Pain?.... 2 years later
I'm sorry to be depressive or negative.. Just giving you the worst-case-scenario-facts.
I really HOPE this is NOT the way for any of you.............But....
I'm sorry, I can't be positive all of the time... maybe not even most of the time anymore.
Hugz Jxxxxxxxxxxx
Comments
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Tasha
I am so sorry that
Tasha
I am so sorry that your little blue bird of happiness appears to have S**t on your head so to speak. It is okay to not be positive all the time. I think sometimes the aftermath of all of this is worse that the original diagnosis and treatments. Then we being proactive, fighting, and our concentration was on doing all that. Then that is all finished but it isn't done. It's like making gingerbread cookies but not icing them. It's okay but icing is better. So, for you, where's the Fing icing? It's not supposed to be pain, and no taste buds or continuing chemo brain. I didn't have chemo so I don't know first hand what any of that is like except the chemo brain (I have that without the chemo) I can't spell anymore and mix up words alot but I can do numbers and math. Maybe we have a whole brain between us. I don't have any suggestions on how to get the taste buds back faster but have you addressed the neuropathy with your doctors. I am glad that you are venting because I do believe that expressing frustration helps even if only to enable us to let off some steam. So much of this (well all of it actually) is just not fair and I hate when any of my sisters are having side effects. And having them years later sucks big time. So I am sending a huge cyber hug your way. I wish I was there to bring you a bottle (or two) of cheer. It wouldn't change anything except that if you have enough cheer you don't care. I hope that the true bluebird of happiness swoops in and fills your cup, my daft sod sister.
Stef0 -
♥ Sweet Dear Tasha ♥
♥
My heart just sank when I read this from you. Just saying that I am sorry does not seem like enough meaning behind how I feel about this. You are such a bright light on this site and have always been so up and so supportive of everyone in your cute humerous way. You were our first joke lady on here, remember? You hid from all of us for so long the abusive relationship that you were in. But, when you finally told us, we were all so relieved that you had escaped it and were starting to finally live a real life without abuse from another. We applauded you as it took strength to do what you did.
You have every right to feel negative or down. Just look at what you have been thru. Seriously, think about it. Bc survivors, to me, are the bravest of all. Unless you have been thru bc, noone can even have the slightest hint of how difficult mentally and physically it is. We are in the FIGHT for our LIVES!
I know that my fighting bc for the 2nd time and just being out of my 2nd surgery this year almost got me down. But, I realized that I had way too much to live for, way to much to still accomplish, way too much of life left in me. I refuse to let the beast take me down and I REFUSE to let it take you down. Got it? I will do whatever it takes Tasha to bring you to a better and happier feeling.
If you need a different antidepressant, please call your oncologist. If you need a friend, call me or any other friend that you have. If you need spiritual help, please seek it. We all find strength in some of the strangest spots sometimes. Just please Tasha, stay open and up front with us. Let us guide you thru this! We all love you and will help in anyway possible, ok?
Love, Jeanne ♥0 -
That was just wonderfulJeanne D said:♥ Sweet Dear Tasha ♥
♥
My heart just sank when I read this from you. Just saying that I am sorry does not seem like enough meaning behind how I feel about this. You are such a bright light on this site and have always been so up and so supportive of everyone in your cute humerous way. You were our first joke lady on here, remember? You hid from all of us for so long the abusive relationship that you were in. But, when you finally told us, we were all so relieved that you had escaped it and were starting to finally live a real life without abuse from another. We applauded you as it took strength to do what you did.
You have every right to feel negative or down. Just look at what you have been thru. Seriously, think about it. Bc survivors, to me, are the bravest of all. Unless you have been thru bc, noone can even have the slightest hint of how difficult mentally and physically it is. We are in the FIGHT for our LIVES!
I know that my fighting bc for the 2nd time and just being out of my 2nd surgery this year almost got me down. But, I realized that I had way too much to live for, way to much to still accomplish, way too much of life left in me. I refuse to let the beast take me down and I REFUSE to let it take you down. Got it? I will do whatever it takes Tasha to bring you to a better and happier feeling.
