Can You Believe THIS?

tasha_111
tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I was asked how I felt today?.........Even though It was obvious I was in a lot of pain.... I though "What the hell...........I never complained, moaned or threw tantrums whilst I was going through this... Maybe now is the time to get honest, share, open up, as a last ditch attempt to get some understanding from someone who should have understood a lot more a lot sooner............TOO LATE!

So I told him what was going on.............and Can you believe this?..........He tried to interrupt 3 times, eventually I let him have his say.................AND IT WAS:


"Do you think I should buy this propane-Space-Heater?...It's on sale at Canadian Tire this week!"


"YES!>>>>>>>>>BUY IT YOU TOSSER, IT"S THE ONLY THING THAT'S GOING TO KEEP YOU WARM AT NIGHT!"

I don't believe it!

Sorry for the vent...........No I'm NOT!............. Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Comments

  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    I hope you actually told him that!
    And further, that this exchange will help you to adjust your expectations of him.

    I know it's so hard to believe that you could have been in a relationship where you gave so much and did it because you believed the person was worthy of your caring, only to find out that you had been fooled into believing in goodness that simply didn't exist. Been there, done that myself.

    Once you stop expecting him to act in any way other than the boor he's shown himself time and again to be, he will cease to have the power to hurt you.

    I also know that it's much easier said than done to let go of those expectations. After all, you DESERVE the payback of caring from him, but you're just never, ever, ever, going to get it, and it will just hurt you more to have any expectation of getting it because it will only allow him to hurt you once again.

    You'll need to rely on Karma, or whatever equivalent belief you may be able to hold, to let the universe even things up, and remember that those on this board love you to pieces and know that you deserve all the good things in the world, so you'll just have to get the love and caring you deserve from us and leave him to his own devices.

    Take care,
    Cindy
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    I am so sorry that this is
    I am so sorry that this is happening. Am I reading between the lines that you are back with your other half? I hope not, but I know that this has been difficult on so many levels for you and I am not going to judge you. I am not the one living your life and you need to do what you think is best for you. I will just say that I am hear to listen to you venting, celebrating, complaining, laughing, joking and that I send my mostest positive thoughts through cyberspace to you. And yes, that propane space heater should come in handy for the, what did you call him, oh, Tosser. What is a tosser?
    You are first, last, and always my friend and I want only the best in life for you. Take care my dear daft sod.
    Stef
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    fauxma said:

    I am so sorry that this is
    I am so sorry that this is happening. Am I reading between the lines that you are back with your other half? I hope not, but I know that this has been difficult on so many levels for you and I am not going to judge you. I am not the one living your life and you need to do what you think is best for you. I will just say that I am hear to listen to you venting, celebrating, complaining, laughing, joking and that I send my mostest positive thoughts through cyberspace to you. And yes, that propane space heater should come in handy for the, what did you call him, oh, Tosser. What is a tosser?
    You are first, last, and always my friend and I want only the best in life for you. Take care my dear daft sod.
    Stef

    Stef
    Tosser = Wanker = masturbator............Ewwwwwwwwwww Disgusting or wot?
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    tasha_111 said:

    Stef
    Tosser = Wanker = masturbator............Ewwwwwwwwwww Disgusting or wot?

    You are still with that
    You are still with that jerk? Why Tasha? Sorry, but, I just don't get it if you are.

    I am not judging you either. I just don't understand why you want to still be with someone who abused you.
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    tasha_111 said:

    Stef
    Tosser = Wanker = masturbator............Ewwwwwwwwwww Disgusting or wot?

    Well, now I know. It seems
    Well, now I know. It seems fitting for him somehow.
    Stef
  • xskeetshooter
    xskeetshooter Member Posts: 169
    loser
    your prblm if you want to keep going back to a loser. good luck
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    Aw, Tasha....the lessons we learn....
    I have one gal who, after asking me 'How are you?', says "No, really" when I say 'Fine.'. And then (here's the kicker....) talks over me and diminished EVERYTHING I say....

