Ongoing Treatment for NSCLC Stg 4

tessyc

I'm a caregiver for my 58 year old Mother who was diagnosed with Stage 4 NSCLC (in September 07)that gone to her brain. They did immediate full brain radation on the brain tumors since they we causing swelling and she was passing out. This is actually how we discovered she had cancer. After the radation was completed they started her on a Carbo/Cisplatin cocktail that took 4 to 5 hours to complete each time she went in. The first cycle was great and everything had shrunk. after the Second cycle tests showed growth a new spot on her liver and she had neropathy so they stopped it. At that point They decided on alimta for the next round of treatment. She had been getting treatment every three weeks starting in June '08. Recently to give her a break they extended it to every 4 weeks. She has had 30 cycles of alimta with very few side effects. Those being fatigue and has short term memory loss but that is from the radiation. The tumors in her brain were gone shortly after the radiation was over. The tumor in her lung is barely detectable now and there is just a tiny spot on her liver. That wouldn't even be called cancer if they hadn't already seen something there.

She has never been what I would call a fighter. Although from the above account it may appear differently. She has had trouble with drugs and drinking her whole life. Her diet is really bad and I have always been more of a mom to her than vice versa. She will even admit this. I am completely the oppisite. I have never done drugs, I only drink socially, I eat pretty healthy and go to the gym regularly. I come to her house every week and orgianize her pills for her. I pick her up and drive her to the treatments and dr visits. I stay with her while she is at the treatment center and then take her home after. The treament itself is only about 10 mins but she gets blood drawn and has a dr visit on the same day. So the whole trip including driving to and from the hospital is about 5-6 hours. We chat in the car, watch tv at the infusion center and usually go have lunch.

Lately She has been complaining about the trip to the hospital and the treatments and is talking about taking a break from the Chemo. She says she feels ok but she is just tired of going there. I think it's a terrible idea because I truly beleive this treatment is what is keeping her alive. Ultmately it is her decision but considering the fact that she is now on disability fighting her cancer is the only thing she has to do and she only needs to do that every 4 weeks. I know people deal with things differently but this is just really hard to comprehend. Can anyone help me understand this or am I right? Should I push her to continue or let her take her "break". She had been having the alimta treatments for 1 year and 10 months now. Has anyone heard of being on this treatment this long?

I am willing to listen to any advice or comments you may have.

tessyc

Also
Just as an FYI I posted this in another board and got no reponse so I thought I would try a new posting Hopefully no-one has read this twice...

catcon49

tessyc said:

Also
Just as an FYI I posted this in another board and got no reponse so I thought I would try a new posting Hopefully no-one has read this twice...

I ran into something like
I ran into something like this with my mom. Although she was older 76, She didn't want chemo for Stage 3c ovarian cancer. I told her I think she should try it if it was to bad, then quit. My brother didn't think we should force her. Everyone has their own take on Chemo. But pretty much, I wasn't ready to lose my mother yet. So she went through the Chemo. She is now 78 and NED. She doesn't get around so much anymore because of the neuropathy. She gets very frustrated because she can't do what she use to. Maybe your mom needs a little more time, to get her in the fighting mode. She is so young to just give up. But maybe her other problems are causing her distress. The only thing you can really do is to support her. You can't make people do something they don't want to. But point out to her all the people who are surviving lung cancer, and there are alot on this site. One thing I would like to share with you. As a caregiver you need to keep your strength and health up. So many caregivers get ill while caring for someone. Oddly enough that is when they found that I had lung cancer. (fortunately it was found very early).

I hope this helps in someway. Stay strong and remember you can support her fight but you can't fight her fight for her.

Take care of yourself and God bless.

tessyc

catcon49 said:

I ran into something like
I ran into something like this with my mom. Although she was older 76, She didn't want chemo for Stage 3c ovarian cancer. I told her I think she should try it if it was to bad, then quit. My brother didn't think we should force her. Everyone has their own take on Chemo. But pretty much, I wasn't ready to lose my mother yet. So she went through the Chemo. She is now 78 and NED. She doesn't get around so much anymore because of the neuropathy. She gets very frustrated because she can't do what she use to. Maybe your mom needs a little more time, to get her in the fighting mode. She is so young to just give up. But maybe her other problems are causing her distress. The only thing you can really do is to support her. You can't make people do something they don't want to. But point out to her all the people who are surviving lung cancer, and there are alot on this site. One thing I would like to share with you. As a caregiver you need to keep your strength and health up. So many caregivers get ill while caring for someone. Oddly enough that is when they found that I had lung cancer. (fortunately it was found very early).

I hope this helps in someway. Stay strong and remember you can support her fight but you can't fight her fight for her.

Take care of yourself and God bless.

You are right
You are right I can't fight this for her but sometimes I think I am....I do sometimes think about avoiding my own appointments and then I think Who will take care of her if I'm gone? Also my mom never took the best care of herself and our family history on her side is a bit fuzy because of it. I want my daughter to have clear information about health issues when she gets older and needs that info. I am the only child my mom has and she has no siblings. Which is sometimes a blessing and a curse. No one to agrue with when we make decisions but life would sure be easier if I had someone to share the burdens with.


Wow first mom and now you? That's a little scary Where you both smokers? I have never smoked but I wonder if this could be heridtary. My mom's father had lung cancer but he was also a smoker.

Thanks for your response it helps to know someone is feeling my pain...