hair falling out

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JanInMN
JanInMN Member Posts: 149
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I'm sure many of you have gone through this. My hair started falling out today. I thought I was ready for it, but I'm sitting here sobbing. I know it is all part of the whole chemo thing. i am scheduled for my wig fitting tomorrow, so that was good timing. They will shave my head for me, and my best friend is going with me. I just feel sad.

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  • pattimc
    pattimc Member Posts: 431
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    Of course....
    You feel sad. It's only natural. No matter how much think "it's only hair" blah, blah, blah...when it happens it's traumatic.

    I hope your day shopping for a wig with your best friend is fun.

    Your dogs are cute!!
  • JanInMN
    JanInMN Member Posts: 149
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    pattimc said:

    Of course....
    You feel sad. It's only natural. No matter how much think "it's only hair" blah, blah, blah...when it happens it's traumatic.

    I hope your day shopping for a wig with your best friend is fun.

    Your dogs are cute!!

    thanks...my dogs are good
    thanks...my dogs are good for keeping my spirits up...
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
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    It is sad Jan...and scary to
    It is sad Jan...and scary to actually see the effects of the drugs...I cried in the salon
    when I first saw my shaved head...but then, I put on my pretty new wig...and learned to ignor it. The hair will come back. Mine's almost to losing the wig length after 4 1/2 months.The ironic thing is that people tell me I should just keep the wig because it looks so good on me...talk about a backwards compliment!
  • LadyParvati
    LadyParvati Member Posts: 328
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    You always hope
    I think many of us always hope that our hair won't really fall out, and it can be devastating when it does! Our hair is such a huge part of who we think we are and how we see ourselves; to lose it rocks our identity.

    It's good that you are scheduled for your wig fitting tomorrow and that your best friend is going with you--make it a party! If you can, let your sense of humor loose while they shave your head, laugh a lot, and celebrate this part of your adventure with your dear friend. If you can't laugh about it yet, accept your grief and recognize that it is valid for you to grieve the loss of your hair, then celebrate your courage with your dear friend. Hope you and your friend can have a nice lunch together afterwards, or before, so that you feel thoroughly nurtured!

    Hugs, Sandy,
    Your Sister Chemo Chick!
  • JanInMN
    JanInMN Member Posts: 149
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    dyaneb123 said:

    It is sad Jan...and scary to
    It is sad Jan...and scary to actually see the effects of the drugs...I cried in the salon
    when I first saw my shaved head...but then, I put on my pretty new wig...and learned to ignor it. The hair will come back. Mine's almost to losing the wig length after 4 1/2 months.The ironic thing is that people tell me I should just keep the wig because it looks so good on me...talk about a backwards compliment!

    when I tried on my wig the
    when I tried on my wig the first time, I said, "this is what I try to get every time I do my hair!". shiny and straight :-). My cousin said she was "hit on" all the time when she was wearing her wig!
  • JanInMN
    JanInMN Member Posts: 149
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    You always hope
    I think many of us always hope that our hair won't really fall out, and it can be devastating when it does! Our hair is such a huge part of who we think we are and how we see ourselves; to lose it rocks our identity.

    It's good that you are scheduled for your wig fitting tomorrow and that your best friend is going with you--make it a party! If you can, let your sense of humor loose while they shave your head, laugh a lot, and celebrate this part of your adventure with your dear friend. If you can't laugh about it yet, accept your grief and recognize that it is valid for you to grieve the loss of your hair, then celebrate your courage with your dear friend. Hope you and your friend can have a nice lunch together afterwards, or before, so that you feel thoroughly nurtured!

    Hugs, Sandy,
    Your Sister Chemo Chick!

    Thanks, Sandy! I am blessed
    Thanks, Sandy! I am blessed to have such a good friend to go with tomorrow. She's helped me through so much of this already. we are lucky to have across the street friends, and online friends.
  • Skeezie
    Skeezie Member Posts: 586 Member
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    JanInMN said:

    Thanks, Sandy! I am blessed
    Thanks, Sandy! I am blessed to have such a good friend to go with tomorrow. She's helped me through so much of this already. we are lucky to have across the street friends, and online friends.

    Hi Janin,
    It is a big deal to lose your hair. I took my wig to my hairdresser and had her trim it to my hair style and thin it a little too. And everyone said my hair has never looked better...and it's true. I felt a little teary but I was so busy with chemo at that point that I got over it pretty fast. BUT when the eyebrows and eyelashes came out after I had my 4th and last chemo in Dec. I sobbed. But they are growing back now and I'm over it. Women are lucky cause eyeliner covers up the no eyelashes and we can put on eyebrows with makeup too.

    I found that my head 'stuck' to the pillow case and my ears would get bent while sleeping. It was suggested on this board to get satin pillow cases and I got them on sale at Penny's and it did really help.

