Encouragement needed please!!

lndsmom
lndsmom Member Posts: 20
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi...I'm 42 and was dx'd with IDC in late June. I had 6 rounds of chemo and just had a mastectomy on 11/30. I had a 5 cm tumor removed (clear margins) with 3 of 7 lymph nodes involved. I am stage 3a, grade 3, and triple negative. I will start radiation in mid-January.

I thought I would be happy after the surgery, but I'm not. I just want to cry...my thoughts are consumed with recurrence. I'm just so scared!!!! Can someone offer me hope or any advice...please?!

I just don't know what to do at this point...is this normal?

Comments

  • TLynn0102
    TLynn0102 Member Posts: 86
    Encouragement needed please
    Indsmom,
    I just joined this site and posted all kinds of questions about the feelings I am now dealing with a year later. You and I have almost the same diagnosis. I too had the bilatteral mastectomy, the difference between us is that you are crying now during the process where I kept it bottled up. Please don't do that. It is unhealthy for your recovery and your emotional state. I am not sure when or how the acceptance of reoccurance happens but I would have to suspect that it does because there are so many women out there who move forward. I do beleive that dealing with your emotions now will help you in the long run. If I had a 'do over' I would choose to let people know what I am feeling and why. This is normal. It's been a year for me this month and I am just first dealing with the scars cancer has left on my sole, it is very scary. What you are going through is normal, talk with your doctor and join a support group in your area. Don't be like me and leave things alone, be proactive. The Lord has a plan for all of us and we will never be able to figure out why we were choosen for this journey, we can only accept it and move forward. It's hard I know and you will always have these feelings but letting go of your emotions and fear will help you heal. My thoughts are with you. TLynn0102
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    Yes, this is normal. I was
    Yes, this is normal. I was diagnosed in July 2008, went through chemo, masectomy and rads and i am still scared. I have been posting for awhile. Unfortunately, i was stage 4 when they found my cancer it already spread to my bones and liver. Right now, i am in remission as my last scan was stable. I still go for monthly treatments.
    I want to tell you that you will get through this, and you will be stronger. I have met wonderful people, and made many friends. i have learned to enjoy the simple things in life, and to take care of me. There are wonderful treatments available, and there is hope. I can understand that right now it feels like your very soul is being ripped to bits, but you need to stay strong and healthy. Take care
  • Aortus
    Aortus Member Posts: 967
    It IS completely normal...
    You have already been through an awful lot. The end of treatments (radiation should end in February, I would guess) is on the horizon. It's completely normal to be concerned about what comes next.

    My own beloved Moopy spent nine months (Nov. 2008-Aug. 2009) being treated for stage 3 "triple negative" BC. Mastectomy in November, 6 rounds of TAC every three weeks, followed by 32 radiation treatments, about 1/2 of those with hyperthermia. If we had five bucks for every time she or I got fixated on the possibility of recurrence, we could retire to the Gulf Coast and live on filet mignon for the next 40 years.

    I can't tell you or anyone else what will come next. But I can tell you that my Moopy went off to work this morning with a bounce in her step and a list of things for me to do around the house. I can tell you that she is feeling well, and receiving physical therapy to regain her range of motion for her left arm. I can tell you that her concerns for recurrence are never, obviously, far off - but she is focusing on the fact that she has made it one year out and that the chance of recurrence has ALREADY dropped considerably.

    Please stick around and share your concerns and your questions and your triumphs with everyone here. You couldn't ask for a better support group. And there are plenty of "triple negative" survivors here to help you along that particular path. I am sure the Moopster will be one of them.

    Best,
    Joe
  • Lynda53
    Lynda53 Member Posts: 210
    I am in the midst, but here is some encouragement
    Peace
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
    Encouragement
    Hi,I have not had a masectomey.I had a lumpecktomy.So I am not alot of help.I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone.Their will be women that have had it on this sight.They will help with your questions.I will pray you find strengh to get through this hard time.God Bless you.(Pat).
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    Your fears are so normal.
    Your fears are so normal. You have been through hell and a huge shock. You' is scary.

    I was a bit obsessed with worrying about cancer for at least a couple years after my treatment. I am now more than 3 years out and am starting to relax a bit and cancer is not constantly on my mind. You too will get to that point. Time helps us to heal emotionally.

    I understand that your pathology seems very concerning to you, but remember that today the way docs. treat breast cancer is very effective. There are women on this site who had many cancerous lymphnodes and agressive cancers who are alive and healthy many years later.

    Hang in there, it will get better. Eil
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    Your fears are so normal.
    Your fears are so normal. You have been through hell and a huge shock. You' is scary.

