Scared..

hamish1

I am terrified of taking Chemo. Had lumpectomy 11-18-2009 and removal of one lymph gland under my arm. 12 other lymph glands tested clear. PET scan was clear. But Doctors say I will still need Chemo and Radiation therapy. Just don't understand why. They also say I have a 35% chance of it returning, according to the ONCA Results. I'm supposed to begin treatments after Christmas. Why can't I just take the pills instead of Chemo? My age is 67.

hamish1

my age
I forgot to add, my age is 67.

Whoknowz

hamish1 said:

my age
I forgot to add, my age is 67.

Welcome to the family
and thanks for letting us know you've joined us. I think chemo scares everybody. We seem to be able to come to terms with doing what we need to to remove the cancer and tolerate the need for radiation with some qualms. Taking pills is an ordinary part of healing, but chemo seems to just stop us in our tracks. So you've got a lot of company!

I had a lumpectomy 10/21 and started chemo 11/9. I'm halfway done -- will have 4 cycles of cytoxan/taxotere. It hasn't beeen nearly as bad as I was afraid it would be. I've had side effects but nothing totally incapacitating. HOWEVER, I was stunned when she told me I needed chemo. It took me quite a while to wrap my head around that. I finally shifted my perspective to think with each treatment I am getting healthier, that the chemo just moves thru my body like PacMan munching up any cancer cells that might be lurking. It's just one more step on the journey.

You need to talk further with your dr and understand the reasoning. This is a partnership. If you're not comfortable with the answers, get a secondd opinion. There may have been info in your path report that indicated the chemo was necessary, but that should have been explained.

Good luck, and let us know how you're doing.

padee6339

Hello Hamish
A year ago October I was diagnosed also. My Onco score was 34. I had a lumpectomy and 6 rounds of chemo (taxotere/carboplaten) and 36 radiation treatments. I know its scary, but you are in the fight of your life and you deserve to be scared. We all were/are. If your doctor recommends the port, you might want to have one put in. It sure makes it easier for chemo. After a while, I looked forward to chemo days (sounds dumb, huh?). I had it done in my oncologist's office. She had a little room in the back with a big comfy heated recliner and a tv with stacks of movies. By the time the movie was over I was done. Then we'd go for lunch and I'd go home and spend the rest of the weekend resting. I never thought it would end, but it does. You are a survivor and you will get through this. We are here for you 24/7 with all of our support and love. Be strong Hamish - you CAN do this!!!!
Sending you lots of cyber-hugs -
Pat

sausageroll

padee6339 said:

Hello Hamish
A year ago October I was diagnosed also. My Onco score was 34. I had a lumpectomy and 6 rounds of chemo (taxotere/carboplaten) and 36 radiation treatments. I know its scary, but you are in the fight of your life and you deserve to be scared. We all were/are. If your doctor recommends the port, you might want to have one put in. It sure makes it easier for chemo. After a while, I looked forward to chemo days (sounds dumb, huh?). I had it done in my oncologist's office. She had a little room in the back with a big comfy heated recliner and a tv with stacks of movies. By the time the movie was over I was done. Then we'd go for lunch and I'd go home and spend the rest of the weekend resting. I never thought it would end, but it does. You are a survivor and you will get through this. We are here for you 24/7 with all of our support and love. Be strong Hamish - you CAN do this!!!!
Sending you lots of cyber-hugs -
Pat

We understand.
Welcome to our family of fighters! You have every reason to be scared...however this is a fight for your life and if your doctors feel that you need chemo and radiation and you understand why..then it will be over before you know it and at least you can say that you have done everything to beat this disease.

I don't know what my score was but I did understand why I needed chemo and radiation along with surgery. I was diagnosed in Sept 2008 and will have my last infusion in February. I can honestly say that this year has flown by. There have been some horrible moments..but good memories too. If you decide to follow the chemo plan, you will have plenty of friends and support here. take care and let us know how you are doing.

MyTurnNow

Hamish, just wanted to
Hamish, just wanted to welcome you to our cyber family. I, too, had chemo and can tell you it's not as bad as it was years ago. It is very doable. I think the worst side effect for me was losing my hair. I know it's only hair but it's mine and it bothered me. You made the comment "why can't I just take the pill". I believe the pill you're referring to is used after the chemo and radiation (if required) is completed. If you are estrogen positive this pill blocks the estrogen in your body. It's not a "chemo" pill. I agree with what has already been said and that is to check back with your doctor and make sure you understand exactly why you need to take chemo. It's important that you are in agreement with your treatment. We'll be here to walk you through it and answer any questions or provide support. Take care and good luck!

LadyParvati

Hi, Hamish!
I'll add my voice to welcoming you, Hamish. I know this is scary--I'm at about the same place as you in timing--I had surgery on 11/6 and will be beginning my chemo treatments on 12/23. (Fortunately, my kids & grandkids are all coming for an early Christmas--one is here already!)

