2010 NOT STARTING GOOD

met with surgeon today he wants to do a procedure called a modified wipple,(major,major surgery)which may leave me with diabetes and/or other side effects (permanent) and no guarentee of cure of cancer.
I do not want them to do anything that will cause my every day to day life to suck more than it already does.
one problem is a met in the abdominal cavity which has responded well to chemo,was 3x5 centimeters,now still lights on pet ,but not visible on ct scan.
surgeon wants to do a procedure to find out exactly what abdominal lesion is ,because i may not be a good candidate for the wipple if abdomin is going to be a problem.
A met in the main bile duct can quickly block the duct causing liver failure and death.
BAD NEWS.
I tried to talk to onc about being really agressive with chemo,but she wouldn't talk to me until she had discussed the situation with surgeon.
if they do surgery,I have diabetes and /or other permanent side effects,
without surgery........
I feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I don't .I feel TOTALLY SCREWED!!!
In the 4 yrs since recovering from my first huge surgery,the ileostomy,the radical hysterectomy,and the other organs they removed or modified,the only time I have had pain or have been sick,is when they did a surgery ,or procedure or chemo,and now this surgery will make me sick ALL THE TIME WITH NO GUARANTEE OF CURE!!
this is the first time since i got sick that the thought of dying has even entered my mind
BTW I AM BALD,i cant get a good web photo until daytime,but my friend who is a hairdresser,when she buzzed me ,she said i had the most beautiful head she had ever seen!
no bumps,points, dents,moles ,freckles or discolourations.AND THATS THE ONLY GOOD NEWS.
I am crying too hard to continue right now,so I will go.When i can get a good web photo of
"my beautiful head" i will post it.
kATE
Comments
-
That Bites!!
Kate, Sorry to hear the bad news, It really BITES big time!!! Looks like you have some thinking to do. As for me, I dont know what I would do eather. I HATE cancer!!!
love ya
Brooks0 -
So sorry to hear of this news
Cancer sucks. Your news sucks. I am so sorry you have to make hard decisions. I do know a lot of people who live with diabetes, and it doesn't change their lives too much. Now a met in the main bile duct that could kill you - that I wouldn't want to live with. Just my personal choice, but I'd go for the surgery.
I'm praying for you - hoping you can decide what you need to do that you can be comfortable with, and make peace with the decision.0 -
Cathy
Gosh I'm so sorry to hear this and WILL pray for you.
I don't know anything about the surgery you mentioned but agree with Kath that I'd want that deadly met out of that area! Not sure why an abdominal met couldn't be dealt with at the same time.... Do you know?0 -
Hi Kate,I am really sorry to
Hi Kate,I am really sorry to hear your news.This really sucks.You know,one thing I hate this cancer most is you have to live with uncertainty.Nobody knows who is going to be completely cured or who is going to have recurrence.That's why doctors are so cautious to say to the patients "you are cured".My opinion is even if there are side effects left over,but these things should be manageable,it's better than leaving visible mets in the body.You are in my prayers.Best luck and best wishes to you.0 -
I feelunknown said:This comment has been removed by the Moderator
SO helpless when I read this, though I have alot of friends with Diabetes, who live just fine and dandy, nothing really different in their lives, except a daily insulin shot! I would do anything to survive, and you're still young and healthy, and I think you can live with diabetes! Don't let this bile duct problem take you! or get you down, you have that choice, and really, who knows...maybe it will be done and you would have no diabetes as well! If you need to talk, please call me! I'm here for you!
Hugsss!
~Donna0 -
crap
I am sorry {{hugs}}
I am so impressed that you have not thought of dying much, I am inspired so much by that.0 -
Boy, You Said It...
Dear Kate
Like the other folks, your post was a real reality check to read this evening. I'm SOOO sorry that this is the news you've been given. And you're right, it feels like either way you go there will be some collateral damage. And it's unnerving to think about a surgery and then there might not be a cure.
On the other hand, if this met is present in that duct and could change on you at any time, it makes sense to choose the "lesser of 2 evils." Better to have that tumor removed and out of your way and deal with the fallout, than not do anything. And believe me, I'm all about Quality of Life and have said so in this forum on many occasions - when the quality is gone, then our life is gone - having said that though, the thought of "really dying" is so sobering that it forces you into actions that you dread to take on, but know you must.
