Newly diagnosed but sort of expecting it...

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lisette03
lisette03 Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi, all. I'm newly diagnosed and two Fridays ago I had a lumpectomy and twelve nodes removed. Nodes showed negative, and the tumor was 1.4cm. This afternoon I see my oncologist for the first time. I feel like Alice falling through the rabbit hole; all sorts of things are coming at me pretty fast. I try to research, but, honestly? I feel overwhelmed which leaves me feeling scared and wishing this whole damn thing would go away.

I said in the subject line that I was sort of expecting it because my mother's a bc survivor of 19 years (she had a mastectomy, radiation, and chemo) and one of my sisters is also a bc survivor of three years (lumpectomy, radiation and chemo), and my dad died of cancer. Both my grandfathers had cancer, too, with one of them dying from stomach cancer. The other had nasal cancer and all I remember of him is he sported a nifty silver nose that he could remove. (That was pretty cool when looking at it from the eyes of a child, although now that I think about it, it's weirdly morbid!)

I'm reading a lot of what's going on in the discussion boards and while I'm deeply moved by everybody's generosity of spirit, I have to say it feels very surreal and I don't want to be here, ya know? I guess that's normal.

Anyway, I'm new to personally experiencing cancer, and I hope to find the support I need (beyond my wonderful husband and son and very devoted pooch) here.

Upon previewing this topic, I notice that the date listed in the upper right hand corner is December 31, 1969-6:00 p.m. Anyone else see this, and how do I correct it? Feelin' like Alice again!

Comments

  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
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    Welcome, Lisette. I'm sorry
    Welcome, Lisette. I'm sorry you are here but glad you found us. With the history of cancer(s) in your family, I'm sure you will get a lot of support from them, too. I would suggest one day at a time and one step at a time. It is very overwhelming, to say the least. I was in total shock because there was never any bc in my family. But, I guess there always has to be a first and I was it. I'm fairly new out of treatment as I completed chemo in October '09 and rads in December '09, Christmas Eve to be exact. It seems like an eternity when you first hear your diagnosis and then treatment plan but believe me it really goes by quickly. We'll be here to provide support, encouragement, knowledge and compassion. Just ask away and someone will be along to share their experience. Good luck. You can do it!!

    P.S. The date I see on your post is today.?.?
  • JacquiAL
    JacquiAL Member Posts: 29
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    Hi and Welcome
    Hi Lisette,

    Sorry you have to be here but you will get a lot of good information from the people here.

    You may know this but your onc will probably talk to you about radiation and chemo and if your tumor is estrogen positive, the Oncotype test. Hopefully you will feel a little better after your appointment because you will have some idea of what further treatment you will have. If you have any questions, just post and I'm sure you will get many responses.

    I had two lumpectomies (the 2nd to take more nodes and get clear margins) and 33 radiation treatments. I didn't have chemo because my Oncotype Score indicated it would be more detrimental than helpful to me.

    The date I see in the upper right hand corner is today's date.

    Let us know what your onc says.

    My best to you.

    Jacqui
  • marilyndbk
    marilyndbk Member Posts: 238 Member
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    Hi Lisette and welcome. I
    Hi Lisette and welcome. I have received so much support, understanding and info from the people here. I think your feelings are normal. We have all been or going thru this journey and some days are better than others. Sometimes all the info is so overwhelming I just wanted to hide under the covers. But I refuse to be defined by having cancer and I am determined to be ok no matter what. I have faith that God has a good plan for my life and I am so grateful for the skill and knowledge of my breast surgeon and plastic surgeon and their staff have all been great. Take good care of yourself and hang in there. Marilyn
  • jbug
    jbug Member Posts: 285
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    Hi Lisette
    Welcome...so sorry you have to be here, but you found a great place for support. Lots of women (and some men) to walk the walk w/you. I think that 'surreal' feeling lasts a while...seemed like i would get a handle on my emotions and then I would fall apart again. Though it sounds like there are lots of others in your family that have had to cope w/cancer, it is a whole different thing when you have someone say to you...'you have cancer!' I had lumpectomy w/negative nodes...radiation and tamoxifen.

    Give yourself time to absorb and know that whatever your feeling is normal. Come back often...God Bless...
    Julie
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
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    Hi Lissette. Welcome to the
    Hi Lissette. Welcome to the website we all wish we didnt have to find but are so happy we did. There is a wealth of knowledge to be found on these boards along with kind loving support. We write everything here. If we are down, we can vent here, if we are up we can say it, we can ask questions and get many wonderful responses. We are all survivors and strong warriors. I'm still in treatment, one more chemo to go. I had an infusion yesterday. al;ready had 2 surgeries for stage 2 BC. Will go on to radiation after chemo. Chemo is different for everyone but doable. I hope you can get by with radiation and no chemo, but if you need chemo you will survive and do well just like the rest of us. Best wishes.
  • kms3566
    kms3566 Member Posts: 57
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    HI Lisette, so glad you
    HI Lisette, so glad you found this sight. There are truly some amazing women (and some men also) on here that are a great source on knowledge and support. I, like you was totally overwhelmed when I heard the word CANCER, unlike you there is no history at all in my family until me. Within 2 weeks I was having a double mastectomy even though only the right side showed positive for cancer I did not want to go through any of this again. I just completed my 1st round on chemo today, so far so good. Best of luck and hugs to you. Please post as to how you are doing.