I'm wondering what test was done, when you say your ONCA results show you have a 35% chance of the cancer returning. If they did the Oncotype DX, then results showing a 35% chance of recurrence do put you in a high-risk group; a low-risk person would have 6% chance of recurrence. With further study, the group that developed the Oncotype DX test has found that "the high-risk group benefited significantly from chemotherapy while the low recurrence score women did not" (quoted from Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book, 4th ed., p. 279).

That means that, as scary as it is, having the chemo would really help reduce the risk of your cancer coming back a lot.

Whether you can take the pills (I think you're referring to Tamoxifen? the hormone-blocking pills?) or not depends on the type of cancer you have. From what we know about my cancer currently (my oncologist is insisting on an Oncotype DX being run because it didn't get run previously--the insurance company denied it), I am triple-negative, so I cannot take Tamoxifen--it wouldn't help me at all. If your cancer is also hormone-receptor negative, Tamoxifen wouldn't help you either. Tamoxifen is for cancers that are hormone-receptor positive, meaning their growth is stimulated by the hormones in your body--estrogen (ER) and/or progesterone (PgR or PR).

As for the radiation, that's nearly standard after lumpectomy. If you had had a mastectomy, radiation would not be standard, as mastectomy reduces the chance of recurrence to about 5-6% over ten years. Lumpectomy alone is not as effective; lumpectomy with radiation brings the risk of recurrence down to about 7%--which is considered a nonsignificant difference from mastectomy's results.

I agree that asking more questions is great idea--you deserve answers that you can understand. If your oncologist is unwilling to take the time to explain things to you, you might want to find another oncologist.

You might also get the book I mentioned above--Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book, 4th edition--it is really helpful in explaining all of the terminology and what everything means in terms of treatment for each type of cancer.

Lots of luck--keep us posted!

HUG! Sandy

always

LadyParvati said:

Hi, Hamish!
I'll add my voice to welcoming you, Hamish. I know this is scary--I'm at about the same place as you in timing--I had surgery on 11/6 and will be beginning my chemo treatments on 12/23. (Fortunately, my kids & grandkids are all coming for an early Christmas--one is here already!)

I'm wondering what test was done, when you say your ONCA results show you have a 35% chance of the cancer returning. If they did the Oncotype DX, then results showing a 35% chance of recurrence do put you in a high-risk group; a low-risk person would have 6% chance of recurrence. With further study, the group that developed the Oncotype DX test has found that "the high-risk group benefited significantly from chemotherapy while the low recurrence score women did not" (quoted from Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book, 4th ed., p. 279).

That means that, as scary as it is, having the chemo would really help reduce the risk of your cancer coming back a lot.

Whether you can take the pills (I think you're referring to Tamoxifen? the hormone-blocking pills?) or not depends on the type of cancer you have. From what we know about my cancer currently (my oncologist is insisting on an Oncotype DX being run because it didn't get run previously--the insurance company denied it), I am triple-negative, so I cannot take Tamoxifen--it wouldn't help me at all. If your cancer is also hormone-receptor negative, Tamoxifen wouldn't help you either. Tamoxifen is for cancers that are hormone-receptor positive, meaning their growth is stimulated by the hormones in your body--estrogen (ER) and/or progesterone (PgR or PR).

As for the radiation, that's nearly standard after lumpectomy. If you had had a mastectomy, radiation would not be standard, as mastectomy reduces the chance of recurrence to about 5-6% over ten years. Lumpectomy alone is not as effective; lumpectomy with radiation brings the risk of recurrence down to about 7%--which is considered a nonsignificant difference from mastectomy's results.

I agree that asking more questions is great idea--you deserve answers that you can understand. If your oncologist is unwilling to take the time to explain things to you, you might want to find another oncologist.

You might also get the book I mentioned above--Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book, 4th edition--it is really helpful in explaining all of the terminology and what everything means in terms of treatment for each type of cancer.

Lots of luck--keep us posted!

HUG! Sandy

welcome
I am glad you found the discussion boards. Ask any other questions you need to about the site...the experts here will guide you. Come here often and ask whatever. I know you will find support.

becky

Lynda53

hi hamish, sure you are scared. I was too.
You have come to a good place, people are of great thoughts advice and support.
I had written a dialogue of my scares the last 3 months, but it is not needed so I deleted it.
I will say chemo did scare me, however it was not as bad as I had thought it might be. I am planning to be back on chemo soon as I need it to kill the beast within! Tak ethe pre and post meds to make it all go smoother!
Calming thoughts and positive thoughts to you at this so difficult time.
Peace

DebbyM

Lynda53 said:

hi hamish, sure you are scared. I was too.
You have come to a good place, people are of great thoughts advice and support.
I had written a dialogue of my scares the last 3 months, but it is not needed so I deleted it.
I will say chemo did scare me, however it was not as bad as I had thought it might be. I am planning to be back on chemo soon as I need it to kill the beast within! Tak ethe pre and post meds to make it all go smoother!
Calming thoughts and positive thoughts to you at this so difficult time.
Peace

Welcome Hamish to the club
Welcome Hamish to the club that noone wants to belong to. You will find a lot of support, info and encouragement here from fellow bc survivors.

I pray that your treatment will go easily for you.