If you need a different antidepressant, please call your oncologist. If you need a friend, call me or any other friend that you have. If you need spiritual help, please seek it. We all find strength in some of the strangest spots sometimes. Just please Tasha, stay open and up front with us. Let us guide you thru this! We all love you and will help in anyway possible, ok?
Love, Jeanne ♥
That was just wonderful Jeanne.0 -
Jeanne and Stef, your postsfauxma said:Tasha
I am so sorry that
Tasha
I am so sorry that your little blue bird of happiness appears to have S**t on your head so to speak. It is okay to not be positive all the time. I think sometimes the aftermath of all of this is worse that the original diagnosis and treatments. Then we being proactive, fighting, and our concentration was on doing all that. Then that is all finished but it isn't done. It's like making gingerbread cookies but not icing them. It's okay but icing is better. So, for you, where's the Fing icing? It's not supposed to be pain, and no taste buds or continuing chemo brain. I didn't have chemo so I don't know first hand what any of that is like except the chemo brain (I have that without the chemo) I can't spell anymore and mix up words alot but I can do numbers and math. Maybe we have a whole brain between us. I don't have any suggestions on how to get the taste buds back faster but have you addressed the neuropathy with your doctors. I am glad that you are venting because I do believe that expressing frustration helps even if only to enable us to let off some steam. So much of this (well all of it actually) is just not fair and I hate when any of my sisters are having side effects. And having them years later sucks big time. So I am sending a huge cyber hug your way. I wish I was there to bring you a bottle (or two) of cheer. It wouldn't change anything except that if you have enough cheer you don't care. I hope that the true bluebird of happiness swoops in and fills your cup, my daft sod sister.
Stef
Jeanne and Stef, your posts were wonderful. I can't add anything to them other than to say that there are a lot of sisters who will be very sad when they read your post, Julia. You have been a huge help to so many, adn we have admired your courage. We will keep you in our thoughts and hope that these problems will soon disappear, or if they don't, they will be less bothersome. We love our daft sod.
Joyce0 -
Dittojk1952 said:Jeanne and Stef, your posts
Jeanne and Stef, your posts were wonderful. I can't add anything to them other than to say that there are a lot of sisters who will be very sad when they read your post, Julia. You have been a huge help to so many, adn we have admired your courage. We will keep you in our thoughts and hope that these problems will soon disappear, or if they don't, they will be less bothersome. We love our daft sod.
Joyce
I echo what Joyce said about Jeanne and Stef's posts. They were wonderful! We are all in this fight together Tasha. And, that means that we share everything, the good and the bad. So, when you need someone to lean on, lean on us. So you do that now, lean on us for support and encouragement.
Hugs, Debby0 -
Awww Tasha....
It's winter, the days are shorter, cancer sucks.....
You know what we need? We need to get Greta to set up another conference call so we can HEAR each others hugs!
The only good thing about being down is, if I hang on long enough, it will be yesterday's news. Something is going to change, eventually. So, hang in there, Tasha, and pick just one thing to deal with at a time. A suggestion for the Neuropathy is ask your Dr if he can do nerve blocks to relieve the pain (this is what I am going to have done). Without the constant pain, things will look more positive, I'm sure.
Hugs....♥Pammy0 -
Sorryfauxma said:That was just wonderful
That was just wonderful Jeanne.
So sorry Tasha that this is all happening to you. I pray that somehow you can get past and thru all of this with the help of your friends, your family, us and whatever else it might take.
HUGS!0 -
love the bird
Tasha,
I love the expression on the bird's face, and it's blue too (as in sad). I think I would feel the same way after 2 years of feeling badly. I think the idea of asking Dr. about neural blockers might be good. I still have stiffness and minor pains in the shoulder they took lymph nodes out of, but doing stretching excersizes usually takes care of it after a day or 2. It does seem like it should be back to "normal" by now.
I think you and I started posting neaar the same time (summer 2007 for me). It doesn't seem like 2 years ago. I hope things start going better for you soon.