    Karen
  • tally
    tally Member Posts: 48
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    Lisette, Nice to meet you.
    Nice to meet you. I truly understand how you feel. I'm new here also. I had my lumpectomy and 3 lymph nodes removed 2/25/10. This is all so overwhelming. I see my oncologist for the first time next Thursday but my surgeon has already told me I will have chemo, radiation and a drug like Tamoxifen for 5 years. Mine is estrogen receptive and I had a positive sentinil node. I have a family history of breast cancer - mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I am 43 years old. Sometimes I feel like I'm outside looking in at somebody else. I try to read information but its seems like a lot to take in and its just scary. My daddy passed away Dec 30 and sometimes I get angry because I haven't had time to grieve and now I have to deal with this. And I know its silly but I'm scared to have my head shaved. Its not a vanity issue as I have been growing my hair to donate to Wigs For Kids for over a year. I think for me it will just make it real. I know someday we will be celebrating over the end of our treatment and maybe we can help someone else.
  • Youcandothis
    Youcandothis Member Posts: 79
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    tally said:

    Lisette, Nice to meet you.
    Nice to meet you. I truly understand how you feel. I'm new here also. I had my lumpectomy and 3 lymph nodes removed 2/25/10. This is all so overwhelming. I see my oncologist for the first time next Thursday but my surgeon has already told me I will have chemo, radiation and a drug like Tamoxifen for 5 years. Mine is estrogen receptive and I had a positive sentinil node. I have a family history of breast cancer - mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I am 43 years old. Sometimes I feel like I'm outside looking in at somebody else. I try to read information but its seems like a lot to take in and its just scary. My daddy passed away Dec 30 and sometimes I get angry because I haven't had time to grieve and now I have to deal with this. And I know its silly but I'm scared to have my head shaved. Its not a vanity issue as I have been growing my hair to donate to Wigs For Kids for over a year. I think for me it will just make it real. I know someday we will be celebrating over the end of our treatment and maybe we can help someone else.

    I thought I had to wear hats
    I thought I had to wear hats etc, then discovered I kinda liked the crewcut! Yeah, it makes it real but when you've had a treatment or two it's already real. Wear it like the badge of honor it is. It's been a year since my hair grew back, and I still have people telling me how glad they are I'm doing well, and how they've been praying for me. And some of them I'd only see casually at the market!
  • jackiejhm
    jackiejhm Member Posts: 169
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    Welcome Lisette
    So glad you found us. This is such a great site!!!
    I heard a great quote when I was first diagnosed last Nov/09-"Cancer is like a class 5 Tornado, it knocks you onto a hill top 100 feet away, when the dust clears, all of those things that you thought were fragile are intact and upright. All of the things that you thought were steadfast have shattered into a million little pieces."
    I hold fast to the positive, I move forward, forward, forward! And most of all I reach out every chance I get the the wonderful friends I have met on this site. It helps me so much. All of those experiences We've all had-or are having do offer some peace. Take care!
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
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    jackiejhm said:

    Welcome Lisette
    So glad you found us. This is such a great site!!!
    I heard a great quote when I was first diagnosed last Nov/09-"Cancer is like a class 5 Tornado, it knocks you onto a hill top 100 feet away, when the dust clears, all of those things that you thought were fragile are intact and upright. All of the things that you thought were steadfast have shattered into a million little pieces."
    I hold fast to the positive, I move forward, forward, forward! And most of all I reach out every chance I get the the wonderful friends I have met on this site. It helps me so much. All of those experiences We've all had-or are having do offer some peace. Take care!

    How did your appointment go, Lisette?
    I think we all remember too well how overwhelming all the new information and foreign vocabulary is when you're just starting this journey -- I hope your first visit with your oncologist gave you a little more information and reassurance? Post when you can, and let us know how it went!

    Traci

    PS: A removable silver nose, huh? Hmmm...I wonder if I could get removable silver breasts....talk about a conversation starter! :-)
  • Weezie2010
    Weezie2010 Member Posts: 11
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    Right there with you..
    i remember in the first weeks of my diagnosis (Jan 12) i kept saying that it had to be a mistake, they mixed me up with someone else..I, too have a sister 10 yr bc survivor, dad and brother both died of lung cancer. today is 19 days without a cigarette, which i still can't believe!! this is really hard and overwhelming, i like the analogy to Alice and the rabbit hole. I am just so glad that this is here and I am trying to hold on to the moments of hope that i get. Yes, the crazy date got me too, but it actually showed the right one.
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
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    MyTurnNow said:

    Welcome, Lisette. I'm sorry
    Welcome, Lisette. I'm sorry you are here but glad you found us. With the history of cancer(s) in your family, I'm sure you will get a lot of support from them, too. I would suggest one day at a time and one step at a time. It is very overwhelming, to say the least. I was in total shock because there was never any bc in my family. But, I guess there always has to be a first and I was it. I'm fairly new out of treatment as I completed chemo in October '09 and rads in December '09, Christmas Eve to be exact. It seems like an eternity when you first hear your diagnosis and then treatment plan but believe me it really goes by quickly. We'll be here to provide support, encouragement, knowledge and compassion. Just ask away and someone will be along to share their experience. Good luck. You can do it!!

    P.S. The date I see on your post is today.?.?

    Just want to welcome you
    Just want to welcome you Lisette and wish you good luck!

    Hugs, Diane