scared and anxious

sbmly53

I'm new here. Microcalcifications were found upon routine annual mammo on 10/28/09. Biopsy 11/12, lumpectomy 12/7. Tiny, but sentinal node positive. Also, ER PR pos and (mildly) HER2 pos. Chemo onc ran Onco Dx test and felt that results (very low risk of reoccurance) didn't warrant chemo.
I was both releived and terrified. What if it's wrong? As bad as chemo can be ( and I was totally overwhelmed by the thought of it & the port) maybe I should just do it. Anyway, had my 4th rad today. Only 28 more to go!
I'm tender, itchy, sore, and have real pain from the healing process. I'm exhausted and ... lost. I can't seem to gather enough oomph to get anything accomplished. I have a 3 month FMLA from work, which ends the week before I finish rads. Health ins has been excellent, but, I'm on the phone with the disability & supplemental ins on a regular basis. I sure doesn't pay well!
My friends and family have been supportive, but I don't feel like I can really open up to them. If I actually broke down in front of my husband, I don't think he would know what to do and consider it a sure sign of "things" not going well.
I sure am on a roller coaster.
I have appreciated all the topics and how wonderful you all are to each other.

Sue

Megan M

Hi Sue and Welcome! So
Hi Sue and Welcome! So sorry that you have to go thru this, but, you will find a great group here full of support. They have really helped me. So post when you feel like it or vent, as someone is always on to help you.

Megan

sbmly53

Megan M said:

Hi Sue and Welcome! So
Hi Sue and Welcome! So sorry that you have to go thru this, but, you will find a great group here full of support. They have really helped me. So post when you feel like it or vent, as someone is always on to help you.

Megan

Thank you!
I don't know why, just now, but it all seems to be catching up with me. I'm on the verge of tears... Of course, the rest of life is going on around me, and it just gets to be too much.

Sue

aysemari

sbmly53 said:

Thank you!
I don't know why, just now, but it all seems to be catching up with me. I'm on the verge of tears... Of course, the rest of life is going on around me, and it just gets to be too much.

Sue

So cry, scream....
but let it out. I heard from some women on here that they take long showers, maybe you can
start doing that. Me I live alone and work from, so I can act up and be unruly at any given
time. One of the benefits of living alone.

Process your emotions any which way you find fit and don't worry. This is not small beans.

Lots of hugs

Ayse

laurissa

Hi Sue
You're in my prayers. It is a rough emotional time. Have faith. I was diagnosed in Sept. Seems like a lifetime ago. I'm also triple positive. Just finished chemo, lumpectomy is next then radiation. Good luck to you.

New Flower

laurissa said:

Hi Sue
You're in my prayers. It is a rough emotional time. Have faith. I was diagnosed in Sept. Seems like a lifetime ago. I'm also triple positive. Just finished chemo, lumpectomy is next then radiation. Good luck to you.

Welcome Sue
Try to stay positive. Maybe you can take vacation or work part-time. I think you need to talk to your husband. Family support is very important and open discussion and good conversation about your feelings would only help you to beat cancer and have positive atmosphere around you. As for treatment, you have made your choice for now. You can always go back and change it. You need to feel comfortable with your decision and at peace with what is going on in our life.
Good luck,
New Flower

Angie2U

laurissa said:

Hi Sue
You're in my prayers. It is a rough emotional time. Have faith. I was diagnosed in Sept. Seems like a lifetime ago. I'm also triple positive. Just finished chemo, lumpectomy is next then radiation. Good luck to you.

Hey Sue. I will put you in
Hey Sue. I will put you in my prayers. Good luck!

Big hugs

Angie