DCIS

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gailp123
gailp123 Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am 46 and was diagnosed with DCIS in Jan. What a rollarcoaster. Cancer- Precancer, I have heard both, what is it? One biopsy, lumpectomy later, lots of scars and radiation coming down the pike,I think I would define DCIS as cancer. So why do I suddenly feel so guilty feeling sad? I have been in great spirits but suddenly it is like I crashed into a wall. Tears come and I do not know why. I know people are trying to be helpful but if I hear "you are so strong, you will be fine" once more I am going to scream!!! I am strong and I will be fine but right now it sucks!! I feel guilty feeling sad, I don't feel like I have the right to be sad or call myself a cancer survivor since I have not lost my hair, I do not need chemo yet something has changed my life.I find out if my margins were clear today, I hope I am done with the surgeries.

Comments

  • lucks
    lucks Member Posts: 10
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    Me too!
    Hi Galip, it sounds like we are in the same boat. I was diagnosed DCIS Jan. 19, had lumpetomy on Feb. 16 & YAY clear margins with me which I found out this past Monday. You have to be proactive and try to read everything possible and ask the doctors/nurses/pharmacists everybody in the medical field any quesions you have. My next appt. is this Tues. with radiologist. Good luck with you and I am sure you will have clear margins like me!
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
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    Welcome Galip and Lucks.
    Welcome Galip and Lucks. I'm glad you found us so we can help guide you through your journey. DCIS is pre-cancer but nontheless it is cancer. You have a right to feel the way you do and this is exactly the place to come to vent or request information. You probably won't have to have chemo but rads are probably in your future. All of this is very doable and all I can recommend is to just take it one day at a time. We'll be here as your "kindred spirits" to hold your hand along the way. Take care.
  • EveningStar2
    EveningStar2 Member Posts: 491 Member
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    welcome
    I am about a year ahead of you: DCIS diagnosis in January of 2009. Yes, it's cancer and yes, you are a survivor and can wear pink. If you look at some of the old threads, this is not a new discussion--but it is for you. And I do know about the "guilty" feeling. It's OK we all have a different journey.

    Maureen
  • terri805
    terri805 Member Posts: 122
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    I can relate
    I was dx with DCIS in Dec 2009. I had two lumpectomies in one month. The first had clear margins but yet was too close for the dr's comfort so he removed more tissue. I go for rad simulation tomorrow and start rad treatment on Monday for 33 treatments. I am still on a rollercoaster of emotions. Somedays I am in denial to make myself feel better by telling myself and others who ask " I have precancer,stage 0"."It's not cancer yet" but in my mind I am saying to myself yes this is cancer and it could come back as invasive or it could just come back as DCIS again and it could this and it could that,etc. Sometimes I get myself so worked up I become anxious and feel doom and gloom.Then on other days I tell myself to stop having a pity party and get on with life already and that there are so many people on this site that have and are going through so much more than I could ever imagine and they are being brave and are getting through it and so will I. I also understand about when you say people are trying to be helpful and encouraging by saying "you are strong and blah blah blah". My husband is one of those. When I was first dx he was very concerned and so nice and now he feels that it is no big deal because it is "precancer" and "the dr said that lumpectomy and radiation brings you back to the chances of getting it again is like someone who has never had it before getting it". So he thinks basically all is over and everything is as was. Well not for me. I still have to go through radiation and the emotional feelings of worrying if it is going to come back and then for the followup mammo's and the anxiety of the results and so on and so on. I don't think I will ever feel like I did before but I refuse to dwell on it.It's just frustrating when people try to downplay something that they know nothing about and have never gone down the path but try to tell you "oh you will be fine and just be glad you this and that". I am thankful that I at this point have been spared what others have to endure but it is not a "cakewalk" either. I have decided that I will continue on my battle with or without the support of others and just do what I have to do. My family (kids,husband,and sister) all seem to have the idea that all is well for me now and dx is old news to them and they have moved on with their lives as though nothing has happened even though my life has been changed forever. Gailp123,i hope you hear good news about your margins today.
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
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    terri805 said:

