trying to stay positive

sparky72156

I am going to be having a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction in a couple of weeks. I have been told that I have Ductal carcinoma in situ. I can't get the nagging thought out of my head that it could be more....that the final pathology will be worse. Any ideas how I can stay calm about this? I won't know for several more weeks for sure, and I need to be able to function until then.

dmc_emmy

Sparky, there's no magic pill...
that we can take to take away the fear, but we do have each other.

I did not find this site until after I completed my chemo, radiation, and surgery. I came to this site only -after I had rare on-going problems with my meds. I was scared and cried out, "Why me?" I found out that everyone on this site had had the same fears and, even the ones I considered to be so strong and fearless asked "Why me? from time to time.

Now, six months later, I am declared to cancer-free. I never thought I would reach this point. There seemed to be no light at the end of a seemingly endless and dark tunnel, but I made it. Many on this site are nearing the end of their journey or are done and are "dancing with NED." Many others, like you, are just beginning and going through the same emotions that we did only a few years or months ago.

Sparky, you began this journey with hope and that makes you a survivor--even if you are scared and, I won't lie to you, there will be times when you feel that you have lost all hope, you need to reach out to your friends here. We will hold your hand and, if need be, we will even carry you. You will never be alone--that is my solemn promise to you.

dmc

cindycflynn

The waiting is the hardest part!
I know how you feel. When I was waiting for my surgery and then to finalize a treatment plan, my mind was just racing with possibilities.

Nothing but the final answers will really satisfy your mind, so I would just suggest two things:

- Learn as much as you can to be prepared for the possibilities that lie ahead. For me, at least, knowledge was powerful and helped me to cope.

- Keep active with other things, friends, etc. Don't let cancer rob you of the joy in your life. If you have any hobbies, make sure to make time for them. Do nice things for yourself, and take care of your health. You'll need your strength, both physical and mental, for the fight ahead.

You can do this - and we're here to help along the way!

Take care,
Cindy

Dot53

Hi
I also have ductal carcinoma in situ and had a double mastectomy on the 5th and found the following quote to be very helpful...

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
Eleanor Roosevelt

The waiting is the hardest part.. I had to wait two months for my surgery b/c I had to heal from my reduction first (that is how they found it.) Try to think positive and anytime you need to talk or ask questions you have your sisters here to help.

Sending positive thoughts your way...

Dot

boppel

dmc_emmy said:

Sparky, there's no magic pill...
that we can take to take away the fear, but we do have each other.

I did not find this site until after I completed my chemo, radiation, and surgery. I came to this site only -after I had rare on-going problems with my meds. I was scared and cried out, "Why me?" I found out that everyone on this site had had the same fears and, even the ones I considered to be so strong and fearless asked "Why me? from time to time.

Now, six months later, I am declared to cancer-free. I never thought I would reach this point. There seemed to be no light at the end of a seemingly endless and dark tunnel, but I made it. Many on this site are nearing the end of their journey or are done and are "dancing with NED." Many others, like you, are just beginning and going through the same emotions that we did only a few years or months ago.

Sparky, you began this journey with hope and that makes you a survivor--even if you are scared and, I won't lie to you, there will be times when you feel that you have lost all hope, you need to reach out to your friends here. We will hold your hand and, if need be, we will even carry you. You will never be alone--that is my solemn promise to you.

dmc

well said ...dmc
Hi Sparky, I am "new" here, again.... was here a looooooong time ago. dmc said it well, we are all scared and fear can take over. But... you are NOT alone and you are here where we can help. Like dmc says, there will be times where you think "why", lose hope and get tired of it all. Let me assure you this to will pass. Never in my wildest dreams did I think anything like BC could happen to me, but it did , twice, I am still here, doing well, and with new treatments and drugs are available I would fight again.
Keep us posted. From the bottom of my heart I wish you the best. God bless you. We are here for you. em

sparky72156

Dot53 said:

Hi
I also have ductal carcinoma in situ and had a double mastectomy on the 5th and found the following quote to be very helpful...