    There is no changing these people, so you have to make up your mind what to do. I have a girlfriend who is facing a reocurrance of colon cancer in her bones...no real treatment for it...and what does her DIL say? 'Well, do you think you will make it thru Christmas?' Nice, huh?

    Realize that you are worth alot....especially to YOU...and that you cannot change him. The only thing to do is to accept that there is no chance for change, and accept that or reject it...I faced that in a guy I was dating, and the only thing that turned him into a semi- nice guy was that he had a bad accident and almost died...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    hmmmmm
    Tasha........so terribly sorry you're having to deal with this..... you have to do what you feel is best for you....it's so easy for other peopoe to say..."it's your problem if you go back to him, good luck" real easy when not walking in your shoes......Some people just amaze me.....Just like all of us on this site with bc....we basically understand what each is going through......BUT until someone has walked in your shoes with this particular relationship, we have no clue.....So, AGAIN.....listen to your heart and do what is best FOR YOU!!!!!

    I wish you the best........
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
    MAJW said:

    hmmmmm
    Tasha........so terribly sorry you're having to deal with this..... you have to do what you feel is best for you....it's so easy for other peopoe to say..."it's your problem if you go back to him, good luck" real easy when not walking in your shoes......Some people just amaze me.....Just like all of us on this site with bc....we basically understand what each is going through......BUT until someone has walked in your shoes with this particular relationship, we have no clue.....So, AGAIN.....listen to your heart and do what is best FOR YOU!!!!!

    I wish you the best........

    Tasha, May the bluebird of
    Tasha, May the bluebird of happiness poop on his parade. I was with a loser for over 20 years so I know how hard it is to let it go. Do you really need to be with him? Hope you can do what's best for you and take care of yourself. Let us know if there's any way we can help other than being here for you. Hoping today gets better for you.
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    wanker is right
    Tash, that man is not capable of caring for anyone but himself. He didn't really want to hear how you were, he was just asking to make himself seem caring and concerned. At least that's what it sounds like from your description. As soon as you started talking, it was on to the next thing for him. A jerk. Tash, he's not going to change. Yes, he SHOULD have taken care of you and supported you and been loving and kind to you. But he wasn't. And you know what? That has nothing to do with you. It's all on him and what he is and isn't capable of. You, on the other hand, are capable of great love, caring, compassion, and humor. You are not in the same league with this tosser. He knows it, too. I hope you know it, too. Hugs and love to you. WE all want to hear how you are and we mean it.

    Mimi
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    Well, Tasha, I'm on your
    Well, Tasha, I'm on your side. Which ever side you want me on. So it's ok to vent.
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    Marcia527 said:

    Well, Tasha, I'm on your
    Well, Tasha, I'm on your side. Which ever side you want me on. So it's ok to vent.

    Well...............
    So much for tongue-in-cheek......... Thank you (some of you) for your responses... For Your Information...........I AM NOT BACK WITH HIM, I merely have to tolerate working with him for financial reasons.

    I,m living alone.. Thanks again for the support.

    Hugs Jxxxxxxx
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    tasha_111 said:

    Well...............
    So much for tongue-in-cheek......... Thank you (some of you) for your responses... For Your Information...........I AM NOT BACK WITH HIM, I merely have to tolerate working with him for financial reasons.

    I,m living alone.. Thanks again for the support.

    Hugs Jxxxxxxx

    Although I truly would have
    Although I truly would have been supportive if you had been back with him all I can say is Hooray. And so sorry that the tongue in cheek went over my head. I totally understand the working with him for financial support. I guess I was concerned that finances etc. had forced you into to returning to him. SO glad that is not the case. It is so easy to jump to conclusions. I should have known that you were way, way stronger than that. Why would you return to a tosser. Now that the question of the pain in your A55 is settled, let's hope that you can get your real pains under control. I hope that you can find some relief from these, dear friend.
    Stef
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    tasha_111 said:

    Well...............
    So much for tongue-in-cheek......... Thank you (some of you) for your responses... For Your Information...........I AM NOT BACK WITH HIM, I merely have to tolerate working with him for financial reasons.