    I can relate
    I was dx with DCIS in Dec 2009. I had two lumpectomies in one month. The first had clear margins but yet was too close for the dr's comfort so he removed more tissue. I go for rad simulation tomorrow and start rad treatment on Monday for 33 treatments. I am still on a rollercoaster of emotions. Somedays I am in denial to make myself feel better by telling myself and others who ask " I have precancer,stage 0"."It's not cancer yet" but in my mind I am saying to myself yes this is cancer and it could come back as invasive or it could just come back as DCIS again and it could this and it could that,etc. Sometimes I get myself so worked up I become anxious and feel doom and gloom.Then on other days I tell myself to stop having a pity party and get on with life already and that there are so many people on this site that have and are going through so much more than I could ever imagine and they are being brave and are getting through it and so will I. I also understand about when you say people are trying to be helpful and encouraging by saying "you are strong and blah blah blah". My husband is one of those. When I was first dx he was very concerned and so nice and now he feels that it is no big deal because it is "precancer" and "the dr said that lumpectomy and radiation brings you back to the chances of getting it again is like someone who has never had it before getting it". So he thinks basically all is over and everything is as was. Well not for me. I still have to go through radiation and the emotional feelings of worrying if it is going to come back and then for the followup mammo's and the anxiety of the results and so on and so on. I don't think I will ever feel like I did before but I refuse to dwell on it.It's just frustrating when people try to downplay something that they know nothing about and have never gone down the path but try to tell you "oh you will be fine and just be glad you this and that". I am thankful that I at this point have been spared what others have to endure but it is not a "cakewalk" either. I have decided that I will continue on my battle with or without the support of others and just do what I have to do. My family (kids,husband,and sister) all seem to have the idea that all is well for me now and dx is old news to them and they have moved on with their lives as though nothing has happened even though my life has been changed forever. Gailp123,i hope you hear good news about your margins today.

    Terri, it's unfortunate but
    Terri, it's unfortunate but unless "you have walked in our shoes" you typically just don't get it. But, you are lucky because we DO get it. Please come here often and we will help you get through your journey. ((((Hugs)))) sent your way. Take care.
  • crselby
    crselby Member Posts: 441 Member
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    to gailp and lucks
    Hello, gailp and lucks. I just want to say that I had DCIS dx-ed in June 2009 so I know that a Lumpectomy with clear margins is a VERY good thing. I then went for brachytherapy radiation. It was over in 5 days. It is a kind of radiation entirely suitable to stage 0 (DCIS) or stage 1 breast cancers. Your life moves away from being consumed by dealing with this disease before you know it. Not back to 'normal', as you were before, but back to sanity, anyway! Please look into brachytherapy and ask your radiation oncologists about it.

    I too felt sadness (self-pity I think) when treatments were all over. Trust me, your mood improves with time. Reading the stories of other women here has made me thankful that 'all' I had was DCIS. Yes I think about recurrances but I will not waste my future 'borrowing worry'. Does that make sense? I've just completed my 6 month mammo and MRI. Mammo looks good, MRI shows something suspicious that was there before my July lumpectomy but gone when he tried to biopsy it. Just one of those elusive ghost thing-ys. I'm not concerned about it at all. Just requires a follow up MRI in 6 months instead of a year later.

    I hope my post will help you believe that things do look better as time goes by. But having this site to come to was part of my healing. So use it as often as you need. Good luck in your journeys.
    ~~Connie~~
  • jikaras
    jikaras Member Posts: 58
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    DCIS
    gailp123, I also had DCIS; it was first discovered in one breast, then after more tests, it was found in the other. I was not a candidate for a lympectomy, as the cancer had attached itself to my nipple. Surgery was January 2009

    I did the mastecomy, no radiation or chemo.

    While I feel fortunate that I didn't have to go through the chemo and radiation, I still feel a loss and consider myself a cancer survivor......Your life has changed/trust me - you are strong and you have a bunch of friends who are here for you!