    I was a bit obsessed with worrying about cancer for at least a couple years after my treatment. I am now more than 3 years out and am starting to relax a bit and cancer is not constantly on my mind. You too will get to that point. Time helps us to heal emotionally.

    I understand that your pathology seems very concerning to you, but remember that today the way docs. treat breast cancer is very effective. There are women on this site who had many cancerous lymphnodes and agressive cancers who are alive and healthy many years later.

    Hang in there, it will get better. Eil
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    Eil4186 said:

    Your fears are so normal.
    Your fears are so normal. You have been through hell and a huge shock. You' is scary.

    I was a bit obsessed with worrying about cancer for at least a couple years after my treatment. I am now more than 3 years out and am starting to relax a bit and cancer is not constantly on my mind. You too will get to that point. Time helps us to heal emotionally.

    I understand that your pathology seems very concerning to you, but remember that today the way docs. treat breast cancer is very effective. There are women on this site who had many cancerous lymphnodes and agressive cancers who are alive and healthy many years later.

    Hang in there, it will get better. Eil

    Hi
    Just want to say hi and to let you know that you will feel better. It takes time, but, you will. We all go thru the scared and anxious stage, and, it is always inside of us. You just have to realize that you are going to live and that you are going to live a long and healthy life without cancer. You beat cancer! Come here and vent when you feel upset. We all understand exactly how you feel and will help you however we can.

    Hugs,

    Leeza
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    ppurdin said:

    Encouragement
    Hi,I have not had a masectomey.I had a lumpecktomy.So I am not alot of help.I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone.Their will be women that have had it on this sight.They will help with your questions.I will pray you find strengh to get through this hard time.God Bless you.(Pat).

    Sorry
    Hi! I am so sad that you are feeling so down, but, you have come to the right place. You will find so many women here that have survived bc and will support you thru your journey. I don't know what I would have done without them. Praying for you!

    ♠♣ Susie ♠♣
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    Someone described our bc
    Someone described our bc journey once as a roller coaster ride and they were so right. Our emotions sometimes are out of control. I would suggest that you talk to your oncologist about your feelings. Perhaps an antidepressant or some therapy could help you. Wishing you luck!

    Hugs, Diane ♥
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    Eil4186 said:

    Your fears are so normal.
    Your fears are so normal. You have been through hell and a huge shock. You' is scary.

    I was a bit obsessed with worrying about cancer for at least a couple years after my treatment. I am now more than 3 years out and am starting to relax a bit and cancer is not constantly on my mind. You too will get to that point. Time helps us to heal emotionally.

    I understand that your pathology seems very concerning to you, but remember that today the way docs. treat breast cancer is very effective. There are women on this site who had many cancerous lymphnodes and agressive cancers who are alive and healthy many years later.

    Hang in there, it will get better. Eil

    Hi
    I agree with Eileen. Being afraid is so very normal with having a diagnosis of bc. It is a shock and it is very scary.

    There are so many advances in bc treatments anymore that we need to trust in them and trust in our doctors.

    If you feel you need outside help, please get it. Good luck!

    ♥ Noel
  • Darlene_Mays
    Darlene_Mays Member Posts: 20
    Aortus said:

    It IS completely normal...
    You have already been through an awful lot. The end of treatments (radiation should end in February, I would guess) is on the horizon. It's completely normal to be concerned about what comes next.

    My own beloved Moopy spent nine months (Nov. 2008-Aug. 2009) being treated for stage 3 "triple negative" BC. Mastectomy in November, 6 rounds of TAC every three weeks, followed by 32 radiation treatments, about 1/2 of those with hyperthermia. If we had five bucks for every time she or I got fixated on the possibility of recurrence, we could retire to the Gulf Coast and live on filet mignon for the next 40 years.

    I can't tell you or anyone else what will come next. But I can tell you that my Moopy went off to work this morning with a bounce in her step and a list of things for me to do around the house. I can tell you that she is feeling well, and receiving physical therapy to regain her range of motion for her left arm. I can tell you that her concerns for recurrence are never, obviously, far off - but she is focusing on the fact that she has made it one year out and that the chance of recurrence has ALREADY dropped considerably.

    Please stick around and share your concerns and your questions and your triumphs with everyone here. You couldn't ask for a better support group. And there are plenty of "triple negative" survivors here to help you along that particular path. I am sure the Moopster will be one of them.

    Best,
    Joe

    Thank You, Joe!
    Hi Joe, I just read your message about Moopy having left for work, and I am so inspired by that. I am newly diagnosed w/Trip. Negative,and have been believing this is a death sentence. I am so gratified to know that is not the case! Thank You!
    PS>>>I don't know why this is red...but, I guess I hit something, somewhere...somehow (sigh)