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
Eleanor Roosevelt

The waiting is the hardest part.. I had to wait two months for my surgery b/c I had to heal from my reduction first (that is how they found it.) Try to think positive and anytime you need to talk or ask questions you have your sisters here to help.

Sending positive thoughts your way...

Dot

The waiting is torture. I
The waiting is torture. I can't help thinking that they are not giving me the entire picture. First, they said that it was DCIS.....do a lumpectomy and all will probably be good. Well, three of the four margins were not clear so now it's on to mastectomy. When the plastic surgeon mentioned, kind of just in passing, that the possibility would exist that a worse type of cancer might show up in the final path of the removed tissues, it hit me that this is real. I had been considering myself so lucky that it was DCIS.........had even said that I would never put myself into the same category as those who had to endure the chemo and rads because I would have had it so much easier. Now........now I am just full of an anxiety that I haven't had since I lost my husband to brain cancer. I can't sleep so I drag myself through my days at work, trying to smile and keep a positive attitude. Then I come home to my empty house and cry because I am so afraid. I'm so tired and I feel as though I'm entering this whirlpool that is just dragging me down, no matter how hard I fight it.

terri805

Dot53 said:

Hi
I also have ductal carcinoma in situ and had a double mastectomy on the 5th and found the following quote to be very helpful...

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
Eleanor Roosevelt

The waiting is the hardest part.. I had to wait two months for my surgery b/c I had to heal from my reduction first (that is how they found it.) Try to think positive and anytime you need to talk or ask questions you have your sisters here to help.

Sending positive thoughts your way...

Dot

insitu ductal carcinoma
please help me understand. I am reading the above comments from ladies that have insitu ductal carcinoma and are having mastectomies. I have been dx with the same but I had a lumpectomy about two weeks ago and will be going back for more surgery to get a wider margin then radiation and arimidex most probably. I am wondering why some people have mastectomies and some people have lumpectomies for the same dx? I hopr that I am getting the right treatment.

sparky72156

terri805 said:

insitu ductal carcinoma
please help me understand. I am reading the above comments from ladies that have insitu ductal carcinoma and are having mastectomies. I have been dx with the same but I had a lumpectomy about two weeks ago and will be going back for more surgery to get a wider margin then radiation and arimidex most probably. I am wondering why some people have mastectomies and some people have lumpectomies for the same dx? I hopr that I am getting the right treatment.

Terri, I have chosen the
Terri, I have chosen the mastectomy because the doc said that he would have to take out much more tissue to be sure he got it all, and even then, it might require more surgery if all he did was a lumpectomy. Rather than drag it out for a few surgeries, I have elected to get it all out and reconstruct immediately. He offered me the choice of another lumpectomy but I wasn't comfortable with that option. I think this is one of those personal choices that only the person with the disease can decide what is best for them. For me, bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction will offer me peace of mind, should that final pathology be good.

sparky72156

Dot53 said:

Hi
I also have ductal carcinoma in situ and had a double mastectomy on the 5th and found the following quote to be very helpful...

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
Eleanor Roosevelt

The waiting is the hardest part.. I had to wait two months for my surgery b/c I had to heal from my reduction first (that is how they found it.) Try to think positive and anytime you need to talk or ask questions you have your sisters here to help.

Sending positive thoughts your way...

Dot

Thank you, Dot......I am
Thank you, Dot......I am trying to hang in there.

Dot53

terri805 said:

insitu ductal carcinoma
please help me understand. I am reading the above comments from ladies that have insitu ductal carcinoma and are having mastectomies. I have been dx with the same but I had a lumpectomy about two weeks ago and will be going back for more surgery to get a wider margin then radiation and arimidex most probably. I am wondering why some people have mastectomies and some people have lumpectomies for the same dx? I hopr that I am getting the right treatment.

