Who does this.... me... am I paranoid??

taleena
taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
One month ago I graduated with the fall radiation gals... 27 days ago had my first zoladex injection... (get another one tomorrow).... 3 weeks ago started Femara (yuck)...

My body aches... hands are stiff, legs and back ache... (I am guessing this is all se's from the rx)...

Every night when I go to bed, I find myself feeling my "good" side... looking... wondering... waiting... am I just paranoid... and if so how long will I be paranoid... just wondering if I'm normal... please tell me this is normal... (So I can tell my hubby this is normal)..

~T

Comments

  • crselby
    crselby Member Posts: 441
    waiting
    Cancer is such an awful disease. When my gall bladder was giving me trouble, the doc took it out, end of story (sort of). But with my breast cancer, the doc took it out, and... NOT end of story. Right? I had radiation. But there is the issue of contralateral breast cancer. My 'good' boob is like a ticking time bomb, in my mind.

    However, I do believe that your mental state can affect the body and so I want to believe I am healthy, cured, and that every cell of my being is touched by the life energy of God to be disease free, including the non-cancerous breast. That's the thought I substitute for the "I wonder if/when..." thoughts.
    ~~Connie~~
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Not paranoid...
    Gosh, T. You had such an awful time with rads, and now nasty side effects from meds.

    I don't think you're paranoid - not at all. If, for now, it's reassuring to check your "good" side each day - well, then, so be it. We must all determine our own individual coping mechanisms in order to live - LIVE being the key word here - with the risk of recurrence. Which is also different for each of us.

    Normal?!? What is THAT??? Yes, please - feel free to tell your hubby you are quite "normal"...

    As a six year survivor, and as other longer-termers have stated before here on the board - the distance of time does help relieve the fear and concern. You, however, haven't yet experienced the distance of time. You are still in treatment, with quite a ways to go.

    In the meantime - be good to yourself, T.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    We are all paranoid at
    We are all paranoid at first. I gradually grew away from it. It's like any other bad experience, just replace the memories with good ones. Hang in there.
  • teresa41
    teresa41 Member Posts: 471
    Marcia527 said:

    We are all paranoid at
    We are all paranoid at first. I gradually grew away from it. It's like any other bad experience, just replace the memories with good ones. Hang in there.

    its normal i can say it is
    its normal i can say it is good that i did
    keep checking i just found a lump on my good side because i kept checking i went in for a mammogram and ultra sound just waiting on results.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    teresa41 said:

    its normal i can say it is
    its normal i can say it is good that i did
    keep checking i just found a lump on my good side because i kept checking i went in for a mammogram and ultra sound just waiting on results.

    Oh yes you become paranoid
    Oh yes you become paranoid about every bump that you never knew you had.
    that goes away after a while. I found if it troubled me i would set up a schedule. once a month breast checks as recommended, one month doesnt make a difference. just to wean myself away from thr fear. and put it in perspective. It ets better.
  • pgrace35
    pgrace35 Member Posts: 122
    crselby said:

    waiting
    Cancer is such an awful disease. When my gall bladder was giving me trouble, the doc took it out, end of story (sort of). But with my breast cancer, the doc took it out, and... NOT end of story. Right? I had radiation. But there is the issue of contralateral breast cancer. My 'good' boob is like a ticking time bomb, in my mind.

    However, I do believe that your mental state can affect the body and so I want to believe I am healthy, cured, and that every cell of my being is touched by the life energy of God to be disease free, including the non-cancerous breast. That's the thought I substitute for the "I wonder if/when..." thoughts.
    ~~Connie~~

    Good advice
    I'm working hard on that mental state thing, which I'm really begininng to believe does have an enourmous effect on our bodies. But every one in awhile those little scary thoughts come into my mind...you know what I say out loud...CANCEL THAT!!!