Debby

marywest

It's a God send
Chemo has a very scary sound to it, but it really is a God send, it kills cancer cells. So many people have horrifying stories to tell you, and they are usualy the people who have not gone through it. We have, it isn't as bad as it sounds. They make sure you are comfortable, our hospital offered movies to watch, books to read and brought me lunch. They give you medicine to stop nausea, and any questions you have please write them all down. The worst of chemo is losing your hair, no doubt about it, but its temporary. Your life is important and what ever it takes to live and kill the crappy cancer, do it. Your fears will diminish they to are only temporary. You are not alone, you will be loved and supported throughout this journey by all of us. Get all your questions answered by your doctor, keep us posted!!! God bless you, your in my prayers.

survivorbc09

always said:

welcome
I am glad you found the discussion boards. Ask any other questions you need to about the site...the experts here will guide you. Come here often and ask whatever. I know you will find support.

becky

Hey Hamish!
Hey Hamish! All of us bc survivors will help you however we can. Sending you big hugs and positive thoughts!

Hugs

jnl

marywest said:

It's a God send
Chemo has a very scary sound to it, but it really is a God send, it kills cancer cells. So many people have horrifying stories to tell you, and they are usualy the people who have not gone through it. We have, it isn't as bad as it sounds. They make sure you are comfortable, our hospital offered movies to watch, books to read and brought me lunch. They give you medicine to stop nausea, and any questions you have please write them all down. The worst of chemo is losing your hair, no doubt about it, but its temporary. Your life is important and what ever it takes to live and kill the crappy cancer, do it. Your fears will diminish they to are only temporary. You are not alone, you will be loved and supported throughout this journey by all of us. Get all your questions answered by your doctor, keep us posted!!! God bless you, your in my prayers.

Hey Hamish! I didn't have
Hey Hamish! I didn't have chemo, but, I know that just that word scares me. But, there are so many bc survivors on here that have had it and can share their experiences with you. I hope that they ease some of your fear. Good luck!

Leeza

shortscake

scares
Hello and how are you? let me be the first to tell you i was so scared when i started chemo that when i got to the doctors office i set out in the car for over 30mins before i went in. the one thing thing that help me was that everyone that i dealt with that day explained every little thing to me so i knew what was going on and what was going to happen next and when it came to them using my port i thought i was going to pass out but the nurse was just talking i didn't know she was flushing the port till she said ok you can go back to the chemo room i was like wow.after my first chemo i was fine, every Monday i go in saying lets do this.you will be fine do like i did found a little old lady and set by her and she was a talker and time went so fast.now every monday its like she holds a chair next to her just for me its so funny. one thing for sure you will be fine one thing about cancer it makes you very strong. please get back with us and let us know how it went.may the force be with you..one of my friends calls me every sunday to tell me that she loves star track..

Sunrae

shortscake said:

scares
Hello and how are you? let me be the first to tell you i was so scared when i started chemo that when i got to the doctors office i set out in the car for over 30mins before i went in. the one thing thing that help me was that everyone that i dealt with that day explained every little thing to me so i knew what was going on and what was going to happen next and when it came to them using my port i thought i was going to pass out but the nurse was just talking i didn't know she was flushing the port till she said ok you can go back to the chemo room i was like wow.after my first chemo i was fine, every Monday i go in saying lets do this.you will be fine do like i did found a little old lady and set by her and she was a talker and time went so fast.now every monday its like she holds a chair next to her just for me its so funny. one thing for sure you will be fine one thing about cancer it makes you very strong. please get back with us and let us know how it went.may the force be with you..one of my friends calls me every sunday to tell me that she loves star track..

Hi Hamish, I'm about your
Hi Hamish, I'm about your age and I'm scared of the whole ball of wax, chemo, masectomy, radiation, I haven't had any of it yet. My onc score was fairly low and my dr didn't think chemo would help me much so I was put on a pill, Femara, to shrink my tumors. I will be having a masectomy in Feb, now my doc had added radiation and possibly chemo. I thought I had dodged the bullet but now it looks like its all still ahead of me. And I'll still be on Femara for 5 years. I've heard from these courageous women here that chemo is doable and that all of it can be done. My best wishes to you and let us know how you're doing. Keep posting. Sending you warm hugs.

DianeBC

Sunrae said:

Hi Hamish, I'm about your
Hi Hamish, I'm about your age and I'm scared of the whole ball of wax, chemo, masectomy, radiation, I haven't had any of it yet. My onc score was fairly low and my dr didn't think chemo would help me much so I was put on a pill, Femara, to shrink my tumors. I will be having a masectomy in Feb, now my doc had added radiation and possibly chemo. I thought I had dodged the bullet but now it looks like its all still ahead of me. And I'll still be on Femara for 5 years. I've heard from these courageous women here that chemo is doable and that all of it can be done. My best wishes to you and let us know how you're doing. Keep posting. Sending you warm hugs.

Hi
Hey Hamish! Just to let you know that chemo is very doable. They have come a long ways in helping you with any side effects that you may have. Sending you prayers!

Hugs, Diane ♥