I did not have a choice
I did not have a choice because my cancer was found and removed by a plastic surgeon during a breast reduction. Therefore my cancer surgeon said they had no real way of knowing if he got it all and he did not want to take any chances. Also I have a strong family history of breast cancer. My mother and both sisters had it so the doctor recommended an immediate bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction.

Dot

Dot53

sparky72156 said:

Thank you, Dot......I am
Thank you, Dot......I am trying to hang in there.

You are so welcome....
You are so welcome.... remember we are all here for you. Never ever think you are alone..

Sending you a big hug,

Dot

carkris

sparky72156 said:

Thank you, Dot......I am
Thank you, Dot......I am trying to hang in there.

it is normal to worry, esp
it is normal to worry, esp when your prognosis is so good, but try to stay in the present moment. All you know is what you cureently know and that is the info you are going with. you can prepare yourself for other possibilities if it helps but it worrying will not change things. This is not generally how I work either its a daily dialogue I have with myself.

terri805

sparky72156 said:

The waiting is torture. I
The waiting is torture. I can't help thinking that they are not giving me the entire picture. First, they said that it was DCIS.....do a lumpectomy and all will probably be good. Well, three of the four margins were not clear so now it's on to mastectomy. When the plastic surgeon mentioned, kind of just in passing, that the possibility would exist that a worse type of cancer might show up in the final path of the removed tissues, it hit me that this is real. I had been considering myself so lucky that it was DCIS.........had even said that I would never put myself into the same category as those who had to endure the chemo and rads because I would have had it so much easier. Now........now I am just full of an anxiety that I haven't had since I lost my husband to brain cancer. I can't sleep so I drag myself through my days at work, trying to smile and keep a positive attitude. Then I come home to my empty house and cry because I am so afraid. I'm so tired and I feel as though I'm entering this whirlpool that is just dragging me down, no matter how hard I fight it.

Sparky72156
So sorry that you are feeling very afraid. I know how you feel about the waiting and wondering and how ones mind runs crazy thinking about all the possibilities that could be. I don't think that I have ever been so afraid in my life as I was when the dr called me and told me that I have cancer. My life flashed before my eyes and I thought "what is going to happen to my kids". I cried for days and sometimes still feel overwhelmed and I feel like I am dodging bullets because I also am diabetic and coronary artery disease. It's like" which bullet is going to get me first". I have found a lot of comfort and strength by reading on this site. The people on here are awesome and give great advice. You have to try to be positive and know that you can beat this. I go through the motions and do what I have to do to get through this difficult time in my life and I have faith that I will be cancer free after treatment. I will pray for you to be strong and overcome your anxiety and that after the mastectomy you will be healthy.

boppel

sparky72156 said:

The waiting is torture. I
The waiting is torture. I can't help thinking that they are not giving me the entire picture. First, they said that it was DCIS.....do a lumpectomy and all will probably be good. Well, three of the four margins were not clear so now it's on to mastectomy. When the plastic surgeon mentioned, kind of just in passing, that the possibility would exist that a worse type of cancer might show up in the final path of the removed tissues, it hit me that this is real. I had been considering myself so lucky that it was DCIS.........had even said that I would never put myself into the same category as those who had to endure the chemo and rads because I would have had it so much easier. Now........now I am just full of an anxiety that I haven't had since I lost my husband to brain cancer. I can't sleep so I drag myself through my days at work, trying to smile and keep a positive attitude. Then I come home to my empty house and cry because I am so afraid. I'm so tired and I feel as though I'm entering this whirlpool that is just dragging me down, no matter how hard I fight it.

waiting..
Fist I want to say I am so sorry about your husband, my heart goes out to you. Yes Sparky the waiting and the unknown is the worst. Have you asked the surgeon any questions? Does the plastic surgeon do the mastectomy ? The reason I ask, I had two different doctors, a surgeon and a plastic surgeon. My surgeon was very easy to talk to and he was informative, explained why what etc. He also made recommendations for an oncologist. Has your doctor mentioned anything re; chemo, radiation after your surgery? If so, I know its a tough one, but you will make it thru this. All of us here have been there at one time or another, so there is hope and support. I still have anxiety when I go to sleep at night and my BC dx the first one was 1998. It was a different time, so much more new information , drugs and treatments since then.
Focus on one thing at the time, first its your surgery and reconstruction, good choice to have it done all at the same time ( I waited 1 year, my ONLY regret) when all is healed and you must go thru chemo rads or both, you will have more knowledge and face everything with courage and determination to beat this. I am not saying it will be easy but you will get thru it. Love em

terri805

sparky72156 said:

