am i the only one

shortscake
shortscake Member Posts: 228
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
hello and how is everyone? Just wanted to know if i am the only one who gets tired of hearing the work cancer? It seems that i hear it on the radio and on TV all the time and when i talk with friend and family it comes up, right now its 3:47am and i am up crying cant get the word out my mind, my hair has started coming all the way out have to eat with a hat on so i wont get hair in my food or drink. right now i just feel like its to much, i read the post that people have lost the battle and that hurts my heart, had a lady in o navy walk up to me and just stat talking didn't know who she was and still don't, she told me about her son who she lot to cancer 4yrs ago,all i could say is i was sorry and try to walk away she stated walking with me, in side i was crying this was killing me, my friend who i was with saw the look on my face and said lets go. why o why do i keep hearing this word? is there a way i can have a cancer free day?

Comments

  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    Shortcake it seems I'm
    Shortcake it seems I'm always up at this time. My sleep patterns are so messed up. It must be the time of year. My tears have finally stopped flowing. I shed a stream of tears over the last 5 or so days.

    As our warrior sister Sunrae repeated to me today, I repeat to you : "I have cancer but cancer doesnt have me".

    I know its hard to get away from that word because we are in the battle doing the walk of warriors, so its constantly on our minds. One lady took a day off from cancer. Find something you really enjoy and immerse yourself in it, and take a day off from cancer. dont listen to the news, dont read the news, and do a pamper day for you even though you are still working at beating this beast.

    If you can think back to a day pre-cancer, where your attitude, your outward appearance and everything was in sink. Repeat that, and take a day off from cancer. Hugs
  • shortscake
    shortscake Member Posts: 228
    natly15 said:

    Shortcake it seems I'm
    Shortcake it seems I'm always up at this time. My sleep patterns are so messed up. It must be the time of year. My tears have finally stopped flowing. I shed a stream of tears over the last 5 or so days.

    As our warrior sister Sunrae repeated to me today, I repeat to you : "I have cancer but cancer doesnt have me".

    I know its hard to get away from that word because we are in the battle doing the walk of warriors, so its constantly on our minds. One lady took a day off from cancer. Find something you really enjoy and immerse yourself in it, and take a day off from cancer. dont listen to the news, dont read the news, and do a pamper day for you even though you are still working at beating this beast.

    If you can think back to a day pre-cancer, where your attitude, your outward appearance and everything was in sink. Repeat that, and take a day off from cancer. Hugs

    wish
    i wish i could take a break from cancer i remember i have to take oxygen with me because i do get short of breath when i am out and about,i have a sleeping problem also i am on sleeping pills talk them around 9pm sleep to about 2am stay up to about 6am then go back to bed and be back up at 2pm tell them the truth, i have always been the strong person never ask anyone for help,i was once told before i got sick that people can deal with you well when you are sick for a short period but they can deal with it when its for a long time(something like that) so when they call and i am having a bad day i just say let me call you back in a few and when i call them back everything is just fine.they don't know that doing that time period i have cry a river taken 2 pain pills.so now i am ready to put on my brave face.sorry for the vent, i am just tried
  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941

    wish
    i wish i could take a break from cancer i remember i have to take oxygen with me because i do get short of breath when i am out and about,i have a sleeping problem also i am on sleeping pills talk them around 9pm sleep to about 2am stay up to about 6am then go back to bed and be back up at 2pm tell them the truth, i have always been the strong person never ask anyone for help,i was once told before i got sick that people can deal with you well when you are sick for a short period but they can deal with it when its for a long time(something like that) so when they call and i am having a bad day i just say let me call you back in a few and when i call them back everything is just fine.they don't know that doing that time period i have cry a river taken 2 pain pills.so now i am ready to put on my brave face.sorry for the vent, i am just tried

    We are here to vent, it
    We are here to vent, it makes for a better us. I and we on this websight know that you are doing your time so to speak. I know about those periods of tears and pain both emotionally and physical, but my callers and friends really dont know what I'm going thru. I'm tired of putting on a brave face. when people call now, I tell them I'm not feeling well and will have to call them back. We are all wounded healers on this websight. Shortscake, unless people have walked this cancer walk they dont have any idea what we are dealing with on a daily basis. We may look ok, and our voices may be strong, but our bodies know what this does to us.

