Such a bad day!

godivagirl
godivagirl Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am new to the site, and I guess I just need to vent. I was diagnosed with kidney cancer this year and had a nephrectomy in July. One kidney removed. Now it's breast cancer. My 1st lumpectomy was in November, my 2nd a week ago. Found out today the margins still aren't clean. Being told to go back for a mastectomy. I just don't want to! I have been through enough this year! Nobody gets that I just don't want to have it. I could care less about losing the "girls". I'm 69, I can part with them. I just don't want this serious surgery that I'm being pressured to have. I want to get a 2nd opinion but don't have the energy. I'm just in shock that they didn't get it, and so down. I think I just need to hear that others have been through these thoughts. It's so hard for my family to understand although they are trying very hard to empathize.

Comments

  • Gloria09
    Gloria09 Member Posts: 190
    #2
    godiva
    First of all, welcome to the site! You've come to the best place to share, learn and vent. I've been through very little and still have had some of the same type of thoughts. If it ever turns out that I would have to part with the girls or my hair I think I can deal with that ... it may not be easy but I think I could. I agree that the hardest part is the surgery. Families are there to pray and send positive thoughts so they are doing what they know how to do. We are hear for that and so much more ... the sharing, crying, hugging. You are in my prayers as you work through this. We are all hear for you. Hugs! Gloria
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    #3
    I am so sorry for the reason
    I am so sorry for the reason you are here, but glad that you are using this board... there are so many people here to offer support, friendship, information, and did I mention support... You have been through so much... it is no wonder you feel this way... I'm sure in no time others who have had more than one run at the beast will be here ... I have only experienced it now.. this time.. Families can lead with their best intentions... but it is so hard for them to really understand.... hang in there..

    I hope that our presence will help...we are here for you!

    Gentle hugs,

    ~T
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181 Member
    #4
    Surgery
    Hi,we all get to where we don,t want to do any of it anymore.I got radiation burns and they gave me a week break.I don,t want to go back tomorrow.i have 3wks. left of treatments.But I know i want to live so i will do it.We have loved ones that are counting on us.hang in their,we are here when you need to talk.Love and Prayers.(Pat).
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #5
    ppurdin said:

    Surgery
    Hi,we all get to where we don,t want to do any of it anymore.I got radiation burns and they gave me a week break.I don,t want to go back tomorrow.i have 3wks. left of treatments.But I know i want to live so i will do it.We have loved ones that are counting on us.hang in their,we are here when you need to talk.Love and Prayers.(Pat).

    Welcome
    I am so sorry you have to so though all this. I had a lumpectomy in June. Just finished Chemo and starting Rad the first week of Jan. You have been through so much. I do hope you you continue to fight. We are all here for you anytime. Hugs & prayers
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #6
    Godiva,
    That's a lot right
    Godiva,
    That's a lot right in a row practically. I can see that you would be tired of surgeries. It is not uncommon to need to get cleaner margins and they must feel that a mastectomy will get it all. And yes, your family just wants it all gone and you safe and cancer free. How soon do they want to do this surgery? Can it wait until after the new year? And if you have this does it mean that you don't need radiation? Are you going to have chemo? All these factors weigh in on your decision. For me, I would want to get rid of all the potential for cancer. It would be worse for me not to do this surgery and then find out that I had mets and yet more treatment. I know this is difficult and maybe the best thing is to get a 2nd opinion and then go from there. My prayers are with you.
    Stef
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #7
    Welcome to the 2-fer club!!!!
    In November of 2004, I was diagnosed and treated for stage III rectal cancer. In the process, a PET scan lit up a lump in my breast. Because of the dismal stats on my rectal cancer, I was only treated for that initially...the breast would be 'looked at if I survived'.

    August, 2005 I had a lumpectomy and sentinel node plus the next set removed. Yup, stage II...chemo AGAIN...only 6 months after my last one for the rectal cancer...

    Man! was I MAD!!!!!!

    But, I pulled myself up and started again after getting the following comment from my 5th (!) second opinion...."You worked so hard the first time, Kathi. Why would you throw it all away by not fighting as hard as you can this time?"

    I remember feeling so weary, but I'm glad I did fight....I just celebrated 5 years since diagnosis...back then, I was given 6 months to live!!!

    BIG hugs to you!
    Kathi
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #8
    KathiM said:

    Welcome to the 2-fer club!!!!
    In November of 2004, I was diagnosed and treated for stage III rectal cancer. In the process, a PET scan lit up a lump in my breast. Because of the dismal stats on my rectal cancer, I was only treated for that initially...the breast would be 'looked at if I survived'.

