A funny from another board....

KathiM
KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
This was just too funny not to share! Enjoy!

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips. Unfortunately,
like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally
unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear
wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Sanservino,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the
store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are
documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts
when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her
assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted
in a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company
money.

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

August 15: Set up a tent in the Camping Department and told the shoppers’ children
he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the Bedding
Department, to which twenty children obliged.

August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while
he picked his nose.

September 10: While handling guns in the Hunting Department, he asked the clerk
where the anti-depressants were.

October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.

October 6: In the Auto Department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using
different sizes of funnels.

October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK
ME! PICK ME!'

October 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal
position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.


Hugs, Kathi

Comments

  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member
    #2
    Stop making me laugh, it hurst my stoma!!!!!!
    Can;t blame your husband; I don't like to go shopping with girlfriend either. I'm in and out when shopping for myself, she can spend an hour on what color(s) lipstick to get.....Steve
  • GOOFYLADIE
    GOOFYLADIE Member Posts: 232 Member
    #3
    coloCan said:

    Stop making me laugh, it hurst my stoma!!!!!!
    Can;t blame your husband; I don't like to go shopping with girlfriend either. I'm in and out when shopping for myself, she can spend an hour on what color(s) lipstick to get.....Steve

    LOL
    Too Funny, are they sure it wasn't my three boys!
    Goofyladie (Cass)
    For Reals They used to act up, just so I would leave until one day, this was when they were all quite a bit younger and I had had it. I looked at the sales clerk and winked, and I started acting just like they were acting but at the sales counter with all the customers around waiting to be waited on. My boys jumped to my side pleading, mom will be good please stop it. We we won't do it any more. I never had a problem shopping with my three boys again. It was at Mervyns by the way as I walked out all the Customers clapped. LOL

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