babble

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prv
prv Member Posts: 107
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Do you mind if I babble? I am extremely tired - have 5 more rads with 5 more boosters to go. No one to really talk to. I have red sore skin with focal peeling (I have been putting on the cream)I have been working full time throughout chemo and rads but took this week off as vacation to be with my daughter. My stomach is still bothering me since chemo on an off. but it is better now i think. I have horrible fears that my cancer has gone to my stomach, but my gi doc says its the chemo and he doesn't think i need to go to endoscopy (finished chemo Dec 8). My hair is starting to come back so I am comfortable without wig in my home. My nails are a mess but they say they will grow back. I am worried about my finances and losing my job as the workload has greatly decreased. Plus my boss does not like me. My daughter was diagnosed with precous puberty while i was getting chemo in november but she did not have a brain tumor (thank god). She just needs a shot once a month to slow down her development. She is 7 yrs old and i am a single mom. my babysitter was overcharging me so now i am keeping track of everything myself and looking for new child care. I think she was taking advantage of my situation. I am exhausted and don't feel like doing anything. my house is a mess and i feel bad for my kid. Somedays there are more dishes in the sink then on the shelves! I went into work yesterday and will go into work today for a little bit to finish something up. some vacation, huh? I thought I was doing a good job with all this cancer stuff, maybe i am just in a slump. My onc doc says that it takes about three weeks after the last rad to start to get energy back. Thanks for listening - maybe i'll go wash some dishes now!

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  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
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    Hey PRV
    Sounds like you are

    Hey PRV
    Sounds like you are a tired lady....there is a free cleaning service on the posts here
    that some people have used , Cleaning for a Reason? I think? You should look up the link and give them a call. This disease is so exhausting. You deserve some help.
    Dee
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
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    dyaneb123 said:

    Hey PRV
    Sounds like you are

    Hey PRV
    Sounds like you are a tired lady....there is a free cleaning service on the posts here
    that some people have used , Cleaning for a Reason? I think? You should look up the link and give them a call. This disease is so exhausting. You deserve some help.
    Dee

    PRV
    Even the best sports

    PRV

    Even the best sports players have slumps now and again so I would guess that it is okay for us to have them too. And it is not unusual to have all these fears press in on you at this point. I am sorry though that you are feeling down and having these worries. I would love to wish them all away for you but I cannot. But I will keep you in my prayers and good thoughts that your spirits lift and that none of your worries come to pass. If you are going in to work on your vacation will you get that time back to use later. I know that you are concerned about your job but don't let your boss take advantage of you. Vacation time is just that and if you go into job then that time should go back into your vacation bank. I hope you find better child care. It is appalling that someone would take advantage of your situation, but karma will take care of that. Glad you found out because this is not the kind of person you want to be watching your child. And what good news that she did not have a brain tumor. That would be a mother's worst nightmare. Rest as much as you can and look into the cleaning for a reason suggestion. Just having someone to do that would be such an assistance for you right now. We are here for you to vent and share your concerns. HOpe that things get better real soon.
    Stef
  • Flakey_Flake
    Flakey_Flake Member Posts: 130
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    Help
    Hey PRV! You are entitled to come babble anytime. You do need some help. Some things we are not meant to go through on our own. Don't you have relatives or friends that would be willing to lend a hand? It is hard to ask for help sometimes, but the reality is that people like to feel helpful and needed. Your clinic should have a client social worker who can direct you to sources of help. And those people have pretty big shoulders - I've cried on them more than once. One thing I've found that helps when I feel down is to give my son a big hug and tell him I love him. It really sucks that you think your boss doesn't like you. You sound like you are a good and contientious worker, going in to take care of things while on vacation. I lost my job six months before being diagnosed. I was going back to school, but the whole cancer thing put the kibosh on that. Chemo Brain has done me in. But we will all get through somehow. You sound to me like you are a strong and adaptable person. You have to be to raise a child on your own like you are. Just don't think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. It isn't. Asking for help when you need it shows you are resourseful and intelligent. If your babysitter is taking advantage of you - find a different one. There are good people in this world. You are one of them, and if you look you will find them. Keep in touch, PRV. There are brighter days ahead.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
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    Help
    Hey PRV! You are entitled to come babble anytime. You do need some help. Some things we are not meant to go through on our own. Don't you have relatives or friends that would be willing to lend a hand? It is hard to ask for help sometimes, but the reality is that people like to feel helpful and needed. Your clinic should have a client social worker who can direct you to sources of help. And those people have pretty big shoulders - I've cried on them more than once. One thing I've found that helps when I feel down is to give my son a big hug and tell him I love him. It really sucks that you think your boss doesn't like you. You sound like you are a good and contientious worker, going in to take care of things while on vacation. I lost my job six months before being diagnosed. I was going back to school, but the whole cancer thing put the kibosh on that. Chemo Brain has done me in. But we will all get through somehow. You sound to me like you are a strong and adaptable person. You have to be to raise a child on your own like you are. Just don't think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. It isn't. Asking for help when you need it shows you are resourseful and intelligent. If your babysitter is taking advantage of you - find a different one. There are good people in this world. You are one of them, and if you look you will find them. Keep in touch, PRV. There are brighter days ahead.

    I am tired just reading
    I am tired just reading this. You are doing a great job and have so much on your plate! working, single parent, etc... look into the cleaning service and shame on your babysitter
  • jbug
    jbug Member Posts: 285
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    PRV
    Sounds like you got a FULL plate! You have lots of reasons to be absolutely exausted. Sending smiles and (((((hugs))))))))))!
    God Bless...
    Julie
  • aztec45
    aztec45 Member Posts: 757
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    I Feel
    I feel so bad for you. I wish I could do something to help you. Sounds like you need a hand. When it rains it pours. But things will get better. Look into the cleaning service. Also, do you have some friends or co-workers who could help you out some? Come on here and blab anytime.

    Take care,

    P
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
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    I remember
    how I felt back then and I am married without children and didn't have a job then.
    It wiped me out and most of the time I felt like I only had enough strength to move around the house,I took a sponge bath most of the time because showers took too much energy(they were reserved for days before appointments and chemo days when I felt like I really had to be clean),and trying to eat and drink.
    Our house went to pot except for the days when I had enough energy to maybe do some laundry or something.We had REALLY simple meals.
    I can't imagine how it would be to be a single mom going through all of that-my hat is off to you and I admire the fact that you are trying!
    I agree with the other ladies-look into the cleaning program.And don't worry if things get messy-clean whatever whenever you have the energy to.The fact that you are still trying to live-because you have to-as much a "normal" life as you can is really something to be admired!
    Hang in there...