    Jill
  • Gloria09
    Gloria09 Member Posts: 190
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    gailp & lucks
    I was diagnosed with DCIS stage zero in Nov '09. I had the biopsy, lumpectomy and just finished rads a week ago yesterday. I've had most of the same questions and feelings you are dealing with. Thought I was a fraud and didn't feel I had the right to cry and have the emotions I was having. I was reassured these thoughts and feelings are all normal and am okay with them now. Don't worry if you get angry, frustrated, have self pitty, sadness, etc. It is all part of the process that you will learn from, grow stronger from and become a better person from.

    We are all human and deal with whatever comes our way - in our own way. We are individuals with different hearts and souls. No one can tell us (nor can we tell anyone else) we are right or wrong to have the feelings we have for any situation. I've learned not to worry about what "they" say and to focus on the needs to better the situation. I may be alone or have lots of support but either way I will get through it all.

    The support in this room is awesome! Visit, talk, vent, listen and learn from those who have walked in your shoes and one day you will offer support to those joining behind you with the same fears and questions. We are all here for each other!

    Someone once told me; "pink is not a color ... it's an attitude"
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
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    It's easy to be hard on yourself.
    So many of these wonderful women have gone through so much - so much more than me (lumpectomy, radiation) but as they have told me, cancer is cancer. A little bit or a whole lot. The emotional toll is huge and it changes everything.

    Always come here without guilt, never feel inadequate, always feel welcome.

    Sue
  • jbug
    jbug Member Posts: 285
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    gailp & lucks
    Hi Gals and welcome! I started my journey in Nov 09, diagnosed w/IDC and DCIS Stage 1. I also didn't have to have chemo, had a lumpectomy and finished rads in Jan and have started tamoxifen. I remember the feeling of a loss of myself, like I am a different person now that i have cancer...no one truly 'gets' what that means unless they have walked in those shoes. I think the tears are cleansing and necessary...you have to grieve the loss of the health you thought you had and find a new normal.

    Another struggle I had was feeling guilty because I didn't have to have chemo and go thru all that others did. I felt like i should be happy and not upset. But the bottom line is that bc is bc, no matter what form it takes!

    There are lots of women here to support both of you thru your journey. Sign on anytime, 24/7...God Bless both of you!
    Julie
  • gailp123
    gailp123 Member Posts: 2
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    jbug said:

    gailp & lucks
    Hi Gals and welcome! I started my journey in Nov 09, diagnosed w/IDC and DCIS Stage 1. I also didn't have to have chemo, had a lumpectomy and finished rads in Jan and have started tamoxifen. I remember the feeling of a loss of myself, like I am a different person now that i have cancer...no one truly 'gets' what that means unless they have walked in those shoes. I think the tears are cleansing and necessary...you have to grieve the loss of the health you thought you had and find a new normal.

    Another struggle I had was feeling guilty because I didn't have to have chemo and go thru all that others did. I felt like i should be happy and not upset. But the bottom line is that bc is bc, no matter what form it takes!

    There are lots of women here to support both of you thru your journey. Sign on anytime, 24/7...God Bless both of you!
    Julie

    DCIS
    Thank-you all so much for you thoughtful and supportive responses. I am so thankful that I finally hit the emotional wall, couldn't sleep and found this site, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It is so hard to explain the guilt, yet so many have described feeling it. It is nice to finally feel normal. Waiting to hear about margins,hopefully tomorrow, no news today. I am sure I will have good days and bad days, it is so nice to know there are so many women available to support me through all of this. Thank-you.
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
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    welcome
    I am about a year ahead of you: DCIS diagnosis in January of 2009. Yes, it's cancer and yes, you are a survivor and can wear pink. If you look at some of the old threads, this is not a new discussion--but it is for you. And I do know about the "guilty" feeling. It's OK we all have a different journey.