    dont be sorry for your vent. I'm glad you vented because it helps me feel better.
  • Sam726
    Sam726 Member Posts: 233

    wish
    i wish i could take a break from cancer i remember i have to take oxygen with me because i do get short of breath when i am out and about,i have a sleeping problem also i am on sleeping pills talk them around 9pm sleep to about 2am stay up to about 6am then go back to bed and be back up at 2pm tell them the truth, i have always been the strong person never ask anyone for help,i was once told before i got sick that people can deal with you well when you are sick for a short period but they can deal with it when its for a long time(something like that) so when they call and i am having a bad day i just say let me call you back in a few and when i call them back everything is just fine.they don't know that doing that time period i have cry a river taken 2 pain pills.so now i am ready to put on my brave face.sorry for the vent, i am just tried

    Stay strong
    Hey girl...im sorry u are having a rough time. I wish I could make things better for you. I too have times I just want to cry and for it all to go away. You have to remember this isnt forever..you will have great days, and bad days! Its okay to let it all out on those bad days..and dont be afraid to call someone and vent. If they are your true friends, they will understand and they will be there for you.
    On a side note, I see you said your hair is coming out...girl, dont watch it fall..take control and shave it. Its inevitible that it is all comin out so get it over with and move on. It was the best thing I ever did. I always had long hair and I refused to watch it fall so at the first sign of it comin out, I shaved it. I felt much better once it was gone. I felt I could move on to the next step with that worry behind me.

    Hang in there honey...there is light at the end of the tunnel!
    Sam
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    Hey Shortscake
    Cancer is a word that didn't mean much to me before I got it. I've known people who have passed because of it, young people who had so much to live for. Then one day it happened to me. Sometimes I'd stop working and sit at my desk and say under my breath, "Cancer - I have cancer, me! It seems so unreal, even though its been over a year since my diagnosis. I found people and family around me are still afraid to say the word. Then I realized, its just a word. Its the people who stopped me while I was bald and wearing scarves and turbans that did what they do to you now. I wanted to scream at them to stop, but you can't. You can just smile and walk away. I like the idea of pampering. I don't know where you live, but if its cold - cuddle up on the sofa with a big hot steaming mug of hot cocoa and watch your favorite movies all day. I know it must be hard to go out with the oxygen tank, but how about a nice dinner out with a loved one? I've vented here a lot of times and these ladies are the kindest warmest loving people I've met since getting the big "C". Love and peace to you.
    Hugs - Pat
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    padee6339 said:

    Hey Shortscake
    Cancer is a word that didn't mean much to me before I got it. I've known people who have passed because of it, young people who had so much to live for. Then one day it happened to me. Sometimes I'd stop working and sit at my desk and say under my breath, "Cancer - I have cancer, me! It seems so unreal, even though its been over a year since my diagnosis. I found people and family around me are still afraid to say the word. Then I realized, its just a word. Its the people who stopped me while I was bald and wearing scarves and turbans that did what they do to you now. I wanted to scream at them to stop, but you can't. You can just smile and walk away. I like the idea of pampering. I don't know where you live, but if its cold - cuddle up on the sofa with a big hot steaming mug of hot cocoa and watch your favorite movies all day. I know it must be hard to go out with the oxygen tank, but how about a nice dinner out with a loved one? I've vented here a lot of times and these ladies are the kindest warmest loving people I've met since getting the big "C". Love and peace to you.
    Hugs - Pat

    Hey
    I am sorry Shortscake. I wish I could get away from that word too, but, it is everywhere anymore. Even if someone isn't saying it to me, it is on tv, the radio, on billboards, everywhere. The one way I found to actually escape from it was my husband took me away for several days on vacation. It was great! All we did was lay around, eat, go shopping, drank some, just had a great time and I almost forgot about cancer. It just wasn't on my mind as I was having too good of a time. So, if you can, get out and do fun things with your friends or family. Take a walk, see a movie, go to lunch, just get out. Hope something helps you.

