I know its just hair but....:(

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  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #22
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    Though Cancer should indeed
    Though Cancer should indeed be a crime, fighting it is NOT! I will not go so far as to say a port is a badge of honor, and neither is a bald head, but they are also not something you did, or something you need to hide. ( except for the personal decision regarding scarves, hats, wigs) I agree with the suggestion to wear earrings~ especially at this time of year you can find sparkly, winter-themed (snowflakes, for example) dangly ones which will draw the attention away from what you don't want to be the focus of attention! If your hair is coming out in clumps, I hate to be the bringer of further bad news, but no amount of TLC will keep it on your head. It will be coming out in clumps and getting all over everything at the party~ which I know will be even MORE humiliating than not having hair at all! So sweetie...time to buzz your head. Cry of course~ 99.999% of us did, and mourn that loss. It is just hair, my eye! It is YOUR hair, and another sign of what you are fighting!

    Dress up~ you are sooo gorgeous, and I know you will be met with the hugs and love you radiate. Get a beautiful head-covering and those earrings~ and oh yeah RED lipstick!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #23
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    chenheart said:

    Though Cancer should indeed
    Though Cancer should indeed be a crime, fighting it is NOT! I will not go so far as to say a port is a badge of honor, and neither is a bald head, but they are also not something you did, or something you need to hide. ( except for the personal decision regarding scarves, hats, wigs) I agree with the suggestion to wear earrings~ especially at this time of year you can find sparkly, winter-themed (snowflakes, for example) dangly ones which will draw the attention away from what you don't want to be the focus of attention! If your hair is coming out in clumps, I hate to be the bringer of further bad news, but no amount of TLC will keep it on your head. It will be coming out in clumps and getting all over everything at the party~ which I know will be even MORE humiliating than not having hair at all! So sweetie...time to buzz your head. Cry of course~ 99.999% of us did, and mourn that loss. It is just hair, my eye! It is YOUR hair, and another sign of what you are fighting!

    Dress up~ you are sooo gorgeous, and I know you will be met with the hugs and love you radiate. Get a beautiful head-covering and those earrings~ and oh yeah RED lipstick!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    I buzzed my head before it
    I buzzed my head before it came out. i didnt want to deal with it and knew it would come out as "other" places were shedding. I am glad I did as my eyebrows are thinning and my lashes are coming out and that is bothering me. I think I wanted to take control. I feel most like me with my wig on, I went to a place prior to chemo to have it match my color, it is significantly thicker than my own hair and prob looks better although it gets hot. In the beginning I was nervous about wearing my scarf in public and running into people, now it doesnt bother me. I just dont wait for them to say something and it is comfortable. not awkward. I f I went to a party with people I did not know i would wear my wig, out and around, I wear scarves. home I wear cotton caps. I think I have been feeling rather lousy that my energy is taken up in dealing with that, you'll be hearing me crying when chemo is done and I have something else to focus on LOL. anyway you have choose what feels right to you , you come across as a strong energetic, girl and I know you will find what fits for you . So many things about this chemo I wish was easier. You are strong and beautiful!
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #24
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    taleena said:

    Lisa... I can only imagine
    Lisa... I can only imagine how hard it must be... but know that your beauty will radiate around you... your smile, and the twinkle in your eye... I admire your streangth and know you are in my thoughts.

    Hugs,

    ~T

    Lisa, I am so sorry that you
    Lisa, I am so sorry that you even have to go thru this. I know you are probably sick of hearing this, but, you are so beautiful and that will show whether you have hair or not.

    Have a good time at the party for us! Show how strong and beautiful we bc survivors are!

    Hugs, Leeza
  • j916
    j916 Member Posts: 141
    #25
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    Just
    You know, one thing i've learned through this journey is that the word "just" should be eliminated from our vocabulary when describing anything we have to deal with:

    It's just a breast
    It's just outpatient surgery
    It's just hair
    It's just a bump in the road
    It's just a few months of chemo
    It's just medication pain
    It's just chemo brain
    It's just....blah blah blah

    What it is is our reality....it's our perspective...it's our life. And there is NOTHING about this that should be minimized in the least.
    It's your hair....it's a part of your body, and even tho you know that you are more than your hair...it's a difficult thing to go through.
    Kudo's to you....finding strength in a rotten time will be a huge asset in the future.
    Holding your hand....jeanne
  • Lynda53
    Lynda53 Member Posts: 210
    #26
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    Can you get a wig, scarf or hat?
    If it really is bugging you. I understand, I never wore hats, now I do, even in the house as it is cold with no hair!
    My cancer center has all sorts of head coverings that they sell, and mnay that they give away, and wigs too.
    Try a local wig place and ask if they have wigs donated, as well of course as American Cancer Society, Susan B Koman.
    If you want I'll express mail you mine. It is light brown, short (just over the ears) synthetic but far from cheap! I am serious, private email me and we can talk or I can give youmy wig lady's tn , she woudl send you one by Friday.
    Peace
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #27
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    j916 said:

    Just
    You know, one thing i've learned through this journey is that the word "just" should be eliminated from our vocabulary when describing anything we have to deal with:

    It's just a breast
    It's just outpatient surgery
    It's just hair
    It's just a bump in the road
    It's just a few months of chemo
    It's just medication pain
    It's just chemo brain
    It's just....blah blah blah

    What it is is our reality....it's our perspective...it's our life. And there is NOTHING about this that should be minimized in the least.
    It's your hair....it's a part of your body, and even tho you know that you are more than your hair...it's a difficult thing to go through.
    Kudo's to you....finding strength in a rotten time will be a huge asset in the future.
    Holding your hand....jeanne

    I like this, eliminating
    I like this, eliminating that word "just". I think I will try.

