautiful you looked.
  • Skeezie
    Skeezie Member Posts: 586 Member
    Options
    Sunrae said:

    I'm so glad this came up as
    I'm so glad this came up as I'm facing my single masectomy in April and already was wondering what I'd do afterwards since Im not having reconstruction. I didn't know if I'd be able to get both sides to look anything alike after surgery. You gals have gave me some really good ideas and now I feel more confident that I can come up with something suitable. I would like to still be able to use my old bras until I can figure out what else I want to do and I sure didn't want to look lopsided. So thanks, gals, you're all so creative.
    I sure wouldn't want to miss that wedding, and neither do you. Go, and enjoy the occasion, and post pics so we can see how beautiful you looked.

    Oh Sunrae,
    don't worry about looking lopsided. I have a single mastectomy and did not want reconstruction either. My prosthetic looks exactly like my other side. But I would advise going to a certified fitter. She must have tried 6 or 7 before she chose the one I have. I'm ok with the mastectomy bras, but as I said earlier, I really like the ones I wore before and played around yesterday and discovered I can use my prosthetic with it too. I want something between me and the fake boob so it isn't touching my skin and I'm going to try the sew-in pockets. Also going to experiment with the other things I talked about earlier for at home.

    I promise you won't look lopsided, no one would know. Oh, and by the way, the fake one even feels like the real one. Honestly, if someone hugs you or you are dancing, no one can tell the difference. I made an appt. with my shop before my mastecomy and saw and handled the fake one and felt so much better. Do it before your surgery. You will be surprised. I was surprised at how nice the mastecomy bras are. I just prefer my 18 Hr. Playtex Comfort Lace bras.

    Good luck with your upcoming surgery.

    Hugs, Judy :-)
  • diney9
    diney9 Member Posts: 6
    Options
    I understand
    I totally understand where you are coming from.Since I had a bilateral mastectomy last September i feel kinda like a freak when i go out anywhere.I am also a plus size woman,of course it didn't help that I've been out of work just staying in the house recovering,where now i feel most comfortable,but when i have to go out i wear a jacket ,but it does'nt cover much. I have a large stomach with an entirely flat chest except for the extra skin my surgeon left in case i choose to get reconstruction someday,i wear a scarf on my head everywhere i go and i swear everyone stares at me. I too have cried over this many times,i feel like everything that made me feel like a woman is now gone.I usually go out and hold my head high and dont worry about other people but it is so hard,i didn't choose for this to happen to me.I guess i would say,please go to the wedding,take the advice from some of these women about the special bras,which i'm also going to try,and hold your head high. You're family is going to want you there,please don't let this cancer take anymore joy from your life.Good luck and have FUN.