    While going thru chemo I didn't get on the board everyday, sometimes not at all, but when I did I discovered there was always someone who was asking the same questions I had so all I had to do was read...I got so many helpful hints from those who had gone thru it etc. I was on another board (just reading, never joined) and they were so negative that I quit reading it. This board is so full of hope and love that it really is a miracle.

    One thing that is kinda cool, showers and make-up don't take so long and I'm ready quickly, no hair to fool with, just pop on the wig (or hat) and you're out the door. And no more bad hair days for a while. lol

    I'll be thinking about you and praying that your shaving day will be less traumatic. You will be one step closer to recovery!

    Hugs, Judy :-)
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
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    Jan, I know exactly how you
    Jan, I know exactly how you feel. I thought I was prepared for it, too. I cried like a baby the entire time my hairdresser was buzzing my head. Once it was over, I put on my bucket hat and went home. Once my husband and daughter saw me they tried to make me feel better. I have to tell you that you'll get used to it quicker than you think, at least I did. I live in Florida and lost my hair in August last year so because it's so hot here I never purchased a wig. I just wore either headwraps or ball caps. To give you a little bit of encouragement, just this week I quit wearing anything on my head. It's been 4 months since my last chemo. So, there is light at the end of the tunnel and this is just a temporary thing. Try to remember that as you go through this stage. Good luck to you and your friend tomorrow!! You can do it!!
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
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    Jan
    So sorry you're feeling down. No matter how prepared we think we are, we never really know how we're going to react to the things we encounter on this journey until we're there.

    Having your friend with you will help immensely. Going shopping for hats and scarves always lifted my spirits as well (I do have a wig, but don't wear it often).

    Check out the t-shirt I'm wearing in my pic. It says "Cute Bald Chick Kickin' Cancer's Butt!". Wearing it, even just around the house reminds me that there's a good reason for my loss of hair and thinking of it as just part of the fight somehow makes me feel better.

    Sending you (((Huge Hugs)))

    Cindy
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
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    Jan
    So sorry you're feeling down. No matter how prepared we think we are, we never really know how we're going to react to the things we encounter on this journey until we're there.

    Having your friend with you will help immensely. Going shopping for hats and scarves always lifted my spirits as well (I do have a wig, but don't wear it often).

    Check out the t-shirt I'm wearing in my pic. It says "Cute Bald Chick Kickin' Cancer's Butt!". Wearing it, even just around the house reminds me that there's a good reason for my loss of hair and thinking of it as just part of the fight somehow makes me feel better.

    Sending you (((Huge Hugs)))

    Cindy

    I feel for you
    I feel for you and know exactly the feeling--it happened to me--losing my hair was horrible and I think it is because we have no control over what chemo does. We have control over what type of surgery and treatment we want--to an extent.

    Tip for you--even after your head is shaved you will have hair follicles falling out and they might feel like pins so invest in a lint brush that had the tape and roll it on your head several times a day. It really help.

    My hair started growing back while I was on Taxol. I shaved end of March and by the end of July I would say my hair was maybe a little longer than an inch. I then had my first hair cut in November.
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508
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    Boy, can I relate!
    I remember feeling very strong. I knew it was going to happen, but I think in the back of my mind, I was hoping it wouldn't... that somehow I would be different and I wouldn't lose it. Like you, I posted the morning my hair started to fall out. I was in the shower rinsing my hair and I pulled out large clumps of it. I started crying in the shower and then balling for about an hour afterwards. I had a horrible wig that I ordered online that I knew I wouldn't wear. I called my best friend and we made an appt at a wig salon for that morning. We went and really had a good time. I got my head shaved as I knew I didn't want to endure another clump in my hand. He gave me a REAL short buzz because I wasn't ready to see myself totally bald. They all made comments of how cute it looked short and everyone loved the wig I picked out. There was a lot of laughing. It was fun.

    Now, it's very funny, but my cat has decided he wants to keep my head warm. His favorite place to sleep is behind my head! It's as though he feels it's his job. It's really cute.

    I don't think I would ever get used to having no hair, but it does get easier. I hope you'll have as much fun as I did with your friend... it's all what we make of it! You seem to be very positive & upbeat and I get the feeling you'll be just fine!

    Hugs, Mar
  • JanInMN
    JanInMN Member Posts: 149
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    I feel for you
    I feel for you and know exactly the feeling--it happened to me--losing my hair was horrible and I think it is because we have no control over what chemo does. We have control over what type of surgery and treatment we want--to an extent.

    Tip for you--even after your head is shaved you will have hair follicles falling out and they might feel like pins so invest in a lint brush that had the tape and roll it on your head several times a day. It really help.

    My hair started growing back while I was on Taxol. I shaved end of March and by the end of July I would say my hair was maybe a little longer than an inch. I then had my first hair cut in November.