    Leeza
  • pitt
    pitt Member Posts: 387
    #28
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    If you want to try a scarf,
    If you want to try a scarf, try a big 36" square. That way you can have a long section to drape over your shoulder (as you would a ponytail.) I always had long long hair so these scarves have been helping me feel less "weird" about not having hair. I agree with the big earrings and the dark lipstick. Never underestimate eyeliner either! I know this is a shock, but it's better to just get it over with and buzz the head. You'll be glad to have it over so that you can focus on moving on to the next stage. Good luck! Pitt
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #29
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    I didn't think it would
    I didn't think it would bother me to lose my hair but the big chunks coming out did. It might help to cut it short. Once it was gone I didn't worry about it as much. Hugs.
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    #30
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    DITTO DITTO DITTO
    Nothing more to add except go and have a great time! I was bald last Christmas so I know what you are feeling. All these places to go. I found a couple of great turbans and bought the "halo" from ACS catalog. It really did look like bangs and side burns. Big earrings and lots of makeup. I actually like having the port scar on my chest. Sometimes I see people staring at it and wondering, but mostly I keep them wondering. If they ask, I tell. I know I fought the battle and won, and my scars are my metals. Have a great time at the party!
    Pat
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #31
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    padee6339 said:

    DITTO DITTO DITTO
    Nothing more to add except go and have a great time! I was bald last Christmas so I know what you are feeling. All these places to go. I found a couple of great turbans and bought the "halo" from ACS catalog. It really did look like bangs and side burns. Big earrings and lots of makeup. I actually like having the port scar on my chest. Sometimes I see people staring at it and wondering, but mostly I keep them wondering. If they ask, I tell. I know I fought the battle and won, and my scars are my metals. Have a great time at the party!
    Pat

    LISA!
    You are gorgeous with or WITHOUT hair...........This is a badge.... Hell It's not like you caught a venerial disease by sleeping around!... Don't feel ashamed. If anyone is insensitive enough to make you feel like you stand out for the WRONG reasons.........THEY have a problem.. A bigger one than we have LOL.
    I got stared at only once when I was bald...... Some young beautiful (and hairy) kid at a checkout...............I just stared right back and said......... "Hi.... We can swap if you like?"

    Don't think about what others think of YOU.... Think about what You think of THEM?...You'll be OK... Even bald and miserable, you'll still be the Belle of the Ball.........I know, I WAS! Huge hugs to you fellow Canadian person.....XXXXX Get 'er done!

    Jxxxxxxxx
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #32
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    It's not just hair, it's
    It's not just hair, it's your hair. And it's the visual reminder that you have cancer that I think would be the most difficult part of losing one's hair. It is represents more than our feminine side, it's something that we are excepted to have. Men go bald, ladies don't. One of my daughter's friends in college shaved her head because she wanted to and everyone assumed she had cancer so yes, it's tough to deal with. There are beautiful options though. Scarves, wigs, wraps, hats, are all possibilities and it seems everyone has their favorites. Mine, I think, would be hats, beautiful, crazy, brimmed, cloche, all types. It's hard not to feel like everyone will be staring or pitying you but most will actually be admiring your strength and courage in dealing with this. So buzz the hair, mourn its loss, find your favorite hair alternative, go to your party with you head held high and party the night away. You deserve a great night out so make it one. Positive thoughts and cyber hugs beaming your way.
    Stef
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #33
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    fauxma said:

    It's not just hair, it's
    It's not just hair, it's your hair. And it's the visual reminder that you have cancer that I think would be the most difficult part of losing one's hair. It is represents more than our feminine side, it's something that we are excepted to have. Men go bald, ladies don't. One of my daughter's friends in college shaved her head because she wanted to and everyone assumed she had cancer so yes, it's tough to deal with. There are beautiful options though. Scarves, wigs, wraps, hats, are all possibilities and it seems everyone has their favorites. Mine, I think, would be hats, beautiful, crazy, brimmed, cloche, all types. It's hard not to feel like everyone will be staring or pitying you but most will actually be admiring your strength and courage in dealing with this. So buzz the hair, mourn its loss, find your favorite hair alternative, go to your party with you head held high and party the night away. You deserve a great night out so make it one. Positive thoughts and cyber hugs beaming your way.
    Stef

    i wish i had saved it for
    i wish i had saved it for the birds in the spring but dont know if you can even do that? I know some womwn who wrap beautiful scarves, they look so beautiful. I go with the basic. You will be ok, I always wondr What was Britney Spears thinking?
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #34
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    Hi Lisa. I had long hair
    Hi Lisa. I had long hair all my life from when I was 12 years old and got an absolutely awful and embarrassing haircut. I always felt my head and face were the wrong shape and size and that my long hair hid that. At first I thought I would be a unique one whose hair would not fall out. When my hair started falling out from chemo, I had it cut chin length. I got so many compliments! My daughters fooled with it, straightening it, etc. I felt so cool! Then it really began falling out, big time. Then, I got it buzzed. My poor head was so cold at night, I slept with a soft hat on.

    But wonders! Friends and family showered me with beautiful hats and scarves. I went on-line and found some cool ways to wrap the scarves. I have scarves from Germany, India, and Africa, now.

    In 6 months after chemo my hair started growing back. I got so many compliments, and my head didn't seem so big and misshapen anymore. I had gotten used to it. Now my hair is short and curly and I like it.

    Cancer changes are not fun, and losing hair is one of the very worst of them. I used my bald period as a time to fool around with makeup and earrings, too, like others have mentioned. It's the old if you get a lemon, make lemonade.

    You are beautiful! And you have nothing to hide!

    xoxoxoxoxo Lynn

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