Take care of yourself, seof0 -
TLynda53 said:tasha I am so sorry you have such pain.
If I could take some for you, I would do so!
Sending you positive healing pain vibes & prayer!
Peace
Never apologize Tasha for being depressed or down. We have all been there and will again unfortunately.
Just the diagnosis of bc is enough to put us all at the bottom of the barrel. But, if you noticed, we are pulling ourselves out of that barrel slowly but surely. And, you will too.
I didn't have chemo, so, I can't relate to what you are going thru now. But, there is a lot of help on here and a lot of help out in the medical field for you too.
Feeling down and depressed is normal. Staying there is not. So, don't let yourself feel this way for too long. Ask and get some help somewhere Tasha.
Hugs, Leeza0 -
Oh Tasha... I am reallyseof said:love the bird
Tasha,
I love the expression on the bird's face, and it's blue too (as in sad). I think I would feel the same way after 2 years of feeling badly. I think the idea of asking Dr. about neural blockers might be good. I still have stiffness and minor pains in the shoulder they took lymph nodes out of, but doing stretching excersizes usually takes care of it after a day or 2. It does seem like it should be back to "normal" by now.
I think you and I started posting neaar the same time (summer 2007 for me). It doesn't seem like 2 years ago. I hope things start going better for you soon.
Take care of yourself, seof
Oh Tasha... I am really sorry that you are hitting a bump... yes, I will call it a bump... because whatever there is to deal with, you my friend are a strong, brave survivor... you have been through so much... allow yourself this time...allow us to help you through it... you are loved!
♥ & hugs,
~T0 -
tasha
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. I've found a lot of great support for the short time I have been on this site. I hope the positive vibes you are getting from all of these wonderful people will help you at least a little. You've been through a lot so I hope you are able to dinf the comfort you need. {{{ HUGS }}}0 -
Dear Tasha, I'm so sorryGloria09 said:tasha
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. I've found a lot of great support for the short time I have been on this site. I hope the positive vibes you are getting from all of these wonderful people will help you at least a little. You've been through a lot so I hope you are able to dinf the comfort you need. {{{ HUGS }}}
Dear Tasha, I'm so sorry that you are having so many problems. You always seem so upbeat and encouraging. I appreciate so much you being here on the board and look forward to the day you post that you're better. Hope you can feel the love and hugs coming to you. Hope you find relief soon.0 -
TashaGloria09 said:tasha
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. I've found a lot of great support for the short time I have been on this site. I hope the positive vibes you are getting from all of these wonderful people will help you at least a little. You've been through a lot so I hope you are able to dinf the comfort you need. {{{ HUGS }}}
I feel your pain and very sympathetic to your conditions. I am sorry that you have been experiencing pain and side effects of Chemo..
I finished Chemo exactly 1 year ago and YES Still feel pain in my arm, tingling, and Neuropathy. It is getting better, unfortunately very, very slowly. It is not a worst case, it is What Oncologists would never tell us...
Everyone mentions hair, nobody tells us about mind, lack of energy, Chemo brain, hipper sensitivity and many other little things
As for Chemo Brain I read that regular physical and mental exercises and positive emotions can re-wire lost brain functions. i have not tried myself.
Hugs0 -
Well, dear sister, I'm with
Well, dear sister, I'm with you! And gray winter days don't help a bit, do they? Part of it is no one told me that I would continue to have pain after surgery. I figured...OK, no boobs..I'll have a scar, but I'll get on. But I too am tired of the tightness and pain in my chest, shoulder, and arm. My shoulder hurts so bad at night time! During the day I can mostly ignore it all by keeping busy.
But I learned the hard way that stuffing it all in and pretending that it's not there is not wise - not wise at all. So don't be sorry to be depressed or negative. Acknowledging it, deflates it. Good for you. Keep venting. I'm guessing a Tasha explosion, being so much larger than life and wonderful as you are, might be, well, prodigious!
xoxoxoxo Lynn0 -
Oh Dearlynn1950 said:Well, dear sister, I'm with
Well, dear sister, I'm with you! And gray winter days don't help a bit, do they? Part of it is no one told me that I would continue to have pain after surgery. I figured...OK, no boobs..I'll have a scar, but I'll get on. But I too am tired of the tightness and pain in my chest, shoulder, and arm. My shoulder hurts so bad at night time! During the day I can mostly ignore it all by keeping busy.