    Maureen

    Welcome! Cancer is cancer,
    Welcome! Cancer is cancer, whether it is ductal, invasive or whatever else. You go thru the same feelings as anyone. Good luck with your treatment!
  • Wolfi
    Wolfi Member Posts: 425
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    DCIS = cancer
    Gailp123,

    I don't care what anyone says, I consider DCIS cancer. I have not lost my hair either, but I have lost both breasts. DO NOT feel guilty about feeling sad. You have that right. Be sad, angry, happy, crazy, and scream if you need to because you can. You are a survivor and don't let anyone tell you differently.

    Congrats on the clear margins - that's what we all want to hear.

    Take care.
  • Wolfi
    Wolfi Member Posts: 425
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    Double post
    Ooops.
  • CPT
    CPT Member Posts: 5
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    DCIS
    Hi All,I was dx in May 2009 at age 52, biopsy,lumpectomy,2nd lumpectomy because of margin's,genetic testing(neg.),and rad's finished in Aug. I to felt guilty, my Onocologist said stage 0, pre cancer, which confused me more, but my Rad's Onocoligist said to me CA is CA, so that helped. I also had to deal with the guilt per say of thankfully having mine found so early by mammagram, you see my Sister died 10 yrs ago at age 52,(dx @ age 50) from very invasive CA, she had indured a massectomy, 24 of 25 lumpth nod's involved,Chemo, rad's, Stem Cell Transplant, then chemo again. I felt so guilty, but also so fortunate, the surgeon recommended lumpectomy,saying so much had changed since then, very small % of women not getting a clear margin, after going threw tx, I would have preferred a massectomy, I had wanted to have originally, but sounded like it would be a breeze,not so.Realize that rad's can/do cause burning,blistering, it does heal quikly once you're not getting zapped daily/tx ends, you also get quite exhasted and that can last for up to a year, your energy comes back slowly, you have to allow youself to rest. I've been very Blessed to have been diagniosed so early, but it did knock me off my feet and it's taking a while to get fully back in the swing of thing's. God work's in mysterious way's, our Daughter recieved her 1st Foster child (3 days old)@ the time of my dx,she will be adopting her soon, she's been such a Blessing for all of us, I know what a gift we've recieve. I pray that I won't have to deal with further CA, if we do, we'll have to take it one day at a time,sometime's it's hard to let yourself deal with the fact that you ARE a Cancer SURVIVOR, make time for yourself, take care of YOU. Best Wishes.......
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
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    CPT said:

    DCIS
    Hi All,I was dx in May 2009 at age 52, biopsy,lumpectomy,2nd lumpectomy because of margin's,genetic testing(neg.),and rad's finished in Aug. I to felt guilty, my Onocologist said stage 0, pre cancer, which confused me more, but my Rad's Onocoligist said to me CA is CA, so that helped. I also had to deal with the guilt per say of thankfully having mine found so early by mammagram, you see my Sister died 10 yrs ago at age 52,(dx @ age 50) from very invasive CA, she had indured a massectomy, 24 of 25 lumpth nod's involved,Chemo, rad's, Stem Cell Transplant, then chemo again. I felt so guilty, but also so fortunate, the surgeon recommended lumpectomy,saying so much had changed since then, very small % of women not getting a clear margin, after going threw tx, I would have preferred a massectomy, I had wanted to have originally, but sounded like it would be a breeze,not so.Realize that rad's can/do cause burning,blistering, it does heal quikly once you're not getting zapped daily/tx ends, you also get quite exhasted and that can last for up to a year, your energy comes back slowly, you have to allow youself to rest. I've been very Blessed to have been diagniosed so early, but it did knock me off my feet and it's taking a while to get fully back in the swing of thing's. God work's in mysterious way's, our Daughter recieved her 1st Foster child (3 days old)@ the time of my dx,she will be adopting her soon, she's been such a Blessing for all of us, I know what a gift we've recieve. I pray that I won't have to deal with further CA, if we do, we'll have to take it one day at a time,sometime's it's hard to let yourself deal with the fact that you ARE a Cancer SURVIVOR, make time for yourself, take care of YOU. Best Wishes.......

    Did you find out if your
    Did you find out if your margins are clean? Please post and let us know!


    Praying for you!


    Hugs, leeza