    I,m living alone.. Thanks again for the support.

    Hugs Jxxxxxxx

    Oh Tasha... I'm so sorry
    Oh Tasha... I'm so sorry that you have to deal with the jeck for any reason... it is so hard sometimes...when we remove people from our lives, whom we have cared for, some how we still hold on to the hope that they will change...some people are just incapable of changing... he sounds like one of them... I'm so sorry... because I know it still hurts... it's like come one jerk show me something... and then nothing... You deserve so much better, and I know that one day, when you least expect it... you my friend will find it.

    ♥ & hugs,

    ~T
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    fauxma said:

    Although I truly would have
    Although I truly would have been supportive if you had been back with him all I can say is Hooray. And so sorry that the tongue in cheek went over my head. I totally understand the working with him for financial support. I guess I was concerned that finances etc. had forced you into to returning to him. SO glad that is not the case. It is so easy to jump to conclusions. I should have known that you were way, way stronger than that. Why would you return to a tosser. Now that the question of the pain in your A55 is settled, let's hope that you can get your real pains under control. I hope that you can find some relief from these, dear friend.
    Stef

    Stef!
    YOUR post didn't upset me at all, you are a lovely compassionate human being, thank you. It WAS so easy for a person (or persons unknown) to jump to conclusions and be cruel, assumptive and down right nasty........A newbie who knows NOTHING of my circumstances........... but feels alright being judgemental of me despite that!

    Hugs to you all.............even those who don't hug me.......... Jxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    taleena said:

    Oh Tasha... I'm so sorry
    Oh Tasha... I'm so sorry that you have to deal with the jeck for any reason... it is so hard sometimes...when we remove people from our lives, whom we have cared for, some how we still hold on to the hope that they will change...some people are just incapable of changing... he sounds like one of them... I'm so sorry... because I know it still hurts... it's like come one jerk show me something... and then nothing... You deserve so much better, and I know that one day, when you least expect it... you my friend will find it.

    ♥ & hugs,

    ~T

    No comment except.............
    I love you and support you Tasha!

    Love, Jeanne ♥
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    Jeanne D said:

    No comment except.............
    I love you and support you Tasha!

    Love, Jeanne ♥

    Taleena, Jeanne
    Thank you for your responses..............I have to laugh at him too!
    Hugs Jxxxxxxx..... I guess you have to be young enough to "GET" this?

    LOL
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    tasha_111 said:

    Taleena, Jeanne
    Thank you for your responses..............I have to laugh at him too!
    Hugs Jxxxxxxx..... I guess you have to be young enough to "GET" this?

    LOL

    Well, I'm glad
    that everything is OK and that you can laugh at the ex! Although in a non tongue-and-cheek situation, I can see how talking about propane heaters (or some such) would be infuriating if you were pouring your heart out! Glad that he doesn't get to you anymore. I guess I'm one of the daft sods that didn't get it! Hugs.

    Mimi
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    mimivac said:

    Well, I'm glad
    that everything is OK and that you can laugh at the ex! Although in a non tongue-and-cheek situation, I can see how talking about propane heaters (or some such) would be infuriating if you were pouring your heart out! Glad that he doesn't get to you anymore. I guess I'm one of the daft sods that didn't get it! Hugs.

    Mimi

    Mimi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You are one of the Daft Sods That DID GET IT!////////////LOLOL.... Thanks for the reply
    Hugs jxxxxxxxxxx
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    tasha_111 said:

    Mimi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You are one of the Daft Sods That DID GET IT!////////////LOLOL.... Thanks for the reply
    Hugs jxxxxxxxxxx

    Well, Damn
    I guess I'm one of those daft sods who didn't get that she got it. My head is spinning, girl. LOL.