Always ask~ assume NOTHING!

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chenheart
chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
>> ALWAYS ASK, NEVER ASSUME !!
>>
>> His request approved, the CNN News photographer
>> quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.
>>
>> He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting
>> for him at the airport.
>>
>> Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane
>> warming up outside a hanger.
>>
>> He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut,
>> and shouted, 'Let's go'.
>>
>> The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the
>> wind and took off.
>>
>> Once in the air, the photographer instructed the
>> pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of
>> the fires on the hillsides.'
>>
>> 'Why?' asked the pilot.
>>
>> 'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' , he
>> responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'
>>
>> The pilot was strangely silent for a moment,
>> finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is . . . You're NOT my
>> flight instructor?'
>>
>> "Life is short.
>> Drink the good wine first"

Comments

  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
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    Years ago someone told me
    Years ago someone told me 'assume makes an **** out of u and me'.
  • LadyParvati
    LadyParvati Member Posts: 328
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    ROFL!
    You all come up with some great jokes! Thanks for laugh to bring up my day!

    Sandy
  • Kit1018
    Kit1018 Member Posts: 48
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    ROTFL that is a good one

    ROTFL that is a good one
  • m_azingrace
    m_azingrace Member Posts: 399
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    Kit1018 said:

    ROTFL that is a good one

    ROTFL that is a good one

    The Badge
    Down close to the Texas-Mexico border, a DEA official approached a rancher and informed him that he and his agents were there to conduct a ground search for illegally grown marajuanna.

    "Okay,but don't go into that field over there", said the rancher, as he pointed eastward across a fence.

    The official reached into his back pocket "You see this badge?? It gives me the authority to go anyplace on this property I want to go. And I intend to start with that field. Do you understand me, mister?"

    "Yessir. Go right ahead."


    A few minutes later the rancher heard horrendous screams coming from that field, and looking up he saw the official running as fast as he could with a huge bull chasing him. If he didn't make it to the fence in time, the official would surely be gored.


    The rancher ran to the fence and cupping his hands around his mouth he shouted "YOUR BADGE. SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE"
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
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    The Badge
    Down close to the Texas-Mexico border, a DEA official approached a rancher and informed him that he and his agents were there to conduct a ground search for illegally grown marajuanna.

    "Okay,but don't go into that field over there", said the rancher, as he pointed eastward across a fence.

    The official reached into his back pocket "You see this badge?? It gives me the authority to go anyplace on this property I want to go. And I intend to start with that field. Do you understand me, mister?"

    "Yessir. Go right ahead."


    A few minutes later the rancher heard horrendous screams coming from that field, and looking up he saw the official running as fast as he could with a huge bull chasing him. If he didn't make it to the fence in time, the official would surely be gored.


    The rancher ran to the fence and cupping his hands around his mouth he shouted "YOUR BADGE. SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE"

    HA HA HA HA!!! Love it~ I
    HA HA HA HA!!! Love it~ I can just picture the arrogant official now! :-) Serves him right!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
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    Both of those were great.
    Both of those were great. Thanks!!
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
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    MyTurnNow said:

    Both of those were great.
    Both of those were great. Thanks!!

    For the blonde in us
    A blonde goes to the doctor.
    "So what seems to be the problem?" The doctor asks.
    "Oh doctor, you have no idea of the pain I am in.
    It just hurts everywhere, I MEAN everywhere".
    She goes on to demonstrate to the doctor all the
    places it hurts.
    "See doctor, i touch my arm - it hurts, I touch my
    leg - it hurts, my nose - it hurts... I could go on
    but doctor what awful disease do I have?"
    The doctore examines her. And she repeats anxiously,
    "what is docotor, tell me, will I live?"
    The doctor lets out a deep sigh and replies:
    "No one has ever died of a broken finger".
  • Different Ballgame
    Different Ballgame Member Posts: 868
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    All Three Jokes Made Me LOL
    I LAUGHED OUT LOUD. All three jokes were great.

    Lots of Hugs,
    Janelle