    Thanks for the lint brush
    Thanks for the lint brush advice. I'll get one today. :-)
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
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    Hi Jan
    I remember my hair started falling out. I would sit at work and run my hands through it and it would come out in handfulls. It is a scary feeling and nobody really understands it but you. When I said my hair hurt, people thought I was nuts. Again, nobody understands it but you. I had my stylist shave my head and work on the wig, so it looked nice, but that night my brother shaved what the stylist had left behind. It was upsetting to my 87 year old Mom, but we had a few laughs doing it. Just be assured, it does grow back. Actually, I've been letting mine grow so Friday I'm getting my first real styling to it. Its always been pin straight, now its wavy, and I don't know what to do with it! Good luck to you tomorrow and I understand exactly how you are feeling and why you are sad. But I bet you will look stunning in the wig!
    Hugs - Pat
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
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    I thought I was ready, too
    I don't think you can ever really be prepared. Go ahead and sob. Then get some nice scarves, hats, or a wig -- whatever you feel comfortable with. This a step that indicates the chemo is in your system killing those rogue cells. It's a tough time for you right now, but you will make it through this. I've been in your shoes.

    Mimi
  • GayleMc
    GayleMc Member Posts: 311 Member
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    mimivac said:

    I thought I was ready, too
    I don't think you can ever really be prepared. Go ahead and sob. Then get some nice scarves, hats, or a wig -- whatever you feel comfortable with. This a step that indicates the chemo is in your system killing those rogue cells. It's a tough time for you right now, but you will make it through this. I've been in your shoes.

    Mimi

    I had pretty much decided,
    I had pretty much decided, foolishly, that I was going to be one of the rare ones who never really lose it all. I got my hair cut very short before my 1st chemo and really liked it that way. Yesterday was two weeks since chemo and sure enought it is coming out. fortunately I do like my new wig very much so I'm ready. Will go tomorrow to have my hairdresser buzz it off. Like Marlene, I don't think I'm ready to see myself bald so I will see how short she can buzz it or hopefully I'll have the guts to just do it!!!! I just love this site and can't tell you how much it has helped.
  • GayleMc
    GayleMc Member Posts: 311 Member
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    mimivac said:

    I thought I was ready, too
    I don't think you can ever really be prepared. Go ahead and sob. Then get some nice scarves, hats, or a wig -- whatever you feel comfortable with. This a step that indicates the chemo is in your system killing those rogue cells. It's a tough time for you right now, but you will make it through this. I've been in your shoes.

    Mimi

    I had pretty much decided,
    I had pretty much decided, foolishly, that I was going to be one of the rare ones who never really lose it all. I got my hair cut very short before my 1st chemo and really liked it that way. Yesterday was two weeks since chemo and sure enought it is coming out. fortunately I do like my new wig very much so I'm ready. Will go tomorrow to have my hairdresser buzz it off. Like Marlene, I don't think I'm ready to see myself bald so I will see how short she can buzz it or hopefully I'll have the guts to just do it!!!! I just love this site and can't tell you how much it has helped.
  • GayleMc
    GayleMc Member Posts: 311 Member
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    mimivac said:

    I thought I was ready, too
    I don't think you can ever really be prepared. Go ahead and sob. Then get some nice scarves, hats, or a wig -- whatever you feel comfortable with. This a step that indicates the chemo is in your system killing those rogue cells. It's a tough time for you right now, but you will make it through this. I've been in your shoes.

    Mimi

    I had pretty much decided,
    I had pretty much decided, foolishly, that I was going to be one of the rare ones who never really lose it all. I got my hair cut very short before my 1st chemo and really liked it that way. Yesterday was two weeks since chemo and sure enought it is coming out. fortunately I do like my new wig very much so I'm ready. Will go tomorrow to have my hairdresser buzz it off. Like Marlene, I don't think I'm ready to see myself bald so I will see how short she can buzz it or hopefully I'll have the guts to just do it!!!! I just love this site and can't tell you how much it has helped. Sorry about the multiple posting. My computer decvided to act up and I wasn't sure what was wrong!!!!
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
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    GayleMc said:

    I had pretty much decided,
    I had pretty much decided, foolishly, that I was going to be one of the rare ones who never really lose it all. I got my hair cut very short before my 1st chemo and really liked it that way. Yesterday was two weeks since chemo and sure enought it is coming out. fortunately I do like my new wig very much so I'm ready. Will go tomorrow to have my hairdresser buzz it off. Like Marlene, I don't think I'm ready to see myself bald so I will see how short she can buzz it or hopefully I'll have the guts to just do it!!!! I just love this site and can't tell you how much it has helped.

    I didnt want to deal with
    I didnt want to deal with the clumps so I had it buzzed before and had the wig done at the same place. I was so sick during chemo that I rarely wore my wig, just too much effort. I had other issues along with the chemo. and pretty much was home anyway. Now that i am done with chemo and feel better, I have finally cried about the hair. go figure that would be me!!!! I guess i felt so depleted I could not worry about the hair. It is really a big deal it is a visable sign that you have cancer. and a huge part of your identity. But along the way I am less self concious, I forget i have the scarf on. It can also get you some perks so take them LOL