But I learned the hard way that stuffing it all in and pretending that it's not there is not wise - not wise at all. So don't be sorry to be depressed or negative. Acknowledging it, deflates it. Good for you. Keep venting. I'm guessing a Tasha explosion, being so much larger than life and wonderful as you are, might be, well, prodigious!
xoxoxoxo Lynn
Tasha, I am so, so sorry that you are feeling like this. May I curse? &#(@ Breast Cancer! There, I feel better. I wish I could fix you that easily, but, I know I cannot. Vent, curse, cry, do whatever it takes to make you feel better. But, if you don't get better real soon, go see your oncologist and get some help Tasha. We will be right there with you.
Kristin ♥0 -
Jlynn1950 said:Well, dear sister, I'm with
Well, dear sister, I'm with you! And gray winter days don't help a bit, do they? Part of it is no one told me that I would continue to have pain after surgery. I figured...OK, no boobs..I'll have a scar, but I'll get on. But I too am tired of the tightness and pain in my chest, shoulder, and arm. My shoulder hurts so bad at night time! During the day I can mostly ignore it all by keeping busy.
But I learned the hard way that stuffing it all in and pretending that it's not there is not wise - not wise at all. So don't be sorry to be depressed or negative. Acknowledging it, deflates it. Good for you. Keep venting. I'm guessing a Tasha explosion, being so much larger than life and wonderful as you are, might be, well, prodigious!
xoxoxoxo Lynn
I am so sorry that you are having this pain and this rough road. I had no idea that you were feeling like this. I am glad that you have come out to tell all of us at least now, so that we can hopefully help you in some way. Please keep us updated on how you are doing.
KYLEZ ♥0 -
Tasha, I am so sorry you areMyTurnNow said:I think you have gotten some
I think you have gotten some excellent advice from everyone so I really don't have anything to add. I do hope that you get some relief and begin to feel better soon. Sending a big hug to you!!
Tasha, I am so sorry you are having continuing problems, as it seems that there should be a time limit on how long we should endure all of the side effects that hit us after treatment (not to mention during treatment). I can surely sympathize with you, as my treatment began April 2008, and I think as time goes on my pain levels seem to have increased. After treatment was completed for me (chemo and rads), then started the hormone theraphy (which I finally gave up on after six months). Then came my diagnosis of tardive dyskinesia caused by taking a nausea drug Reglan during chemo. Those symptoms will be with me forever (neuropathy in my mouth, constant uncontrollable muscle movement in the mouth and fingers and toes), and then about four months ago here comes a bone spur that was removed from my shoulder, and I am still suffering with the pain from that. Talk about never ending. You are right, it isn't fair to have to deal with this pain so far out of treatment, but we each have our own road to travel, no matter how easy or hard it may be. Tasha, you have always been an inspiration to those of us who have gone through this process, and along the way I could tell that you were struggling with different aspects of the treatment. Don't give up on finding a way to get comfortable with your own body. The doctors are there for a reason....to help us through treatment. And treatment doesn't end when they remove the cancer, it continues until we can get ourself in a state of comfortableness. Stay after them until you are comfortable, and functoning as you want to function. There are just too many drugs out there to treat all kinds of things you describe.....something has to work. Also, the physical exercising works for me at times, so give that a try as well. I knew going into treatment that there were going to be hard times ahead, and I can tell you that I think I have had my share. However, each day brings me courage that I didn't know was there, and each day I am determined to beat whatever is thrown at me. Hang in there girl.....we are all here to listen, give strength, and advice when necessary. You are deserving of a comfortable life, and you can achieve this with just a word to the right person...there is help out there. I send lots of hugs your way, and will continue to do so until you no longer need them (hopefully that will be soon). We all love you. Hugs again. Judy0
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