Did you ever wonder?

BethInAz

Wondering Why
I think the question "Why" is all a part of our grieving process. I'm sure there are many factors that go into why our bodies succumb to cancer - why our immune system can't handle the battle. As so many of you have noted, poor diet, poor care of our bodies, etc. all must be contributing factors. Coming, as I do, from a Biblical perspective, I'm convinced that since the beginning of Genesis, we are flawed. Our flawed "status" shows up in so many ways and I believe disease is definitely one of them. So, for me, the Why has to go away and I say instead, So what now? I know that God has some work for me to do now - to use this journey as a way to reach out and help others. He's given me a new mission in life and I intend to take Him up on it! So if I wonder why, I immediately know the Why - I have work to do for others!
I know that you all are finding opportunities to help others as well. Blessings in doing that!
Beth

pdv

Trying to Think
I'm trying to think about this as a new adventure that is suppose to bring something good or someone different into my life. I don't think there is a rhyme or reason to this disease...it just is what it is.

Pat

kms3566

pinkkari09 said:

You know I have found myself
You know I have found myself wondering, and it brings me to a bad place. I think, did I smoke too much, did I party to hard in my day, boy I was a big drinker once upon a time, did all those processed foods I ate do it, was it all the warm bottles of water in my car that I drank, was it my extremely stressful lifestyle, was it all the vitamins I took.....I could go on and on and on with all the things I put my body through that in my mind I could blame the cancer on but all in all we have no answer, we have no cure, we just have good doctors and great treatment programs. I'm anxious to change my lifestyle drastically. First I have to get through this battle. I really want to join a gym, any advice on how to cover your bald sweaty head in a gym, I sweat really bad and I'm looking into a gym with a sauna, hot tub, pool, etc. Do they make something that will stay on our heads? Just wondering? See how this crazy chemo has ran me from talking about what may have caused my cancer to joining a gym, I'm all over the map lol!! Good morning all and have a blessed weekend
~Kari

feeling the same as you!
Kari, I think I had/have those same feelings as you. Was it all those things I did when I was not too much younger? To the words BC to get me to quite smoking, even if it was under a pack a week. Still too much! Friday happy hour...Am I being punished. Why aren't they closer to a cure? And can I really change my lifestyle when I haven't eaten a fruit in my life! I am trying to work up to that though with fruit juice first...Then longer walks and the gym when up to it. I haven't even started chemo yet and still have the occassional pity party. But the more people I meet from, the ones that seem to be the picture of health and spriit, I just wonder why.
karen(the other kms)

aysemari

mariam_11_09 said:

This is my take on is that

This is my take on is that cancer is such a personal thing, really personal.

I have always been conscious of what I ate and excercise regularly etc when I told my brother I had bc he was utterly shocked! I said when one looks at diet and diet is not a problem, it is good to look deep within at the emotional and spiritual. Over the last 3 months since my diagnosis it has become increasing clear as to what is at the heart of this cancer. It is a certain energetic pattern of behaviour that I subscribe to that leaves me feeling like a pack horse, putting other people first and feeling like I don't count which results in an intense depression (lasting sometimes only minutes) and anger such that I feel my only way out is death. How convenient to get cancer!

The night I came out of surgery I was put in a room with a woman who hollered and screamed for the nurse when she wasn't there and cried and begged for the my nurse to help her when my nurse was taking care of me (the whole night). It was here that it became so clear how I had been surrounded by very demanding women in my family, where I just gave in to all of them and on some level just disassociated.

For me, this is a spiritual journey, in a way a relief because I get that I need to change this dynamic and pattern otherwise I will be dealing with bc for the rest of my life. And even if it doesn't cure the cancer at least I have dealt with something that cripples me in other ways.


I admit I don't like the glib abd superficial statements like bad diet causes cancer or stress causes cancer or anger causes cancer or whatever because I do feel it is very personal, the cause is well .... maybe it is about feeling okay with not really knowing.

