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worriedaboutmom

Hi ladies! You all are so helpful and I love reading all of your advice. I have another question about my mom. She has had her colostomy for about 2 weeks now and she is so depressed and overwhelmed by it. I know it is a big adjustment, but she is just totally upset and depressed and I dont know how to help her. She is also scared because the oncologist said her cancer has returned in her liver and abdomen and it is rapidly progressing. We meet with the oncologist on Thurs to see what can be done. I think he is going to put her back on taxol/carbo since she had such great initial results with that. The cisplat/gemzar did not work. I know she is scared about the chemo not working, and overwhelmed by having to live with the colostomy bag. Any words of advice that anyone can share to help me help this poor lady? She is 73 and all this change has been extremely hard on her. It's so hard to see her this way and I dont know how to help her.

Barbara53

quality of life
Your poor mother! She's depressed for good reasons, and honestly, it may be time to think more in terms of comfort than cure. Talk to your mother's doctor. If they agree that it's appropriate to begin hospice services, do it. You will have a team of experienced pros to help keep your mother comfortable and to provide the special kind of support and day-to-day encouragement she needs. This is a positive decision, not a negative one.

We are in a similar situation. My mother is 79, and she's fought very hard. She's too frail to fight anymore.

More and more, what she enjoys most is quiet conversation. We cover all kinds of territory, and you never know what's coming next. I've heard more family secrets in the last year than in my whole life! When she's feeling bad, I'll sometimes ask about something from her distant past -- the neighborhood in Chicago where she grew up, the Swedish songs her own mother sang to her babies. Next thing you know, she's telling her stories. It's the best part of the day.