    August, 2005 I had a lumpectomy and sentinel node plus the next set removed. Yup, stage II...chemo AGAIN...only 6 months after my last one for the rectal cancer...

    Man! was I MAD!!!!!!

    But, I pulled myself up and started again after getting the following comment from my 5th (!) second opinion...."You worked so hard the first time, Kathi. Why would you throw it all away by not fighting as hard as you can this time?"

    I remember feeling so weary, but I'm glad I did fight....I just celebrated 5 years since diagnosis...back then, I was given 6 months to live!!!

    BIG hugs to you!
    Kathi

    Kathi
    I was hoping, actually
    Kathi
    I was hoping, actually I knew, that you would come on here and tell her of your journey. It never fails to inspire a spirit of survival. I also had multiple cancers but mine were relatively spread apart so I had time to digest each one. Yours seemed the closest to hers. It's so hard to face all of this and two times so close is more than twice as hard. It's always good to hear the success stories.
    Stef
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #9
    Welcome to this site, but so
    Welcome to this site, but so sorry that you have to be here. I was shocked and terrified when i got diagnosed last July with stage 4 breast cancer. But, after a year and a half i am still going, so i have a lot to be thankful for. We all have the same thoughts that you have, and we can certainly emphasize with you. This is a lot for your family to take in. I hope that you are strong enough to make the right decision, take care
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #10
    fauxma said:

    Kathi
    I was hoping, actually
    Kathi
    I was hoping, actually I knew, that you would come on here and tell her of your journey. It never fails to inspire a spirit of survival. I also had multiple cancers but mine were relatively spread apart so I had time to digest each one. Yours seemed the closest to hers. It's so hard to face all of this and two times so close is more than twice as hard. It's always good to hear the success stories.
    Stef

    TeeHee...you know me too well, sweet soul!
    I guess I feel that if I can do it, being the scaredy-cat that I am about my body, that anyone can!!!!!

    Hey, and YOU can come visit, yes, you can!!! This isn't 'traveling', this is just going visiting to someone else's house...well, hummmm...that means no daily bed sheets changes, or clean towels everyday (even tho I followed the suggestions to tell the crew they didn't NEED to change daily...lol!).

    Oh, and having to feel like strangling the guy in the seat in front of you in the plane who is constantly changing the incline of his seat back....after 10 hours, this is NOT FUNNY AT ALL!! ROFL!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #11
    I think the most important
    I think the most important thing here is to get the cancer out....ALL of IT!! You have the will to live or you wouldn't have agreed to the surgeries you've already done. I know it sucks but it is necessary. You can do it and we'll be with you every step of the way. Oh yes, welcome to this board. You'll find a lot of support and just down right caring individuals. We'll help in getting you through this. Please continue to post and let us know what your decision is. Have a very Merry Christmas with your family!
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #12
    Bummer that you have to do
    Bummer that you have to do it again. :>( I felt like that when after 4 cycles of chemo they said I'd need 4 more. I wasn't going to do it but in the end I did it. That was in 2003/2004. I also had a radical modified mastectomy on the right side and radiation and it was in my nodes. Hang in there.
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #13
    meena1 said:

    Welcome to this site, but so
    Welcome to this site, but so sorry that you have to be here. I was shocked and terrified when i got diagnosed last July with stage 4 breast cancer. But, after a year and a half i am still going, so i have a lot to be thankful for. We all have the same thoughts that you have, and we can certainly emphasize with you. This is a lot for your family to take in. I hope that you are strong enough to make the right decision, take care

    I am so sorry for all that
    I am so sorry for all that you have gone thru and for what the doctors still want you to go thru. Do what you want to do. It is your body, your life. Praying for you!

    Angie
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #14
    meena1 said:

    Welcome to this site, but so
    Welcome to this site, but so sorry that you have to be here. I was shocked and terrified when i got diagnosed last July with stage 4 breast cancer. But, after a year and a half i am still going, so i have a lot to be thankful for. We all have the same thoughts that you have, and we can certainly emphasize with you. This is a lot for your family to take in. I hope that you are strong enough to make the right decision, take care

    So sorry
    I am so sorry for all that you have gone thru and for what the doctors still want you to go thru. Do what you want to do. It is your body, your life. Praying for you!

    Angie

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