Lastly, what I have found that helps me is not seeing cancer as good or bad because that seems to colour my experience. If I just see it as something I need to deal with then I deal with it and any emotions that arise when they do.

I like your take on it
Mariam,

thank you for sharing, I really like your take on it. I too tend to believe that in a healthy body lives
a healthy mind and vice versa. I know I was stressed to the max, not having seen my family in over
17 years had left me yearning and homesick beyond belief. And of course there were other factors.
I like to dig deep... can you tell?

Ayse

CarrWilson

pdv said:

Trying to Think
I'm trying to think about this as a new adventure that is suppose to bring something good or someone different into my life. I don't think there is a rhyme or reason to this disease...it just is what it is.

Pat

Just Maybe
The last 5 years of my life have been the happiest and healthiest I have ever been. I had a negative mammo 8/2009, and positive cancer diagnosis 12/2009. Thank you to my husband and his "what's up with your boob?" I eat healthy (just the occasional cookie), don't smoke, don't drink, ride my bike everyday. Why did this happen to me of all people?
I have come to a few conclusions...Why not me? Someone has to be the statistic of 1 in 8.(I wish Las Vegas had these odds). Maybe there are better screening tools. (But why was this missed 8/09?) Maybe we are all living longer? (thanks to the advancement of modern medicine). Or maybe like Pat there is no rhyme or reason...it is what it is.

You can beat yourself up everyday for the past, or just accept life is full of challenges, we must accept them and take them head on. I don't mean to be preachy, obviously this has crossed my mind also.

Flakey_Flake

CarrWilson said:

Just Maybe
The last 5 years of my life have been the happiest and healthiest I have ever been. I had a negative mammo 8/2009, and positive cancer diagnosis 12/2009. Thank you to my husband and his "what's up with your boob?" I eat healthy (just the occasional cookie), don't smoke, don't drink, ride my bike everyday. Why did this happen to me of all people?
I have come to a few conclusions...Why not me? Someone has to be the statistic of 1 in 8.(I wish Las Vegas had these odds). Maybe there are better screening tools. (But why was this missed 8/09?) Maybe we are all living longer? (thanks to the advancement of modern medicine). Or maybe like Pat there is no rhyme or reason...it is what it is.

You can beat yourself up everyday for the past, or just accept life is full of challenges, we must accept them and take them head on. I don't mean to be preachy, obviously this has crossed my mind also.

Why Not Me?
I generally don't spend too much time wondering "Why me?" I just figure I'm better off thinking "Why not me?" But it is pretty obvious that life style isn't figuring into this whole bc thing.

Did you know that from 1945 to the 1970's there were above ground nuclear testing? The fallout from this covered the globe. Google this, and you will find all kinds of studies our government has done on this. It affected our whole food chain, particularly milk. And it affected those who were young more than those who were old at the time. The United States wasn't the only country doing above ground testing, and the tests were in three states, not just Nevada (Nevada had the most, and is the best known). Gee - I guess I am not really surprised to see a surge in cancers. Even with improved diagnostics, you can't throw a stone without hitting somoeone who has not had some form of cancer.

I am 57 years young. I can remember when the word "cancer" was almost taboo. I had an aunt who died of brain cancer, and my parents were almost afraid of saying the word. Now it is an everyday occurance. I am sure improved diagnostics play a part in this. But we also have improved treatment.

I do believe in God, and that we are in a state of sin. And that sin can take many forms. But I do not believe that God is punishing anyone by allowing them to have cancer. Jesus loves each and every one of us, and wants only to be in our hearts and lives. God would never put any of us through anything we couldn't handle - with His help.

I don't have to look very far to see someone is worse shape than myself. Sure we all feel bad. We are all entitled to have a pity party now and then. But when the party is over, we all hug our loved ones and go one with life. Let's just face it - cancer is just a part of of our lives. Could be worse, and it could be better. It is what it is. It what we make it.

roseann4

Flakey_Flake said:

Why Not Me?
I generally don't spend too much time wondering "Why me?" I just figure I'm better off thinking "Why not me?" But it is pretty obvious that life style isn't figuring into this whole bc thing.

