I Laughed So Much That My Ribs Hurt

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Different Ballgame
Different Ballgame Member Posts: 868
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I believe in laughter and I believe that laughter heals. I laughed so much that my sides hurt and I had to stop reading many times before I could resume again. I hope that this has same effect on you that it did with me. The story begins as follows:

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips. Unfortunately,
like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally
unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear
wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Sanservino,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the
store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are
documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts
when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her
assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted
in a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company
money.

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

August 15: Set up a tent in the Camping Department and told the shoppers’ children
he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the Bedding
Department, to which twenty children obliged.

August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while
he picked his nose.

September 10: While handling guns in the Hunting Department, he asked the clerk
where the anti-depressants were.

October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.

October 6: In the Auto Department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using
different sizes of funnels.

October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK
ME! PICK ME!'

October 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal
position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

I sent the above to my Adopted Doctor - My #1 Doctor - who is also my plastic surgeon. He particularly liked October 23 episode.

Fondly,
Janelle
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Comments

  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
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    OMG
    This has to be the funniest thing I have ever read! Thanks Janelle!

    I am still laughing. lol

    Sue :):):):)
  • shortscake
    shortscake Member Posts: 228
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    love it
    I love it so funny...thanks i need that...lol...girl power
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
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    love it
    I love it so funny...thanks i need that...lol...girl power

    This was too funny. I loved
    This was too funny. I loved it.
    Stef
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
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    I am laughing sooooo hard!!!
    Thanks for the BIG laughs!!!

    Hugs, Kathi

    (I agree on laughter...it is the reason I survived to this day!!!)
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508
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    Great way to start my day...
    Laughing is great medicine! Thanks for starting my day with a little healing power :)

    Hugs ~ Mar
  • jk1952
    jk1952 Member Posts: 613
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    Marlene_K said:

    Great way to start my day...
    Laughing is great medicine! Thanks for starting my day with a little healing power :)

    Hugs ~ Mar

    I loved this. Thanks for

    I loved this. Thanks for passing it on.

    Joyce
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
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    Great way to start the day!
    Great way to start the day! thanks for sharing. I'm with you laughter can be the best medicine.
  • GrandmaJ
    GrandmaJ Member Posts: 209
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    Laughter
    LOVE IT !!! Feels good to laugh so hard. Thanks Janelle.

    Judy
  • Booberta
    Booberta Member Posts: 61
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    GrandmaJ said:

    Laughter
    LOVE IT !!! Feels good to laugh so hard. Thanks Janelle.

    Judy

    OOOPS!!
    I am so embarassed!! You guys found out about my husband!
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
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    Janelle, I agree with you,
    Janelle, I agree with you, laughter is the best medicine. It releases endorphins that make us feel so much happier and I believe it also exercises the facial muscles. We should all do more of it. With discussions like this one, laughter is a given....very funny, thanks.
  • LadyParvati
    LadyParvati Member Posts: 328
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    LOL!!
    As soon as I'd read through June 15, I began laughing out loud, which led my DH to wonder what I was laughing about! So of course I had to read it to him. We both enjoyed it so much! Thanks for sharing this!

    Hugs! Sandy
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
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    LOL!!
    As soon as I'd read through June 15, I began laughing out loud, which led my DH to wonder what I was laughing about! So of course I had to read it to him. We both enjoyed it so much! Thanks for sharing this!

    Hugs! Sandy

    ☻ROFLMAO☻
    This is hilarious! Thanks for the belly laugh Janelle!</♥</font>

    Love, Jeanne ♥</♥</font>
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
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    Jeanne D said:

    ☻ROFLMAO☻
    This is hilarious! Thanks for the belly laugh Janelle!</♥</font>

    Love, Jeanne ♥</♥</font>

    This is so funny, made me
    This is so funny, made me smile from ear to ear. Now I know whats going on in my hubby's mind when he's out shopping with me. He looks so bored but now I know what he's really thinking. Thanks.
  • newbiefromcananda
    newbiefromcananda Member Posts: 234
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    way to funny!!!!lol
    thank you so much for that!! lol <3 Lisa
  • lisamnovak
    lisamnovak Member Posts: 27
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    OMG!
    THAT IS FABULOUS! I was laughing so hard, I snorted!!! Thanks for sharing!
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
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    OMG!
    THAT IS FABULOUS! I was laughing so hard, I snorted!!! Thanks for sharing!

    Ha Ha!
    This is a riot! Thanks Janelle!

    ♥ Noel
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181 Member
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    This is so funny.
    Thank you for getting a laugh in today.i really needed that today.They are all funny but the fitting room was my favorit.
  • mirj523
    mirj523 Member Posts: 22
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    Laughter is the best medicine
    Janelle Thank God for people like you!!! That was hysterical
  • Wolfi
    Wolfi Member Posts: 425
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    Great!
    This is one to keep as a favorite. (I'm still smiling)

    Thanks!
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
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    Wolfi said:

    Great!
    This is one to keep as a favorite. (I'm still smiling)

    Thanks!

    Oh Janelle
    This is so funny! I am printing this off and passing it around!

    Thanks, Megan