I believe each of us has the right to fight on or not - you are such a strong personality, I cannot see you waving the white flag - just can't see it, even though I've only known you for such a short time, I have read your posts.
I'm going to support you and your decision and I know you must know weigh all of the options and make a difficult choice - I for one want to see your bald head and smiling face on this board.
I'm blue for you and thanks for letting us know what is going on and for getting this anguish out of your chest.
Sincerely
-Craig0 -
My heart goes out to you!
Kate
I know that bad knews is like a punch in the gut and my heart goes out to you. I know you have some hard decisions ahead of you and all you want is to get better but not at the exspense of feeling aweful...I just keep telling myself if you can keep the cancer at bay as long as possible there will be something or someone that comes along that will be able to help. I'll include you in my prayers.0 -
OMGphoebe1017 said:My heart goes out to you!
Kate
I know that bad knews is like a punch in the gut and my heart goes out to you. I know you have some hard decisions ahead of you and all you want is to get better but not at the exspense of feeling aweful...I just keep telling myself if you can keep the cancer at bay as long as possible there will be something or someone that comes along that will be able to help. I'll include you in my prayers.
Kate,
I am very sorry to hear your news....Have you gotten a second opinion on this surgery???? I know you have been through an aweful lot these days..It just doesn't seem to stop..You are a very strong person to have gone through all of this so you can make it throguh this too..Sit down and write out all of the pros and cons and then sleep on it for a couple of days then decide...But look into another opinion if for nothing else but peace of mind....I will be praying for you...JULIE0 -
Oh No
Your post made me sit up straight in my chair tonight. I'm so sorry that darn met is back. The surgeon is giving you an option, weigh the pros and cons then make your decision. This is a decision only you can make but Kate, you are stronger than you think. In reading your posts, you are not one to just give up so don't start now. I am at a loss for words so I'll just say take care, talk through everything with someone and know I am thinking of you. We are all here for you 24/7 - Tina0 -
Oh My Goodnessdianetavegia said:Cathy
Gosh I'm so sorry to hear this and WILL pray for you.
I don't know anything about the surgery you mentioned but agree with Kath that I'd want that deadly met out of that area! Not sure why an abdominal met couldn't be dealt with at the same time.... Do you know?
I am so sorry to hear of your news. Not sure what to say that could make you feel any better about the situation. You have a big decision to make and just know that we are here for you when you need to vent. Hope all goes well in your upcoming decisions and progress.
Kim0 -
Just a P.S. here,
I know
Just a P.S. here,
I know people live with diabetes every day.
I had several cousins with juvenile diabetes and my mother and sister
had type 2 diabetes.I certainly don't intend to make light of that.
I have a REAL PHOBIA about needles ,I see one ,I pass out !
in all the hundreds of times the last 4 years I've been stuck with needles,
I have NEVER SEEN ONE.I don't freak out when i get shots or labs,they all know not to let me see the needle,and i'll be ok.
I live alone and there is no way I could ever give myself shots.that would be the biggest problem, thats my only phobia,but i have it BAD!!
one night i was watching a research show on T.V. ,and they started to inject chicken eggs with something,i saw that and passed out on the floor!!and it was on television !! crazy huh????
also another 'side effect' is sometimes it damages the duodenum(the opening of the small intestin going into the stomach) so much they have to put a
feeding tube in your side so that you can eat.So food goes in a tube in your side....... and it comes out another tube on your side,(ileostomy)Fun huh!0 -
I'm so sorryKATE58 said:Just a P.S. here,
I know
Just a P.S. here,
I know people live with diabetes every day.
I had several cousins with juvenile diabetes and my mother and sister
had type 2 diabetes.I certainly don't intend to make light of that.
I have a REAL PHOBIA about needles ,I see one ,I pass out !
in all the hundreds of times the last 4 years I've been stuck with needles,
I have NEVER SEEN ONE.I don't freak out when i get shots or labs,they all know not to let me see the needle,and i'll be ok.
I live alone and there is no way I could ever give myself shots.that would be the biggest problem, thats my only phobia,but i have it BAD!!
one night i was watching a research show on T.V. ,and they started to inject chicken eggs with something,i saw that and passed out on the floor!!and it was on television !! crazy huh????
also another 'side effect' is sometimes it damages the duodenum(the opening of the small intestin going into the stomach) so much they have to put a
feeding tube in your side so that you can eat.So food goes in a tube in your side....... and it comes out another tube on your side,(ileostomy)Fun huh!