Did you know that from 1945 to the 1970's there were above ground nuclear testing? The fallout from this covered the globe. Google this, and you will find all kinds of studies our government has done on this. It affected our whole food chain, particularly milk. And it affected those who were young more than those who were old at the time. The United States wasn't the only country doing above ground testing, and the tests were in three states, not just Nevada (Nevada had the most, and is the best known). Gee - I guess I am not really surprised to see a surge in cancers. Even with improved diagnostics, you can't throw a stone without hitting somoeone who has not had some form of cancer.

I am 57 years young. I can remember when the word "cancer" was almost taboo. I had an aunt who died of brain cancer, and my parents were almost afraid of saying the word. Now it is an everyday occurance. I am sure improved diagnostics play a part in this. But we also have improved treatment.

I do believe in God, and that we are in a state of sin. And that sin can take many forms. But I do not believe that God is punishing anyone by allowing them to have cancer. Jesus loves each and every one of us, and wants only to be in our hearts and lives. God would never put any of us through anything we couldn't handle - with His help.

I don't have to look very far to see someone is worse shape than myself. Sure we all feel bad. We are all entitled to have a pity party now and then. But when the party is over, we all hug our loved ones and go one with life. Let's just face it - cancer is just a part of of our lives. Could be worse, and it could be better. It is what it is. It what we make it.

In an attempt to control our lives...
Everyone would love to believe that cancer can be caused by specific things. That way, we can control getting it. However, there is an exception to every risk factor they can come up with. My mom was overweight, smoked for 40 years and died at 83 never getting lung cancer. I was thought to be the health daughter and my family was shocked by my diagnosis. Who knows? I will say that although I am a very positive person, I put the needs of others before my own which I believe is not healthy. Not any more.

I don't think this is an easy to solve issue, so I'm thankful for each day.

Roseann

BethInAz

Flakey_Flake said:

Why Not Me?
I generally don't spend too much time wondering "Why me?" I just figure I'm better off thinking "Why not me?" But it is pretty obvious that life style isn't figuring into this whole bc thing.

Did you know that from 1945 to the 1970's there were above ground nuclear testing? The fallout from this covered the globe. Google this, and you will find all kinds of studies our government has done on this. It affected our whole food chain, particularly milk. And it affected those who were young more than those who were old at the time. The United States wasn't the only country doing above ground testing, and the tests were in three states, not just Nevada (Nevada had the most, and is the best known). Gee - I guess I am not really surprised to see a surge in cancers. Even with improved diagnostics, you can't throw a stone without hitting somoeone who has not had some form of cancer.

I am 57 years young. I can remember when the word "cancer" was almost taboo. I had an aunt who died of brain cancer, and my parents were almost afraid of saying the word. Now it is an everyday occurance. I am sure improved diagnostics play a part in this. But we also have improved treatment.

I do believe in God, and that we are in a state of sin. And that sin can take many forms. But I do not believe that God is punishing anyone by allowing them to have cancer. Jesus loves each and every one of us, and wants only to be in our hearts and lives. God would never put any of us through anything we couldn't handle - with His help.

I don't have to look very far to see someone is worse shape than myself. Sure we all feel bad. We are all entitled to have a pity party now and then. But when the party is over, we all hug our loved ones and go one with life. Let's just face it - cancer is just a part of of our lives. Could be worse, and it could be better. It is what it is. It what we make it.

Right on, Sister!
So well said, Flakey! Your attitude is one that accepts life with its many foibles and carries on with a positive outlook. It's true that there is always somebody worse off - when I had my first chemo treatment, I was sitting next to a young man of probably 18 years old taking daily treatments for cancer. He was young, bald, and sick. I thought of my life - that even though only 54, I've been loved by a wonderful man for 34 years, have raised two awesome daughters who are mature and independent, and I've had a full life. You're so right on with your comment that life "is what it is - it is what we make it." I couldn't agree with you more.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful thoughts
Beth