    Hugs, Diane ♥
  • marilyndbk
    marilyndbk Member Posts: 238 Member
    I hope you are feeling
    I hope you are feeling better. This disease really sucks. It sucks up our time, our energy, our strength. You have been given some good advice. I try to remember that I have to go through this journey to get past it. Sometimes I get tired of putting on the happy face for family and friends but I don't want to be remembered as letting the beast get me down. I have faith I am going to be ok no matter what happens and God has a good plan for all of us. Take good care of yourself. Marilyn
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member

    I hope you are feeling
    I hope you are feeling better. This disease really sucks. It sucks up our time, our energy, our strength. You have been given some good advice. I try to remember that I have to go through this journey to get past it. Sometimes I get tired of putting on the happy face for family and friends but I don't want to be remembered as letting the beast get me down. I have faith I am going to be ok no matter what happens and God has a good plan for all of us. Take good care of yourself. Marilyn

    some days I say to myself I
    some days I say to myself I am not my cancer. I am still me. I had a BC survivior guiltily confide to me that Oct drives her nuts with all the constant reminders of BC. To get through the next few weeks, today I opened my eyes and looked at my house and said, this is my house that I worked so hard for and I am going to live in it. I visualize going back to work, spending time with friends. Right know my life is pretty isolated and I admire shortscakes and everyone for gettting out, I cant do it. But bc is a condition I have it does not define me. I generally do not even own it, its not MY BC its the BC. I do not claim it only as an invader I need to get rid of.
    Shortscakes, you are so cute you will look fine with buzzed head, I buzzed mine before it fell out and am so glad I avoided that whole trauma. You dont deserve to watch it fall out. What we can avoid we should, because there are other things we cant.
    This is my second time around with a primary, and I know that life is doable and good afterwards, I hope I am fortunate enough to be able to have that happen again. Stay strong. and politely say you do not wish to discuss cancer right now. Its like being pregnant every one wants to tell you their story.
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
    No you are not the only one beleive me.
    hi their,I know what you mean.It seams like Cancer consumes everything in our lifes.When your hair is coming out it is so scary.And it makes us relize that Cancer is so real and we can not hide it anymore,Every time we look in the mirror we are reminded.and yes our hearts hurt for the ones that don,t make it.I thought I would never be able to get through losing my hair.But thanks to the kind people on these boards I did.I shaved it after putting up with it falling out.I thought I would never leave the house without my wig.And I do and don,t mind it two much.If I am in a hurry I just throw a hat on.I will Pray that god gives you the courage and streanth to get through this.Love and Prayers.(Pat).
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
    ppurdin said:

    No you are not the only one beleive me.
    hi their,I know what you mean.It seams like Cancer consumes everything in our lifes.When your hair is coming out it is so scary.And it makes us relize that Cancer is so real and we can not hide it anymore,Every time we look in the mirror we are reminded.and yes our hearts hurt for the ones that don,t make it.I thought I would never be able to get through losing my hair.But thanks to the kind people on these boards I did.I shaved it after putting up with it falling out.I thought I would never leave the house without my wig.And I do and don,t mind it two much.If I am in a hurry I just throw a hat on.I will Pray that god gives you the courage and streanth to get through this.Love and Prayers.(Pat).

    Lovely young Shortscake,
    Lovely young Shortscake, today was a day to vent. We all have to have those days and our sisters here understand every emotion that we go thru and feel our pain because they've been there. I hate cancer, surgery, chemo, radiation, anything to do with the word cancer. I've expressed this before, I even hate the color pink for what it stands for. I look forward to the day when we're free from this. Free from cancer, do you hear that. And that day will come for each of us. I long for the time when cancer no longer strikes fear in my heart, when pink is a beautiful color again for me, and when we can reach out and help others who are in the struggle. Shortscake, tomorrow is another day. Rejoice in it, vent if you still want to, and realize each day you're winning even if it doesn't seem that way. Sending you a lot of love and prayers, dear Shortscake.