trying to get better, need some serious input please

lolad

It has been a few months since i have posted or anything. I have not been well and just pray that i will someday soon get better. I need advice on my last obsticle that has been going on. It will be a year in june since i had a double mastectomy and at that time i had tissue expanders placed in. I finished chemo in october. They finished the filling process of my expanders in November. I was told that they were going to go ahead and schedule my implant surgery. Time went by and i didnt hear anything, so i called and asked about when they were going to schedule it. They said they would call back. In december, i formed a scab on my left breast about the size of a quarter. I saw my oncologist and she told me it was no big deal, that sometimes happens. The scab grew and finally became an open sore about the size of a silver dollar. This past week, they had to take out the left tissue expander, put in another drain and now i have to wait another three months for my implant surgery. They now also have to cut a muscle from my back to replace the tissue that was lost from my left breast. My plastic surgeon said that this wouldnt have happened if we would have done the implant surgery already!!! So, now im walking around with one lump on the right. Nothing on the left and pain again that i feel i shouldnt have had to go through. Does this sound like medical neglect to anyone? I just feel hopeless and so ugly. Any words or advice?
thanks everyone
laura

susanleeann

so sry you are having trouble
sounds to me like someone at the plastic surgeon's office dropped the ball and you ended up with an unnecessary problem. you may need to clarify this with that plastic surgeon. insist that he work with you to get this solved, the open sore healed, and proceed with the implants. this is not your problem to solve, it is HIS! this is not your fault. unfurtunately you have to live with it. this can be fixed but it will take time and as a result you will not be able to get on with your life till it is done. i'll be here saying a prayer for you.

roseann4

susanleeann said:

so sry you are having trouble
sounds to me like someone at the plastic surgeon's office dropped the ball and you ended up with an unnecessary problem. you may need to clarify this with that plastic surgeon. insist that he work with you to get this solved, the open sore healed, and proceed with the implants. this is not your problem to solve, it is HIS! this is not your fault. unfurtunately you have to live with it. this can be fixed but it will take time and as a result you will not be able to get on with your life till it is done. i'll be here saying a prayer for you.

You are definately NOT ugly...
I have followed your progress for quite a while and have read the encouraging posts you have written to others on this challenging path. You are a spectacular person no matter what. I'm sure that's not what you are looking for concerning beauty but as a 59 year old woman who spent much to much time and energy on her looks, it is really worth considering. Age is a great equalizer. Growing older and losing control of my looks has been very difficult for me. My husband is very handsome and as I got older people would say, "Your wife is lovely". What does that mean? In the past I would have been called pretty or beautiful. Cancer took care of all that pettiness. I am lovely and proud of it. You will get your breasts back and you will look and feel better. For now, know that you are lovely and hopefully that's enough.

By the way, ask yourself what you would advise your best friend and follow that advise yourself. If you were given bad treatment, give them hell! That's what I would tell my best friend. I am in a support group with Dr. Bernie Seigel who wrote many books on surviving cancer. He was a surgeon at Yale New Haven Hospital and author of books like, "Love, Medicine and Miricles" which was written in the 80s. He also has current books. He talks about survivor behavior. A key component is sticking up for yourself and being a difficult patient. Interesting....Give em hell.

Roseann

ppurdin

Hi Laura
Glad to hear from you again.sorry you are having a hard time.I can not help on this subject.things will get better.When I lost my hair and I gained so much weight.I felt like the uglyiest person in the world.But my hair is back enough to not wear a wig.And I am lossing weight.I am telling you this because things will look up.just beleive in your self.I will pary for you. Pat.

seof

No sure
I am not sure if you have a legal case for neglect, but it does sound like someone dropped the ball. Maybe your insurance company could give you some advice, or ask your surgeon for advice about persuing legal action. It might not be worth the added stress and financial burden to add a legal battle to your cancer battle at this point, but I have no clue about such things. I do know that you are not ugly. Forest Gump may not be your best counsellor at this point, but he does have a good reply to anyone who tries to make you feel badly "ugly is as ugly does".

Live as well as you can for as long as you can. seof

Alexis F

susanleeann said:

so sry you are having trouble
sounds to me like someone at the plastic surgeon's office dropped the ball and you ended up with an unnecessary problem. you may need to clarify this with that plastic surgeon. insist that he work with you to get this solved, the open sore healed, and proceed with the implants. this is not your problem to solve, it is HIS! this is not your fault. unfurtunately you have to live with it. this can be fixed but it will take time and as a result you will not be able to get on with your life till it is done. i'll be here saying a prayer for you.

I am so sorry Laura.
I am so sorry Laura. Praying for you!

Lex

Megan M

seof said:

No sure
I am not sure if you have a legal case for neglect, but it does sound like someone dropped the ball. Maybe your insurance company could give you some advice, or ask your surgeon for advice about persuing legal action. It might not be worth the added stress and financial burden to add a legal battle to your cancer battle at this point, but I have no clue about such things. I do know that you are not ugly. Forest Gump may not be your best counsellor at this point, but he does have a good reply to anyone who tries to make you feel badly "ugly is as ugly does".

Live as well as you can for as long as you can. seof

This is horrible Laura. I
This is horrible Laura. I am sorry this happened. You are not ugly! Please don't even think of that word. I pray that everything works out for you.

Hugs, Megan

MyTurnNow

Laura, it is so good to hear
Laura, it is so good to hear from you. Ugly....no way, you are a beautiful lady. We are not defined by our breasts and therefore please don't do that to yourself. I'm not certain about a malpractice either. Giving your surgeon hell...yes, I think that is warranted. I'm sending you strength to get through this trying time and please know that you will be whole again. It is just going to take a little longer than expected. You are a beautiful lady and I'm sure you can get that confirmation from your children. Take care and sending a big (((HUG))) your way!!

marilyndbk

Hi Laura. I am so sorry you
Hi Laura. I am so sorry you are having to go thru this. I had my exchange surgery 2 weeks ago, almost 6 mos from bilateral mastectomy. I was scheduled for the end of April. They had a cancellation and was able to move surgery up. I was so glad to have the expanders finally out and sending positive thoughts and prayers that you will be feeling better soon. Take care. Marilyn