Terri, I have chosen the
Terri, I have chosen the mastectomy because the doc said that he would have to take out much more tissue to be sure he got it all, and even then, it might require more surgery if all he did was a lumpectomy. Rather than drag it out for a few surgeries, I have elected to get it all out and reconstruct immediately. He offered me the choice of another lumpectomy but I wasn't comfortable with that option. I think this is one of those personal choices that only the person with the disease can decide what is best for them. For me, bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction will offer me peace of mind, should that final pathology be good.

thanks for your response
Thanks sparky and dot for the explanation. I now understand that people can have the same dx but yet different circumstances. i agree with you sparky I would probably do the same in your situation.Best of luck and my prayers are with you.

crselby

same dx, different treatment
Hi Sparky. You heard from some very understanding women. I had DCIS (in situ). But before surgery, the surgeon wanted to know if there was any more cancer in other areas. The thing about DCIS is that, although the cancer cells are contained in the duct and have not learned how to become invasive, they CAN travel down the duct and sprout a new area of cancer, still within the duct. So, good=not invasive, bad=in many areas of the breast (which would require a mastectomy). After MRI, MRI biopsies, and ultrasounds, the docs were pretty sure I only had one tiny area of DCIS, so I had a lumpectomy. If they had found more areas, depending on how close together they might have been, I could have ended up with bilateral mastectomies.

But the waiting for the results of all of that testing was HELL! I made myself sick, literallly, with anxiety. Couldn't sleep and if I did, I would wake with frantically beating heat and sweating. Caught a virus. Broke out with candida on the skin under my breasts, etc. Sleep is so important and so healing, that I was grateful to get some anti-anxiety drugs for pre-surgery. Whew! Finally some rest, sleep, and peace. After that, I could handle calming myself in my usually effective ways (meditation and exercise). Maybe the same thing would be helpful for you. My advice is to ask for some meds or some counseling from your doctor's office.

Ritzy

crselby said:

same dx, different treatment
Hi Sparky. You heard from some very understanding women. I had DCIS (in situ). But before surgery, the surgeon wanted to know if there was any more cancer in other areas. The thing about DCIS is that, although the cancer cells are contained in the duct and have not learned how to become invasive, they CAN travel down the duct and sprout a new area of cancer, still within the duct. So, good=not invasive, bad=in many areas of the breast (which would require a mastectomy). After MRI, MRI biopsies, and ultrasounds, the docs were pretty sure I only had one tiny area of DCIS, so I had a lumpectomy. If they had found more areas, depending on how close together they might have been, I could have ended up with bilateral mastectomies.

But the waiting for the results of all of that testing was HELL! I made myself sick, literallly, with anxiety. Couldn't sleep and if I did, I would wake with frantically beating heat and sweating. Caught a virus. Broke out with candida on the skin under my breasts, etc. Sleep is so important and so healing, that I was grateful to get some anti-anxiety drugs for pre-surgery. Whew! Finally some rest, sleep, and peace. After that, I could handle calming myself in my usually effective ways (meditation and exercise). Maybe the same thing would be helpful for you. My advice is to ask for some meds or some counseling from your doctor's office.

I wish that we could the
I wish that we could the results of all of our tests immediately. With some, we can. And, with some doctors and hospitals, you do. But, that is not the norm. You just have to reach inside and find all of the patience that you can. We have all been thru it and we know it isn't easy, but, getting upset over it will accomplish nothing but to hurt you. Try to stay busy. Good luck!

Sue