Kate,
I am so sorry the news is not great. Get a second opinion, there is always something new happening, and maybe there is something they can do for you with out the side effects.
Never give up hope!
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
((((HUGS))))
Sue0 -
Kate
Kate -
As much as I fantasize about lumpy bald heads, I'm sure I
would find your smooth noggin equally a turn-on.
Hey.... have you considered getting another opinion? Try to
keep in mind, that a doctor's opinion is only a human's opinion.
So go get another opinion from an out-of-area specialist..
You owe it to yourself to get other opinions, and no respectable
physician would be unhappy with a patient's desire to get other
opinions! Most doctors welcome the input from their peers, since
it can be information of great value to them that they wouldn't
have otherwise (Call it "free education").
You need to talk with another onco, and another surgeon that
specializes in gastrointestinal problems.
Take a deep breath, get your strength up, and go for it!
You're going to do fine!0 -
OK, I'll fess up........KATE58 said:Just a P.S. here,
I know
Just a P.S. here,
I know people live with diabetes every day.
I had several cousins with juvenile diabetes and my mother and sister
had type 2 diabetes.I certainly don't intend to make light of that.
I have a REAL PHOBIA about needles ,I see one ,I pass out !
in all the hundreds of times the last 4 years I've been stuck with needles,
I have NEVER SEEN ONE.I don't freak out when i get shots or labs,they all know not to let me see the needle,and i'll be ok.
I live alone and there is no way I could ever give myself shots.that would be the biggest problem, thats my only phobia,but i have it BAD!!
one night i was watching a research show on T.V. ,and they started to inject chicken eggs with something,i saw that and passed out on the floor!!and it was on television !! crazy huh????
also another 'side effect' is sometimes it damages the duodenum(the opening of the small intestin going into the stomach) so much they have to put a
feeding tube in your side so that you can eat.So food goes in a tube in your side....... and it comes out another tube on your side,(ileostomy)Fun huh!
I hate needles also...always have, always will, and yep, if I see one going in or coming out its bye bye buzzi... out like a light...so you don't have the market cornered on that one..
But, on another note, there is someone around you that does know how to give shots, hell I give them to my dogs all the time so anyone (you trust) can give em. Find a friend that is close and tell em hey comere you and gimme a shot, that takes care of that....Now, as for the pile up of news that you don't like hearing, when it gets so bad for me that I can't stand it, I simply tell myself over and over, its me not my kid, its me not my kid, until the bad thoughts pass...you have to be strong willed enough to only think of the special things in life, the beautiful sunrises,sunsets,fog,snow,rain,dew, I watched an ant once this spring and followed it around until it disappeared into the grass, I admired the beauty of not the grass, but of each individual blade and how it was shaped and why was it shaped as it was, for what reason...I never miss a single thing now, I pass this gift on to my children so that they too can see all the things that life has offered up but most never slow down long enough to enjoy. Kate, slow down and enjoy the things that are meant to be enjoyed, forget the bad stuff, it will take care of itself, it doesn't need your help so forget it, sooner or later it will go away. Savor the things in life that are meant to be inspiring to us, and revel in them. Don't let this news control your life in 2010,or 2011,2012, etc....Your smile tells the story of a woman that can do whatever she desires, life is a continuance of good feelings and emotions, not of ill will and bad moods, lets leave those for someone else......Love and Hope and plenty more smiles for us............Buzz0 -
Kate, I'm so sorry for you.
Kate, I'm so sorry for you. This really makes me sad.
Just a thought, but maybe a second opinion wouldn't hurt?
All my thoughts and prayers are with you. It's got to be hard to make those hard choices of what to do. Prayers for your physicians as well. I pray they know best how to treat you.0 -
Sorry
Kate,
I'm so sorry you've had such rough news. I know it's got you going in circles right now.
First of all, I agree that a second, third, or fourth opinion might be in order. Even wonderful doctors can't know every method of treatment that's out there. See what options might be open to you.
Also, did the doctor specify if it would be the type of diabetes that would require getting shots every day? I have some friends who got diabetes as adults, and they take oral medication and try to control things mostly by diet.
I know this is a heavy weight on you, for so many reasons. Just know that we're all here for you and will holding you up, no matter what route you choose. I'll be praying for good things!
*hugs*
Gail0
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